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View Full Version : The Non-Drinker/Smoker Thread or What do drinkers really think of non-drinkers?



Halo Infinity
09-21-2013, 12:00 AM
What made you quit drinking/smoking? What made you choose to not start drinking/smoking? I also bring this up because I have a hard time understanding why some drinkers don't like being around non-drinkers. Of course, if the non-drinker was to get all preachy, derogatory, judgmental, and pompous, I could see that, but if that's not the case, why is it such a problem? And from the looks if it, it seems like some drinkers wouldn't want to be around quiet people too. Is it really because they believe that quiet people can't be trusted, especially when they're sober due to harboring secrets and telling lies? That was another argument I came across aside from non-drinkers being a buzzkills, control freaks, or complete and utter bores.

And I feel like it's bad to impose on either side. I didn't go around telling people to stop drinking, and I'm actually not a teetotaler at this point of my life either, but I also didn't feel compelled to convert everybody into drinkers the same way I don't try to convert vegetarians/vegans into eating meat. I even feel the same way about them too. As long as they're not condemning me and ridiculing me for eating meat, I could be cool with them too. I also hope I didn't offend any drinkers here. I'm all for your right to drink as much as you please, like how I'm for a vegetarian/vegan to abstain from as much meat and animal products as they please despite how much I love beef. And even if I was a teetotaler, I'd do a thing called mind my damn business.

This topic has always piqued my curiosity ever since I was ragged on for not drinking by drinkers. And while I'm not a teetotaler at this point of my life, my lifestyle is a straight-edge kind of lifestyle in a way. There was even a woman I liked that refused to explain why me not drinking was a problem. She just assumed that I was judging her even when I didn't say anything bad to her. Me not smoking made her feel bad too.

I think this could also be a non-smoker thread as well. Oh, and since I changed my mind far too late on including the word smoker, the drinking and smoking parts could be interchangeable here. :p

Leviathant
09-21-2013, 10:00 AM
I don't smoke because my mom was a nurse and because I'm a cheapskate. I don't drink because I'm a cheapskate, and getting drunk doesn't actually make me feel good. As a non-drinker (with the exception of having a Guiness on Friday at lunch, because I ironically get free drinks at work) I find beer/booze culture extraordinarily tiring, and see alcoholism a very prevalent... thing. Anyone who tells you that a non-drinker is a buzzkill, a bore, or a control freak, is projecting their own desire to control, their own insecurity about being boring, and clearly they're killing any fun you're having. I'm 33, and I think everyone I knew who was like that has been filtered out of my life by now, either through social decisions, or through high speed collisions.

A few years ago, word came through Facebook that two guys I went to high school with were killed in a high-speed car accidenton the way back from a bachelor party for one of them. They were always kind of douchey, and fuck them for getting totally shitfaced 60 miles away from home (because you gotta party before you're locked down to the ball and chain, bro!) and deciding to drive themselves back. I'm just glad they didn't take anyone else out when they careened off the highway.

As a non-drinker, I am always happy to take the keys. I've driven the van for two bachelor parties for friends. Just the other week, I had thrown a big bash, and one of my central PA friends was completely smashed, and someone saw him walking to his car. I caught up with him, and drove him to my house where he slept it off. It was my 10th anniversary party, but I'll put that aside if it means I can keep one more drunk driver off the road. (Again, this guy was over 120 miles away from home, having trouble stringing words together, and he's old enough to fucking know better)

I generally don't make a big deal out of not drinking. If anyone gives me a hard time about drinking (and that almost never happens anymore), I let them buy me drinks that I pour onto the floor, or into other people's drinks. People used to buy me shots when I drummed in a punk band, and I'd whip em over my shoulder, miming as though I was drinking them down.
I'd like to start telling people I'm a recovering alcoholic if they bug me about it - but again, most people don't anymore. That's probably because I don't generally hang out with college-age people.

When I take month-long trips to Australia or roadtrips around the US, and people ask me how I can afford it, my go-to is that I don't drink or smoke. It's incredible to me what people will spend on drinks when they go out.

I do think there'd be far fewer assaults, rapes, murders, and so forth, if it weren't for the prevalence of cheap alcohol, but things like that just aren't even worth philosophizing about in western civilization. It's not going to happen, and even if it were to happen, it would be driven by the wrong kind of people (see also: American prohibition)

Edit: Oh yeah, even though I don't 'do drugs' or smoke, and only a few years ago started the 'have a drink at lunch on Friday' thing, I would like to point out that I have never ever called nor considered myself straightedge.

october_midnight
09-21-2013, 10:09 AM
I don't smoke, but I drink regularly. I'm also not dependent upon it, which is, as Levi stated in a far more eloquent way, a great way to save money. I do a lot of my drinking at home or at my in-laws (there every Sunday for football and whatever) and even then, it's usually red wine or the occasional beer. I'm also not talking getting trashed all the time. As the body gets older, alcohol is one of the biggest kicks in the balls hangover-wise. If I occasionally do have too much, at a birthday or something...fuck my life I'm hungover for like 2.5 days. Definintely not worth it, and with the ever-increasing bills and expenses I have to deal with, it'd be a shame if I tossed a shit ton of money towards booze.

The first thing that goes through my mind whenever I actually am out and order my wife and I a drink or two...and see the bill for $40 or something is 'Christ, I could've had an entire bottle of decent wine for this'.

binaryhermit
09-21-2013, 10:27 AM
I never felt the need to smoke and I stopped drinking because it was too expensive for me and didn't really do much for me. At this point, with the medications I'm on, it really wouldn't mix well with alcohol, so I really can't drink anyway.

AgentofChaos
09-21-2013, 12:40 PM
I recently quit smoking not necessarily because I wanted to, I love it and always will, but because I have a significant other whom I love with all my heart and a family (no kids yet, maybe, maybe not) and I decided it was time to put my heath first. I still miss it, and may have a cigarette or two on the off evening if it calls for it, but even if I never have another smoke for the next 100 years I will always be a smoker. Just one that doesn't smoke. I simply want to live as long a life as possible so I can grow old with her and take care of her when she needs me too. I also want to be in better shape so I can do more and be more productive in our current lives. If she passes before me, after 50+ years of non smoking, the first thing I'd do, when I could muster it, is go and buy a pack of smokes as sad as that might be.

I don't really drink alcohol much anymore, I had an ulcer a while back, probably due to chronic drinking (5-6 nights a week at the pub for many years straight), and it just doesn't process well anymore, specifically beer. On a rare occasion I'll still have one or two with an old friend, but any more than that and I am asking for trouble with my stomach. If I go to the bar for a night or to a concert/club show, I will drink rye and gingers. They go down much easier. I do enjoy those nights, but they only come around a few nights a years now and I'm usually rolling without the lady so jd or cc = a bit of a harmless escape for me I suppose, plus especially when it involves music I do get a bit nostalgic going back to my live music days.

If we have a nice dinner or I have a cocktail type function I will drink red wine. I definitely appreciate a nice bottle of vino. When we want to spend a nice romantic evening alone, we'll go and get some nice bread, cheeses, and cured meats and make a platter, pour some wine, etc. We munch and get a buzz, throw some music on and have some fine slightly drunken sex. It's about as wild as we get and even that isn't a very regular occurrence.

It's funny though for as much as I've probably drank in my life I've never had an issue with alcohol, outside of my stomach. If I never had another drop I don't think I'd miss it terribly, unlike the cigarettes. As I try and shave pointless expenses out of my life so I can pay down my debt and get some freedom financially, alcohol is definitely one of the things to go first. Although when it comes to the cigarettes its funny. Everyone always use to say "think about how much money you would save if you quit" blah blah blah and extrapolate out how much extra cash I would have had after 10 years of smoking. You mean I could have bought a ferrari? Oh yeah? Well where's your fuckin ferrari, bitch? Ha. Not that I'd want one anyways, but you get my point. I haven't noticed much extra coin in my pocket as a result. I wasn't a pack a day smoker but still. That extra 50-80 bucks a month finds its way to be spent on other silent things, believe me. Difference is if you are a big drinker, that could be 200-400 a month, which I'm pretty sure I would notice. I'm a tall guy and it takes me a good hundred bucks minimum to get wasted at the bar these days. If I went out once a week as many I know do, I'd be fucked now. I don't know how they do it, to be honest.

I had my drug phases and those are pretty much over too, maybe once a year or something I may do a bump. And even that is something I will try to avoid if possible. I still tend to always keep some pot on hand, and I will enjoy smoking that till the day I die. But I work a job with a fucked up hours, and it was really effecting my diet and making me eat like shit. It's been a bit hard breaking the connection between pot and food for me as I try eat smarter and healthier. So I've kind of put the pot on the back burner, and have been smoking a lot less, until I get my diet straight. I use it more as a late night treat when I go on walks with our dogs instead of as a meal enhancer, etc.

At the end of the day, I don't care if you drink, or smoke, or do drugs, or don't do anything. If you are a good person with interesting things to say and love to spread in the world, I'll enjoy being around you. If you are a douchebag who makes the world a worst place to be, drunk or sober, then I have no time for you. Sure in my experiences I've noticed that the more people enjoy alcohol the more mean spirited they can be, and I have a ton of traits, good and bad, which I can associate with smokers too, but they are all very general and it wouldn't be right of me to throw those on to people I don't know. I will laugh and say that I've never particularly enjoyed straight edge people, not necessarily because they aren't getting fucked up, but because they usually tend to be heavily into religion, or look around at what they are seeing and act disgusted with the world, instead of simply understanding a lot of people have problems and this is, right or wrong, how they choose to deal with them and judging them isn't going to help the situation, it's only going to make you have a shittier time.

Halo Infinity
09-21-2013, 12:55 PM
Oh, I just wanted to point out that it's like I could be straight-edge. (Not that anybody has been calling me that. I just wanted to clarify what I meant by that in case I was misunderstood.) I'm neither straight-edge or religious in actuality. Besides, even if I don't smoke, and don't drink regularly, I still have a lot of unhealthy habits that wouldn't give me any room to judge. (Not that I should judge people over such things to start with.) For instance, overeating is one of my worst addictive vices ever, right up there with sugar and caffeine.

binaryhermit
09-21-2013, 01:02 PM
overeating is one of my worst addictive vices ever, right up there with sugar and caffeine.
Right there with you, though I've mostly cut out the caffeine.

AgentofChaos
09-21-2013, 02:56 PM
Actually the worst addiction I have which will be harder to quit than anything in the history of the world for me will be Diet Coke/Coke Zero. If I even could Id probably become an alcoholic cause I'd drink wine with every meal instead.

The shit is toxic but my body actually needs it. I can't function without it. It's fucked up.

xmd 5a
09-22-2013, 03:48 AM
I've had 2 cigarettes in my life- after the first my throat was sore (I was probably doing something wrong) and after the second I felt nauseous and dizzy for hours. Obviously smoking's not for me.

I've had an on/off relationship with alcohol since I started drinking (under parental supervision) at 15. I got to the point of near-dependence at around 18/19. The only thing that held me back from getting completely hammered every night were the nasty hangovers I got the morning after and the desire to be somewhat productive at Uni/work. I've got stress/anxiety issues and alcohol helped me bury those feelings for a few hours at a time. The turning point for me to (near) sobriety was when my wife (then girlfriend) got pregnant. We both quit for the duration of the pregnancy. My daughter is now 2 and in that time I've spent less on alcohol than I used to in a month. I haven't been drunk at all since 2010. I came pretty close to falling off the wagon late last year (the Christmas period was a bit of a rollercoaster) but have now gone completely dry again. We've got another kid on the way, so all the more reason for me to keep straight.

I'm not a judgmental person at all. I've got my personal reasons for avoiding smoking/boozing but I don't feel anything negative towards those that partake. Whatever floats one's boat. I'm not a fan of the industries and many of their practices, but I'm not about to argue for prohibition or anything.

Edit: I kind of left this out of my first writeup because I didn't want to come across as blaming anyone but myself for my problem drinking, but me trying to keep up with my older and more alcohol-tolerant step-brothers was what made me become more irresponsible in my drinking habits. My parents were great about introducing me to alcohol sensibly when I became curious and I'll probably try a similar thing with my children when/if they start to become curious. As a comparison, none of my 3 siblings are especially interested in alcohol nowadays at all.
-

I too am a massive caffeine addict. The longest I've been without a single caffeinated beverage in recent memory is about 36 hours. By hour 24 I had an unbearable headache and felt extremely irritable. Don't know how I'm kicking this habit...

Halo Infinity
09-22-2013, 05:18 PM
I don't smoke because my mom was a nurse and because I'm a cheapskate. I don't drink because I'm a cheapskate, and getting drunk doesn't actually make me feel good. As a non-drinker (with the exception of having a Guiness on Friday at lunch, because I ironically get free drinks at work) I find beer/booze culture extraordinarily tiring, and see alcoholism a very prevalent... thing.

I could definitely understand that. If it's not for you, it simply isn't for you. I also saw it like preferences with foods or others drinks, or just differing interests in general. To each their own.


Anyone who tells you that a non-drinker is a buzzkill, a bore, or a control freak, is projecting their own desire to control, their own insecurity about being boring, and clearly they're killing any fun you're having.
This would have to include their claims on non-drinkers being liars to then. They believe that only drunk people tell the truth, and that if you're a non-drinker, that automatically means you're hiding something.


A few years ago, word came through Facebook that two guys I went to high school with were killed in a high-speed car accidenton the way back from a bachelor party for one of them. They were always kind of douchey, and fuck them for getting totally shitfaced 60 miles away from home (because you gotta party before you're locked down to the ball and chain, bro!) and deciding to drive themselves back. I'm just glad they didn't take anyone else out when they careened off the highway.
This reminds me of another expression that seems to be used a lot by people that love to constantly party hard and get shitfaced as much as possible.

"If you don't do anything stupid while you're young, you'll have nothing to to smile about when you're old."

Or... you can have your life ended sooner than you think. I'd feel the same way as you did if it were me too.


As a non-drinker, I am always happy to take the keys. I've driven the van for two bachelor parties for friends. Just the other week, I had thrown a big bash, and one of my central PA friends was completely smashed, and someone saw him walking to his car. I caught up with him, and drove him to my house where he slept it off. It was my 10th anniversary party, but I'll put that aside if it means I can keep one more drunk driver off the road. (Again, this guy was over 120 miles away from home, having trouble stringing words together, and he's old enough to fucking know better)
The mere thought of that was far too insane and out there to me. He's very lucky to have a friend like you.


I generally don't make a big deal out of not drinking. If anyone gives me a hard time about drinking (and that almost never happens anymore), I let them buy me drinks that I pour onto the floor, or into other people's drinks. People used to buy me shots when I drummed in a punk band, and I'd whip em over my shoulder, miming as though I was drinking them down.
That hasn't happened to me either, since I haven't been working with a majority of co-workers that were obsessed with partying and getting shitfaced. Oh, and thank you so much for giving me those ideas in a way. If that ever happens to me again, and it gets really that irritating, I will definitely do what you did whenever you were pressured, harassed, or heckled for not drinking. Hopefully, this will still never be an issue, but is worse comes to worst, I'm doing just that.


I'd like to start telling people I'm a recovering alcoholic if they bug me about it - but again, most people don't anymore. That's probably because I don't generally hang out with college-age people.
And perhaps it wasn't a coincidence that the majority of them were college-aged as well. I noticed that most people seem to slowly but surely put a stop to that lifestyle once they get into their late 20s and early 30s, and it most cases, it's usually done over by the mid 30s at the latest. (As there are some exceptions, since I've also seen people in their late 20s and 30s still into partying and getting shitfaced as if they're under 25.)


When I take month-long trips to Australia or roadtrips around the US, and people ask me how I can afford it, my go-to is that I don't drink or smoke. It's incredible to me what people will spend on drinks when they go out.
For real, that same woman I was talking about told me that told me that she spends literally hundreds of dollars on alcohol. To add a little more detail to her interests, she tends to go to nightclubs almost every Friday and Saturday night or at the very least a couple of times a month, yet complains about being broke. (Which I'd get, but aside from the alcohol, clubs sure don't come cheap.)


I do think there'd be far fewer assaults, rapes, murders, and so forth, if it weren't for the prevalence of cheap alcohol, but things like that just aren't even worth philosophizing about in western civilization. It's not going to happen, and even if it were to happen, it would be driven by the wrong kind of people (see also: American prohibition)
I remember Bill Hicks actually saying that about alcohol too, which was kind of interesting considering how he did hard drugs.


Edit: Oh yeah, even though I don't 'do drugs' or smoke, and only a few years ago started the 'have a drink at lunch on Friday' thing, I would like to point out that I have never ever called nor considered myself straightedge.
As do I. You post was a real breath of fresh air regarding this topic. I'm thankful that I'm not alone here. (Not that I was ever completely alone, but it sucks being misunderstood, especially just because I'm not really into drinking.) So yes, your understanding is very much appreciated. :D

It's also screwed up that some people wouldn't even consider to befriend or date a non-drinker, or just as screwed up knowing that you could lose friends for quitting smoking and/or drinking.


I'm 33, and I think everyone I knew who was like that has been filtered out of my life by now, either through social decisions, or through high speed collisions.
Aren't some people also friends just because of the drinking and smoking? If so, I suppose that's one of those cases where truth can be stranger than fiction. It just really boggles the mind knowing that they wouldn't be able to stand each other, or simply not care to be around each other if one or the other didn't, or stopped smoking and/or drinking. It really just sounds like bullshit to me.

-Edit-

I also noticed how some drinkers also hate it when non-drinkers remember everything. Well, to put the shoe on the other foot, wouldn't that make it look like they have something to hide too? :p

playwithfire
09-22-2013, 06:54 PM
I don't drink (much, at all) because alcohol makes me feel really shitty. I get effects really quickly and it's a lot of tiredness and clumsiness and a foggy head and my coordination/vision/hearing goes to shit. With like none of the fun stuff. Which sucks, because I do like most alcoholic drinks, but I have to moderate myself or I end up feeling like crap. Even if I'm only having one or two, I have to space that shit out. :(

That said, yeah, I find the culture that exists around drinking to be a little frustrating sometimes. But, if people are having a good time and they don't become assholes, I don't mind. There have definitely been some incidents of drunk boyfriend/sober playwithfire, where I was like SIGH YOU'RE DRUNK and I'm not and SIGH, but he moderates that shit fairly well usually and if he's having a good time, fine by me.

Space Suicide
09-22-2013, 07:12 PM
I loathe alcohol and the general effects it has on most people. I also don't smoke but don't get mad or upset about it being around me either. I can't really grasp the general consensus of people that love, love, love to drink alcohol. I'm talking the fucks that drink it non-chalantly and like its fucking water. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

theimage13
09-22-2013, 08:27 PM
Smoking: I don't smoke, and I don't understand why anyone ever would. There are NO benefits whatsoever (unless you count the effect of it calming you...because you're withdrawing from your last one). It sucks away assloads of money. Aside from being extremely unhealthy, it makes you smell like shit and generally pisses off any non-smokers anywhere near you - even outside. When "friends" tried to peer pressure me into smoking in middle school, I dropped them faster than my college typography class. On dating sites, I've been one click away from sending a message to someone who seems like my dream woman, only to see "Smokes: yes" written in their profile. I immediately hide them.

Drinking: I drink, but I don't "drink" - if that makes sense. I absolutely hated my first sip of beer (at age 20), but my older brother and best friend were both "beer geeks" who introduced me to the world of craft beer. I love trying new beers of almost all styles, but very much in moderation. I've accidentally gone past my tolerance - which is extremely low - just a couple of times. It sucked so much. I've never passed out/blacked out, but even just the spinning/dizzy feeling from drinking too much is absolutely awful. I hate it. And not being in total control of my body, both physically and mentally, is a disconcerting thought. There are so many beers that I love the taste of, but can only share them with friends. Take Alesmith's Speedway Stout, for example. Only sold in 750ml bottles (think wine bottle), and just as alcoholic (about 12% ABV, I think). If I drank the whole thing, I'd be dizzy as fuck and would quite likely end up puking my guts out. But I love the taste of it; it's something I love to sip on as a dessert once, maybe twice a year.

One of my best friends doesn't drink. Period. Never has, and never will. If you ask him about it, he just shrugs and says "yeah, I'm weird like that". But if you get to know him, he'll open up and talk about his family history, how he's seen it ruin too many peoples' lives, and that he doesn't want to risk it. And then he'll drop it. If we watch a game together, he doesn't say a word if I want to have a drink (which I usually don't, just out of solidarity). Heck, he even came to Oktoberfest with me because he still likes the other aspects of it. But unless someone's being a drunk fuck, he won't actively speak out against it and doesn't discourage his friends from partaking. He's super respectful of others' choices as long as those people aren't harming themselves or others.

henryeatscereal
09-22-2013, 09:14 PM
I don't drink/smoke, don't care about it... my vices are music, comics and movies, i wouldn't change neither of them for a cheap beer or some cigarette packs...

GibbonBlack
09-22-2013, 09:51 PM
I quit smoking last year and quit drinking 7 days ago. The last two days were pretty hard but I had a friend taking my mind off of it. These have been the first two nights in a row with no work and no drinking in about 4 years. It feels odd, but good

aggroculture
09-22-2013, 10:17 PM
Interesting to see how many non-drinkers on ets.
We had a similar conversation going at some point:

http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/937-Sober-However-you-got-there-whatever-keeps-you-here?highlight=drinking

Halo Infinity
09-22-2013, 11:52 PM
@aggroculture (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=318) - That really was a good read. I could've tried to use the word sober in the search function and Google, but just had the word non-drinker in mind at the time, and just ended up thinking about non-smoking and non-smokers too.


I don't drink (much, at all) because alcohol makes me feel really shitty. I get effects really quickly and it's a lot of tiredness and clumsiness and a foggy head and my coordination/vision/hearing goes to shit. With like none of the fun stuff. Which sucks, because I do like most alcoholic drinks, but I have to moderate myself or I end up feeling like crap. Even if I'm only having one or two, I have to space that shit out. :(
I just had an obvious hunch that it just doesn't affect everybody in exactly the same way. I was told that happiness, pleasure, and relaxation was always guaranteed.


That said, yeah, I find the culture that exists around drinking to be a little frustrating sometimes. But, if people are having a good time and they don't become assholes, I don't mind. There have definitely been some incidents of drunk boyfriend/sober Lydia, where I was like SIGH YOU'RE DRUNK and I'm not and SIGH, but he moderates that shit fairly well usually and if he's having a good time, fine by me.
My thoughts exactly as well. As long as they're not giving me any shit, I'm good.


I loathe alcohol and the general effects it has on most people. I also don't smoke but don't get mad or upset about it being around me either. I can't really grasp the general consensus of people that love, love, love to drink alcohol. I'm talking the fucks that drink it non-chalantly and like its fucking water. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
In that case, I'd at least hope that they were happy drunks. Oh yes, what you said also reminds me of alcoholics claiming that it tastes delicious at a certain point. So perhaps, they not only get accustomed to the taste, but end up loving it too? It's just a guess, since I've met drinkers that also ended up liking the taste in addition to getting drunk. Some of them also hate the taste and drink for the affect. (Which is obviously to be expected.)

MrsMeowMeow
09-23-2013, 05:52 AM
I don't smoke, never had the desire to. I think smoking looks pretty cool in movies and in pictures, but its not worth all the money, not to mention the damage to yourself and the people around you. My father was a heavy smoker, my mother quit 8 years ago (and I'm really proud of her). I guess I'm used to being around smokers, but I still don't like it.

I nearly never drink alcohol and if I drink, I always have my limits. It has useful effects for me, like I 'm more talkative and I care less, its good for dates and any other social occasion. But honestly I don't get much out of it, I only drink when I'm surrounded by other people who drink. I understand why people get plastered all the time to escape their reality, but in my opinion there are better ways than alcohol. I'm probably biased because my father was an alcoholic when I was 6. I hate being around drunks and all the culture revolving around alcohol in my country. Its for a lot of people perfectly normal here to get intoxicated every weekend..
each to their own, but I prefer people around me being non-smokers/drinkers

dlb
09-23-2013, 06:38 AM
Considering the awful hangovers I sometimes have I really don't know what gets me to drink 5 to 6 beers and sometimes a gin tonic whenever we go out. Of course it has the side effect of caring less and being more talkative as MrsMeowMeow mentioned and I don't get drunk easily, but I never have the urge to drink when I'm alone and I never said something like "Wow, now I need a beer!" when having had a rough day at work. It's not even delicious most of the time. The overall celebratory part about alocohol might be why people and me are coming back to it. It's some kind of vacation and a sign that we are wealthy and the times are good, at least that's how I feel about it. It did get out of hand two times already within the last month, not severe, but to the point where I didn't feel comfortable, so I refuse to drink some for a while and make it something special again.

I never cared about smoking though. I used to enjoy a cigar here and there but that was mainly to show off or feel great in some ways and celebrate something special which is a paradox in itself considering how shitty you feel after a whole cigar. Family has some heavy smokers with my father and uncle having quit years ago, but I guess that's where my apathy is coming from. I don't care about smoking friends though but it's a no go at my house or places where I eat. I also don't know what weed is all about. It never worked for me and only fucks up my circulation system, getting dizzy and shit.

When it comes to relationships: I don't care if the lady drinks. She should be in control and as long as that is given she's free to enjoy herself. I actually enjoy it if a date is a non-drinker since that saves me money and I won't drink as much myself. Smokers I won't date though, so you're pretty much out of question for me when you ask for a lighter although that's a good conversation starter I must confess.

The problem with both, alcohol and cigarettes, is that most people only do it to fit in or come closer to characters on TV and advertising. I might have been guilty as charged in my younger days but I actually feel sorry for people who still run after these images in their thirties.

playwithfire
09-23-2013, 07:13 AM
I'm also going to put it out there that I'm also super not a fan of (obviously always super consenting) drunk sex.

Halo Infinity
09-23-2013, 09:29 AM
The problem with both, alcohol and cigarettes, is that most people only do it to fit in or come closer to characters on TV and advertising. I might have been guilty as charged in my younger days but I actually feel sorry for people who still run after these images in their thirties.
This really caught my attention because I would actually understand it if they did it just because they really liked drinking and smoking. I'd actually get that. I also noticed that while some of them love to do it in a group, they actually start to feel like something is wrong if they were to drink or smoke alone. And as I've asked earlier in this thread, are there people that are friends and hang out only because they drink and smoke? I never understood why a friendship has to end or not even start just because the other person stopped drinking/smoking, or wasn't a smoker/drinker to start with.

It's even worse to me when they actually can't stand each other without the drinks and smokes. I've heard about that too. If it wasn't for the drinks and smokes, they simply wouldn't stand or care to be around each other.

frankie teardrop
09-23-2013, 04:07 PM
my entire family smokes. mom. dad. my grandpa quit over the years and my grandmother (recently passed) had a lung removed 20 years ago due to lung cancer. i've had a cigarette to try, and a few cloves when i was a young, pretentious goth kid, but otherwise, i can't stand it. i generally have no judgements towards anyone who does, but i certainly do not allow for it in my home.

since we grew up in a smoking household, all of my possessions and clothes smelled strongly of smoke for years, so much so that i grew numb to it and never noticed anymore. i'm sure i've had my fill of secondhand smoke over the years. my brothers and i all had this pact growing up that we would never start, but the two middle brothers started up recently and i'm quite depressed about it, honestly. my mom chain smokes, even after losing her mother to cancer that came back. the few times i had a cigarette i never 'enjoyed it' or felt any differently, just smelled bad, coughed a lot, and had a pretty miserable experience, so i just don't understand the point of shelling out money for something that generally makes you feel terrible and will inevitably kill you. i just don't get it.

alcohol on the other hand, i had a problem with. with the aforementioned parents' divorce, i grew up quickly and helped to raise my younger brothers starting in 7th/8th grade. i generally held it together and excelled at school with the extra stress, but i turned to the liquor cabinet to cope. became co-dependent very, very young... had my stomach pumped one night, and didn't touch booze again until late high school/college, and it was mostly wine. once i discovered good beer and learned to pace myself, i became a social drinker- out at clubs, djing, playing shows, etc. i flirted once or twice with some more serious stuff (never anything in the blood) but while i can't speak poorly of the experience, i am not compelled to do any of it again.

since my early years, i've never gotten blackout drunk (i know my limits and usually stop well within in reason), and only drank to the point of err..throwing up once, when overdoing it on wine in 2003 or so. hangovers were rare until i hit 29/30 or so, which is when i started slowing down on nightlife in general due to burning out/lack of interest (i've mentioned this elsewhere- mostly the nightlife and introvert threads). i've always disliked bars but the lifestyle called for it, so scaling back on that sort of nightlife has helped cut back from an already lower alcohol intake than most in my circles. now, if i find myself at a nice dinner with old friends, i'll have a beer or two. DJing, the same. paced, with water/food in between, and general as a social thing and not as a mood inhibitor. now that we have practice on a weekly basis i find myself having one or two beers a week and i'd like to scale that back down already...



edit: i'll add that do like the taste of beer, though am picky. also, when i am tipsy, i'm a fun drunk- generally in good spirits, or more or less the same just a little more exciteable/chatty than usual. in the wine days, i was a bit of a romantic. i've never been a violent or nasty drunk outside of those early years, with reason. i'm cranky enough without booze. ;)

dlb
09-23-2013, 04:53 PM
That's another good point not to be forgotten. Alcohol can have a whole different impact depending on each person. Personally most people won't notice when I'm drunk and only good friends will know the difference. Usually I only talk a bit faster and tend to jump from topic to topic but I've never been severly drunk so that I couldn't articulate myself anymore. I might get too tired and leave or start to feel sick before hitting rock bottom. Each and every one of us needs to know about his limits. There's no one who can make that decision for you.

I can not really recall right now what it's like in the US or UK although I've visited quite often, but most of the time booze (beer especially) is cheaper at bars than most drinks. And I don't see the point in actually ordering water to be honest. I'll have tap water (something I wouldn't even have for free in the US) for free if I ask nicely but yeah, most of the time I will stick with beer since it's the cheapest or the bar we are at doesn't have the sodas I like. I don't drink juice where I don't know where it's coming from.

Apart from gin variations I also stopped ordering cocktails years ago since they are definitely too steep in price and you would actually have to go to some place decent to get a good one that is worth its money. And even then I wouldn't down more than two. Schnaps on the other hand tends to be a bitch when people start giving free rounds on birthdays etc. That is definitely a situation where I have to say "no" more often.
Kris: I actually never experienced people looking down on me for not drinking alcohol when I'm out. People know that I can drink a bar empty so they will give me a look when I have an "off-day" and am still out but most of the time they are pretty cool with it in the end. And many people will actually look up to you for staying "strong" which is actually sad in itself when you think about it. But if people consider you not fun because you're not a drinker than you shouldn't hang out with them in the first place.

tony.parente
09-23-2013, 04:58 PM
My views on smoking are a little extreme but hey, what are you gunna do.

I think smokers shouldn't have the right to vote or have children because if they're going to do something as mind-numbingly stupid to their bodies like that they are not mentally capable enough to make choices that would affect other peoples lives.
I seriously think they have a form of mental retardation, or mental deficiency for being a slave to such a substance...billions of years of evolution - BILLIONS and you're going to allow yourself to have such an animalistic addiction to such a stupid chemical?

GTF outta here.

JessicaSarahS
09-23-2013, 05:09 PM
I don't smoke. My dad smoked for decades- he didn't smoke around us and he didn't have any health problems from it, but it was just annoying to see it become a priority for him when I was younger. I did try cigarettes once or twice, but they were just as disgusting as I had imagined. I do drink occasionally, but I've never been a frequent drinker. I used to drink quite a bit more when I was younger, but not as often as a lot of my friends did. I still kept it to once or twice a week, while they'd go out every single day. Now I still drink once or twice a week, but only one or two drinks. I love wine and craft beer and I enjoy it as a treat, but I don't like the feeling of getting drunk anymore. It really takes quite a lot out of me now and the recovery time is way too long to find any joy in it. But if I had to give up alcohol tomorrow, I could do so and I wouldn't miss it.

On the other hand, I definitely miss caffeine. That is totally my vice and I've quit it and picked it up so many times over the years. But it's definitely run its course with my body now since it causes an anxiety/heart issue with me and I can no longer drink it without triggering a panic attack later that night. Even the smallest amount of caffeine will do that to me now. I used to be able to drink quite a few caffeinated drinks a day, now I can't even drink low caffeinated tea. It really sucks because I enjoy the flavor of caffeinated drinks quite a bit and the cravings are so bad, but I'll just have to deal. :(

AgentofChaos
09-23-2013, 05:17 PM
Hahahahahahaha thanks for the laugh Tony. I hope one day you find the help you need.

Halo Infinity
02-12-2016, 04:31 PM
I seriously can't believe that I overlooked this possibility, although, granted, I've overlooked a lot of stuff before, but I've recently/finally learned that sometimes being a non-drinker and a non-smoker can actually give off red flags for the possibility of one being a staunchly judgmental religious fanatic.

As somebody that was born and reared in the Christian, Protestant, Seventh-day Adventist Church, I just can't believe that I overlooked that, since in Adventism, smoking and drinking are forbidden sins, so I'd totally now have a much better and clearer understanding as to why people felt judged, or thought they were judged.

There are also a lot of other things the Seventh-day Adventist Church opposes and condemns, but for whatever reason, it was a lot easier for me to see why their beliefs for abstaining from those other forbidden things, while condemning them, would leave people feeling judged. And more Adventist church members than not, certainly discuss and label drinkers and smokers in a very negative way.

And well, not to derail my thread and turn it into to an Adventist thread, but it apparently was an enormous part of my experiences regarding this matter whenever I spoke to people outside of my religious circles, since they're even at great odds with the Roman Catholics about smoking and drinking, as well as other personal life choices. Although, I still haven't gotten into smoking, and don't really drink, but it's not for religious reasons as of right now, as I'm not even religious these days either. I suppose I just got used to most of the Adventist lifestyle. I'll admit that it would be impossible for me to follow all the way through, even if I still had the conviction I was reared with, considering just how far and deep the rules of Adventism really go.

Lew
02-12-2016, 04:38 PM
smoke. too much. tobacco and weed.
don't drink, simply because i cannot tolerate the out of control-ness that alcohol brings.
i never feel out of control smoking weed (though eating it is a totally different animal, for me).
i don't mind others drinking, unless they get in my face or want to attempt a debate or any type of real conversation.
i don't mean that cunty, or superior or anything...i just don't see a point in having a conversation with someone who can't keep their eyes in one spot, you know?
and getting in my face: that sort of "haaaaaave fuuuuuun, dance.". "i AM having fun". "no." (grabs me and tries to "make" me dance) "noooooo, dance like this". etc. if they are just drinking and laughing and being chill, all is well.

xcore
02-12-2016, 04:53 PM
http://www.med-etc.com/med/merk/merkblatt-rauchen-d/raucherlunge-nichtraucherlunge.jpg

source: http://www.med-etc.com/med/merk/merkblatt-rauchen.htm

GibbonBlack
02-12-2016, 11:45 PM
I quit smoking last year and quit drinking 7 days ago. The last two days were pretty hard but I had a friend taking my mind off of it. These have been the first two nights in a row with no work and no drinking in about 4 years. It feels odd, but good

Go me! I'm almost at 2 and a half years now!

xcore
02-13-2016, 06:40 AM
I don't smoke nothing anymore and stopped drinking alcohol since about 6 weeks. So at Carnival last weekend I wanted to celebrate and when I started to dress on, I thought about how it would work not to drink when I' out between the carnival reveler and feared it a bit, if I got weak. But when it went on, all was fine and I stayed with Ginger and Water. A woman I discussed with, when she was a bit drunk already, said, that she wouldn't do that in the straight-edgy way like me. She said, sometimes, when she's in the mood, she wants to drink and does it. I answered, that it is a kind of an experiment. I want to see what happens with my life, when I am abstinent from alcohol completely. Short time later she ordered a coke.
Well, now and then I think, a really excellent whiskey would be fine... I must say, without alcohol I like myself much better and it is tough to recognize and to believe, that so I am probably the better person. Alcohol is so standard, people are really blind about drinking. Although, sometimes a glas of wine or a whiskey....

tony.parente
02-13-2016, 09:21 AM
Non drinkers are cool, drinkers who know their limits are cool. I fall somewhere in between, a bottle of jack will last me a year easy. Smokers though...I keep my opinion of smokers in my head because because well, it's not a good one.

Swykk
02-13-2016, 09:43 AM
I used to do both back in my self destruction days (1998-2002), now I do neither. I was only ever drunk maybe three times and all were such awful experiences I became more of a social drinker and then eventually kind of just got over it. Smoking was short lived too. I was smoking pot primarily and then cloves more than actual cigarettes. I miss pot a lot. The other stuff not so much. I've already had cancer and am not interested in getting it again. I don't hate smokers. I feel bad for them and wish they could stop.

millionmilesaway
02-13-2016, 10:54 AM
Have never and will never smoke anything. Both my parents smoke, mom 2+ packs a day, dad around 1 pack a day. Growing up I had constant headaches, terrible asthma and developed a dysfunctional thyroid which may or may not be linked to all the secondhand smoke i was exposed to. I still get instant headaches and coughing fits whenever I am around cigarettes, weed, even incense.

I will only drink socially and if I do its 1-2 drinks max for me. I dislike being drunk just about as much as I dislike smoke.

I find that I tend to negatively judge people with vices in general. Especially coffee or soda drinkers. I just don't understand why someone would need something like beverage so badly.

Archive_Reports
02-13-2016, 11:30 AM
I gave up drinking about two months ago. It has saved a ton of money and I've lost weight.

Amaro
02-13-2016, 11:52 AM
My mental state is a sensitive one. I was never big on drinking but it just sucks for me anymore. I can't figure it out, but oh well, I'ma stop.

halloween
02-13-2016, 03:31 PM
I don't smoke nothing anymore and stopped drinking alcohol since about 6 weeks. So at Carnival last weekend I wanted to celebrate and when I started to dress on, I thought about how it would work not to drink when I' out between the carnival reveler and feared it a bit, if I got weak. But when it went on, all was fine and I stayed with Ginger and Water. A woman I discussed with, when she was a bit drunk already, said, that she wouldn't do that in the straight-edgy way like me. She said, sometimes, when she's in the mood, she wants to drink and does it. I answered, that it is a kind of an experiment. I want to see what happens with my life, when I am abstinent from alcohol completely. Short time later she ordered a coke.
Well, now and then I think, a really excellent whiskey would be fine... I must say, without alcohol I like myself much better and it is tough to recognize and to believe, that so I am probably the better person. Alcohol is so standard, people are really blind about drinking. Although, sometimes a glas of wine or a whiskey....

There was carnival too around my parts and I went out, hesitantly, to a block party. I met this guy who was offered me drinks and I put up waaaaay to much of his shit now that I think back on it just because, before he got really drunk, he seemed nice to talk too and cute. Anyways, the first red flag was that I explained drinking too much literally gives me hives the next day (especially red wine which is what he was offering me) because, I explained to him, I may have an auto-immune disorder and after awhile he started getting drunk and was like "Who cares if you get hives?! Drink!!!" I should have been pissed, because fuck you, it's my health you're talking about, but I was dancing and in a great mood so I had the smallest of smallest sips and each time he handed me the bottle, I either just had literally a teeny sip or just held the drink until he was ready to have it back. I doubt he realized how much I wasn't drinking because he got so drunk he forgot he tried making out with me.

Anyways, it was the first time I've ever resented the presence of alcohol so much, I just really wanted to have a normal conversation with this dude, he wanted to hook up soooo badly and well, so did I, but I didn't want to do it right then and there, I was hoping for a sometime in the future after exchanging numbers where there is PRIVACY and not a drunken crowd around me and not while he's drunk.

I like drinking at home and I realized that I can't just have alcohol sitting around because I'm tempted to drink more than I should especially if I'm not feeling good. I've already had a "season" of alcoholism, if I'm going to be honest with myself here, and now I feel how weak I can be in regards to alcohol. When I'm not in a shitty mood, I can be very responsible and drink for the sake of enjoying a fucking delicious beer because I love beer. I'm now thankful that I don't live in a country with cheap artisan beers every where because it's less tempting. Buying specialty brews here is like buying good wine so it's definitely for special occasions of celebration. I'm starting to view alcohol as I view other drugs and how drugs are ingested by certain (tribal or otherwise?) cultures- to treat it with respect and ingest it in certain "sacred", ceremonial-type situations.

As for cigarettes, I'm a dumb self-destructive person who, several years ago, tried getting hooked to cigarettes but I always ended up throwing the pack away and saying "What the fuck is wrong with me, this is disgusting". Cloves on the other hand, I could have a pack of those and smoke one cigarette a month, but then I realized that was also dumb so I stopped asking my boyfriend at the time to give me his imported cloves. Blegh. I don't harbor any ill feelings for people who smoke though, although I really dislike walking through people's cigarette smoke but that doesn't make me hate the person, just the situation.

Halo Infinity
02-13-2016, 03:43 PM
I find that I tend to negatively judge people with vices in general. Especially coffee or soda drinkers. I just don't understand why someone would need something like beverage so badly.
I really am a straight up Mountain Dew and Dr Pepper person, and at times tried Monster Energy and Red Bull, as caffeine has been my drug of choice for quite some time. However, at the same time, it's also because I'm such a sweet tooth. I drink it mostly for the taste, but I have been cutting down a bit somewhat, as I haven't had energy drinks for quite a while. I'd still drink any of that stuff even if there was no caffeine available. (Although I will still admit that I like the way it makes me feel.)

As for coffee, I'm definitely a Dunkin' Donuts person from time to time, otherwise I just get my coffee elsewhere, and like it either hot or iced. I get how any vice are pretty much similar in some ways, as food addiction can also be similar to drug addiction too.

But yeah, I can admit why I'd still have to cut down on those types of beverages. It also kind of helped me understand what it's like to feel like the odd one out for drinking something when I also met people that didn't drink caffeine at all. Oh, and to add to my point about the Adventist faith I grew up with as mentioned in my previous post, it's kind of funny, because their rules for caffeine aren't as concrete as say, their rules for drinking alcohol or eating pork. (Some of their rules are very similar to Judaism.) Anyway, even they're divided on caffeine, or even eating meat, as a large portion of them are vegetarian and vegan.

If you're also interested in discussing caffeine, I also made The Caffeine Thread (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/2878-The-Caffeine-Thread).

eversonpoe
02-13-2016, 04:23 PM
Non drinkers are cool, drinkers who know their limits are cool. I fall somewhere in between, a bottle of jack will last me a year easy. Smokers though...I keep my opinion of smokers in my head because because well, it's not a good one.

it's on the previous page. i just liked it. from 2013. haha.

i just found out that mormons can't drink coffee or tea. like, i get tobacco/alcohol/drugs, and i guess coffee CAN be bad for you in large quantities...but TEA? what the hell?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RGnEJRkIDA

xcore
02-14-2016, 07:58 AM
(just sipping a decaf with a lot of foamed soja)


[...]I explained to him, I may have an auto-immune disorder and after awhile he started getting drunk and was like "Who cares if you get hives?! Drink!!!" I should have been pissed, because fuck you, it's my health you're talking about, [...]

Yes, you should have been pissed! But that is just a situation, in which alcohol reveals its character. It flattens the borders of self-consciousness (next to more psychological and neurobiological [non-]activities). Most drinkers think, that's okay, so they can relate, talk and communicate better to others, are creative, funny and more liked. In a superficial perspective this may be right, but actually it's untrue. The personality of a person is being stretched by a consumed substance from outside. So logically it must be an undone state.

In the last year I experienced few situation in which alcohol played its role. I was never a big drinker, more weed smoking, what ended before 21 months. So in reflection of those experiences with alcohol I really don't like it being drunk. As said, it flattens the personality. And being honest, I hate how people think, they are cool when they can drink a lot. I talk with drinkers, no prob, I just hate the common attitude of the society, that drinking is so okay. My father drinks red wine every evening, nearly one bottle. He suffered from Diabetes II, overweight (abdominal) and blood pressure. But omg one talks to him that the alcohol could be the reason...then he blast the fuck out and finds weak explanations. You can difficult talk to drinker about drinking, like with drug people. Probably it ends in irony and spongy smiling or in a clash.






Anyways, it was the first time I've ever resented the presence of alcohol so much, I just really wanted to have a normal conversation with this dude, he wanted to hook up soooo badly and well, so did I, but I didn't want to do it right then and there, I was hoping for a sometime in the future after exchanging numbers where there is PRIVACY and not a drunken crowd around me and not while he's drunk.

When he calls you and talks about his drinking on that evening, like: "Hey sorry, was so drunk, let's meet in another mood" you give him a chance ;-) ...or not?!


I like drinking at home and I realized that I can't just have alcohol sitting around because I'm tempted to drink more than I should especially if I'm not feeling good. I've already had a "season" of alcoholism, if I'm going to be honest with myself here, and now I feel how weak I can be in regards to alcohol. When I'm not in a shitty mood, I can be very responsible and drink for the sake of enjoying a fucking delicious beer because I love beer. I'm now thankful that I don't live in a country with cheap artisan beers every where because it's less tempting. Buying specialty brews here is like buying good wine so it's definitely for special occasions of celebration. I'm starting to view alcohol as I view other drugs and how drugs are ingested by certain (tribal or otherwise?) cultures- to treat it with respect and ingest it in certain "sacred", ceremonial-type situations.

I also drunk at home. Am not sure, it's just, its not so good, I would say, and never drink when you're in a bad mood. Find an alternative, sport, eating an apple, washing the dishes, or paint a bad picture or a make ugly selfies. Alcohol works on me in an aggressive way. Maybe I feel the doom within and it's a paradox overcome. So, a beer or two are fully okay.


As for cigarettes, I'm a dumb self-destructive person who, several years ago, tried getting hooked to cigarettes but I always ended up throwing the pack away and saying "What the fuck is wrong with me, this is disgusting". Cloves on the other hand, I could have a pack of those and smoke one cigarette a month, but then I realized that was also dumb so I stopped asking my boyfriend at the time to give me his imported cloves. Blegh. I don't harbor any ill feelings for people who smoke though, although I really dislike walking through people's cigarette smoke but that doesn't make me hate the person, just the situation.

Cigarettes doesn't make any sense for me. Quitted it in 2004. It's just stupid to smoke, isn't t.

So, hopefully it's an understandable read.


I drink coffee with and without caffeine, 2 to 3 cups with a lot of soja or rice drink.

halloween
02-14-2016, 09:13 AM
When he calls you and talks about his drinking on that evening, like: "Hey sorry, was so drunk, let's meet in another mood" you give him a chance ;-) ...or not?!

I didn't give him my number or vice versa, so that's never going to happen! But I would have only given him a chance after telling him everything that was not ok about our encounter, haha.

xcore
02-14-2016, 10:50 AM
I didn't give him my number or vice versa, so that's never going to happen!
did misunderstand the o-post in this case.

But I would have only given him a chance after telling him everything that was not ok about our encounter, haha.
hehe* see it

Jinsai
02-14-2016, 01:56 PM
I don't think drinkers/smokers generally have any kind of disdain or feelings of irritation with abstainers. I've heard these anecdotal stories about people getting shit for not having a drink, but I have NEVER seen it in real life, and I've worked at a bar. More often, I think they're jealous of people who aren't enslaved to addiction.

On the other hand, and justifiably, you do see a lot of attacks on people for their use of drugs/alcohol/tobacco. It ruins lives, and there's a good chance it will kill you (and possibly someone else with you). Still, the blanket condescension and moralizing is fine, but it often comes from a place that has no real understanding of what's going on there.

Tony, I can't tell if you're being facetious or not, but if I were to take what you're saying at face value... Have you ever had a struggle with physical addictive dependance?

Cat Mom
02-14-2016, 03:04 PM
I don't think drinkers/smokers generally have any kind of disdain or feelings of irritation with abstainers. I've heard these anecdotal stories about people getting shit for not having a drink, but I have NEVER seen it in real life, and I've worked at a bar. More often, I think they're jealous of people who aren't enslaved to addiction.
When I quit smoking, I got snarky shit for it from some smokers. "ha, how long do you think THAT'S gonna last" or "aren't you worried you're gonna get FAT?" etc. Also, when I stopped drinking, I got snarky looks from waitstaff sometimes in bars about ordering non-alcoholic drinks, maybe because they thought their tips would be smaller (smaller tab). A waitress in Vegas by the pool at the Four Seasons asked me if I was pregnant.

icklekitty
02-15-2016, 04:43 PM
I have a few friends who don't drink and I really revel in making them virgin versions of cocktails that match what everyone else is having. I'm into alcohol for flavour more than toxicity, so I get really annoyed when virgin cocktails are just various juices in a glass. There are a few bartenders in London that make a brilliant effort with it.

marodi
02-15-2016, 05:27 PM
I come from a family of smokers who have all quit (but for a couple of exceptions). Both my parents were smokers and I have had to watch my father die of lung cancer when I was 15. I've never smoked.

There's also a history of alcoholism in my family (an uncle died from it) so I've never drink to the point of getting drunk.

However:


I'm into alcohol for flavour more than toxicity (...)

Me too. I like vodka and wine (not together, ha!) because I like how they taste. So, from time to time, I will buy myself a small bottle of white wine that'll drink over a couple of days or I'll buy a small bottle of Grey Goose (about 13 oz) that enjoy an ounce at a time, neat, twice a week. A couple of ounce of vodka a week, for 6 weeks a year, that I truly savor is the most badass I get with alcohol.

Meh.

the duder
02-15-2016, 05:34 PM
My wife drinks - rarely to excess anymore - and we have booze in the house. Lots of it, in fact, and most is left over from our wedding which I spent 100% sober. I probably had the most fun of anyone there, plus I had no hangover! Win/win!

Overall, the longer I'm sober, the more I see that it was me (as the non-drinker/recovering alcoholic) that had the problem with others who drink/drank/drunk.

theimage13
02-15-2016, 06:19 PM
I don't think drinkers/smokers generally have any kind of disdain or feelings of irritation with abstainers. I've heard these anecdotal stories about people getting shit for not having a drink, but I have NEVER seen it in real life, and I've worked at a bar.

Well, let me add to the list of anecdotes then. A couple of years ago I almost quit my job after I found out that the people who I would basically be working AND living with for almost a year were the type of guys who would NOT take "no" for an answer. Before my drink was finished at dinner there would be another one in front of me, because they'd go to the bar, buy it, and tell me I'm drinking it. Or they'd make a scene with the waiter when they'd ask if anyone wanted another drink. I'd say "I'm good" and my colleagues would just immediately start saying "no, he's having another. Bring him another one. He wants another one. Don't listen to him." They would. Not. Stop.

Every once in a while, we'd have a party for the whole crew. I'd be having a pint and enjoying myself when a group would decide that I need to take a shot with them. I would spend ten minutes telling them I'm not doing it, and they just wouldn't listen. So finally I'd just set my drink down, excuse myself to the bathroom, and walk right out the door without saying goodbye to anyone. If we had suites anywhere on the tour, we'd have a "family dinner" where our department got together and cooked, and they'd get angry with me if I stopped after my second glass of wine. Again, I'd basically just wait until everyone went out to smoke or use the shitter, and I'd walk out.

It wasn't just that tour. On any crew I've ever worked on, there's at least one person who doesn't want to hear you say no to another round. And they're total cunts about it. It's not a minor little irritant. In the example of that last tour, I literally stopped interacting with my entire crew outside of working hours, which sucks because you live in the same hotels or bus and it's nice to actually get along with people and enjoy socializing with them. But I couldn't take it anymore. Being constantly harassed because you don't feel like getting trashed is more annoying than I can possibly put into words.

xcore
02-16-2016, 06:41 AM
Overall, the longer I'm sober, the more I see that it was me (as the non-drinker/recovering alcoholic) that had the problem with others who drink/drank/drunk.

Can you explain that a little more, pls?!

icklekitty
02-16-2016, 11:03 AM
Actually the worst addiction I have which will be harder to quit than anything in the history of the world for me will be Diet Coke/Coke Zero. If I even could Id probably become an alcoholic cause I'd drink wine with every meal instead.

The shit is toxic but my body actually needs it. I can't function without it. It's fucked up.


Ah, this is interesting! I actually was addicted to Diet Coke but managed to quit it a few months ago and now drink sparkling water. I do however now have a glass of wine with dinner most nights (say 4/7 nights) and mainly prefer to drink when it's paired with food. I've completely gone off sweet drinks altogether, to the point where I had some of my favourite whisky on Friday night and it was fucking gross. It took me a while to get used to not having the fake sugar in my body and I now have one good quality double espresso most days instead.

the duder
02-16-2016, 08:07 PM
Can you explain that a little more, pls?!

Sure. I had a huge issue hanging out around other drinkers when I first got sober. It pissed me off to no end when I'd go out and everyone else COULD drink and I COULDN'T. I was the life of the party when I was drinking, and it felt like I couldn't be "me" without drinking. It turns out, the longer I was sober (and talked with other alcoholics about it), the more I realized that I COULD be the life of the party. Without being drunk. Once that burden was lifted, and I saw that the issue was not the others who were drinking. It was me. It always was about me; that's the nature of my disease.

xcore
02-17-2016, 04:19 AM
Sure. I had a huge issue hanging out around other drinkers when I first got sober. It pissed me off to no end when I'd go out and everyone else COULD drink and I COULDN'T.

Oh yes, that's very often a knot, not only with drinking. I had had that with weed so bad.


I was the life of the party when I was drinking, and it felt like I couldn't be "me" without drinking. It turns out, the longer I was sober (and talked with other alcoholics about it), the more I realized that I COULD be the life of the party. Without being drunk. Once that burden was lifted, and I saw that the issue was not the others who were drinking. It was me. It always was about me; that's the nature of my disease.
Sometimes the simple talking can be enough to let that go... for me it was the hardest still permantly learning people who do drugs. I couldn't relate to their minds anymore, also because they aren't in their twenties anymore, but although I knew about the pressure within. So I felt kinda jealous, that they don't have to think about drugs in the way I do, or even somehow have to think (caused by the nature of my disease). Then I talked it out and e.g. one guy said, he's jealous that I must not do drugs anymore (he does more than weed). It fucked me up and I had to work really hard on me, yes, also in a psycho therapie, that I can be proud of where I am now and of my state of mind. A new thinking and approach. Takes its time...

Cat Mom
02-17-2016, 11:53 AM
Ah, this is interesting! I actually was addicted to Diet Coke but managed to quit it a few months ago and now drink sparkling water.
I'm afraid I'm pretty dependent on Diet Coke, too. And if I go without it I often get a headache, and it can't be from the caffeine withdrawal because I drink caffeine-free Diet Coke. Wtf. I think some of it is due to dehydration because my primary source of liquid intake is ... DIET COKE.

I realized the other day that my favorite beverages are sparkling: Diet Coke, champagne, cava, prosecco, sparkling water. I think I'm going to have to wean myself off of this Diet Coke and switch to sparking water, too. My husband drinks that LaCroix lemon-flavored sparkling water but I don't dig it too much. Actually, I hate cold water (prefer room temperature).

Archive_Reports
02-17-2016, 06:12 PM
Actually, I hate cold water (prefer room temperature).

Room temperature water is the best water.

eversonpoe
02-17-2016, 10:42 PM
drinking room temperature water always makes me feel like i'm in the process of vomiting, which makes my system (from years of bulimia) start to purge, so i have to be really careful to avoid it.

Cat Mom
02-17-2016, 10:49 PM
Ice or cold water makes my sensitive teeth freak out, and there's just something about cold water that makes my digestive system not feel too good. I end up being better off drinking plain hot water than cold water.

icklekitty
02-18-2016, 09:21 AM
I'm afraid I'm pretty dependent on Diet Coke, too. And if I go without it I often get a headache, and it can't be from the caffeine withdrawal because I drink caffeine-free Diet Coke. Wtf. I think some of it is due to dehydration because my primary source of liquid intake is ... DIET COKE.

I realized the other day that my favorite beverages are sparkling: Diet Coke, champagne, cava, prosecco, sparkling water. I think I'm going to have to wean myself off of this Diet Coke and switch to sparking water, too. My husband drinks that LaCroix lemon-flavored sparkling water but I don't dig it too much. Actually, I hate cold water (prefer room temperature).

It's probably the fake sugar rush. The fizziness is exactly why I switched to sparkling.

Lew
05-11-2016, 07:34 PM
ok, so this seems the most appropriate place to post this:.
so, at the last concert i attended, a drunk dude bumped into me and said "sorry, beautiful lady" and off he went. i turned to my friend and said "hey, a drunk dude just called me beautiful". she says "how do you know he was drunk?". i reply "if i lit a flame in front of his mouth, this place would go up in a flash". it would appear this conversation was overheard and someone took exception to it...
what i want to know is: what was offensive about what *i* said? that he was drunk? he was. i didn't say "that stupid fucking asshole cuntfucking cocksmoking dipshit drunk". that i told my friend he called me beautiful? (which is a running joke with us, now, at shows, because apparently i look great from behind beer goggles and the ever awesome dim light.)
i can't see that i said or did anything shitty.

theimage13
05-11-2016, 08:44 PM
ok, so this seems the most appropriate place to post this:.
so, at the last concert i attended, a drunk dude bumped into me and said "sorry, beautiful lady" and off he went. i turned to my friend and said "hey, a drunk dude just called me beautiful". she says "how do you know he was drunk?". i reply "if i lit a flame in front of his mouth, this place would go up in a flash". it would appear this conversation was overheard and someone took exception to it...
what i want to know is: what was offensive about what *i* said? that he was drunk? he was. i didn't say "that stupid fucking asshole cuntfucking cocksmoking dipshit drunk". that i told my friend he called me beautiful? (which is a running joke with us, now, at shows, because apparently i look great from behind beer goggles and the ever awesome dim light.)
i can't see that i said or did anything shitty.

Your response to your friend was hyperbolic, and someone probably took that as an insult to drinkers everywhere. You could have told your friend "his breath smelled like booze" and the person who got butt hurt about your comment probably wouldn't have said anything. But since you responded with a dramatic exaggeration, someone probably took that to mean that you were whining about people drinking in general. Said person may have also been drunk at the time, making them even more sensitive to the issue.

Just my guess, anyway. Who knows.

blake
05-11-2016, 09:07 PM
Lew, I don't think you said anything wrong or offensive, either. Thing is, anyone who is looking for a reason to be offended can always find one, no matter what you do or say. I try to not let that kind of thing bother me, but sometimes that's hard to do.

I don't smoke and never have. I don't consider myself a health nut or anything but I have been into martial arts and physical fitness ever since I was a child. My Dad taught all of us kids and we all have become very capable of defending ourselves and are in excellent condition.

Legally, I am still too young to drink and don't very often, but I have had relatively small amounts sometimes. I've had enough to have a slight buzz, I guess, but have never been actually drunk, I don't think. I've seen the results of too much alcohol in others and have no desire to fall victim to that myself. I've had some people tease me about not drinking before, but not to any great extent. Doesn't bother me, because I'm not one to care too much about what people think, outside of my family and close friends.

Lew
05-12-2016, 01:09 PM
the funny thing is, i get really uptight about drunk men at concerts, because one always comes up to me and starts belligerent one sided conversations with me. i can't figure it out, honestly. i must have a homing beacon or something. this one, though, was not rude or mean or argumentative...so it was actually the least jarring experience yet.
anyway, thanks for weighing in. sometimes i want to wear a sign that says "had more than four drinks? leave me alone, please", but that would lead to obvious issues. it's funny, i try to live and let be...but the gods of alcohol seem to want me to stop attending concerts or start throwing punches? (joking).

bruised
05-12-2016, 03:25 PM
My wife and I had our 2nd kid in March, and since she obviously couldn't drink, I went the 9 months with her with no booze. I think I stopped when she was about 5 weeks, give or take. Anyways he's 2 months old now and I'm keepin it going! Just doing it for fun, and I feel good too!

eversonpoe
05-12-2016, 04:57 PM
My wife and I had our 2nd kid in March, and since she obviously couldn't drink, I went the 9 months with her with no booze. I think I stopped when she was about 5 weeks, give or take. Anyways he's 2 months old now and I'm keepin it going! Just doing it for fun, and I feel good too!

i keep telling my wife i'm going to do that when she gets pregnant and she keeps going "you're going to go all nine months without drinking!?!?" and i'm like "i'm not an alcoholic! cocktails are just tasty! we can have mocktails together!"

bruised
05-12-2016, 10:56 PM
It's easy man, I mean the 1st couple of weeks were tough, but after that it's a breeze. Our garage fridge has had beer in it the whole time too. I told everyone over the last year to come and get (for free duh), and no one did. I'm not an alcoholic obviously, but I booze pretty hard when I want to. They keep asking me when I'm gonna drink again too. I just say someday...