Likes: 
Faceplams: I understand if it's hard to be friends with someone you want to fuck or who hurt your feelings, I get that reason, but why would you want to date someone you wouldn't want to be friends with? Sorry, I have enough friends?
Active Member
I understand if it's hard to be friends with someone you want to fuck or who hurt your feelings, I get that reason, but why would you want to date someone you wouldn't want to be friends with? Sorry, I have enough friends?
Flaccid Member
On the "friend's zone" issue . . .
You can't just "turn off" your emotions. I know that women want to believe in platonic friendships between members of the opposite sex . . . But what do you think is happening in the brain of the guy hanging around with you? How do you think he feels after he talks with you on the phone about your problems? Or grabs a couple drinks at the bar? Or listens while you talk about your relationship troubles? When this dude goes home, he's going through turmoil. He's wondering why you can't see that you'd be a perfect couple. You are putting him through complete agony because you like the "company." I can't help but view such a relationship as exploitative. Just do an internet search about the "friend zone." These are awful stories.
Like, check this out:
http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/...rd-a-prologue/
Read through the story. It's awful. Do you want to put a guy through that because he is "fun"? I sure hope not! So don't try to wiggle out of responsibility. Don't pretend a guy can be "mature" and "control his emotions." You know that's not true!
I'm willing to entertain the idea that society might be changing on the sex issue. That said, I travel in liberal circles, and I don't know a single guy who respects women who have sex on the first date. Now, he might not consider her a bad person, but he certainly won't view her as relationship material.
Last edited by Kenny Smith; 02-02-2012 at 11:59 PM.
Administrator
What a load of misogynistic bollocks. Tell me, do any of your single female friends look down at guys who put out on the first date? Yeah, didn't think so. Also, fuck you and your heteronormative morality.
Meanwhile, back in the real world and not some bad short story, real friends don't sleep together. Or play the tease all the time. Period. If anyone behaves in this way, then they are an asshole, plain and simple.
Active Member
Kind of, but more of a "I only have so many hours in a day and I want to spend them being romantic and sexual, and I'm not doing that when I'm with you."Originally Posted by playwithfire
Nothing against the person, they're just not interested in the same kind of relationship, so it might be best to move on.
@_@
Ohkaaaayyyyyy...
Well, I ended up in two long term relationships that began after putting out on the first date. With that said, it wasn't the very first time we had met.
But I could never sleep with someone that I could not be friends with. I'm confused. Or is it just me that starts off all relationships with people as a friendship.
Administrator
That's not why I'm referring to. I'm talking people who have put someone in the friend zone and then test the platonic relationship.
.com
I love women that fuck on the first date. I'm also fine with those who think it's smart to wait until we know each other better. Sex can be many things. Sometimes it's the most intimate way to connect with someone you absolutely love. Sometimes it's just a damn good time with someone you're attracted to and you trust. To judge a woman negatively because she's comfortable having sex early in a relationship is just goddamned stupid and ignorant.
Anyway, why am I in the relationship thread? I don't know. Later, boners! Good luck and stuff.
Active Member
I just don't get it. Unless those people aren't attracted to the rest of their friends or something... because if that person isn't good enough to be a friend, why... I just think that's so dumb. I mean, I find a fair amount of my friends attractive but that doesn't mean it's hard to be their friend. (Again, I get not wanting friendship in cases of tension or hurt feelings.) That can't be uncommon.
I would never be interested in someone seriously who I'd not still want as a friend.
Also, I think there's a lot to be said about people in the "friend zone" not going and PURSUING OTHER PEOPLE when they realize they have no chance with whoever. Stop investing your feelings in an uninterested party.
But... whatevs. People are silly.
Hairy Member
I had sex on the first date with my boyfriend. But then again I don't have issues with sex, and neither does he. That's just an issue that should not be generalized. If you're honest with yourself you'll find the right one who will put out, or wait for you.
Flaccid Member
The issue is not with sex. Two things:
1. My recommendation to women is to not have sex on the first couple dates. Certainly, this might work out in some instances, but these relationships for my male friends follow a predictable pattern: the guy is often very excited for a couple weeks, and then the relationship suddenly fizzles out. Then, I get to hear, "Oh, she's really nice, but I just want someone more interesting." Or, the even more basic, "I just don't think she's right for me." Guys tend to like women who are mysterious. If they get inside her pants after the first date, that destroys some of the excitement of the early relationship. I appreciate the argument that this is sexist. We're talking about relationships, which unfortunately don't happen in a perfect world. (And, if you think this changes when the guy is an "enlightened" liberal, you're wrong. It doesn't. The liberal guys are worse because they often don't even realize that they're being sexist!)
2. People seem to be confusing the "friend zone" with "the guy just wants to get some." Trust me: if a guy really wanted to have sex, he could figure out how to make it happen. There is no shortage of people who want to hook up. The "friend zone" emerges because they guy often has fallen in love. He desperately wants the relationship to become romantic, but the woman has decided that he's just a "friend." Who cares about sex? Getting laid is easy. Getting into a good, healthy relationship is the tough part.
Throbbing Member
Finding out my ex is living with a girlfriend....i am jealous he has that. as i sit here stuck with another long distance problem.
DEPRESSING WAY TO START MY DAY.
.com
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Hey ladies! Gather 'round! This guy's got some advice and he's here to share it all with you. HOW EXCITING!
Dude, just stop.
desperately chilled
dear powers can be, can you remove my "like" on the original post in question? i originally was misreading while on the phone at work and took away the concept of "better to be single than in a horrible relationship" away from it, which is indeed sound advice for anyone constantly being put down in any kind of relationship, but i don't think it applies to fixer here...
however, upon a second glance, i have the same issues and disagreements with the rest of the post and the misogynistic leanings of the follow ups. yikes!
Last edited by frankie teardrop; 02-03-2012 at 10:48 AM. Reason: i can spell wordz
Administrator
Short of deleting the post altogether? No.
desperately chilled
dang. well let it be known that i'm not down with it.
@_@
So Kenny from Louisville, Kentucky, sounds like women should also bring their bible and dress in their Sunday best for a great date as well, eh?
Active Member
I think the issue may be that he is trying to apply to much of his personal views to a broader public. At the same time to say any one way of going about relationships of any kind should apply to more than the people involved would also be painting too broad a stroke. Ideally people with similar views will be hooking up, and if they both are ok with balling like monkeys on the first date awesome. If thats not what they are into than thats fine as well.
The freindzone can put people in awkward situations. Being friends however should be considered a different animal though. I consider me and my ex to still be friends but at this point in time i don't feel like trying to talk with her or see her is a good idea cause any kind of contact at this point would just be too awkward, and maybe it will always be but that doesn't mean I don't consider her a friend. Granted we knew each other for a few years before we dated.
I've also hung out with girls in high school who i knew were into me and i didn't feel the same, and yes it was kind of a dick thing to let it hang without being forward. That however was a long time ago. Shortly after me and the ex broke up i met a girl who basically was looking to play that game with me and I wasn't about to have that, so i broke it off. Right away she said np we can be buddies but than i haven't heard from her since which is fine.
All that said i think the most important thing is to be as honest as you can about your intentions/feelings. If your not twelve you should be able to slap that part of your inner child and send it to bed early and handle whatever comes like an adult.
So anyway, I've been thinking about asking this girl out. She is a friend of a co-worker and have hung out a few times at the bar. Seems like were hitting it off but being that we've been out down town kicking ass we haven't really had much time to actually sit and talk. Should i ask my co-worker that i was thinking about asking her friend out first or just go for it? I've never been any good at trying to "play the game".
Active Member
I don't respect men who get intimidated by women who like to fuck.
Active Member
Fucking on the first date is hot!
Bite me
I believe that Fixer and this woman had sex on their first date. Then they did it a lot in various illicit places, like carpeted vans with disco balls. Which is probably why she went back to the ex (plus the ex was stalking her). Fixer's Big Time Sensuality scared her because she was on the rebound from the ex, and she has to officially have a reason to not feel guilty about the ex, and then she can choose good sex with Fixer.
I'm saying this because this actually happened to me, once. Maybe twice, I can't remember.*
*no, not with Fixer. I've never had sex with a Canadian.
Last edited by allegro; 03-21-2021 at 02:48 PM.
Bent Member
Same here.
Active Member
So, I want to ask out the hot girl at work, but I'm not sure how to approach because of complications.
1. I'm married (open relationship, it's OK).
2. I'm her boss.
3. I'm 8 years older than her.
Any suggestions?
Active Member
You're her boss. I don't think that's doable. Not unless she approaches you.
Bite me
TOTALLY violates EEOC Federal laws, dude. Unless you wanna get sued, move on. Wait until she doesn't work for you, anymore.
Throbbing Member
Haha.
Does she know you're married? If so, tell her you've been having some problems with your wife. No matter what you do, you feel shut out and just need someone to confide in. Then, if she's receptive and sympathetic, thank her and tell her what a great listener she is. Next, approach her the next day, say you've been thinking about the things she said, and that it made you feel better about things. Even though she's much younger than you, you feel surprised about how much you have in common. Ask her out for a coffee or a drink. This way, you can edge your way in, and you'll know she's cool about the wife. Hey Presto!
Edit: Honestly though, don't do any of that.
Bite me
^^ haha dude, you're twisted :-)
Eskimo dude, because you're HER BOSS (Bill Clinton, anyone?), don't do any of that. Unless you're insane.
Last edited by allegro; 02-03-2012 at 10:30 PM.
Active Member
Fire her? Just kidding JUST KIDDING.
Flaccid Member
This is easy. Just force her to transfer to another division and then you can make a move. She'll totally go for it! If not, fire her.
Active Member
Well, this just got...interesting.
So, all my rants about not being great about going out, meeting people, etc? Well...walked out of my room at my new house last night, and my roommate has about half a dozen friends over. A married couple, two single guys, and two extraordinarily attractive single female friends - one of whom seemed to be exceptionally friendly, and just an overall happy and awesome person in every regard. I want some sort of chance at attempting a relationship here...but what's the next step? Just keep talking to her whenever my roommate invites her over and slowly chip away at building a friendship first? Or just get some balls and ask her out next time I see her?
Active Member
i would go straight to asking her out. if you try to be friends first she might think thats all you want.
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