The Fucking Thread

[icklekitty]

It made me feel IWANTEDSOMECOCKGRAH.

[Vertigo]

Surely it's just good manners for him to be a trooper and get the job done with other bodyparts, if the general isn't coming on to the battlefield.

[Kyle]

Surely it's just good manners for him to be a trooper and get the job done with other bodyparts, if the general isn't coming on to the battlefield.

Well the only time that happened to me was my first time ever (or more accurately my first time trying) so my other parts probably would have been just as useless. I tried with the other parts actually but had no idea what I was doing. I somehow even managed to squirt a load on myself without even having an erection. How much experience does this guy have?

[Sarah K]

God. After this horrific weekend back in Nebraska, I wish I had someone in NY to just fuck me stupid tonight. Goddamn it. Stress level: 9000.

[halloween]

She's taking her dreams way too literally. Dreams are symbolic. It was also pretty selfish of her to tell you about it and then expect you to keep it a secret. You should avoid her.

The other thing that situation made me think of is the fact that people have pheromones! We're going to be attracted to people without "knowing why". It's natural! Especially if someone's been in a relationship long enough to have things become routine. Humans are clearly not "pair bonding for life" animals (though some people can clearly be more loyal than others in that sense, I for example feel extreme loyalty to my partners, even though my current and past partners have been all about the open thing) so we are going to become attracted to more than one person no matter what our psychology says.

edit.
To stay on topic. I was feeling a bit concerned about my lack of orgasms the last couple times I had been with my boyfriend. I got really close then it seemed to just...become too hard to get there. THEN! Last night I totally left the idea of orgasms behind and just let myself enjoy the sensual aspects of rolling around in bed. I was using my hand to stimulate him while he placed his leg strategically between mine. To my surprise that gave me the "clitoris" orgasm! Then when we had actual intercourse I had the bigger, "g-spot" orgasm! My body isn't broken after all! By the way, I put those quotations there because now we know the clitoris isn't just that outer part but extends in/around the vagina. It is strange to me that I can feel different "levels" or something of orgasm depending on which part of those bundles of nerves are being stimulated.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Um, jealous times 1000.

[icklekitty]

Surely it's just good manners for him to be a trooper and get the job done with other bodyparts, if the general isn't coming on to the battlefield.

Other body parts is not cock. That's what I sleep with women for.

[ibanez33]

^^ what she said. Yeah, oral and digital sex is still great fun, but you shouldn't think that it's a good substitute for actual sex. I know too many guys (and I was once one of them) who think "well, if I finish early, I'll just eat her out" or something like that, but that's just not how it works. For the guys who think that way, imagine you're having sex and then she just stops and says "well I'm done, I'll just give you a handjob now". Yeah, it's still good, and maybe you'll still have an orgasm, but it's not the same, is it?

[Nyx]

^^And that's not how it works for a lot of women either... It's actually not that common for a woman to be able to orgasm from intercourse alone (no matter what movies, porn and faking girlfriends tell you), and some of us can't orgasm during the intercourse itself at all. You can't really make comparisons between men and women that way.

[ibanez33]

^^And that's not how it works for a lot of women either... It's actually not that common for a woman to be able to orgasm from intercourse alone (no matter what movies, porn and faking girlfriends tell you), and some of us can't orgasm during the intercourse itself at all. You can't really make comparisons between men and women that way.

True, it wasn't the best analogy. But the point was, you can't substitute them for one another. All forms of sex have their own qualities, and everyone reacts differently to them. But just because one can get the same results as another doesn't make it a viable substitute.

[icklekitty]

It's actually not that common for a woman to be able to orgasm from intercourse alone

Orgasming had nothing to do with it. I do not desire cock as a means to an end.

[Nyx]

I wasn't replying to you.
My personal experience is something along the line of cock =/= orgasm, yet cock=awesome. I was replying to ibanez's comparison, in case that wasn't clear...

[ibanez33]

I wasn't replying to you.
My personal experience is something along the line of cock =/= orgasm, yet cock=awesome. I was replying to ibanez's comparison, in case that wasn't clear...

I think it was pretty clear. We're all on the same page, I just made a bad comparison trying to get the point across.

[implanted_microchip]

Just finished round 1 of birthday sex. Shaping up to be a very happy birthday!

[Charmingly Miserable]

It's actually not that common for a woman to be able to orgasm from intercourse alone (no matter what movies, porn and faking girlfriends tell you), and some of us can't orgasm during the intercourse itself at all.

Shit, I can't. Correction, I've yet to experience it.

[Sarah K]

I have to be in a VERY SPECIFIC POSITION for it to work. But it basically always works. Now if I could just transfer it to other, less boring positions. It has to be some fuck up or disconnect in my head that I don't understand.

[allegro]

^^ what she said. Yeah, oral and digital sex is still great fun, but you shouldn't think that it's a good substitute for actual sex.

For what it's worth, I totally understood your analogy and I agree. It doesn't matter if the fucking leads to orgasm, that's a whole other point entirely. But fucking is still fucking. And if the guy stops the fucking, then he gonna get stabbed in the eye with an ice pick.

[Dra508]

@allegro - I think your my sister from another mother.

[DigitalChaos]

He couldn't get hard.

This phenomena really confuses me. I guess I'm lucky to have never experienced this first hand even in all the "typical" situations that cause it. But... wtf really causes this and what is it actually like? I could imagine some sort of stress/anxiety feedback loop being involved. I just can't put myself in those shoes enough to fully understand the experience enough the way I can with a lot of other situations. Which is odd because it's probably one of the things I would absolutely hate to experience.

[eversonpoe]

This phenomena really confuses me. I guess I'm lucky to have never experienced this first hand even in all the "typical" situations that cause it. But... wtf really causes this and what is it actually like? I could imagine some sort of stress/anxiety feedback loop being involved. I just can't put myself in those shoes enough to fully understand the experience enough the way I can with a lot of other situations. Which is odd because it's probably one of the things I would absolutely hate to experience.

after i was sexually assaulted, i was TERRIFIED of any kind of sexual encounter for years. i would get erections at random times and i would feel such horrible shame, but then any time i was around someone i was actually attracted to, i was so scared of the possibility of physical intimacy that my body would just shut down.
not saying that's the issue in this situation, or most of the time when that happens to dudes, just offering insight from a different point of view.

i will say, though, that there have been a couple times (since i've [mostly] overcome those issues) where i have been quite drunk and unable to stay hard long enough to finish (i usually go way longer when i'm drunk because of decreased sensitivity).
there was also the first few times my fiancee and i had sex when we began dating, and i couldn't come. it was completely psychological (all having to do with my abusive ex) and absolutely horrible. it's really difficult to be in a situation like that and have it not make your partner feel awful.

[DigitalChaos]

after i was sexually assaulted, i was TERRIFIED of any kind of sexual encounter for years. i would get erections at random times and i would feel such horrible shame, but then any time i was around someone i was actually attracted to, i was so scared of the possibility of physical intimacy that my body would just shut down.
not saying that's the issue in this situation, or most of the time when that happens to dudes, just offering insight from a different point of view.

i will say, though, that there have been a couple times (since i've [mostly] overcome those issues) where i have been quite drunk and unable to stay hard long enough to finish (i usually go way longer when i'm drunk because of decreased sensitivity).
there was also the first few times my fiancee and i had sex when we began dating, and i couldn't come. it was completely psychological (all having to do with my abusive ex) and absolutely horrible. it's really difficult to be in a situation like that and have it not make your partner feel awful.

So, the delayed orgasm thing is heavily connected to nerve pathways. Straight erectile dysfunction is, at its core, a cardiovascular issue. Both can certainly be triggered through mental/chemical issues; they have a lot of common triggers. I've certainly experience the delayed orgasm through various substances, but never the erectile dysfunction. I guess that is where my odd curiosity comes from.

[DigitalChaos]

This is suddenly making me remember certain substances that make it really easy to experience things as someone else... and those can be extremely interesting when taking place in a sexual environment. "what does this feel like from the <insert opposite sex here>'s perspective?" Yea... if anyone has also done this, it's going to be someone in this thread!

So that's my contribution to the fuck thread for today.

[ophelia_]

Been having SO much sex for the last 5 days... I am sore everywhere and it is amazing. Except for the 3 hours of sleep every night, that is not amazing.

I've never been with someone who loves eating pussy so much... He just doesn't stop. Ever. It's basically the greatest thing in the world.

[Sarah K]

When I come visit you, please share some magical penis with me. Thx.

[Ryan]

When I come visit you, please share some magical penis with me. Thx.

[botley]

This phenomena really confuses me. I guess I'm lucky to have never experienced this first hand even in all the "typical" situations that cause it. But... wtf really causes this and what is it actually like? I could imagine some sort of stress/anxiety feedback loop being involved. I just can't put myself in those shoes enough to fully understand the experience enough the way I can with a lot of other situations. Which is odd because it's probably one of the things I would absolutely hate to experience.

You've got a long life ahead of you, so don't rule it out from happening just yet. You may yet live to really disappoint somebody. Kidding! It's actually not so bad.

Speaking from my own personal experience, penile erection and sexual arousal are definitely separate phenomena. One can, of course, have non-sexual erections, and the reverse is true as well. As far as I can work out, I have had cases of what might loosely be called "performance anxiety" in the boudoir; in at least two separate sexual encounters where I and a new partner were interested in having vaginal intercourse, I couldn't "perform" (which is a totally loaded metaphor, and very unfortunate because it reinforces the expectation that you are in an unwelcome position of failure and are undesirable/unmasculine when physiological accident intervenes to prevent you and your partner from enjoying the sex you both want to have). It worked itself out for me, in the end: first time actually ended with a very memorable "Plan B", and I'm still dating the other one of those partners today — we have great sex all the time. In the moment, however, it was incredibly frustrating to experience.

Seeing as I've had countless entirely satisfying sexual encounters, before and since these incidents — what was really going on, here? Well, what you say about the feedback loop is true: I felt pressured to get it up, and that kept me from being relaxed enough to maintain erection, which made me even more uptight. But whence did that pressure derive? I'd venture to say that a whole host of psycho-cultural practices in our patriarchal society define masculinity and sexuality in terms of zero-sum possessive terms, which subtly fuck with your head from birth. There is a learned close association of male arousal with erection and therefore strength & power — especially interesting to me is the association of ejaculation with dominance. Other cultures don't have these things, and I daresay their "erectile dysfunction" rates are minimal or nonexistent. Just roll over and fuck somebody else, no big deal! But this power game we play in the West only serves to complicate the heterosexual dynamic, subjugate women in unwinnable scenarios, and place unconscious mental barriers before one's ability to relax and enjoy sexual intercourse for the desired duration.

So: try to not think of sex as a win/lose proposition. If you get hard, right away when you want to, great. If that gets you or your partner off, great. Those aren't the only "wins" possible, however.

This is suddenly making me remember certain substances that make it really easy to experience things as someone else... and those can be extremely interesting when taking place in a sexual environment. "what does this feel like from the <insert opposite sex here>'s perspective?" Yea... if anyone has also done this, it's going to be someone in this thread!

I've found myself responding far more empathetically to a woman during sex after we'd both smoked some potent marijuana. It didn't take that much of it, either, just a small joint shared between us. It was fantastic.

…anyway, that's enough personal disclosure for one night.

[ophelia_]

When I come visit you, please share some magical penis with me. Thx.

Whats a little penis sharing between friends. Haha.

[DigitalChaos]

You've got a long life ahead of you, so don't rule it out from happening just yet. You may yet live to really disappoint somebody. Kidding! It's actually not so bad.

There is a learned close association of male arousal with erection and therefore strength & power — especially interesting to me is the association of ejaculation with dominance.

lol, yes that is true. It's one of those things that becomes increasingly more a risk as you age. It freaks me out about as much as losing my mental edge.

Great point on the culture angle though. I, and probably many people on ETS, are probably way more likely to distance themselves from that kind of bullshit culture... at least more than average.

[DigitalChaos]

I've found myself responding far more empathetically to a woman during sex after we'd both smoked some potent marijuana. It didn't take that much of it, either, just a small joint shared between us. It was fantastic.

…anyway, that's enough personal disclosure for one night.

Throw in some pure MDMA. The empathy is absurd. You can get that extreme desire to focus on pleasuring your partner and not yourself... because receiving pleasure is actually less pleasurable than providing it. And then actually climaxing when they climax even though there was absolutely no physical stimulation going on with yourself. I've heard of females doing that on occasion when sober, but never men. That just adds more evidence to the naturally higher level of empathy in women.

That's probably the closest we can ever get to actually experiencing what the other person is.

i do believe I just beat you on the personal disclosure in one night...

[Charmingly Miserable]

When I come visit you, please share some magical penis with me. Thx.

Scoop me up on the way.

*sighs* Sex (or lack of it) makes me sad.