The Fucking Thread

[playwithfire]

either my sex drive is dying, or i'm not finding my girlfriend attractive anymore. But we had the house to ourself for a week and no sex happened..I'm completely okay with that.

Hetero-lesbian bed death.

[aggroculture]

I want to ask my wife to peg me.
I think she would do it, I just need to work up the courage to ask.

[eversonpoe]

I want to ask my wife to peg me.
I think she would do it, I just need to work up the courage to ask.

good luck! i hope she'll be open to it. i mean, it's really not weird at all, as far as kinks go. i still need to find a better harness for my wife (she had no qualms about doing it but the harness we got didn't fit her right/wasn't really comfy, so she didn't enjoy herself very much).

[aggroculture]

Report: it was a bit awkward, and we didn't quite manage it. She was open to the idea, but not that comfortable with the practicality of the harness. I'd like to try it again, at a different moment, when our sex life is going better in general (there are various reasons why it isn't at the moment: life, health, stress), and when such experiments might work better. Anyway, I'm glad I had the courage to ask!

[Bachy]

Going on three months now.

But then again, it's still winter and in the Midwest, so I don't care THAT much about it <---- What I say to myself

How I really feel . . . . .

[playwithfire]

Whenever y'all are like "it's been a few months" -- gosh I don't relate. Because that does not seem like such a long time.

[playwithfire]

You know what, fair point. It takes me much longer than a few months to hit the "fuck, it's been a while" stage unless there is a particular person I want. I feel like, if the target of the sexual desire isn't super important, casual sex is easy enough to obtain with a modicum of effort. Not my thing, but absolutely available. But, masturbation and pornography work well enough as far as I'm concerned.

Instead of being like "wtf it's not that long" going "Y'all are apparently extraordinarily horny people." is a better conclusion.

[Volband]

I can manage dry spells (was pretty late to start the biz' to begin with), but there are periods when my libido pretty much makes me go crazy and I feel like I'd even hump a squirrel, and all my kinks are magnified. I'd need a helluva better self control, even if so far I've done nothing that could have not been done at least once in a lifetime.

[theimage13]

I hear ya. Multi-year gaps were normal for me, and the depressing part wasn't the "I NEED SEX", it was just envy from seeing other happy looking couples out and about while I went about my business alone. Even in a long term relationship, I've learned that my drive is definitely on the low side, and thankfully that syncs up perfectly with my partner. I enjoy a good shag, but I don't constantly crave it. And that's a-ok with me.

[ophelia_]

No one has talked about sex since February? This makes me a sad panda.

[playwithfire]

WELL HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DOING OPHELiA

I haven't been doing much if you get my drift

[slave2thewage]

my fiancée is super hot, has a big dick,

my thirst is rising.

[xfocalinx]

Finally had anal sex. That was cool.

[muse-lyre candy]

it's been a lil over a yr. my last relationship left me a bit traumatized and i'm not yet comfortable with being touched, i love hugs and that's about as far as it goes.

[mostlymad]

@Eichalvindore

Hah, I've got you beat there. I have chosen not to be in a relationship for 7 years. I had casual sex twice since then. That was 3 years ago. And it sucked.

I'm not up for it right now, which is good. There's still a stitch in there, so nothing happening for a few weeks. There's this thing that happens that no one told me, that right after everything is removed, you get a surge in libido. So suddenly, after all this time, I'm thinking about it, again.

[muse-lyre candy]

@Eichalvindore

Hah, I've got you beat there. I have chosen not to be in a relationship for 7 years. I had casual sex twice since then. That was 3 years ago. And it sucked.

I'm not up for it right now, which is good. There's still a stitch in there, so nothing happening for a few weeks. There's this thing that happens that no one told me, that right after everything is removed, you get a surge in libido. So suddenly, after all this time, I'm thinking about it, again.

i wish you the best of luck with that. casual sex has lead me into relationships that weren't my idea and in my head I'm saying 'what the hell, why not.' that philosophy hasn't been working out too well for me. so ya, i hear you about avoiding relationships, and for me casual sex too for awhile. right now i have this fear of being touched by men which will take a lil time to bounce back from.

[ophelia_]

So I'm going to America in September for 5 weeks, and reaaally want to talk to my boyfriend about me getting slutty over there. But not really sure how to bring it up... I bought it up once with him, asking "so, I'm going to be gone for 5 weeks - what are your plans for seeing other people?" and he took it really badly and said he didn't plan on cheating on me.

We don't have an open relationship, but he's also pretty easy going and I think he would be fine with me sleeping with other people, as it's pretty likely I am never going to see them again. But it's a bit confusing that he reacted so badly to me asking about it. I dunnoooooo.

[Sarah K]

ARE WE MAKING OUT?!?!

​caps

[tony.parente]

So I'm going to America in September for 5 weeks, and reaaally want to talk to my boyfriend about me getting slutty over there. But not really sure how to bring it up... I bought it up once with him, asking "so, I'm going to be gone for 5 weeks - what are your plans for seeing other people?" and he took it really badly and said he didn't plan on cheating on me.

We don't have an open relationship, but he's also pretty easy going and I think he would be fine with me sleeping with other people, as it's pretty likely I am never going to see them again. But it's a bit confusing that he reacted so badly to me asking about it. I dunnoooooo.

aaahaha you wanna get freaky with some American boys.

[ophelia_]

ARE WE MAKING OUT?!?!

​caps

THE ANSWER TO THAT IS OBVIOUSLY YES! .... also caps.

[ophelia_]

aaahaha you wanna get freaky with some American boys.

Sure do Can't go to Texas without riding a cowboy!

[Sarah K]

Omg. We have to go to a play party.

[tony.parente]

Sure do Can't go to Texas without riding a cowboy!

Australians are fucking dope lmao

Well, most of em.

[ophelia_]

Omg. We have to go to a play party.

YES! omg. Plz. I am getting way too excited about this trip... soon!

[Sarah K]

Bet. I haven't been to a party in a few months now. The one my friend runs is the second Saturday of each month. You'll be here the first weekend, but I am sure that we can get into some mischief somewhere!

[Harry Seaward]

So I'm going to America in September for 5 weeks, and reaaally want to talk to my boyfriend about me getting slutty over there. But not really sure how to bring it up... I bought it up once with him, asking "so, I'm going to be gone for 5 weeks - what are your plans for seeing other people?" and he took it really badly and said he didn't plan on cheating on me.

We don't have an open relationship, but he's also pretty easy going and I think he would be fine with me sleeping with other people, as it's pretty likely I am never going to see them again. But it's a bit confusing that he reacted so badly to me asking about it. I dunnoooooo.

To address the post - if you guys don't have an open relationship, have never discussed one, and your boyfriend reacted pretty poorly to you asking about seeing other people during a month-long trip, well... it seems like sleeping with somebody would be a pretty uncool idea. I feel like him "taking it badly" is a pretty open and shut answer to your question. It seems sorta strange that you describe how explicitly not open he is to the idea, and then say "he's pretty easy going so he'd prolly be okay with it." Kinda sounds like you're preemptively making an excuse for something you already have your mind set on.

Honestly the best advice for 99% of relationship issues is "communicate" so it seems like just straight-up asking him for permission would be the best course of action.

I know you didn't explicitly ask for advice, so totally disregard this if I'm coming across as out of line or dickish.

[ophelia_]

To address the post - if you guys don't have an open relationship, have never discussed one, and your boyfriend reacted pretty poorly to you asking about seeing other people during a month-long trip, well... it seems like sleeping with somebody would be a pretty uncool idea. I feel like him "taking it badly" is a pretty open and shut answer to your question. It seems sorta strange that you describe how explicitly not open he is to the idea, and then say "he's pretty easy going so he'd prolly be okay with it." Kinda sounds like you're preemptively making an excuse for something you already have your mind set on.

Honestly the best advice for 99% of relationship issues is "communicate" so it seems like just straight-up asking him for permission would be the best course of action.

I know you didn't explicitly ask for advice, so totally disregard this if I'm coming across as out of line or dickish.

Nah, you're not coming off as dickish

I didn't really explain myself too well. We don't have an open relationship, but we have had quite a few threesomes and in prior relationships, we've both had poly/open experiences.. Jealousy is not really something that affects our relationship too much. So the idea of us being open while I'm away isn't exactly brand new to both of us, that's why I was so surprised at his reaction. We are generally pretty good at communicating, but I might have asked him on a bad day or something.

Will definitely bring it up with him before I leave, just need to do it the right way.

[playwithfire]

I've been casually seeing this girl for a while now (we started going out earlier this year) and maaaaaan if there isn't a constant perfect storm of us not banging and I feel like it's all on me. And then I feel guilty and feel like I'm pressuring myself and nothing turns me off faster. We don't hang out often, I have pretty frequent below-the-belt issues and while that's gotten better, I've been on my period the last couple of times we've hung out (great way to put a damper on lesbian sex, for me, and please spare me any advice around how I should get over basically only being open to giving or pnv on my period and embrace receiving foreplay. I'm not a fan.). I'm not the kind of person who really gets all that much out of just making out for ages (I get bored). I also have skewed increasingly passive, so I do best more with more aggressive, dominant (though verbal orders are a hard limit for me) partners. But then, it makes me feel like I have to initiate things, when what I need is someone else to so that I can get out of my own head a bit. She's pretty consistently great, so this is on me, but I feel bad. :/ We'll figure it out, but ugh.

[playwithfire]

Yaaaay finally managed to turn that around. THANKS BODY.

[ophelia_]

Update on above: had another chat with the boyfie, he said he's more than happy for me to see what America has to offer in the way of penis (and vadge). Woo!