The Stigma Of Adults Playing Video Games

[Halo Infinity]

This has to be the first time I've copied and pasted a topic/post from Provider Module to Echoing The Sound in not just a year, but at ETS altogether. (It's always been the other way around before this thread came to be.) This topic as a gamer has always fascinated me for quite some time, and you'll see why as soon as you read this post further. I'm also sure that the majority of posters here are obviously accepting, so it's no surprise that it hasn't been brought up here before, but I still thought that this topic was an interesting one. Have you also encountered this before as an adult that plays video games? (I also didn't realize just how real and widespread the negative stereotypes/criticisms directed at gamers were for quite some time.)

@Space Suicide (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=532) @Damian (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=1330)

I couldn't think of a better title, and I haven't noticed how common this stigma could be depending on who you talk to. It seems like there are a lot of people that expect you to give up video games after some, or all of the following things happen.

1. After you graduate high school.

2. After you graduate college.

3. After you start a career.

4. After you get married.

5. After you have children.

Some people seem to think it's weird to play video games as you get into your mid 20s. I haven't seen as much stigma directed at gamers in their late teens and early 20s though, but as soon as they hit 23 or 24, some people think that's weird. Have any of you ever seen this, or have dealt with it a lot, especially if you were and still are a gamer?

As for another question, is it also abnormal for people even in their late teens and 20s to hang out in each others' homes by playing video games?

(I didn't realize that it might've been abnormal to other adults because I've had a close friend that was also a gamer that I've regularly played video games with on the weekends with, and when I said I did that instead of clubbing, most people at my last job looked at me as if I was weird, since that was my response to what I did on the weekends.)

[Maury]

Most of my friends are avid gamers so there's no stigma among us, we all get into talking about games with each other and playing stuff, it's just fun and we like it. But I've experienced it before, my ex-girlfriend was really critical of my enjoyment of games, and I sort of took it to heart because I wanted to keep sleeping with her, but I've moved to a point in my life where I'm not going to accept that kind of criticism anymore, and I've come to grips with being a person who enjoys and wants to play games. If people can't accept that about me, screw them. I had an encounter just last night, though, where a guy was like "I don't want to be condescending or anything but [I don't play video games because] I have a girlfriend." and I was like "hey to each their own, but I'm into it." It just seems like a stupid criticism, and age is an arbitrary thing anyway, I'd rather have fun in life at age 30+ playing games than be beholden to other people's opinions of who I "should" be.

[Fixer808]

I haven't encountered this at ALL. It's now 2014, and so many games are marketed towards people in their 20s/30s that it's a non-issue. Friend's BF stood in line for a PS4 and the only reason she laughed about it was because he stood in line for 4 hours instead of waiting a week, she doesn't care if he plays. I'm 77 hours deep into Skyrim. My 60yr old dad plays Guild Wars!

Maybe when I was in high school is was still stigmatized, but that was back when I was making levels for Duke Nukem 3D. Hell, here in Vancouver there's a bar called EXP built around the concept of gaming!

[Jinsai]

I think people are coming around to the conclusion that games aren't just for kids anymore. Then again, every now and again I feel a little silly for playing a game that is aimed primarily at a younger audience.

[liquidcalm]

The only thing that stops me playing games is time. If me or my wife are busy with freelance projects, work or whatever, games is usually the thing that goes in favour of movies, cooking, tv series or sleep. But really we are both big gamers. Games are our main form of entertainment and while interest wanes occasionally, I don't think they are going anywhere in our household (although we are yet to face babygedeon, so I can see parents rolling their eyes and shaking their heads).


Then again, every now and again I feel a little silly for playing a game that is aimed primarily at a younger audience.

Interestingly I don't really mind playing really 'kiddie' games on occasion, particularly good platformers. Its games like Mortal Kombat (no offence Space Suicide!) that make me uncomfortable to be a gamer because there really is no reason for the OTT violence and bloodyness, its just presentation over a solid fighting engine. And thats not a 'I don't like violence in games' comment, I just want it to serve a purpose. I got a bit embarrassed playing Killzone Shadow Fall because the story is so dumb in places and completely at odds with what you are actually doing in the game.. Thats more the problem I have with games, and what a lot of older people respond to as they only really see the cutscenes in ads, they mostly seem like they have been written by b-list action movie writers. Its like endlessly watching bad cover versions of the Bourne Identity. Things like "looks at the blood, look at the smoke, look at the explosions" don't really have much of an impact of someone who doesn't want to explode people, but if that is all what is being promoted as gaming then of course people are going to think "maybe these 'games' aren't for me" and go back to playing Candy Crush whilst still saying "all games are for angry teenage boys"

[Fixer808]

Mario 3 is still absolutely the shit. I love it forever.

[Space Suicide]

Its games like Mortal Kombat (no offence Space Suicide!) that make me uncomfortable to be a gamer because there really is no reason for the OTT violence and bloodyness, its just presentation over a solid fighting engine.

Nah, no offense. I love fighting games and like Mortal Kombat but I didn't make the game. :p

I'll copy and paste what I said elsewhere:

It's not secret I play games a lot but even though it seems I'm online 98% of the time, I truly don't play games every single second. When in high school and college, I played my gaming systems but still did the work and passed every course I took as that is and was my top priority in the long run.

It's like any other hobby really - you do it for yourself, it's fun, you connect to others also into it and it is a way to relax. If getting shitfaced at a club or bar is your kind of fun then go ahead. I prefer relaxing on the floor or chair and playing a game with some friends instead. To me that defines "fun" but as with everything, the topic is subjective. Everything can be judged and everything can be put down. Games and people that play them get a lot of unfair flak from stereotypes that people think MUST be true. It's generalized to lazy good for nothings obsessed with K/D rates in multiplayer games, uninvolved with people outside of games and events going on in life elsewhere. It's bullshit. It's a hobby, that like any others, can be moderated to have fun at your leisure or go off the deep end with.

I graduated college and am in search for a job in my field after my seasonal retail work just let me go. I still play and will do so, regardless. My mother played games in her youth, my best friends do and even my girlfriend does so...I think I'm pretty normal for the most part when it comes down to it. I'm a functioning member of society that will handle his shit but still game for a long, long time. I started when I was 7 years old. I'm 23 now, that's a lovely 16 years being a nerdy, deviant. I'm doing quite fine.

[thelastdisciple]

I just hate that young adult snobby fuckin' "Ohh... I'm a big boy now, ain't nobody got time for that" attitude to put others down as if to say you're so much better at life because you keep yourself so "busy" by doing "productive" things and seem to have boardroom meetings at every waking second of the day or something. That shit boils my blood.

You can be a workaholic and still have time for video games for crying out loud maybe not as much as when you were a teen but folks like that really need to take the rake out of their ass and lighten up.

[Wretchedest]

I keep expecting the stigma to arrive, now at age 27, married, with a career etc, but I have literally never encountered it.

[Iran_Ed]

Funny that you bring this up, after disclosing that I would be taking my niece and nephew to Gamestop earlier this week at work I got into a conversation with my co workers who are all over 40 about their former and current gaming habits. The oldest who is in her 60's talked about her experiences with Pong and Pac Man, and her grandchildren's love of games. Everything after SNES was too confusing to her. The next oldest (mid 50's) spoke about playing Playstation with his son. He has comprehension of what's happening but his son kicks his ass. He mentioned his father in law is an FPS nut. Our boss who's 41 played when she was younger and plays with her young nieces when she visits them. I have another co worker (42) who is that guy with no life and play Xbox all day. As for myself, I'm approaching 25 and I'm slowly pulling away. Not because I've outgrown gaming, but because it feels like gaming has outgrown me. Not just the games, but the way they're marketed just rubs me the wrong way. Triple A titles don't do anything for me. I've got GTA but... I love Assassin's Creed 2, but there are too many of them for me to keep up with. I love and will support for as long as I can smaller games. Go find the Journey thread, I was the one who was reduced to tears by it on my 23rd birthday. I feel that too many games try to give you that big budget action flick feeling, instead of focusing on the unique capabilities that games can offer. Sorry if this is off topic.

[screwdriver]

Interestingly I don't really mind playing really 'kiddie' games on occasion, particularly good platformers. Its games like Mortal Kombat (no offence Space Suicide!) that make me uncomfortable to be a gamer because there really is no reason for the OTT violence and bloodyness, its just presentation over a solid fighting engine. And thats not a 'I don't like violence in games' comment, I just want it to serve a purpose. I got a bit embarrassed playing Killzone Shadow Fall because the story is so dumb in places and completely at odds with what you are actually doing in the game.. Thats more the problem I have with games, and what a lot of older people respond to as they only really see the cutscenes in ads, they mostly seem like they have been written by b-list action movie writers. Its like endlessly watching bad cover versions of the Bourne Identity. Things like "looks at the blood, look at the smoke, look at the explosions" don't really have much of an impact of someone who doesn't want to explode people, but if that is all what is being promoted as gaming then of course people are going to think "maybe these 'games' aren't for me" and go back to playing Candy Crush whilst still saying "all games are for angry teenage boys"

man ... stories in video games are almost without so exception SO BAD that the only games I enjoy are the ones that are so cartoonishly over the top because that's what the medium seems to do best. And for me, in that sense, there's almost no difference between Mortal Kombat and Super Mario -- both of which I play and love.

[botley]

I enjoy the occasional video game, as do many of my friends. The only people I've seen express vocal disapproval of this hobby are somewhat older than me, perhaps in their mid-thirties or older, and who present a vague categorical misunderstanding of its age-appropriateness. That's hardly a 'stigma', and certainly not based in a rational appreciation of adult recreation taking different forms, which can diverge and co-exist. I do like to cite that speech by the crazy mustachioed dude from the start of The King of Kong in reference to whether the gaming community has sub-status in society: "everybody, even Grandma, games — meaning Checkers, cards... if not now, in the past... show me even a freakin' nun or a hermit who hasn't done cards or Checkers." It sure beats passively watching other grown humans playing a team sport on television.

[october_midnight]

As for myself, I'm approaching 25 and I'm slowly pulling away. Not because I've outgrown gaming, but because it feels like gaming has outgrown me. Not just the games, but the way they're marketed just rubs me the wrong way. Triple A titles don't do anything for me. I've got GTA but... I love Assassin's Creed 2, but there are too many of them for me to keep up with. I love and will support for as long as I can smaller games. Go find the Journey thread, I was the one who was reduced to tears by it on my 23rd birthday. I feel that too many games try to give you that big budget action flick feeling, instead of focusing on the unique capabilities that games can offer. Sorry if this is off topic.

Warning this will be longish... but, I feel you on this completely. For me personally, I'm kind of disenfranchised with the big games these days as well. They pump so much in to the graphics and whatnot that campaigns are like, 8 hours. When I was a kid, playing NES and SNES games, they'd take you months...years to beat. Simple, but effective. I know it's a mixture of this culture and generation being so jaded that nothing's ever good enough and it's a race to finish the game first (as if that means literally sweet fuck all), but games today hold your hand too much. People piss and moan when they're 'too hard'...fuck man, dig up an NES and play fuckin' Icarus. To this day I don't know anyone that could get past the first half of that motherfucker. You just had to keep playing, keep trying. I had friends who bought Super Mario Bros 3 and played that shit FOREVER...just happy to have it.

Also, you mentioned you're 25 and slowly pulling away. I'd say I started to get the same vibe around then...maybe even a little later. I got married, bought my first home recently, and when I play games now, it hits me sooner than it ever has. 'I've outgrown this. I'd rather be hanging out with my wife, maybe Kevin and Jenn (our best friend couple) just wanna hang out. Fuck it's nice out, why is my ass on the couch. Yeah these graphics are fuckin' great....who gives a shit.' For me I actually remember turning on my xbox a few months back and glancing at my gamerscore and it just hit me, 'this means nothing. what the fuck. i remember wasting time doing the dumbest shit....to get 10 gamerscore. fuck me sideways.'

I haven't seen much of the stigma, but I attribute it mostly to the fact that gaming is so big and it's such a money making machine, that other aspects of the industry drown out the naysayers. But I hear ya...I have a friend who's the same way. Sure he finished school and went to university...but a design/art university where he took fuckin' 2 classes a week, expecting to find something right away. Now he sits in his mom's basement, almost 30, and plays video games. We don't really hang out that much anymore (used to play Gears a lot) because as much as he tells me he's 'job hunting'....any...random...time...I go online....he's there. New Years. Christmas Eve. He's just doing that. I told him a while ago 'Man, I'm thinking more and more about how much time I've fuckin' wasted indoors instead of doing anything else...making memories...just thinkin' about mortality and what I wanna be thinking when I look back...that I played games forever?...your gamerscore is 2000 higher than mine...what does that do for your life? For the longest time, what did I have to show for it? A fuckin' gamerscore. Whoopie fuckin' ding'.

Do I hate on those that game a ton? Hell no, I probably sink in like 5-10 hours a week, which is bonkers now that I see it typed out. But people can have full careers and lives, and still game. When you think about it, it's cheaper than a lot of other hobbies. I remember someone posted a video where some reviewer guy said games should be cheaper. Nah. $60 is nothing if you get 10 hours out of it, gaming is actually pretty smart financially...you could be out doing something else and easily spend way more in less the time. Personally, I've just become like I said, more disenfranchised with it as I've gotten older...not because people that are older can't do whatever the shit they want...just that some people's priorities change. I have a family to take care of and a mortgage. If it comes down to taking care of my wife or dropping another grand on my mortgage, or getting the super duper collector's edition of something that's gonna sit on a shelf, it's kind of a no-brainer.

How's that for going off topic? lol

[Fixer808]

I enjoy it because some of my favourite games (Half Life, HL2, Elder Scrolls series) are like playing a movie. Like I said, I've been rocking Skyrim lately, and it's GORGEOUS, I love being able to immerse myself in it and have fun.

[Fixer808]

When I was a kid, playing NES and SNES games, they'd take you months...years to beat. Simple, but effective.
Zelda 1 and 2 on NES, bro... I STILL, to this fucking day, have never finished Zelda 2.

[october_midnight]

Zelda 1 and 2 on NES, bro... I STILL, to this fucking day, have never finished Zelda 2.

I don't even think it's beatable lol. That and Castlevania II...oh, and the Spider-Man game from SNES...Maximum Carnage or something? The red cartridge one. The bane of my existence as a kid. Unbeatable.

[Fixer808]

MAXIMUM... FUCKING... CARNAGE. Yeah man, fuck that shit, but it was fun. I think I borrowed it from someone. But for Genesis, I never played SNES except for if I rented one for the weekend or went to a friend's place. Super Star Wars/Empire/Jedi FTW.

[Space Suicide]

Fixer808 october_midnight

No fuck this

http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/gng/ghostsngoblinsnes.jpg

[Fixer808]

Heard of it but never played it. But if it's anything like Wardner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEClHhd9ieU), then fuck it in its unbeatable face!

[xmd 5a]

I play video games regularly (but don't really identify as a "gamer" or part of the "gaming community" anymore) and I haven't experienced any stigma about it since high school (which is probably because games were all I talked about back then...)

I'm married and have a kid (#2 on the way). I actually find it decreases stigma. "I've been playing [x] and my wife has really gotten into [y]" and "I'm playing through Mario with my daughter" are pretty good adult 'excuses'. I don't really talk about games with people who aren't interested in them anyway. I'm more likely to geek out about music these days.

[rhet]

i've actually been more drawn to games as I get older..I was never allowed to play them growing up (VIDEOGAMES ROT YOUR BRAIN!) and FPS/action/fighting type things have never really appealed to me. Then I discovered Skyrim and more story telling type games which I love. I figure its not any worse than sitting and watching a boxset or netflix for hours which seems to be perfectly acceptable these days.

Now most of my friends play at least a bit so theres not really any stigma among us however I have gotten some weird looks/comments from co-workers at my old job and my family still don't really approve. To this day they gives me funny looks when i ask for games for my birthday/christmas though and last year they assumed the game on my Christmas list was supposed to be for my husband.

[frankie teardrop]

Zelda 1 and 2 on NES, bro... I STILL, to this fucking day, have never finished Zelda 2.

zelda 2 is totally beatable. jury's still out on ghosts and goblins, though...

i generally stick to playing old SNES/NES classics, including ones i missed out on back in the day. it's all i have time for.

[screwdriver]

I've encountered way more stigma about liking nine inch nails as much as I do more than playing video games…

[staleincense]

I don't think there really is much of a stigma held by anyone under the age of about 40 to video games anymore, it's just that the mainstream media is way behind the times when it comes to it, really. I'm 17 and I don't really play games anymore but that's mainly because there isn't really much that interests me as opposed to me thinking I'm too good for it, if anything, I'd like to be able to get more into it again.

[mfte]

If there is any stigma it might be coming from the older 50+ generation BUT most of the guys I work with who are 35+ with kids play tons of online games. I think that being from the video game generation it is far more acceptable. I think if I didnt have music or a girlfriend I would be gaming... but there just isnt enough time for it I find.

[cahernandez]

It sure beats passively watching other grown humans playing a team sport on television.

You must not have felt the thrill of enjoying the World Cup with other people. I traveled to South Africa 4 years ago for the WC and it was a complete blast. Even when I was not in a stadium watching a game live, I would be in bars/hostels following a match and the whole atmosphere was that of a big party. Breaking the ice then was so easy, we all had soccer in common. I'm thankful for growing up in a place that's passionate about soccer.

[sorry for going off topic]. On topic: the last console I had was the Nintendo 64 (the other one I had was the Game Boy). I remember enjoying Golden Eye, Shadows of the Empire and the Zelda: Ocarina of Time A LOT (and the FIFA games, of course). But I grew up and I found my interests elsewhere. Now I barely even have time for TV (granted, the last time I was following a show was The Simpsons, I stopped watching TV when I was 18 -The Simpsons are awesome-). Now the only times I find myself in front of a TV is when I watch my music DVDs/Blu Rays (latest addition: One Mile High by Garbage). I don't know man, I find myself doing other stuff filling up my time (ie. I get more out of reading a book than watching TV/playing a game), and like october midnight mentioned, I rather be outside than inside. But this is just me.

[october_midnight]

You must not have felt the thrill of enjoying the World Cup with other people. I traveled to South Africa 4 years ago for the WC and it was a complete blast. Even when I was not in a stadium watching a game live, I would be in bars/hostels following a match and the whole atmosphere was that of a big party. Breaking the ice then was so easy, we all had soccer in common. I'm thankful for growing up in a place that's passionate about soccer.

Same pretty much goes for any major sporting event. Having been to at least 1 game for every major North American sport (NFL, NBA, MBL, NHL) I can definitely vouch that being in an atmosphere like that with your friends or loved ones pretty much trumps any Saturday night on your couch shooting people in Call of Duty. And as for just watching it on tv, I don't know about everyone else, but sure I'll watch the odd Canucks or NFL game alone, but usually it's with a big group of other people with food and drinks and I always have a blast. Especially Super Bowl...that shit's a riot.

[SarahConnor]

The only stigma I accuse 'gamers' is World of Warcraft, Dota, Etc. gamers.

[MrsMeowMeow]

I personally experienced less bad stuff the older I got. As a little girl other girls thought it was only for boys/nerds (yes, it was still a bad thing at that time) and would make fun of me for having a gameboy and playstation, so I wouldn't tell anyone usually about my most time consuming hobby until some years ago, when it became more and more popular. Also I suppose I care less about other people nowadays.

Each to their own. I wouldn't make fun of anyone for doing what makes them happy, if its knitting all the time, reading all the time, watching tv all the time or gaming all the time, I see no difference.

[SM Rollinger]

Nobody ever gives me a hard time, but ill admit I rarely ever talk about my video gaming habits. Every day, at least a couple hours. Sometimes 10+ on Saturday and Sunday (each day.)

Shit there is just so many good games coming out and they arent going to play themselfs!

But in all honesty, ive always been a gamer and a loner. I did play Magic: The Gathering for awhile during my more sociable days, but I dropped that a couple years ago when I realized there was no skill left in it any more and I was winning 98% of the games against my friends. I would just get a deck concept, usually scary (monstrous creatures re-animated from the graveyard, discard, direct damage, remove all your stuff from the game, ect...) and I would build the deck around doing that concept within a couple turns, and BAM! Beatdown city! We still play sometimes though, deal out cards at random from my collection and build decks draft style.

[Halo Infinity]

I suppose what I'm looking for won't be easy even if there are adults that still play video games. I only had one close friend that was willing to do that regularly with me, but we have grown apart a few years ago. I didn't realize how hard that was to find. I just wanted to find a way to socialize indoors with somebody else, or a few people to play video games with, surf the Internet with, or watching DVDs with. I get how and why sometimes video games and socializing doesn't seem to mix since it seems like most people would rather go outside or travel somewhere.

(And not that I'm against going outside and traveling, but it seems like most people's idea of a good time hanging out with others is to not stay inside and play video games, even if it's with other people. However, to those of you that have circles of friends that do play video games with you, I find you to be very fortunate. Oh, and it looks like most people don't just want to chill at other people's houses that way either, even when it comes to not playing video games.)

As for other stereotypes I've read in other places on the Internet, there's also the stereotype that gaming is immature, or that if you play video games, you don't have a life. And as mentioned, I don't think it should be a problem as long as your gaming doesn't take over every aspect of your life.

[Jinsai]

zelda 2 is totally beatable. jury's still out on ghosts and goblins, though...

I've got the PS3 trophy to prove I beat Ghosts n Goblins, woo hoo. I actually beat it twice in a row because at the end of the first completion it pulls this bullshit "play through the game again to get the real ending" thing. The real ending is about as exciting as being told to play through it again though, so...

I never understood why people think Zelda 2 is so hard. The final dungeon and boss fight are a little tricky, but it's far from the hardest old school challenge I've seen. Try Gun.Smoke if you want to lose your mind, or the original Ninja Gaiden for NES. The final level in that is insane.

[frankie teardrop]

agreed. ninja gaiden and castlevania III are two of the hardest NES games that i've actually beaten, and there are plenty of others that are harder than zelda II.

i've beaten demon's crest for SNES. the company who made ghosts and goblins is notorious for every game in the series being incredibly, INCREDIBLY difficult.

[rhet]

I just wanted to find a way to socialize indoors with somebody else, or a few people to play video games with, surf the Internet with, or watching DVDs with.

I'm annoyed at how few games seem to have local multiplayer (at least games I like). If anyone can recommend something good that isn't just a FPS I'll love you forever.

[Jinsai]

I'm annoyed at how few games seem to have local multiplayer (at least games I like). If anyone can recommend something good that isn't just a FPS I'll love you forever.

Just type in the system you're looking to play on, and it should give you a list of local (couch) co-op games (http://www.co-optimus.com/games.php?type=couch), along with a blurb about how good they are. It really all comes down to what you and your friends are into though. Just specify that you're looking for "couch co-op"

I'd recommend taking a look at Dragon's Crown

[Halo Infinity]

I can see why video games can cause people to stay inside and alone, but I noticed how it's also barely mentioned when it comes to playing video games with other people. Video games are one of the best ways to be social and indoors at the same time, but I can see why it's obviously hard to find that social interaction if most of the people you're around aren't into video games, or even aren't into the same video games you like. Some of my best moments at home were playing with 3 other players on Nintendo 64, Nintendo GameCube, and the Nintendo Wii. (I've been a Nintendo fan all my life.)

I can also see why that would be considered more normal, and would be far more expected of children and teenagers though. To also put my question in another way, is it really that hard to find 20-somethings going to each others' homes to play video games?

(I just want to be sure that I got that right, since it seemed uncommon from what I've noticed in real life. Most people I know go as far as online play most of the time, but that's it. Anything else leads to going outside and traveling.) Aside from all that, I really miss doing that with my friend. We'd just play video games, and then order food, or just eat out and/or buy food when we actually went out. It was really that simple and convenient.

[rhet]

Just type in the system you're looking to play on, and it should give you a list of local (couch) co-op games (http://www.co-optimus.com/games.php?type=couch), along with a blurb about how good they are. It really all comes down to what you and your friends are into though. Just specify that you're looking for "couch co-op"

I'd recommend taking a look at Dragon's Crown

Thanks for the suggestion but I've looked through that site before and never really found anything I wanted so either I'm too picky or the games I like don't suit co-op. Ah well.

[Jinsai]

Thanks for the suggestion but I've looked through that site before and never really found anything I wanted so either I'm too picky or the games I like don't suit co-op. Ah well.

Well.. what kind of game are you looking for?

[rhet]

Well.. what kind of game are you looking for?

I guess part of the problem is that I'm not entirely sure. Maybe something like mass effect but multiplayer? I'm newish/a more casual type gamer but the things I've played and liked are skyrim, mass effect, dishonored, the new tomb raider, the walking dead game, state of decay, forza, assassins creed...

[liquidcalm]

the best co-op games I've played with my wife lately are Spelunky, Minecraft, Lego Marvel and Pixeljunk Monsters.
However she's just gotten into Dragon Age, so its back to the Vita for me.

[Jinsai]

I guess part of the problem is that I'm not entirely sure. Maybe something like mass effect but multiplayer? I'm newish/a more casual type gamer but the things I've played and liked are skyrim, mass effect, dishonored, the new tomb raider, the walking dead game, state of decay, forza, assassins creed...

Well, Mass Effect 3 does have a multiplayer mode, but it's nothing to get terribly excited about.

I know you said you weren't interested in a FPS, but have you tried Borderlands? It's not a traditional shooter, and it's all about the cooperative multiplayer. Also, everyone should play Portal 2, especially now that it's so cheap. If you can play the co-op mode with someone else who's never played it, it's pretty incredible.

I'd assume you'd tried the Gears of War games. If you have a PS3, Little Big Planet is a great local co-op game, despite how cutesy it may seem from a distance.

[Space Suicide]

^ Great recommendations above!

[WorzelG]

My sister was shocked when she saw me play Wolfenstein 3D - no amount of, well, they're just pixels on a screen, and they're Nazi pixels to boot, would reassure her I didn't harbour secret killing spree desires (well I can't say I've never had slight desires like this when commuting into London to work)

[icecream]

If you are older (35+) there might be a stigma among people in your age group, but not so much among younger people. I'm in my early 20's and almost everyone I know games. Some people think it's weird that I'm only a causal gamer. I think once people in my age group reach 35+ it will be even more accepted as a normal hobby. If you are an adult who games, you won't be seen as a old neck bearded virgin who lives in your mother's basement by anyone. My step dad is really into gaming, he also has a wife, house and successful career.

[Millionaire]

I don't think I really experienced this. Most adult-age people I know play little iphone/android games, so games are pretty acceptable to them even if they don't it as a regular hobby. I've seen one guy sort of get cold-shouldered for it, but only because he seems a bit off in his social skills and happen to play lots of games. Nobody overtly messes with him- he's just a very awkward-speaking guy at work who talks about games more often than not, and people go "Uhhh, sure, man. I got work to do" and leave. I kind of feel for the guy, and I don't mind his awkwardness so I talk about games with him occasionally.

[Halo Infinity]

There was one more thing I forgot to bring up, and well, I suppose it's been happening for almost as long as video games has been around. It seems like a lot of parents and teachers still speak negatively about video games. However, I could obviously also still see why and how that is, and why and how that could be. Anyway, this is more of an observation, if anything. I just wanted to get that out there, because I noticed that it's still happening a lot even though adults playing video games has clearly become more of the norm these days.

I'm also sorry if I've already mentioned this as my memory has been failing me again.

[sin]

I'm surprised a stigma exists, I used to work in an IT University dept, so everyone played games but now I'm in a none IT company people still play games - I suppose there is a divide in that those below 30 all seem to play, those over less so.


What about the stigma of adults playing boardgames? Video games seem accepted in adulthood yet boardgames, which can be seen as a lot more sociable since you tend to play them in the same room at same time, are less so. I remember buying the 2001 German boardgame Mull+Money that has a NIN logo, Sin single logo, Reprise Records logo on the boards & box - how many video games have that :D