The Relationship Thread

[ldopa]

someone (can't remember who exactly) said the only place you can truly be free, is in a locked bathroom.

my (sadly former) man knew nothing of this forum as far as i know, so posting here is sort of like my locked bathroom.

edit: though in the time i was with him, i thought less about posting here and more about "real life." he was an escape from here, and here was an escape from him. my new project is an escape from both. one thing replaces another.

such is fucking life.

long story short @Bachy, you can't have the best of both worlds. there will be consequences if they collide.

THE TRAIL MOTHER FUCKER

let her meet your flesh and blood family before us.

if life is but a dream, WAKE THE FUCK UP.

[Ryan]

Yeah! This is our club!

i kid.

The no Homers club.

[Bachy]

Yeah, that last bit was bulshit. She won't be coming here. This place is my sanctuary.

[Space Suicide]

My post was a joke.

[allegro]

We HAVE seem some pretty bad fallout on here when spouses/SOs came on here and read posts, just sayin. Pretteeeee bad.

It not only involved the two parties but it got a whole bunch of others knee-deep in the drama, people defending the board-member, etc. Ugh, ugly, ugh.

[Space Suicide]

Thought I'd join a Dating site for a laugh And was surprised when a beautiful woman I sent a message to responded. We have a big conversation chain going and I feel confident and relaxed when talking. We have matching music tastes and I made her a playlist to work out to when she goes to the gym. Was fun to do.

Thank god for Deftones being the perfect ice breaker in my first message. Deftones saves everyone.

i hope this goes somewhere. She's gorgeous, seems fun and has excellent music taste. I don't find music compatibility anywhere than this forum.

[Khrz]

It's funny, in my experience, how little music compatibility matters to me these days with who I date.

Yeah I mean look at this place : even when we love the same band we can't love it the same way or for the same reason. I find myself more comfortable being with someone whose taste completely differ from mine, at least I'm not arguing about something I care about when it comes to picking car music...

It's nice to share things I love, but there's a lot more stuff that's more important in my opinion, agreeing on the food and trip destinations for instance.
Being with someone who only loves NIN past 2005 would be infinitely more frustrating than being with someone who really loves RnB (for which I don't care at all).

[eversonpoe]

Yeah I mean look at this place : even when we love the same band we can't love it the same way or for the same reason. I find myself more comfortable being with someone whose taste completely differ from mine, at least I'm not arguing about something I care about when it comes to picking car music...

It's nice to share things I love, but there's a lot more stuff that's more important in my opinion, agreeing on the food and trip destinations for instance.
Being with someone who only loves NIN past 2005 would be infinitely more frustrating than being with someone who really loves RnB (for which I don't care at all).

i think it's important to have overlapping (but not identical) tastes. i basically have music on all the time, unless we're watching something, so we need to have common ground or one of us will go insane.

there's definitely stuff i like (metal) that sarah doesn't generally care for (though she does like some of it, which is always awesome), and i don't really like most classical music (and she grew up listening to it and playing the cello), but we have so much common ground that it's usually pretty easy to find something to listen to together.

[Khrz]

It's easier to find headphones than cooking two different meals, that's all I'm saying

[Khrz]

Sure, doing it everyday requires a lifestyle I can't afford though! Past a certain wealth nothing's a problem anymore! Hey honey, we can go both to Vietnam AND Scotland any time! Also you have your own bathroom.

[Dra508]

Sure, doing it everyday requires a lifestyle I can't afford though! Past a certain wealth nothing's a problem anymore! Hey honey, we can go both to Vietnam AND Scotland any time! Also you have your own bathroom.

Once you have two sinks, you never go back.

[allegro]

Once you have two sinks, you never go back.

Two separate BATHROOMS. A total relationship-saver.

[Space Suicide]

I only brought it up because I never find people that like what I like that isn't online only. The fact that she's a potential date in the future makes it even better.

She asked to talk off the site and we have began texting due to it! She's not shy at all and we have been sharing a bit more with each other that isn't vapid stereotypical bullshit. She also called me handsome so that's a definite plus. I think she's drop dead gorgeous personally. Either way, I'm taking it slow for now. I'm excited to learn more about her.

[Dra508]

Two separate BATHROOMS. A total relationship-saver.

That's my parents forever.

Relationship saver- having the secks. Don't forget to have the secks.

[allegro]

That's my parents forever.

Relationship saver- having the secks. Don't forget to have the secks.

Don't LIE. And also keep each other's secrets. Don't fucking tell everybody everything about each other; respect privacy and the relationship. I can count on both hands the couples I've seen break up over this shit.

The separate bathrooms thing is good for avoiding too much sharing. Sharing a bathroom - with anyone - sucks. This is my second marriage; I shared a bathroom during the first one. I would rather have been single for the remainder of my life than do THAT again. G and I bought a 2.5 bathroom house together. 18 years later, here we are. We celebrated our 20th anniversary in March. A HUGE part of that is our mutual devotion to music of ALL kinds (except country and western but we even give that a shot sometimes) and reading (and separate bathrooms).

[Space Suicide]

After some close calls yesterday with me being overly nervous (me being eager to meet in a text I had sent) she seems to not mind me asking after all. Nothing negative about me asking either but it did go unanswered which is A OK if it didn't turn her off. She still wants to talk to me. We're still getting along great. I'll let her hold the reigns with where this goes. She said in the first few days she'd be interested and would want to meet. I'll let her choose. Texting isn't my preferred option but fuck it, I don't mind at all.

[Dra508]

After some close calls yesterday with me being overly nervous (me being eager to meet in a text I had sent) she seems to not mind me asking after all. Nothing negative about me asking either but it did go unanswered which is A OK if it didn't turn her off. She still wants to talk to me. We're still getting along great. I'll let her hold the reigns with where this goes. She said in the first few days she'd be interested and would want to meet. I'll let her choose. Texting isn't my preferred option but fuck it, I don't mind at all.

Texting in not a relationship FFS.

Sorry, but I'm very sensitive to this. , it just noooooot.

[Space Suicide]

Texting in not a relationship FFS.

Sorry, but I'm very sensitive to this. , it just noooooot.

Didn't say it was? I know this isn't a relationship? I'm not that divorced from reality. Nor am I in 7th grade.

I had a stable relationship for 4 years and the one prior I had for 3. I know the rodeo.

By me saying I'll let her take the reigns I meant I'll let her make the choices for when we do things like meeting and other means of communication. To progress the friendship or anything potential after.

[Bachy]

There's this girl I've been chatting with on and off the last few months. We've never really met, but now I'm getting this sense she likes me a bit more than as a friend. Her texts are more flirty and she's even now using phrases that I typically always say. This is rather complicated because both of us are kinda seeing someone else. Her more so than me since she actually lives with her BF. Still she's asking me to come visit. As much as I'd like to, I know it's not the right thing to do for many reasons. What's the right way to let her down without ruining this friendship?

[Microwave Jellyfish]

"a bit more" and "kinda" - that's all what relationships boil down to nowadays, innit?

Go for it, man, there's no friendships that last forever, anyway

DISCLAIMER: this came from an ETS user who just posted in the drunk tank. Be responsible for you own actions.

[Sarah K]

It's amazing what having the right connection with someone can do. I like alone time. Like, a LOT. But lately all I want to do is be with him. We never run out of things to talk about. I am always laughing and having fun with him. We have the best communication that I've ever had with someone I'm dating. I must have done alright with the meeting of the family a few weeks ago, since I am going to another family gathering next week. Haha.

I just want to make his life better... and give him lots of blowjobs.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[playwithfire]

I AM GREAT AT STAYING FRIENDS AFTER ENDING THINGS WITH FOLKS. I'M GREAT AT IT. IT'S MY THING. IT'S GREAT. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN FINE. I'M SURE THERE WILL BE MANY FUTURE INSTANCES OF FINE.

And damn it, it's not my fault that my ex and I aren't closer now. He's mostly doing great these days and I've got all this pain and emotional exhaustion from all the drama of the time since we broke up last November and despite thinking he's a wonderful person and caring about him, I just don't want a lot of interaction with him right now. Because ow.

(tl;dr for anyone -- I was fine after our breakup, he super wasn't, and it resulted in a months long back and forth/peaks and valleys/me trying to be there for him, me unintentionally being insensitive, all sorts of shit mess that just really messed me up)

I take responsibility for where I'm at but ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

We still talk sometimes and I play a dnd game with him but then I've got all this emotional exhaustion shit making me nope out of more.

[Dra508]

I AM GREAT AT STAYING FRIENDS AFTER ENDING THINGS WITH FOLKS. I'M GREAT AT IT. IT'S MY THING. IT'S GREAT. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN FINE. I'M SURE THERE WILL BE MANY FUTURE INSTANCES OF FINE.
.

I find that cutting off contact is so much easier to move into healing and moving on.
That might be me. I've also gotten back together with exs probably because of the separation.

[playwithfire]

I find that cutting off contact is so much easier to move into healing and moving on.
That might be me. I've also gotten back together with exs probably because of the separation.

I think it's very much an individual thing. Like I said, I was totally fine.

Whenever people tell me that being friends after a breakup doesn't work I'm like "excuse u do u not understand how good at this i am" -- unless that person is literally a shitty person I don't want in my life, I'm good for it. Like, this is fatigue and pain from a variety of intense + draining interactions that I generally did not initiate. I certainly didn't initiate them in the beginning. And while, yeah, they followed a breakup, I think similar things could have happened in a friendship. But now? Yeah, we're less close + time will heal things.

But whenever folks are like "yes being friend is the wrong move you did the wrong move" I'm like EXCUSE YOU I'M INCREDIBLE AT THIS

[eversonpoe]

it's our two-year wedding anniversary. tonight, we're celebrating by having pizza and sangria in our PJs and watching the season premieres of Brooklyn Nine Nine and New Girl because we're homebody dorks and it's going to be 84° and more humid than a sauna outside. i love my wife so much and i couldn't be happier to have such a beautiful, wonderful, nerdy partner.

[aggroculture]

Happy Anniversary! and good luck baby making!

[Space Suicide]

So had an impromptu meet up/date thing with a girl I've talked to for about and a month and a half. Was my first outing since my last relationship. However, we still had fun today. I enjoyed myself.

[ManBurning]

Here's an update on my long distance relationship if anyone is curious how that's going.

So as previously posted about 3 months ago, we decided to do the whole long distance thing. Probably the best decision I made though. It's going really well. I've since been back to visit her for a week in August and she JUST left today after spending a week down here.

The goodbyes are getting harder to cope with though, both of us broke down in uncontrollable tears last night when realizing it was our last night together. Today wasn't any better. We both lost it at the airport.

Up until this point, it really didn't seem that tough, but now the real struggle is about to begin. We're not 100% sure on when we will see each other again. The tentative time frame at the moment is April at the earliest. If you recall from my earlier post neither of us wanted to move, but she has since came around and wants to move out here now. She said she felt at home the week she was here more than she feels at home back where she lives. We're tentatively thinking next summer. She's currently in a 1 year lease til June 30th with a roommate and they weren't planning on living together anymore once this lease finished, so she's thinking of coming then. She wanted to start school in September, so she's going to apply at some colleges out here for starting in September of 2017.

That's where we're at right now. I'll see if I can get out there before April (That's when her vacation re-news and said she was gonna try and come out here again then), but I'm currently in the process of buying/finalizing a deal on a condo for a possession date of December, so I'm going to be strapped for cash for the next little while. No more traveling for me for a while. I'll see what I can squeeze in though... Might have to start selling all my possessions one way or the other to help me afford this place I'm buying.

[playwithfire]

nevermind