The Relationship Thread

[slave2thewage]

I'm drunk, so I only read half of that, but that is some depressing shit dude.

I left a link to Immigrant Song on my old flame's Facebook. My life, my choices...

[MAD]

I've been with the same girl for 5 years. I'm 22 and no, I haven't missed anything.

[mostlymad]

A long, difficult road of divorce, counseling, trying to patch things up with the ex, and about a year since it has been more than clear that me and the ex are no longer capable of any relationship at all. I don't miss anything about it anymore.

I have met someone for the first time since 2009 that really stirs something great in me. 2 dates in, and I'm feeling that chemically beautiful newness already. I could really do with a healthy relationship finally.

[Pillfred]

Girl I ended up sleeping (no sex) with last week ended up getting ahold of me last night and we wen't out for a drink and hung out at my place for a few hours chatting last night. Was nice to get a chance to talk to her when we both weren't hammered. Was kind of awkward being as we slept together the one night at my buddies place right after we just met. Wasn't sure how to go about things but she seems like a cool chick, didn't even mind hanging out in my sparsely furnished and very much unpacked apt. Not that I'm looking to get super involved atm but it was nice to chill.

[Fixer808]

Things are looking up for ol' Liz Lemon.

[Dra508]

Things are looking up for ol' Liz Lemon.

heh heh, I thought you were talking about me. I need to get that avatar back. But, yeah - UP and DOWN relative to this thread.

[mostlymad]

What is this "taking things slow" I've gotten myself into now? I definitely have been out of the dating world one hell of a long time for this gender-role reversal. Since when did a boy ever go slow? Did I miss something these last 14 years of either being married or hooking up with old friends? I'm going slowly because I really think he's very special, but if it were up to me, I'd speed it up just a little. Very strange.

[halloween]

Botley! That is quite a story but i'm glad things ended up working out for the best, despite how painful it was. Do you keep contact still with her at all? Or was it a complete break?

[botley]

Botley! That is quite a story but i'm glad things ended up working out for the best, despite how painful it was. Do you keep contact still with her at all? Or was it a complete break?

We are still friends, and keep in touch via text; occasionally we'll video chat as as well. It feels much nicer having that level of contact with a friend you're happy to hear from, rather than with a significant other whom you feel obligated to keep tabs on. That can feel very restrictive and even breed resentment when it doesn't live up to the kind of contact you want to be having with them. I found that part of the long-distance relationship to be its most sucky and frustrating aspect, even more so than the lack of actual sex (which is clearly something I eventually adjusted to).

She's coming back to visit over Christmas for the first time since departing Canada last year. I'm going to see if she'll want to hang out for an afternoon and maybe catch Dragon Tattoo in the big digital theatre downtown. Last movie went to see together as a date was The Social Network in Kings Cross, and our first date was after a NIN show in 2005!

[halloween]

... It feels much nicer having that level of contact with a friend you're happy to hear from, rather than with a significant other whom you feel obligated to keep tabs on. That can feel very restrictive and even breed resentment when it doesn't live up to the kind of contact you want to be having with them. I found that part of the long-distance relationship to be its most sucky and frustrating aspect, even more so than the lack of actual sex (which is clearly something I eventually adjusted to)...

Ugh no kidding, i had a long distance (3 year) relationship and this was probably what ultimately caused the demise of our relationship. We still talk every so often and it's still pretty relaxed and nice.

Contact with a recent sort-of-but-not-technically-but-still-kinda ex has been less graceful...unfortunately. Things ended on a good note and i wanted to stay friends, but he didn't so i backed off and today he contacted me and we talked. And it was..frustrating having to explain myself. Did not end on such a good note... We were never official and the fact that he demanded more of an explanation than my 3 year ex did...well i don't know, let's just say i guess it was a good idea i ended things when i did.

[slave2thewage]

Liz is so my life model right now.

[Torgo]

I'm going to sound like a spoiled cunt, but my boyfriend got me a Kindle Fire for Christmas, and to be honest - I don't think I can stand the layout and how limited it is. I'm either going to completely root it with a separate launcher or tell him it's not worth spending so much money on me. I feel sort of bad... but I'm super anal when it comes to technology and customizing things for personal use. Plus, if I'm not going to enjoy it, I don't want it to be money that he wasted. Does this sound reasonable to bring up to him or am I an utterly over-pampered prick?

[theruiner]

I think it's perfectly reasonable. I got into a huge fight with an ex years ago over this exact thing. The way I see it, you've either got two choices- keep it and lie to him and pretend you like it when you really don't (in which case he wasted two hundred bucks) or just be honest with him and nicely tell him you appreciate the thought but it's really not your thing. I'd much rather someone be honest with me and let me know they don't dig what I got them than have them lie to my face and pretend they like it to spare my feelings. My take on it is, hey, if you don't like it, by all means get something else instead. If I'm buying a present for someone it's because I want them to enjoy it. If I goofed and got the wrong thing, I'd rather they go back and get something they like. That's the entire point of giving them a gift.

Not sure if it'll work out, but that's my take on it.

[Lunatica]

Secretly I would kill for an iPad right now so I understand your pain. It's really the only thing out there that's really good to read with because of the no glaring and the page turning not blinking and ruining my eyes. And of course you have the option to yarrr books.

I have my priorities straight though. And at least he's finally moving out of his parents house. And we are buying house stuff... and planing on a nice trip. *sigh*

I want an iPad, dammit!

[con4cyn]

Basically, I'm in "fuck it" mode. I suck at relationships. I fuck them all up and down, and leave the money on the dresser when I'm done. I'm focusing on school dammit. Even if I'm horny. Hmph!

[Sarah K]

I just had a actual, legitimate first date for the first time in like three years. And it was hands down the best first date that I've ever had... I forgot how this shit feels.

It feels like you're 14.

[Space Suicide]

I just had a actual, legitimate first date for the first time in like three years. And it was hands down the best first date that I've ever had... I forgot how this shit feels.

It feels like you're 14.

Dates and dating is (and always should be) super fun. I haven't been on a date in awhile actually. Gr.

[icklekitty]

"I'm coming to town for 48 hours. Clear your diary. It's a surprise"
"Yaaay"

*looks down*

Someone drench me in Veet.

[allegro]

Health Insurance.

Welcome to America.

[botley]

Health Insurance.

Welcome to America.

Heheh. Marriage, the oldest and greatest going-out-of-business sale.

[allegro]

Haha, that was in 2005!

[botley]

Haha, that was in 2005!

So I fucked up and wrote four-and-a-half year relationship in my OP but it's actually closer to six years.

[allegro]

Yup! http://www.last.fm/event/126567+Nine...+November+2005

[botley]

Yeah, that's the one... did you two drive to Montreal the same night? We went straight to Ein•stein on College Street, and that's probably where I called you when it became clear things were happening.

[allegro]

Nope, next morning, with Monkey Pharmacy, a very nice gentleman who entertained me with stories the entire trip, and he got out to pump gas. VeraLynn slept because she gets car sick. (She and I still text each other, btw, she's doing great.)

[botley]

Nope, next morning, with Monkey Pharmacy, a very nice gentleman who entertained me with stories the entire trip, and he got out to pump gas. VeraLynn slept because she gets car sick. (She and I still text each other, btw, she's doing great.)

That's cool. I remember hearing about that guy at the time... NIN tours bring people together, it's a wonderful thing.

[allegro]

I met the most AWESOME people at that Toronto show, sitting next to me, including a hippy dude who named his kid after Ron Asheton of the Stooges, so many cool people I almost moved to Canada. :-) Oh, and the Montreal people were so AWESOME, too, SO nice, all over the city.

Anyway, yeah, sorry that relationship didn't work out, dude, but at least you have some funny memories. :-)

edit: Lunatica, you should demand that he buy you an iPad. You're worth it.

[Lunatica]

edit: Lunatica, you should demand that he buy you an iPad. You're worth it.

Oh he would get it for me, that's the problem! He loves spending money on me! but yeah, there's all sorts of priorities right now, I don't think we can afford it just yet. But, yeah, if it was up to him he'd gotten me one already.

I know that's weird behavior coming from a woman but trust me, it's good to have long term goals, I thrive on it. We are buying house stuff, moving and planing on a cruise ship to Alaska next year! It's gonna be awesome.

Honestly, right now I'm just bored because I'm not really doing anything. An iPad would only fill the void momentarily.

[botley]

Indeed. I remember most of it very fondly! If the OP is depressing, that's only because it all came to a very sad ending and I had to explain why, but I'm certainly more inclined to dwell on the great times we had together than anything else... I guess in a way it boils down to me choosing to stay in Canada over being with her. Canada just is that awesome.

[allegro]

Things happen for a reason, dude. Not to be too Buddhist about the whole thing, but sometimes people are in our "path" who aren't supposed to be the final destination.