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Faceplams: I must be giving off a needy vibe. Second night out of two I am being stood up/flaked on.
Active Member
I must be giving off a needy vibe. Second night out of two I am being stood up/flaked on.
Quiet Member
I don't have a thing with public bathrooms or anything, but this has been happening a lot lately and it drives me crazy. When I'm in a stall or a standalone room and the door is locked, and someone comes barging over and tries to open the door with a herculean force, and/or tries several times to jiggle the door handle. Like they are absolutely baffled that it's locked. No, there's just someone in here. Relax your shit. Now I'm going to take even longer and play games on my phone you fuck.
Bite me
I already hate Facebook but I'm on there because my aunt and a few of my cousins and my husband and some of my husband's friends and old bandmates are on there. But via FB I found out that one of my oldest friends is a really stupid conservative. And she loves Kid Rock. And she has an equally ignorant loud mouth redneck cousin. Today, I couldn't hack it, anymore, and I unfriended her. Some part of me feels relieved, but another part of me feels bad because we're old friends. Fucking Facebook. Ugh. Why can't my relatives use EMAIL?!?!??!?!
tempus est umbra in mente
An old friend of mine friended me on Facebook, and I found out that she's now married, has kids, and is now a hardcore conservative Christian type who likes to involve her children in anti-abortion rallies outside of clinics to guilt pregnant women into finding jesus. She hates liberals, is so proud that her kids realize how stupid liberals are, and loves Tim Tebow.Originally Posted by allegro
Thankfully, she got fed up with the heathen atheist cabal of Facebook, and took her mission elsewhere. It was still such a shock though... back in the day she was a partier, suddenly she's encouraging her friends with young children to get their kids purity rings. "If your child is in public school, we need to give them the courage to stand up to their liberal satanic teachers and say 'no, I will not let you tell me that my parents are monkeys!' and maybe demand a little more time on the scripture!"
She may have not been the brightest bulb, but holy shit.
Now I'm 0000
Thanks for giving me more reasons to stay away from Facebook. Yeesh.
Active Member
Forgot on Friday that 1D were playing Wembley Stadium and got swamped on train to work with tweeny 1D fans!
Will not make that mistake tonight.
Active Member
Last night I went alone to what ended up being a totally rad anarcho-punk-folk house concert, met a bunch of interesting people, and had a really cool night out.
BUT I will say that flakery, flaking out, blowing off plans at the 12th hour, "going home" at 8:00pm, not answering the phone or text or email when we had arranged to hang out is just fucking rude. Unforgiveable in my book. Fuck that shit.
I always thought being a flake was a NYC thing: in small town it's 1000% worse.
Bite me
It is. It is no matter where it happens. It's unforgivably rude and immature.
Throbbing Member
I kind of feel the need to defend myself here. Not for the being off the grid part, I always tekst, but with the combined anxiety and depression, at best I've managed to keep 50% of my appointments. I don't like this about myself, don't get me wrong, but I think wanting to kill yourself at odd hours of the night might actually be a proper excuse.
Active Member
People flake everywhere, but in small towns it completely kills everything. If you've got plans with someone and they bail, there's literally NOTHING else to do. The town I used to live in had a population of about 7000, was spread WAY out, and had NOTHING for entertainment. There was a theater for a while, but closed down because the owner moved to a bigger, more profitable town. After that the only source of entertainment was a bar. A bar. So if you went there without a pre-planned group, you were just drinking with retirees and drug dealers and bikers and various combinations of those groups. Fucking AWFUL. At least in a city there are plenty of things you can still do alone if your friends bail.
Active Member
Do you actually say that or do you just say "oh, I forgot", "oh I haven't left home yet"?
Captain Rustleboots
I don't think it matters, it's a lack of common decency IMO
Active Member
I think if someone says "I'm really sorry I can't make it tonight, massive panic attack and I feel like I'm going to be sick" then it's different to someone just being a cunt.
Throbbing Member
It depends on who it is, actually. All my family, friends and coworkers know about the depression, so I will say something along the lines of 'Very bad day, sorry but I won't be able to make it' or 'Can't leave the house - you're welcome to come here' if that's a possibilty.
But when it's like an appointment with a dentist or something, I will in fact lie and feign a sudden illness. Mental illness still isn't something you talk about casually, I've found.
I know it's horrible, but the alternative would be to never make any plans ever again. I'm always annoyed when people - like mister parente up there - just assume that decency > health.
Throbbing Member
I heard this recently "Facebook is like the living room"- it's a good place to just have loose contact with people. The context of that quote was talking about kids using other mobile specific apps because "their parents aren't on it". Twitter is like the bedroom apparently, hahah. To me, forums are my playing areas! FB is a tool that can be used in different ways but people can easily misuse it. On FB you see people talk about what they want as opposed to have a Topic in a forum or even in an email, you know you're not going to talk about sports when you're emailing that cousin that you know doesn't care. It's fascinating seeing how people's communications are affected by different technology. I'm still a fan of letters though the only person that tends to write back to my letters is my grandmother. My friends will text saying "thanks for the letter" and I resist saying "Fuck you, write one back!!"
Last edited by halloween; 06-09-2014 at 07:54 AM.
Bite me
So long as you let friends/coworkers know in SOME way. I just don't GET these people who stand people up without saying ANYTHING. I mean, really, have you ever been the one sitting there waiting? Wondering if it's you, or if maybe something bad happened to this person, then wondering if it's you again, then wondering if it's ok to leave, then wondering if you leave and then this person shows up after you leave what will happen? yeah ... text and lie, or don't make plans, because standing someone up with no call or text or anything is a REALLY mean selfish thing to do. A friend did that to me and G and another friend once and I wanted to fucking KILL HIM.
I think Facebook is more like the gas station.
I wish I could write, again, but I can't even read my own handwriting, anymore.
Last edited by allegro; 06-09-2014 at 12:02 PM.
Active Member
Stuff like medical/dental appointments I don't count. Having worked in that field, it's pretty much normal not to have patients show up. Like dinner reservations - tell your friend but if you don't tell the restaurant no biggie *hides from all the Americans who are waiters*.
Active Member
I also can't stand really flakey behavior. Moderately flakey? Fine. As in: You TELL ME before you don't show up. That I can deal with. I do that too, as someone who is busy and introverted.
Repeatedly saying (I'm sorry, if it's a small event "attending" MEANS YOU'RE ATTENDING on Facebook) nothing and never showing or ever commenting on it? Yeah, no.
Active Member
Also, I will say "I don't feel well." when I'm too depressed for something. It's just as legit and fuck the mentality that it isn't.
Bite me
In my area, the doctors and dentists (and even sometimes hair stylists) charge you if you don't give 24 hour notice.
Throbbing Member
Flakey behavior is terrible. I had a good friend who's friendship I cherished but I had to quit trying. I called, I texted, and I let her know when I was in town because I wanted to see her. The two times I got response was "It's snowing, I don't want to leave my house" and "I'm in New Orleans". Other times when she probably were around, no answer. I saw FB posts all the time for her self promotion of shows and art stuff. I got so pissed that she was being so self centered that I had to let it go. She doesn't value me as much clearly so I'm done trying. I didn't unfriend her because if she were to reach out, I'd probably explain my feelings but forgive her and be happy she cares again. I did however stop "following" her, THANK GOD for that option. I've been grieving as if it's a break up, having dreams even of her. I hate this, I don't make close friends liberally so when I lose one, it hurts.
Active Member
Elke and others, I hear what you are saying. I don't think that's what's going on, but I certainly like to think I am generally sensitive to that sort of thing.
The main guy who did this, his gf is staying with him here this summer. I suggested some things, they suggested some things, the gf was down with some of the things I suggested. The dude was apparently less so, and instead of them just agreeing, he quietly sabotaged two evenings in a row for me. I think he's doing the "overly protective about his girlfriend" thing. I thought he was cooler than that, I guess not.
I totally get that people want to do couply things: cool. Just fucking let me know "hey we're doing our own thing this evening." Don't set up a drinks with friends, and then when I say I will be showing up later on not answer texts and calls when no-one's in the designated spot.
I can take a hint: if they want to see me they can be in touch.
The other two, I dunno, I think just your basic flakery/douchery. Four times in two days is a little too much flakery for me; at least now I know the score.
Last edited by aggroculture; 06-09-2014 at 08:56 PM.
Stubby Member
There are some dicks that opened a taco stand in the trendy/hipster part of town that keep buying all the chicken thighs at the only market with a decent butcher. Dude at the counter said "they just came in and bought the last 40 pounds." Who the fuck does that!? That's what buying wholesale is for. Fucking hipster foodies. I want my goddamn chicken thighs.
Bent Member
Ungrateful brat alert: My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said concert tickets. I can't afford them, and live music makes me happier than just about anything.
Sighhhh. Any chance QOTSA would take an Amazon gift card? : /
she/her/hers
people taking facepalms waaaaaaay too seriously and not understanding that they're a sarcastic way of saying "that's GREAT" because you disagree to the point of being frustrated but don't have anything else to say on the matter.
also, hypocrites who partake in activities/exhibit behaviors that could potentially destroy their lives while claiming to be religious.
Bite me
People in general piss me off these days. I want to go live in the woods.
she/her/hers
my fiancee and i have plans to go live in the woods someday. i really hope we actually can.
Throbbing Member
Such as? (Just curious.)
Bite me
We've been planting trees on our nearly 1/2 acre lot (on the North Shore ha) so that eventually we will have "woods" here. We planted NINE 9' trees last spring, FIVE of them are baldcypress which grow to be over 120 feet tall, and four of them are gorgeous black alders (already over 12' tall). We have a spectacular 50+ year old honeylocust out back, plus two 5-yr-old growing honeylocusts up front that are rapidly growing, plus three old crabapples, two hawthorns, and I really want to add some conifers. Eventually, we'll be "in the woods." But, it's still not "woods" enough for me, still too many fucking people around here. I'd like woods + mountains. Problem is, my husband wants city water and sewer and natural gas, LOL, which you don't get when you move to the sticks.
Our alternative, whilst waiting for the trees to grow, has been driving to KENOSHA on the weekends. If you haven't tried this, I highly recommend it. It's like another planet. The people are nicer, polite, zen, laid back, everything is cheaper, it's like you take a nice deep breath and relax and GTFO of Chicago. Check out the Good Garden Cafe and Wine Gallery on 6th. Totally awesome, it's an old house.
Even people here on the North Shore are so in a hurry, they hit pedestrians! Wtf! Where do you have to go in downtown HP that you HIT a pedestrian in a crosswalk!? Where are you going in that much of a hurry? To get a manicure?
Last edited by allegro; 06-10-2014 at 09:17 PM.
she/her/hers
that sounds lovely.
we went to lake delevan/lake geneva last october for a couple days, and it was nice to just be away. we still did what we usually do when we're home, except in a bed: we ordered pizza every night and got drunk while watching things on netflix.
we'll probably do something similar right after our wedding at the end of september, since we're not taking our disney world honeymoon until february.
as for a thing that pisses me off...uneven difficulty levels in video games. the final boss of a game shouldn't be easier to defeat than a regular level.
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