The Relationship Thread

[muse-lyre candy]

A my first ex and I started talking fairly seriously again recently. We both kinda vented to each other how we were unhappy in our relationships at the time. We both wound up breaking up within the same week. Anyways, we're both single now. And there is still this chemistry between us. I would love to try a relationship again, kinda obvious since she was my first gf and she broke up with me. When she broke up with me, I was still a virgin to pretty much everything. She told me at the time that she felt I needed more life experience and to learn to love myself (I was incredibly pessimistic and self-destructive a few years ago). Anyways, would I be crazy to try things again with her? There's always been a part of me that's wanted to give it another go, then there's the part of me that thinks I should just keep her a friend.

I am able to kind of relate the ex's-reestablishing a friendship and then question the resume button on relationship.
in my case 'he' was my best friend. then we married and then we had kids and then things fell apart (not because of the kids, it was my developing a tolerance to his neg stimuli). after a cpl of yrs of being separated but maintaining that the kids come first road we remained amicable then the friendship returned.
the qualities i admired in 'him' before we were ever married are the same qualities i still admire in him today. then there are the things that i cannot tolerate for long durations of time when we hang out together with the kids (which is quite often).. those are the things that I'm grateful that i don't have to live with day to day inside my space.
i love the man. 'he' is my best friend. he is the father of our shared children (and a remarkable father at that). he will in a way remain a constant fixture in my life for the rest of my life.
going back to him and i being in relationship other than friendship and co-parenting; things are as perfect as they have ever been right where we are right now.
i'd prob suggest be wary of your intentions and remember the specifics in the 'why' she broke up with you then and how things would be 'different' in a now relationship
not sure if that helped any? good luck to you...
*in retrospect i should've known better; he wasn't a big fan of NIN. pfffft!

[Bachy]

i'd prob suggest be wary of your intentions and remember the specifics in the 'why' she broke up with you then and how things would be 'different' in a now relationship
not sure if that helped any? good luck to you...
*in retrospect i should've known better; he wasn't a big fan of NIN. pfffft!

Well, the initial break up was, as she explained it to me and how I understood it, was because I just wasn't ready at the time for a long term commitment. Which was true you could say. I was 26 at the time, but she was still the first girl I had really "dated," so while I was taking it day to day and looking at the present, she was looking to the future. I really had no direction at the time. So she told me at the time that she felt I needed to get more life experience and learn to love myself (at the time I wasn't the greatest fan of myself with absolutely zero self-confidence). Anyways, since then, I have been through a few different relationships and learned to go after what I truly want in life. Mainly, I want to take that next step. Since I've graduated and started work at my job, I've felt like I've kinda been just sitting in place. Not making any forward progress. So I've decided to move away from this to Colorado and start a new life to hopefully achieve some of the goals I set for myself career wise in college.

Anyways, an update, I asked her to move away with me, and she said yes.

[muse-lyre candy]

@Bachy
i wish you the best in your endeavors, happiness and healthiness in the makings of your new life together.
i am happy for you both.

your update made me smile. ty.