The Childfree and/or Unmarried Thread

[theruiner]

I'll suppose that I'll just never understand the "They're just children." cop-outs. Age is no excuse for being a douche bag or a first-class asshole.

Whaaa? Dude, they're just little kids, they don't know any better. This goes beyond life experience; biologically, their brains aren't fully developed. You can't fault them for that. Plus, at that age, bad behavior a lot of the time can be blamed on bad parenting, though, obviously, that's not always the case. Sometimes kids are just being kids, and they have no control of that. It's just where they are in their brain development.

That being said, every time I hear a kid screeching and throwing a giant temper tantrum in the middle of a store I feel like jumping out a window. I don't blame the kid, and really, I don't blame the parent, because I know even the most well-behaved kids can have their moments, but God damn does it drive me up a wall. I have sympathy, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

[sublimaze]

Whaaa? Dude, they're just little kids, they don't know any better. This goes beyond life experience; biologically, their brains aren't fully developed. You can't fault them for that. Plus, at that age, bad behavior a lot of the time can be blamed on bad parenting, though, obviously, that's not always the case. Sometimes kids are just being kids, and they have no control of that. It's just where they are in their brain development.

That being said, every time I hear a kid screeching and throwing a giant temper tantrum in the middle of a store I feel like jumping out a window. I don't blame the kid, and really, I don't blame the parent, because I know even the most well-behaved kids can have their moments, but God damn does it drive me up a wall. I have sympathy, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

Small children can't help it, and while current thought is that parents should not "give in" to tantrums (since that's why the kiddo throws them in the first place), it's just irritating as fuck to everyone around. Older than maybe 4 or 5, the kids should have enough discipline and self-control to not be whiny screaming brats. Those are the kids/parents that piss me off.

[allegro]

When a child or baby is doing that, no matter the age, the parents should remove the child. Period. That's the way it was for many generations, it's proper. That's why there are cry rooms in churches. My mother removed us, her mother removed her, it was always done, for good reason.

Manners aside, it's sad for me to see a young child desperately trying to communicate with his/her mother, while said mother has completely tuned him/her out. I don't give a shit what they're teaching parents, now, that's sending a clear and indelible message to the kid: my mother is abandoning me for her iPhone or her friends; she is not reliable. Meanwhile, I get a migraine from this drama unfolding in Macy's.

[icklekitty]

Manners aside, it's sad for me to see a young child desperately trying to communicate with his/her mother, while said mother has completely tuned him/her out. I don't give a shit what they're teaching parents, now, that's sending a clear and indelible message to the kid: my mother is abandoning me for her iPhone or her friends; she is not reliable. Meanwhile, I get a migraine from this drama unfolding in Macy's.

Oh, I see this so often on the bus/in the street and it makes me want to cry. Parents who shout at their kids when they try to speak, or even those that wheel their babies/toddlers onto public transport, turn their pram the wall, and then ignore them for the entire journey. I want to physically hurt these parents. These kids aren't strangers, they're people YOU MADE.

[Ryan]

Oh, I see this so often on the bus/in the street and it makes me want to cry. Parents who shout at their kids when they try to speak, or even those that wheel their babies/toddlers onto public transport, turn their pram the wall, and then ignore them for the entire journey. I want to physically hurt these parents. These kids aren't strangers, they're people YOU MADE.

All the more reason why the world needs to end asap.

[Goldfoot]

Manners aside, it's sad for me to see a young child desperately trying to communicate with his/her mother, while said mother has completely tuned him/her out. I don't give a shit what they're teaching parents, now, that's sending a clear and indelible message to the kid: my mother is abandoning me for her iPhone or her friends; she is not reliable. Meanwhile, I get a migraine from this drama unfolding in Macy's.

While I'm not saying this is necessarily a good way to threat children, you don't know anything about their situation other than what you observe at the store. I've witnessed countless times, with my sister and her kids, where the children CONSTANTLY interrupt for non-important things. It's one thing if the kid actually needs something important or is an emergency, but going along with the development of their brains, they need to be taught when it is appropriate to talk to people. If they are clearly talking to someone else, whether it's in person or on a phone, they need to learn courtesy and patience enough to wait.

[allegro]

While I'm not saying this is necessarily a good way to threat children, you don't know anything about their situation other than what you observe at the store. I've witnessed countless times, with my sister and her kids, where the children CONSTANTLY interrupt for non-important things. It's one thing if the kid actually needs something important or is an emergency, but going along with the development of their brains, they need to be taught when it is appropriate to talk to people. If they are clearly talking to someone else, whether it's in person or on a phone, they need to learn courtesy and patience enough to wait.

IGNORING them is not the way to teach that. TELLING them what is unacceptable behavior is the way to teach that (and it doesn't give the rest of us a fucking migraine).

[Goldfoot]

IGNORING them is not the way to teach that. TELLING them what is unacceptable behavior is the way to teach that (and it doesn't give the rest of us a fucking migraine).

But you don't know how much of explaining may have gone on before the situation you witnessed. Again, I'm not blindly condoning this entire course of action, but I know that at a point you have to understand that the child KNOWS what you have said and is just testing to see how much you meant it. And when you are in public, they know the stakes are higher. They do. They may not be fully developed, but they are masters at manipulation in certain regards. A child will be told no by one parent and then immediately go ask another parent, or even a grandparent, for the same thing. They understand that the adults haven't had time to talk to each other about what is going on and they just want to hear the word "yes". So yes, in certain cases ignoring them may be the way to properly teach them.

[allegro]

Dude, I have god children in their 20s, I wasn't born yesterday, I ran a successful babysitting business for many years, and majored in Child Development in high school. I know all about what you're taking about, but that was NOT the situations I'm talking about. These weren't children; these were BABIES. None more than two years old.

These moms are DEAF to this. Honest. It's the new hip rich parenting method: ignore them, they are a fashion accessory like a Coach bag. Even when the kid is reaching out to topple a giant display at Crate and Barrel, no shit, I've seen it too many times.

My mom raised two kids as a single parent. And when she goes to a restaurant, she asks to sit where there are no kids.

If you want to teach your screaming misbehaving kids by ignoring them, you do that AT HOME and NOT in public.

[cashpiles (closed)]

Whaaa? Dude, they're just little kids, they don't know any better. This goes beyond life experience; biologically, their brains aren't fully developed. You can't fault them for that. Plus, at that age, bad behavior a lot of the time can be blamed on bad parenting, though, obviously, that's not always the case. Sometimes kids are just being kids, and they have no control of that. It's just where they are in their brain development.

That being said, every time I hear a kid screeching and throwing a giant temper tantrum in the middle of a store I feel like jumping out a window. I don't blame the kid, and really, I don't blame the parent, because I know even the most well-behaved kids can have their moments, but God damn does it drive me up a wall. I have sympathy, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

I think this has more to do with Western-style parenting. In China, according to the following article, parents have tremendous control over their children's behavior. Of course, the Chinese style also seems to require quite a bit more discipline and time on the parent's part.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...528698754.html

[Halo Infinity]

Whaaa? Dude, they're just little kids, they don't know any better. This goes beyond life experience; biologically, their brains aren't fully developed. You can't fault them for that. Plus, at that age, bad behavior a lot of the time can be blamed on bad parenting, though, obviously, that's not always the case. Sometimes kids are just being kids, and they have no control of that. It's just where they are in their brain development.

I'm actually talking about older children and teenagers that are rebellious, rambunctious, obnoxious, noisy and arrogant. I do get your point though, and have taken that into consideration. And you're right, bad parenting is often the blame, as I won't deny that either. Sorry about that though, as I did type that out of anger, but some parents really do allow their children and teenagers to be a pain in the ass to others as if they're never in the wrong.

That being said, every time I hear a kid screeching and throwing a giant temper tantrum in the middle of a store I feel like jumping out a window.

I actually get where you're coming from. As for me, that also makes me feel very awkward.

I don't blame the kid, and really, I don't blame the parent, because I know even the most well-behaved kids can have their moments, but God damn does it drive me up a wall. I have sympathy, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

Exactly. It's a good thing that you do, but I can see why it has that effect on you regardless.

Small children can't help it, and while current thought is that parents should not "give in" to tantrums (since that's why the kiddo throws them in the first place), it's just irritating as fuck to everyone around. Older than maybe 4 or 5, the kids should have enough discipline and self-control to not be whiny screaming brats. Those are the kids/parents that piss me off.

Exactly. I always thought that there was something wrong with that. Children will be belligerent, and there's no question about that either, but such predicaments will obviously aggravate everybody else surrounding you.

When a child or baby is doing that, no matter the age, the parents should remove the child. Period. That's the way it was for many generations, it's proper. That's why there are cry rooms in churches. My mother removed us, her mother removed her, it was always done, for good reason.

Agreed.

Manners aside, it's sad for me to see a young child desperately trying to communicate with his/her mother, while said mother has completely tuned him/her out. I don't give a shit what they're teaching parents, now, that's sending a clear and indelible message to the kid: my mother is abandoning me for her iPhone or her friends; she is not reliable. Meanwhile, I get a migraine from this drama unfolding in Macy's.

Damn, that's just fucked up. Good listening skills are important in any sort of relationship and that certainly includes the child/parent one.

[Aaron]

Whaaa? Dude, they're just little kids, they don't know any better. This goes beyond life experience; biologically, their brains aren't fully developed. You can't fault them for that. Plus, at that age, bad behavior a lot of the time can be blamed on bad parenting, though, obviously, that's not always the case. Sometimes kids are just being kids, and they have no control of that. It's just where they are in their brain development.

That being said, every time I hear a kid screeching and throwing a giant temper tantrum in the middle of a store I feel like jumping out a window. I don't blame the kid, and really, I don't blame the parent, because I know even the most well-behaved kids can have their moments, but God damn does it drive me up a wall. I have sympathy, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

[theruiner]

^^It was just a matter of time before someone brought Louis in here.

[Aaron]

Honestly, if you've ever read interviews with him, or especially if you listen to WTF With Marc Maron podcast (which is amazing, by the way) he talks, in depth, about how having kids completely revolutionized and resurrected his life. Never thought Louis would make me emotional, but I was downright crying by the end of this episode. . There are 8 parts total, but it's so worth it. If there was ever an argument for having kids, it's Louis CK's life and career since he had them. I'm still at the "fuck it, I'm too young to worry about that shit, fuck you" point in my life, but I can see myself going back to the conversation between Marc and Louis when I'm actually grappling with the decision.

[theruiner]

^^I've heard that whole interview and while, yes, it is awesome, it most certainly didn't even pull me in the direction of having kids.