This Cannot Continue
So things are going as i expected. The fallout of my grandad's passing has hit my nan hard. Her dementia has gotten so bad in just a week she cannot remember he has actually passed away, or that my sister has giving birth (though that has been the good news, the birth went OK and mum and daughter are both healthy thankfully) She is also repeatedly saying she wants to die with him...we're not sure how long she'll last without him
Active Member
I'm so sorry to hear that @Haysey That is really tough
This Cannot Continue
Thank you, things really aren't great right now but there are some sliver linings.Originally Posted by ickyvicky
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
Next week I was set to have my first full hour time slot instead of a lightning round or panel at an academic conference. And they just cancelled it because of fucking Coronavirus. COME. ON.
I'm only in an MS program, and it's HARD AS FUCK to break that barrier to be a featured speaker as a PhD candidate... let alone as a lowly Master's student.
My PhD application cycle will be in about six months, and I'm not sure if I'll get another opportunity like this, as we are midway through the semester so the next two months my focus will have to be on final papers. And during the summer, GRE prep... I was really banking on this to give me an edge on my applications.
I'm working with a professor to turn a couple of research papers into pieces worthy of submission to academic journals. She is confident that I will have at least one piece under review, and maybe accepted in time. But holy shit being able to put this on my CV would have been an absolutely huge advantage for me. I've been prepping for months.
FKDHJKHJVSNKJSDN
Active Member
That really blows. I'm sorry. I understand the PhD rat race.
That does seem ridic for an interview panel process. A whole massive sweaty music crowd? Sure, but a composed, collected audience who can keep their distance and wash their hands.... that just sucks. Good luck.
Throbbing Member
My wife noticed a lump at the top of her right breast two weekends ago and got in to see a doctor late last week. The appointment was quick and the doctor flat out said she didn't know what it was and they'd schedule a radiology appointment ASAP.
She had that appointment on Wednesday where it was discovered she has a bunch of cysts in both breasts along with another lump in her left. The doctor was concerned about both of the non-cyst lumps and had biopsies done on both.
The results came back around 9:30 am today. It's cancer in both. The left is ductal carcinoma in situ which is "good" because it hasn't yet spread from the milk ducts and is easy to control and eliminate. The right is invasive ductal carcinoma meaning it has spread from the milk ducts and is growing. It may have spread to lymph nodes but we don't know yet if it has. The doctor said that despite this, it was still caught early so it's promising.
She's got an MRI on Tuesday and then a surgical consult on Friday and we'll know more then. In the meantime, her OB/GYN called and said she has to stop taking birth control immediately due to the hormones impacting her breasts and she's going in for an IUD installation (not sure what the word is) on Monday.
It's been a fucking day.
she/her/hers
that is fucking awful. i'm so sorry. fingers crossed she pulls through all this and everything comes out peachy. hoping you have good health insurance. love to you both <3
Active Member
yeah, that's a fucked up day. Jesus. I hope everything goes well for you and your wife.
Active Member
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how horrible that must feel. I hope her treatment is swift and effective. I hope the best for you both.
Bite me
@klyrish it’s good that they caught it so early; I have many friends who fought breast cancer and beat it. Thinking positive thoughts for your wife in her battle. You, too!
Trollhunter
I’m glad it was caught early and I hope your wife has a speedy recovery. Sorry you’re going through this.
Throbbing Member
Oh no, I'm so sorry. All the best to you and your wife, that is so scary.
Throbbing Member
Thanks, all. I appreciate it. We decided to take a timeout this weekend and just be lazy, eat poorly, and drink a lot of wine since this is likely the end of normalcy for a while. Reality starts up again tomorrow.
This Cannot Continue
So this year just keeps hitting me down...
After losing my grandad (which was difficult enough) my mother choose toi move in with my gran alone with my sister, so they told their landlord they are out at the end of their lease in July and reduced her hours. My gran has now decided she wants to live alone and move into a flat because living there is too painful, so my mother has fucked herself...and blaming everyone else. The family are now at each others throats and we haven't even had the funeral. Speaking of which...
The funeral is Monday, but it's looking like the UK will be in lockdown by then. I have no idea what happens then, but it's sounding like we'll lose a large chunk of the money paid for it. So far it's cost over £4k, which was paid for by the sale of my grandads car. None of us have the money to repay for another funeral...
Speaking of the lock down, i'm now panicking about my job thanks to our office basically saying the group cannot operate in a lock down. My dept can, but the group won't and as such we could be looking at reduced wages even if we're working. This hasn't been helped by my landlord upping my electricity rates, so if i'm suck at home i'll be even worse off...
The one bit of good news, my niece being born just after my garnddad died, has now taken a turn as she is currently being tested for Downs Syndrome. I can't even go and see them as my sister is now is self isolation. As is my dad now after developing a new cough, and he is in the risk group...
And everything i had planned to do with my friend before she moved to canada in June has now been cancelled. I'm not even sure i'll get to see her before she goes now.
...i'd just like something to go right this year. Just ONE thing.
she/her/hers
sorry, @Haysey
hope things get better soon <3
Active Member
My internet is dead. Repair person not coming out until Sunday morning. FML.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
Man. I'm quick to unfriend people on facebook or whatever without thinking too much of it. I had unfriended someone like a month ago and we were on a group Zoom call together a couple of weeks ago and she was... not doing well. Drinking straight from the bottle, basically got naked, filled her hand with Klonopin and asked if she should take them all, etc. Then at the end of the call as we were getting ready to hang up after like 4 hours, she was like SARAH I LOVE YOU. And I was like "Haha yeah" thinking it's just drunk I love you time. But then she kept rambling on and I couldn't really understand what she was saying, and what I could hear was confusing. Then one of our other friends asked if I had unfriended her. And I said yes. Again, not thinking it's a big deal. The call ended shortly after that.
While I know that this wasn't the only thing that was going on, she was genuinely upset about it. I made a note to myself to check in with her in a couple of days to be sure she was okay. I never fucking did it.
One of the other friends reached out to her partner a couple of days ago because she was MIA. Today he got back in touch and said she tried to kill herself last Wednesday by taking a shitload of insulin. She's still in the ICU. On dialysis, can't feel or move her legs, one of her eyes is fucked up because of the way she was passed out it was open for hours, her brain is swollen, they did an MRI and she had a stroke. He's not sure what is temporary and what is permanent. Can't visit because of Coronavirus. Can't get in touch with people at the hospital to give him updates because I imagine most hospitals are overtaxed right now.
Fuck. Now she's in there all alone.
Active Member
Yesterday I found out my cousin is stopping dialysis. Basically she's done. I forget what she has but it's some auto immune disease. She's already had 2 livers and a kidney and needs both currently. I guess she found out she's off the donor list last month and decided to essentially call it. She's a few years older than me 47(?). Shits intense. I get it she's been sick her whole life but still it's tough. My moms and sister are going to visit on Friday to see her before she dies as she has maybe a couple weeks left. As I said I get it but still the whole thing has me a bit fucked up. The one up side is I feel like I made the right choice moving near my immediate family this last go. Hopefully I can see her one more time. Be safe out there people, family of any kind are what really matters.
Active Member
I'm so sorry :-(
Stubby Member
Well, I was ready to post a whiney-ass comment in this thread about my fucked up day, but decided to read a few pages of previous posts, and now I have a new found perspective. Although my day was quite disappointing, it's not really anything I should be complaining about.
she/her/hers
Last edited by eversonpoe; 06-12-2020 at 04:13 PM.
Bite me
You’re grieving. This is part of the awful process. If you can go be with family right now, do so. Even if they annoy the shit out of you.
Administrator
what about self care? exercise, warm bath? these sound trival when your upset but i do think self care is the way to go when your feelings are overwhelming. sending love to your heart.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
tempus est umbra in mente
I did take a bath earlier and listen to ambient music after eating a bunch of edibles, and it helped
Administrator
sounds good to me. hope you’re feeling better.
Administrator
when i’ve had panic attacks, i use the 54321 method. it’s about your senses. identify 5 things you can see, four things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste. it’s a ground technique.
here’s some info: https://www.google.com/amp/s/insight...technique/amp/
she/her/hers
grounding techniques have been instrumental for me in helping quell panic attacks. step 1) recognize you're having a panic attack. 2) know that you can sever the panic cycle at any point, but only with conscious effort; and it's not easy. 3) use grounding techniques to help pull you out and keep you in reality instead of inside your head; saying them out loud can also be super helpful, because it will help regulate your breathing.
this has been maxwell's class on the panic cycle.
tempus est umbra in mente
yes, well... it all makes sense on paper. Trying out anything that anyone says works. Some things might be working... I'm thinking I might need to just go to a hospital if this doesn't stop.
I can't describe what it feels like, and it comes and goes, and when it gets bad right now it's like I'm falling off a cliff and I can't even make a sound.
Administrator
it’s true. it’s hard to remember when you’re actually having a panic attack too. i had to save it on my phone during a bad period a few years ago but at some point it worked for me. i’ll never forget the first time it worked for me. anytime my chest gets tight, i start looking around for the things i can see. it’s like i retrained my brain to do this as a coping mechanism. i’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much. i hope you feel better and seek help when you need to. does your doctor have a nurses line? they might be able to help you with out going to the hospital.
Active Member
Side note: what if it's pitch black because you're trying to sleep? I just got a CPAP machine and the first few nights with the full-face mask was terrifying so I was switched to a nose mask instead. Not much better but at least I don't wake up clawing at my face. or with the mask in two pieces, one in each hand and no clue how that happened.
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