also:

sarah (my fiancee) and i had a big, long talk today about many things; long-term goals like buying a house and having a kid, as well as more pressing issues like our sparse sex life, and we FINALLY discussed the possibility of my transition.

the short version:
she was very positive, and very understanding, and (very fairly) said that it would be strange having me change so much, but that she would support me, and obviously still love me.
i'm already extremely feminine (other than my beard) and i don't know if i'd ever want to transition as far has having bottom surgery, but she assured me that she would remain by my side if i ever decided to take any steps in this direction.

so...yay!