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Faceplams: Today after class I waved at her as she was walking towards the exit. She responded with a loud "good bye!" from across the hall. Progress, fuck yeah!
Stubby Member
Today after class I waved at her as she was walking towards the exit. She responded with a loud "good bye!" from across the hall. Progress, fuck yeah!
Administrator
Active Member
While some of Kenny from Louisville's comments were pretty off base, I gotta go back to the original advice he was giving. Fixer808 was not happy, but willing to sit on the side lines and let his girl go back to her X and work shit out.Under the chest puffing, I sort of agree. You deserve better Fixer808. You two sounded like you were in a good whirlwind fucking romance and she just pulls over all of a sudden? I say respect yourself for the good fun guy you are (OMG the creative stuff you write here you should be on Team Coco) and tell this chick that you'll only wait so long then you are back on the highway looking for another friend to ride with.Originally Posted by Kenny Smith
I've finally learned that yes, I don't want a guy who is going to be easily pushed around. I've a strong personality, but I want someone who will stand up to me. Not fold and agree with everything. It's not exactly "don't respect wuzzy men", but Kenny just isn't quite eloquent to say that women are looking for men who is an equal partner.
Bite me
I think in Fixer's case, she was still dealing with the fallout from the breakup and has to clean up that mess before she can move forward. In her defense, having possibly BEEN her, she isn't necessarily intending to hurt Fixer; she's just doing what she feels she has to do right now, to protect herself. If the ex is anything like my manipulative, emotionally abusive ex husband, you and Kenny just don't get it and are totally off base. At any rate, Fixer seems to know the score and didn't seem to be asking for advise.
I don't know what a "wussy" man is, but my ex was macho, pushy, controlling asshole, and I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than to live with a fucking asshole like that ever again.
Fixer had no choice in this matter. He did the only thing he could do: let her go. That was his only option. She's gone. Assuming he's sitting at home waiting for her to come back, thereby being a pussy, is conjecture that you guys invented. Again, projecting.
This same scenario happens to women all the time: guy leaves to go back to an ex; woman gets "friend-zoned."
Last edited by allegro; 02-08-2012 at 09:23 PM.
Bite me
Haaaaaaaa ha ha that's fucking brilliant!!
Hairy Member
Thank you so fucking much for posting this! I made a HUGE rant yesterday on my facebook about that quote going around on the walls of some of my pathetic male friends. Now I know where it comes from. Some douche on Craiglist.
Woman: "What ever happened to nice guys?"
Douche Bag on Craiglist: "You"
OMFG THAT'S SO REFRESHING TO HEAR!!!!!!!!!
GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Active Member
The whole going back to the ex thing doesn't jib with me personally. I know it happens all the time and I was even told by a friend that they would have lost the bet that I didn't go back and even just slip and fall back into bed with my husband. I guess I'm in the school of you said you're done, you're done. Kind of like quitting a job and then agreeing to go back. There's a reason you quit in the first place, you really want to go back?
Bite me
Example: If the relationship wasn't normal, he's emotionally abusive, she's been abused by him for a long time and doesn't understand or know how to get away from him, and he's telling her that if she doesn't come back, he'll commit suicide. Fixer said this girl's friends don't like this ex at all; to me, this implies that this guy is manipulative or possibly abusive.
But, sometimes she/he goes back for good reasons, all of which are personal and it works out. Just because you can't imagine it with your current ex doesn't mean we should judge this girl we don't even know, assuming all kinds of bad things and suggesting that Fixer treat her like shit because "that's what women really want" or whatever.
Last edited by allegro; 02-09-2012 at 09:04 AM.
Stubby Member
Weird thing? Of all my friends, generally it seems to be the guy who goes back to the girl the second she snaps her fingers. I've noticed more of a 'fuck him, he's worthless' attitude amongst the girls who were 'dumped' so to speak, whereas my male friends over the years have seemed to jump at the chance to get back together when they were the one dumped.
The Enhancer
I do APPRECIATE advice, don't get me wrong... And no, I'm not sitting at home in the dark crying into my schnapps. Going out to fetish night this weekend, for example. I do have feelings for her, and I'm willing to give her some time to think and either end things with me or him. That said, I'm not going to still be standing in the back yard six months from now, waiting for her to come happily skipping over the meadow in a sun-dress, because is real world.
Opportunities knock, and if one does I'm not going to say "sorry, I'm just waiting for someone to make up her mind, call back in a couple weeks".
Banned
anytime i really love someone i always end up fucking it up for no reason. the most recent one i dont think ican ever forgive myself for
Throbbing Member
Helping my soon to be ex find a place to live since our daughter will be living there part time. Despite really, REALLY hating this process I am trying so very hard not to go into it with pretense and attitude.
Flaccid Member
Here's a story of being a stalker like a boss:
Some of you might remember a girl I talked about. At that point we'd known each other online for 3 months or so. To summarize it quickly: We madly dug each other but she has mad self confidence issues and was afraid to meet me.
Long story short, this went on for a total of 8 months. I tried to get to know other girls during that time, but I simply couldn't. Compared to her everyone I met during that time seemed very bland, and I had no interest in getting to know another person deeply for the time being. So I stuck around and we were in a semi-friendzone (meaning that we didn't do more than normal friends would do, but we both knew that if it wasn't for her fear, we would be fucking at that moment).
So yesterday I had this stupid idea. Let's be a total creep and show up at her work and see how it goes. Maybe show her that I find her awesome in real life too!
And I actually did it. God, I've never been so terrified in my entire life. Apart from the fact that I was terrified of meeting her for the first time, the fact that there were other people around and would witness my stalking was quite something.
Well this is how it went: I went there and asked people where she was. Nobody knew so I just waited outside (freezing my ass off for a solid 30 minutes in order to make sure I could catch her before she left). Then one of her coworkers came out and I asked for her. The coworker said "Oh she just went out back" and raced off to catch her. I waited about a minute.
Then I saw her. She looked at me with this face: O_O, said "Oh god no" and ran away, screaming a variety of things like "go away" or "I don't want to talk to you". She ran through the building which was pretty much a maze, but I followed her until we were outside in the parking lot of her company. Since the whole place was sealed off and only she had a key to go back inside, she must've realized that she now either had to face me or she had to let me stand in that parking lot and die or wait until one of her coworkers came outside where I would've had to explain the situation. So basically she gave in and drove me home. Hell, was she mad. But you could clearly see that this was only because she too was terrified. She kept swearing at me the whole way home. I only managed to get in a couple of sentences, but whenever I said something she was about to laugh, but couldn't since her emotions were conflicting.
When she dropped me off at home, I asked her for a hug. She looked at me and said "No, I smell like old grandpas" (she works in a nursery), so I got out of the car and just said "See you later".
Well, as was to expected, I didn't hear from her again until just now. Apparently all of her friends now think I'm an asshole (well what I did was pretty bad, but it was the last thing I could pull before finally saying goodbye to her forever) and she's unsure if she still likes me or not. Still, she said she is not opposed to the idea of going out with me anymore. All in all, I hope to be in bed with her within the next two weeks or so
Active Member
That might be the single most disturbing thing I've ever read on this forum. Holy shit.
Active Member
jehuty, that sound pretty fucked up.
Leave the poor girl alone. The idea that she has confidence issues somehow gives you the right to scare the hell out of her and persue her in ways she has made perfectly clear she doesn't want to be pursued in isn't just creepy, it's psychotic.
You chased her through her place of work??!?!!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!!?!?!?!?!?
Throbbing Member
I'm having a hard time figuring out which one of you two is the bigger psycho. Good to know that it's possible to build a relationship based largely on abject terror. Well played and keep us updated.
Flaccid Member
Meh... you don't get it.
She's happy I did it. She didn't say it yet, but I know she is. As of right now, we're chatting with each other again like nothing bad happened. It was painful, and I'm sure the amount of terror I've gone through for it was worse then her one minute of panic (the time between she seeing me and me sitting in her car was really short).
Did I have the right to do it? I don't know, but I don't think that matters now. What was the worst thing that could happen to her? Obviously if she says "go the fuck away" and then goes into her car and drives away, I'm going to leave her alone. The worst thing that could happen to her was for her to panic a little.
By the way, that idea of self confidence issues isn't just an idea. She has plainly told me so many times. One time she said, word by word, "I would fuck you right now if I wasn't so afraid" (a little less obscene, it's all in German).
Last edited by jehuty; 02-11-2012 at 09:25 AM.
Active Member
Well, that's going to be a healthy relationship.
Active Member
Only on ETS.
Administrator
You're an asshole.Here's a story of being a stalker like a boss:
Some of you might remember a girl I talked about. At that point we'd known each other online for 3 months or so. To summarize it quickly: We madly dug each other but she has mad self confidence issues and was afraid to meet me.
Long story short, this went on for a total of 8 months. I tried to get to know other girls during that time, but I simply couldn't. Compared to her everyone I met during that time seemed very bland, and I had no interest in getting to know another person deeply for the time being. So I stuck around and we were in a semi-friendzone (meaning that we didn't do more than normal friends would do, but we both knew that if it wasn't for her fear, we would be fucking at that moment).
So yesterday I had this stupid idea. Let's be a total creep and show up at her work and see how it goes. Maybe show her that I find her awesome in real life too!
And I actually did it. God, I've never been so terrified in my entire life. Apart from the fact that I was terrified of meeting her for the first time, the fact that there were other people around and would witness my stalking was quite something.
Well this is how it went: I went there and asked people where she was. Nobody knew so I just waited outside (freezing my ass off for a solid 30 minutes in order to make sure I could catch her before she left). Then one of her coworkers came out and I asked for her. The coworker said "Oh she just went out back" and raced off to catch her. I waited about a minute.
Then I saw her. She looked at me with this face: O_O, said "Oh god no" and ran away, screaming a variety of things like "go away" or "I don't want to talk to you". She ran through the building which was pretty much a maze, but I followed her until we were outside in the parking lot of her company. Since the whole place was sealed off and only she had a key to go back inside, she must've realized that she now either had to face me or she had to let me stand in that parking lot and die or wait until one of her coworkers came outside where I would've had to explain the situation. So basically she gave in and drove me home. Hell, was she mad. But you could clearly see that this was only because she too was terrified. She kept swearing at me the whole way home. I only managed to get in a couple of sentences, but whenever I said something she was about to laugh, but couldn't since her emotions were conflicting.
When she dropped me off at home, I asked her for a hug. She looked at me and said "No, I smell like old grandpas" (she works in a nursery), so I got out of the car and just said "See you later".
Well, as was to expected, I didn't hear from her again until just now. Apparently all of her friends now think I'm an asshole (well what I did was pretty bad, but it was the last thing I could pull before finally saying goodbye to her forever) and she's unsure if she still likes me or not. Still, she said she is not opposed to the idea of going out with me anymore. All in all, I hope to be in bed with her within the next two weeks or so
Stubby Member
And if she says no, you can just make her, after all, obviously, you know better what she needs than she does. I mean, she might panic a little, but so what, right?ll in all, I hope to be in bed with her within the next two weeks or so
Then again, girls with self-confidence issues usually go for assholes, so it might just be the beginning of something beautifully twisted.
Throbbing Member
Tell it to the judge.
God is an American
I'm sure that the "terror" jehuty experienced was a bone fide cakewalk compared to the prison term he may soon be facing.
Flaccid Member
Old ets used to have "pulling a chainer", ladies & gentlemen get ready for the new ets flavor of "pulling a jehuty".
The Enhancer
Holy shit-burgers, that's hella disturbing.
Flaccid Member
You guys are being major idiots.
Maybe I portrayed something the wrong way, but she's not bothered by it at all right now, yet you make it sound like I'm a rapist or that I somehow directly offended all of you.
Active Member
Really? You can read her mind?
You interpret her fear of you as self confidence issues? If she's smart, she'll get a restraining order issued on you.
Active Member
Listen to me, jehuty. Just...ssshhh. Sshh. Stop. Ok. You two don't need to be seeing each other right now; you need to be seeing therapists. In no way- none- is it ever, ever, ever ok to do what you did. From showing up at this woman's work to chasing her THROUGH THE BUILDING (especially as she was telling you she wanted you to leave her alone) to refusing to leave, this is all crazy territory. This is not normal. If she's "ok" with it, then that's even worse, because she can't see how incredibly insane your behavior is. You have serious mental issues and you need help before you hurt someone.
Last edited by theruiner; 02-11-2012 at 05:22 PM.
desperately chilled
j, there is no way you can spin that to make it seem like it's anything but a psychotic episode, worthy of a restraining order and a serious re-evaluation of your morals.
Flaccid Member
And I think you need to see a real psychotic person before you shout out shit like that. What the fuck is wrong with you.
She spoke to her friends and her mother about it and while they agree that what I did was asshole-ish (I'm not denying that, it was an extreme measure), they say it was completely understandable and practically a matter of time before it happened, considering our relationship up to that moment. Maybe you don't get what it means to talk to a person every day for multiple hours for 8 months without being able to see that person in real life, but you obviously are not in a place to completely judge my (and her) situation and call me psychotic, or imply shit like me belonging in jail.
Seriously, what's wrong with you?
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