Shitty Movies - So bad, they're bad

[Space Suicide]

talk about shitty comedies...


The only joke i kinda liked was the one about Britney, and that's it, the movie is so dumb is not even funny

All of the ....Movie movies are horrible. Those writers suck and need to get over it already. Scary Movie series, date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, etc. They ALL SUCK!

[PooPooMeowChow]

Come on the original 3 Scary Movies are good.

The new Mission Impossible is utter shit though.

[henryeatscereal]

I just care for Scary Movie 1, and mostly because Anna Farris, the second and third are awful, and "Epic Movie" and "Superhero Movie" are both Shit Sandwiches, i agree with Space Suicide, the idea is getting old and not even executed right (The original genere spoofs came from the great Mel Brooks)

[thevoid99]

All of the ....Movie movies are horrible. Those writers suck and need to get over it already. Scary Movie series, date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, etc. They ALL SUCK!

I don't even consider them films because there's no effort to these works of shit. I had the unfortunate of watching Meet the Spartans in its entirety. Mind you, I was in mourning because my youngest sister had passed away. I was watching this... and I realized there's worse things than death. This is one of them. It's like watching a loop that escalates where nothing really happens except it just gets worse and worse and worse as it progresses.

This is essentially what Friedberg/Seltzer do. They take a scene, try and make fun of it, add a stupid pop culture reference, and add a bad joke in the mix. For the next scene, repeat, add some inane piece of pop music and a dance sequence. Do that again but have Carmen Electra do her thing.

Porno films have more imagination than this. Sure, they're aware that the movies they make have no plot but they don't have much of a budget either. At least I can respect a porno filmmaker.

Friedberg/Seltzer however, have millions of dollars invested in these shit projects that they just don't really do anything. People are there just to get a paycheck and it's like "whatever". Bad filmmakers at least put the effort to make their shitty movies. These guys don't even do anything at all but just make fun of a movie and that's it. I don't even consider their movies worthy enough to be called films or movies. Not even worthy to be called a bad movie. It's just absolute junk.

[Jinsai]

ALL of the Scary Movies sucked. It created a new precedent in derivative comedy. Not only were they parodying a recent blockbuster movie, but they were parodying a parody. I would say that the idea of dedicating an entire film to lampooning Scream is a stupid and misguided idea, but I guess I would be wrong considering that it was successful enough to spawn five sequels.

The thing is, this trend was actually pioneered by Mel Brooks. Anyone who remembers that fucking terrible movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights has to admit it. He made several brilliant genre send offs, then he made Spaceballs, where he finally reduced the scope of his comedy to a specific movie. Still, it's hard to hate on Spaceballs, isn't it? And we can argue that was different, because SPaceballs after all was parodying Star Wars, which by that point was already a cultural institution and an undeniable phenomenon.

...unlike Scream, 300, or Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. There was no justification for basing a feature length parody around the fucking Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie. A lot of people like to point at Scary Movie for creating this bullshit genre, but in reality the blame lies with Robin Hood Men In Tights, which was the unfunniest piece of shit ever (up until they made Meet the Spartans).

[henryeatscereal]

It's true that Mel Brooks reduced his scope with "Spaceballs" and "Men in Tight"s and even the disatrous "Dracula: Dead and loving it", still he made awesome spoofs prior to those: "Young Frankestein" "Silent Movie" "Blazing Saddles" "History of the World" are all widely imitated classics.
At least Mel was able to mimic several film styles, Friedberg & Seltzer's films all look the same, and all his jokes are generic pop culture humour with some stupid punch line that it's often racist and/or sexist.

[Fixer808]

Fuck you, Spaceballs is the shit.

[sentient02970]

OK yes despite Life Stinks, Brooks just can't be shit on...my opinion.

[thevoid99]

Men in Tights and Dracula: Dead or Loving It aren't great parodies. I think Brooks was getting lazy at that point. It didn't really have anything to root for though it had their moments.

Spaceballs is probably the last great film Brooks has made. It wasn't just some great parody on Star Wars and other sci-fi films. It had actually had some commentary about the state of the home video market at the time as well as the world of merchandising! The latter of which is hilarious which was a shot towards George Lucas' emphasis to make money through stupid things from Star Wars. BTW, has anyone seen the Princess Leia sex doll that Carrie Fisher has?

[henryeatscereal]

Fuck you, Spaceballs is the shit.

nobody said different, i love that movie

[Goldfoot]

Come on the original 3 Scary Movies are good.

The new Mission Impossible is utter shit though.

I disagree with both of those statements. I refuse to explain myself as you didn't bother to do so to begin with.

[Corvus T. Cosmonaut]

said some things, waved his hands, beat the table with his fist

I don't disagree with you on Scary Movie and all of the other Seltzer and Friedberg lowest-common-denominator mere reference 'parody' movies for retards. (As much as I like Anna Faris in just about everything, I can do so without tipping my goblet to this schlock.) But I think your blame on Mel Brooks is mis-placed, sort of. Yeah, he's basically been garbage, creatively, since about Spaceballs, with Robin Hood: Men in Tights being an awful time in the theater even for a nine-year-old (me!), he was not the first person to take up the form.

An equal part of the blame falls on some people whose work is held in far higher regard than it has any reason to be: the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker movies from the 1970s and '80s. These would be the likes of Airplane!, the television show Police Squad! and its movie companions the Naked Gun series. And let's not forget Hot Shots!. It's no surprise then that David Zucker would go on to be involved with the Scary Movie sequels, when his career beached on the rocks in the land of old, crotchety, humorless comedy writerdom (see also: his movie, An American Carol).

Also, we might want to drop some blame on National Lampoon, too.

[Jinsai]

Also, we might want to drop some blame on National Lampoon, too.

It's actually interesting that both Loaded Weapon 1 and Robin Hood: Men in Tights came out the same year...

I loved Spaceballs as a kid, and I still love it... but it's the earliest example of this sort of thing that I can think of. I'll still say it's different from the kind of derivative crap we're talking about, but it seems like it paved the way, and it would be easier to excuse it for doing so if Mel hadn't gone on to make his god awful Robin Hood and Dracula parodies.

Maybe it was inevitable that it would devolve into this though. Who knows. All I know is that Robin Hood: Men in Tights sucks, and Spaceballs is still fun. And I'm not saying I hate Mel Brooks... Blazing Saddles is one of my favorite movies of all time.

[Corvus T. Cosmonaut]

Depends on what you mean by "this sort of thing". Young Frankenstein was obviously a parody, but it was a good movie and creative in its own right. Going much further back, one might argue for consideration of Abbott and Costello. And consider the ZAZ flicks, with airplane disaster parody Airplane! coming out in 1980.

[Jinsai]

Depends on what you mean by "this sort of thing". Young Frankenstein was obviously a parody, but it was a good movie and creative in its own right. Going much further back, one might argue for consideration of Abbott and Costello. And consider the ZAZ flicks, with airplane disaster parody Airplane! coming out in 1980.

Sure, but those movies weren't such direct parodies of one specific movie. Young Frankenstein was distanced by the fact that it presented itself as a "sequel" of sorts, and it was so original in so many other ways that it more referenced classic horror monster movies. And stuff like "Abbot and Costello Meet the Wolfman" isn't quite the same either really...

I really shouldn't be bringing up Spaceballs, and maybe only because I like it. It's hard to bash it, and there's enough things that set it apart... but it bothers me when considering the progression towards "Robin Hood Men in Tights" and "Dracula Dead and Loving It." I see no difference between the unoriginal cash-in parody of something like "Vampires Suck!" and "Robin Hood Men in Tights."

[Corvus T. Cosmonaut]

I think it's just wrong in the first place to draw the line in the sand and say, "Here, this: this is why we're stuck with this bullshit today."

[Jinsai]

I think it's just wrong in the first place to draw the line in the sand and say, "Here, this: this is why we're stuck with this bullshit today."

I'm pretty sure I never said that... and I didn't draw any lines in the sand. I'm pretty sure "Scary Movie" would have happened anyway, I'm just saying that Robin Hood: Men in Tights did the exact same thing first, and it sucks just as much. We have to give credit to the people who got there first.

While I'm in this thread though, I guess I should mention that Eurotrip is on TV right now, and this shit sucks. It's almost as if it's a comedy directly targeted at Americans who have never traveled outside of the US, but for some reason think that Europeans are silly backwards fuckers whose women would all rather have sex with them. I mean, flying outside of the US would be really fun right, but only if I get to fuck some hot German girl I met on the net who desperately wants me, and while I'm there, I can punch a French mime in the balls.

[henryeatscereal]

Oh god Eurotrip is god awful, also the National Lampoon movies, but i admit "Porky's" and "House Party" as guilty pleasures

[Space Suicide]

Oh god Eurotrip is god awful, also the National Lampoon movies, but i admit "Porky's" and "House Party" as guilty pleasures

I wouldn't say all of them. All 4 of the Vacation movies are great, even Vegas.

[kdrcraig]

Ha I really liked Eurotrip, haven't watched it since college though.

"This isn't where I parked my car"

[henryeatscereal]

I wouldn't say all of them. All 4 of the Vacation movies are great, even Vegas.

I forgot about those, i do like them i think even "Xmas Vacations" was a good one, but the idea became old quickly, Animal House is classic too, but they made many inferior movies with low budget, Class Reunion for instance was a generic "Animal House"

[slave2thewage]

American comedy TV shows are a fuck lot better than American comedy movies.

[Fixer808]

nobody said different, i love that movie

Just covering my bases!

[theruiner]

I know this hasn't come out yet, but I'm preeeettty sure this is going to be bad. Call it a hunch.

Finally a movie that addresses the evils of pornography. And you'll be surprised to find out it's actually a Christian movie! It's a porn-centric movie the whole family can enjoy!




Edit: HA!!! The FAQ is even better.

Harmless is a feature film shot in the popular found footage style. It’s the story about a husband and father and his battle with a box of porn that is found in the closet. Once opened, the box of porn begins to torment the family, much like a poltergeist. It’s sort of a social commentary on how pornography can destroy a family.

Really? Wow, I'm glad they explained it, because the message was so subtle I wouldn't have figured it out otherwise.

Because films are not only entertaining but they’re also a way to teach people. Society learns their morals and values through music, film and television. Pornography is such a huge problem that simply telling someone how dangerous it is usually doesn’t work. You have to tell a compelling story to catch someone’s attention and then educate them while they’re being entertained.

Well, hate to break it to you, but people are not going to be entertained. And pornography isn't dangerous. Telling people to suppress their natural human inclinations, however, is.

[sentient02970]

Seriously, who needs a cardboard box for porn anymore?

[theruiner]

^^Apparently you've never run out of tissues.

[slave2thewage]

Haunted porn mags?! Genius.

[orestes]

Seriously, who needs a cardboard box for porn anymore?

[butters]

That Harmless shit is just beyond awesome. I can't even begin to explain the joy that trailer brought me, knowing that a movie like that exists. A fucking haunted box of porn. Ho-ly shit is that bad. I will never watch that piece of crap, but I love knowing that it exists.

[hellospaceboy]

There are tons of bad movies out there, but these ones especially hurt:

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Batman Forever, Batman and Robin
Terminator 3
the Crow 2 city of angels
Daredevil
Star Wars prequels
Spider-man 3