The Relationship Thread

[xmd 5a]

Speaking of online dating.
I met a girl online, and we've been talking quite a bit in the last couple of days,
she seems nice and all. Today she sends me a message saying that she's
Bipolar, and on meds..she also explained that there's 3 letters after her bipolar diagnosis
that she can't remember..

So, the question is.. What do I do now?
Would you date a Bipolar girl?

My wife has both bipolar and borderline personality disorder (often abbreviated as "BPD"- possibly the three letters in question?) and my father has the former so I may be a bit biased, but I don't see any issues with giving the relationship a go. Just keep the diagnosis in mind I guess.

[[parasite]]

Speaking of online dating.
I met a girl online, and we've been talking quite a bit in the last couple of days,
she seems nice and all. Today she sends me a message saying that she's
Bipolar, and on meds..she also explained that there's 3 letters after her bipolar diagnosis
that she can't remember..

So, the question is.. What do I do now?
Would you date a Bipolar girl?

I have BPD, and slightly NPD social anxiety, so, again I'm bias too, BPD's generally have very short relationships, but I've in a long term relationship of 10years, (on & off),

but from what my Missus has just told me, eventho these relationships can be tough and very testing not just for the sufferer, but the partner too,

in my opinion the experience will open your eyes, that not all mental illnesses are bad, I'm glad and proud of my illness, as many are, and given the chance I'd never change any part of it

I think you should at least give her a chance, also, she was honest enough to tell you in the first place mate, that shows she's thought a lot about the situation, the meds should keep her very stable, too that's the good part about bipolar meds they work very well, with BPD there is no medication just management,
there are many resources online, about relationships and mental illnesses, gimme a PM or something if she also has BPD and I'll gladly give you some insight, from my point of view


little by little we went insane

[xmd 5a]

I have BPD, and slightly NPD social anxiety, so, again I'm bias too, BPD's generally have very short relationships, but I've in a long term relationship of 10years, (on & off),

but from what my Missus has just told me, eventho these relationships can be tough and very testing not just for the sufferer, but the partner too,

in my opinion the experience will open your eyes, that not all mental illnesses are bad, I'm glad and proud of my illness, as many are, and given the chance I'd never change any part of it

I think you should at least give her a chance, also, she was honest enough to tell you in the first place mate, that shows she's thought a lot about the situation, the meds should keep her very stable, too that's the good part about bipolar meds they work very well, with BPD there is no medication just management,
there are many resources online, about relationships and mental illnesses, gimme a PM or something if she also has BPD and I'll gladly give you some insight, from my point of view


little by little we went insane

I have anxiety issues and honestly, I'm probably closer to "crazy" than my wife is. A lot of the "clashes" we have stem more from me turning into a stressed-out wreck than anything to do with her mental illnesses. Understanding each other is really the key here.

[[parasite]]

I have anxiety issues and honestly, I'm probably closer to "crazy" than my wife is. A lot of the "clashes" we have stem more from me turning into a stressed-out wreck than anything to do with her mental illnesses. Understanding each other is really the key here.

oh yeah definitely understanding is the big key! there is so much basic info out there, but the main info comes from the person with the illness, as all these write ups will cover the whole spectrum of possible diagnosis criteria, of that particular illness, but each sufferers illness is highly unique to them, as you yourself will know


little by little we went insane

[pigpen]

I have BPD, and slightly NPD social anxiety, so, again I'm bias too, BPD's generally have very short relationships, but I've in a long term relationship of 10years, (on & off),

but from what my Missus has just told me, eventho these relationships can be tough and very testing not just for the sufferer, but the partner too,

in my opinion the experience will open your eyes, that not all mental illnesses are bad, I'm glad and proud of my illness, as many are, and given the chance I'd never change any part of it

I think you should at least give her a chance, also, she was honest enough to tell you in the first place mate, that shows she's thought a lot about the situation, the meds should keep her very stable, too that's the good part about bipolar meds they work very well, with BPD there is no medication just management,
there are many resources online, about relationships and mental illnesses, gimme a PM or something if she also has BPD and I'll gladly give you some insight, from my point of view


little by little we went insane

Thanks for that insight, she's a sweet girl for sure so I'll definitely give it a shot.

Thanks everyone!

[[parasite]]

Thanks for that insight, she's a sweet girl for sure so I'll definitely give it a shot.

Thanks everyone!

your very welcome, hope all goes well

[sentient02970]

I've seen this girl three times in the past week. We really enjoy one another's company. But I am trying real hard to "play it cool" as I am very into her and our contact. We'll see how THAT goes. Stay cool bro, staaaay cool.

[Dra508]

Thanks for that insight, she's a sweet girl for sure so I'll definitely give it a shot.

Thanks everyone!

Just to jump in here: I think that your friend being forthcoming before you have taking the relationship further is a great thing regardless of it being bi-polar or having a foot fetish. It's that daring towards trust that to me, is a green flag.

I heard a friend of a friend story the other day where this guy was married to this women for like two years and then finds out she's bi-polar and medicated. So she clearly she was hiding it from her husband. She's a 'raging' alcoholic that he didn't notice. Oh, and she was hooking. I don't know where to score on the "how fucked up can a relationship be" scale, but dam I feel bad for that guy.

[pigpen]

Just to jump in here: I think that your friend being forthcoming before you have taking the relationship further is a great thing regardless of it being bi-polar or having a foot fetish. It's that daring towards trust that to me, is a green flag.

I heard a friend of a friend story the other day where this guy was married to this women for like two years and then finds out she's bi-polar and medicated. So she clearly she was hiding it from her husband. She's a 'raging' alcoholic that he didn't notice. Oh, and she was hooking. I don't know where to score on the "how fucked up can a relationship be" scale, but dam I feel bad for that guy.

Yeah, she seems very sweet and honest, and I did appreciate her telling me up front. I mean, I didn't really have any idea as to what to do with that information,
but she seemed pretty relieved that I chose to continue talking to her after she told me.
I've done some reading on the subject, and I'm hoping this works out better than some of the horror stories I've read online! I mean, when I think about it
her being bipolar didn't seem like good enough reason to just bolt, you know? Seemed like a shallow thing to do, to me..

[alg]

Yeah, she seems very sweet and honest, and I did appreciate her telling me up front. I mean, I didn't really have any idea as to what to do with that information,
but she seemed pretty relieved that I chose to continue talking to her after she told me.
I've done some reading on the subject, and I'm hoping this works out better than some of the horror stories I've read online! I mean, when I think about it
her being bipolar didn't seem like good enough reason to just bolt, you know? Seemed like a shallow thing to do, to me..

My boyfriend is bipolar and I knew about it since day one. I've seen him without medication and under medication and the difference is huge (and positive) The fact that she didn't hide it from you is a good thing. And as regards online reading I recommend online blogs by bipolar people and support groups run by professionals rather than "horror stories".

[pigpen]

My boyfriend is bipolar and I knew about it since day one. I've seen him without medication and under medication and the difference is huge (and positive) The fact that she didn't hide it from you is a good thing. And as regards online reading I recommend online blogs by bipolar people and support groups run by professionals rather than "horror stories".

Well, I didn't specifically seek out horror stories, it was just a few things that popped up when I googled "Dating Bipolar Women" or some variation of that.
We'll see how it goes, she seems pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing, so I guess that's a good thing.

[Space Suicide]

The fifteenth of this month marks me and my girlfriend's six-month anniversary. Time flies!

[playwithfire]

Being needy sucks. I know my boyfriend loves/cares deeply for me, but I both kinda wish he felt the ways about me that I felt about him (I'm more likely to miss him/be physically affectionate/want to stay in closer touch) and also don't want him to be anything other than himself. And honestly, he's a lot better about stuff than he was back in the day. But a lot of our dynamic makes me fall into deeper stuff with him and then end up in similar places of having an ego and not wanting to put myself out there and see first sentence of this paragraph. I recognize that it's basically my own problem since it's not like these are flaws of his that need to be changed. I think it's natural to want someone to be super into you, or whatever. But sigh.

[sentient02970]

I basically have a girlfriend now. How the heck did that happen?

[Space Suicide]

I basically have a girlfriend now. How the heck did that happen?

I'm not too familiar with you or your posts but you have one now because you're a wonderful person obviously!

[Dra508]

I basically have a girlfriend now. How the heck did that happen?

Are you saying: "too fast" ?

[allegro]

I basically have a girlfriend now. How the heck did that happen?

Always when least expected. Mazel.

[sentient02970]

Are you saying: "too fast" ?

Kind of. Well we've seen each other like 5 times in the past week and she seems very interested in seeing more of me. I guess I'm just amazed we match so well and this sort of just happened...kind of on the whim of me finally trying a dating website.

[Dra508]

Kind of. Well we've seen each other like 5 times in the past week and she seems very interested in seeing more of me. I guess I'm just amazed we match so well and this sort of just happened...kind of on the whim of me finally trying a dating website.

Just roll with it and enjoy.


I'm in a really happy place. Thevast majority of my relations have no idea I'm in a relationship. They either think I'm a lonely chick (no cats yet) or odd, since I walk around with a smile on my face, like I'm the only one in on a joke.

[pigpen]

So, because I need to say this to SOMEONE, I'm going to say it to you guys.

I, to a very strong degree it seems, dig a girl who I maybe shouldn't.. The more time I spend with her the more
I see so much of myself in her, though. So it's hard to ignore it. Problem is she's a friend of mines ex with whom she has a child,
she works with me, she's into another guy, and I feel as though I'd fuck up our friendship if I were to say something..
Also, and this may just be a self-confidence thing, but she's BEAUTIFUL and quite frankly, way the fuck out of my league.

ugh. I hate this.

[Fixer808]

I edited this into specific bullet points as to why you should pull your 'chute:

- she's a friend of mines ex with whom she has a child
- she works with me
- she's into another guy
- I feel as though I'd fuck up our friendship if I were to say something

I've been in 50% of those situations, and they were tough enough. You're talking the perfect storm of relationship poison.

[pigpen]

Thanks man.
I think more than any of that though, I don't want to be just another set of hands tugging at her and creating
stress in what must already be a pretty stressful situation. Plus, I honestly love being around her and if I said something
I really do feel like it'd change all of that. I fully understand that, I guess I just needed to say something, and have
someone else set me straight. No, you're not going to find me bitching about the "friendzone". I've got more respect
for her as a person than that.
Plenty of fish, amirite!?

[Fixer808]

Totes, dude.

[dlb]

Thanks man.
No, you're not going to find me bitching about the "friendzone". I've got more respect
for her as a person than that.

What fixer808 said! The described situation is on a whole different level than something as vague as the "friendzone", because normally I'd say: go for it, ask her out! This requires much more foresight and tactfulness. Also, if you're not at least 80% certain that this WILL work, then don't do it until you're in a more positive mindset where you feel comfortbale.

And something like "she's out of my league" is complete bs! It's your subconciousnes that might fuck it up above all things, so stop telling you these lies! We all deserve the people we want to be with, men and women alike, it's ourselves that stop us from getting it. And as much as I hate that saying, yeah plenty of fish! More than we will ever admit and I'm always amazed by how gorgeous the next one was even if there were times were I thought the world stopped turning.

Good luck dude!

[The_Prowler]

I might have a chance with someone I've had a crush on for a long time... I don't know, though. I'm treading lightly and trying to play it cool.

[aurelius]

Last night I became That Girl. My boyfriend and I have dated over a year and a half. We've both explicitly stated we want to marry each other. He's even spoken to my parents. Once with my mom about wedding-related stuff (but it's secret) and he took my dad out to lunch to "test the waters." He's been teasing me for months about proposing. Every damn time I see a friend or family member they ask me why I'm not engaged. There's really no reason other than he has some plan. But last night I finally was like "are we ever going to talk about this?!" He was really sweet and told me to stop being nosey, that stuff was happening behind the scenes, and maybe wait about a month. He wants it to be at least somewhat of a surprise. This was all via text.

Today when he came over I felt AWFUL. He was super good natured about it, not mad at all, and told me not to be hard on myself. I feel like such an ass! Yes, let's pester the boy about proposing. That'll help! Sigh.

[Warped_Savant]

...My boyfriend and I have dated over a year and a half...

My wife and I dated for 10 years before I proposed... We moved in together a few months before we got married.
A year and a half is nothing compared to the rest of your life. Don't worry about if he's going to propose next month or 3 years from now. Enjoy all of the time you have together. Don't worry about what your last name is, don't worry if you're wearing a ring he bought you, don't worry about being a wife. That stuff doesn't matter.
Being right for each other is what really counts.

[botley]

Girlfriend girlfriend I have a girlfriend! (my 8-year-old self says, throwing rocks from the treetops onto my current self)

[johnbron]

Weeks into the relationship now and I'm absolutely loving this (nearly two months, really). I spent so many years figuring I'd likely never seriously date again and being pretty okay with that. The past 7 years single have really been the best of my life. We've known each other for more than a year now but things suddenly took a turn when she started coming to visit a mutual friend every other week since June. The rest fell into place rather quickly and naturally. My life is going to consist of trips to Seattle at least once a month and she'll be down this way at least once a month. Neither of us has been in a long distance relationship before and we realize that's going to be a hurdle. For now it's okay because it's forcing us to focus on our own lives, she and I both having kids that are nearly adults, one of hers is going to college this year... real shit to pay attention to.

*sigh*

She's already met most of my siblings (they LOVE her, which is huge to me), my parents, my ex-wife (she was also impressed and had very positive things to say, what?), my girls can't get enough of her and her kids (they can't wait to hang out again and play Minecraft together), her kids know me pretty well now and approve. What the fuck? This stuff is supposed to be crazy difficult, right? Anyway, yay me. This woman is no doubt the most amazing person I've known. Smart as fuck and gorgeous is nice too. Hoping for the best because holy shit I'm feeling pretty damn lucky right now. The waiting has seemed to pay off. I'm going to stop now. <3

[playwithfire]

I hope you know how much restraint I showed in not posting something like LOL GUESS THAT JOHNBRON TAG IS FOR REAL NOW or something sooner.

Anyway, it's weird to think I've been seeing the same person for more than 2 years.