Sober - However you got there, whatever keeps you here.

[elevenism]

Hi @Jessiahbell

Hang in there, and, I'm down for recovery discussion: probably a lot more of it coming soon, BECAUSE:

Weeeellll, I sure fucked up. I had that awful blackout drinking problem back in the days, and got sober in AA, and then it switched to the opiates, and only fairly recently kicked THOSE.
I am NOT back on the opiates. But, over the past few years, I've had a drink here and there, really with no repercussion. I thought I'd maybe grown out of it.
Here recently, for the past several weeks, though, I've been dealing with my dog dying, and my wife with the hep C, and they lowered my suboxone dose, and so I started picking up airplane shooters here and there. Then, it turned into four or five, but every OTHER day. Then I started promising my wife I'd go a week, but only went a day. When the dog finally died, I started drinking four or five shots EVERY day. What's worse is, I felt that old need. I NEEDED those drinks. In fact, I caught myself telling my wife "give me the card, it's time for me to go get 'my drinks.' "
This amount of alcohol isn't much compared to the old liter a day habit, but I I know where it leads. I also had a couple of nights of the sweating and shaking a bit.

SO, I got a new big book and called intergroup. The closest meeting is 45 miles from where I live, once a week. So, I'm 2 days sober, and tomorrow I'm off to AA, for AA Round 2: Middle Age Boogaloo.

[Siah13]

Hi @Jessiahbell

SO, I got a new big book and called intergroup. The closest meeting is 45 miles from where I live, once a week. So, I'm 2 days sober, and tomorrow I'm off to AA, for AA Round 2: Middle Age Boogaloo.

This! <3 Something one of my most precious mentors/sponsors said to me at one point - "Get over yourself and get out of the way. It's not about how perfect you can sell yourself as and there's no finish line you're running to... No placements... Just stay alive and stay hungry for it. Never quit." For some reason that concept - staying hungry for it - is a constant theme in my head that stuck hardcore and resonated perfectly - still does. Sadly he passed away some 15 or so years ago, but his words and his heart will always be a core part of who I am. I feel lucky to have happened to get a job working for him when I was 16 - he was an amazing man who owned an ice cream shop I was hired at and he offered his shop's deck for NA and AA meetings multiple times a day...

Anyways, stay hungry, never quit. LOL. (sorry I never log on so I sometimes take months to reply LOL) How's it now??

[elevenism]

This! <3 Something one of my most precious mentors/sponsors said to me at one point - "Get over yourself and get out of the way. It's not about how perfect you can sell yourself as and there's no finish line you're running to... No placements... Just stay alive and stay hungry for it. Never quit." For some reason that concept - staying hungry for it - is a constant theme in my head that stuck hardcore and resonated perfectly - still does. Sadly he passed away some 15 or so years ago, but his words and his heart will always be a core part of who I am. I feel lucky to have happened to get a job working for him when I was 16 - he was an amazing man who owned an ice cream shop I was hired at and he offered his shop's deck for NA and AA meetings multiple times a day...

Anyways, stay hungry, never quit. LOL. (sorry I never log on so I sometimes take months to reply LOL) How's it now??

Sigh. You know, we got the NEW puppy, and SHE died, and I slipped...on fucking white claw ��

That stuff is the devil. It's actually thirst quenching, and it's likely to be the drink of choice for a couple million future AA members. It's literally fucking mango flavored sparkling water, and if you turn your head, I can sneak 2 24 ounce cans.

Luckily I didn't slide too far, though. I'm sober again.

This showed me that I'm not prepared to deal with life on life's terms.

I'm glad you're taking care of your liver, and it's AMAZING that you didn't eat the opiates.

My best friend's wife, who is also one of my old friends, died quite recently from a combination of liver trouble and alcohol, and, that was a hell of a wake up call.

[Siah13]

Sigh. You know, we got the NEW puppy, and SHE died, and I slipped...on fucking white claw 😂

That stuff is the devil. It's actually thirst quenching, and it's likely to be the drink of choice for a couple million future AA members. It's literally fucking mango flavored sparkling water, and if you turn your head, I can sneak 2 24 ounce cans.

Luckily I didn't slide too far, though. I'm sober again.

This showed me that I'm not prepared to deal with life on life's terms.

I'm glad you're taking care of your liver, and it's AMAZING that you didn't eat the opiates.

My best friend's wife, who is also one of my old friends, died quite recently from a combination of liver trouble and alcohol, and, that was a hell of a wake up call.

While it’s been months, I sure am sorry to hear about the new puppy - that’s fucking horrible! Jeez! White Claws and associated drinks that are booze but taste like bubble water are an insane phenomenon right
now, and probably from here on out... It’s unnerving sometimes to me because I see it - see the patterns and behaviors... consumption... it can be alarming. Sometimes it feels like I’m watching video of my past but through weird filters that makes it look different... I’m glad you were able to stop the slide out before it became a big issue - I hope that this finds you still standing - or at least sitting comfortably... Thanks for the words of encouragement... my liver kicking out on me really has caught me off guard. It’s like this weird concept to me that something inside me can just call it quits and I really get no say. Like, WTAF is that?! How on Earth... I sometimes ponder it and find myself really examining my past choices and indulgences and it becomes like this obsessive thing - what did it, how did I, when exactly, how did I not recognize.... 😂 As if it is even really relevant. But, I bet it was the carburetor fluid or the many other fucking toxic fumes I started huffing when I was 13. #headstart #earlybloomer 😂