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Thread: The Fucking Thread

  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I still need a lot of practise.
    we should find a "practise your blowjob skills" buddy!

  2. #62
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    Woah, my van was a'rockin' last night. Felt like a teenager!

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I still need a lot of practise.
    I'm pathetically out of practice.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by sublimaze View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I still need a lot of practise.
    I'm pathetically out of practice.
    I'm going to let someone practize on me this weekend.

  5. #65
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    Thursday can't get here fast enough.

  6. #66
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    My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by slave2thewage View Post
    My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.
    That is simply beautiful.

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by slave2thewage View Post
    My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.
    James Joyce: perhaps the greatest writer of love letters the world has ever, and will ever, see. I performed a few of his letters as a monologue once in high school. I didn't walk at graduation.
    Last edited by Aaron; 01-13-2012 at 12:54 PM.

  9. #69
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    Karaoke last night, then home for a vigorous session. That's how you end a weekend!

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fixer808 View Post
    Karaoke last night, then home for a vigorous session. That's how you end a weekend!
    Yeah, but what did you sing?

  11. #71
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    Doggy-style with my current fuck buddy is a fucking (ha-ha) revelation. Seriously. It's the answer to all of life's problems.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dra508 View Post
    Yeah, but what did you sing?
    Depeche Mode - Everything Counts
    Muse - Starlight
    NIN - Every Day is Exactly The Same
    Modest Mouse - Float On
    Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills

    BAM.

  13. #73
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    Double post because fucking. With the back seats out of my van, it's actually pretty comfy back there! Feel like it needs some shag carpet and a disco ball, though... It's certainly going to need a carpet shampoo if this keeps happening!

    Also, Dethklok is surprisingly good to bang to.

  14. #74
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    Phone sex is way underrated.

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Doggy-style with my current fuck buddy is a fucking (ha-ha) revelation. Seriously. It's the answer to all of life's problems.
    I was looking for this thread to say something about doggy style too, and how I want it nao.

  16. #76
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    Sometimes I miss sex, but I really don't like people so that creates quite a conundrum. So I just masturbate a lot.

  17. #77
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    Can anyone recommend an online store where I can buy single non-latex condoms? I'm hoping to buy an assortment and see what works. I have a sensitivity to latex, and my boyfriend is dealing with sensitivity/numbness related to MS.

  18. #78
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    Webcam-masturbating over skype is a surprisingly hot and satisfying way to deal with distance.

  19. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Webcam-masturbating over skype is a surprisingly hot and satisfying way to deal with distance.
    I hoped we'd be able to get that going when I was in my last relationship but I never pushed for it. Wish I had, but it was difficult enough just being able to talk normally on the phone about what was going on.

    Or maybe I just want to jerk off in peace.

  20. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by aurelius View Post
    Can anyone recommend an online store where I can buy single non-latex condoms? I'm hoping to buy an assortment and see what works. I have a sensitivity to latex, and my boyfriend is dealing with sensitivity/numbness related to MS.
    www.amazon.com they have a surprising arsenal of sex related goodies and your search/purchasing history will not affect the recommendations on your home page.
    Last edited by konstantin; 02-13-2012 at 03:04 PM.

  21. #81
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    just saw this on reddit and i thought it'd be interesting to hear you guys opinion on this.

    http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co..._please_leave/

  22. #82
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    My nipples and my bum hurt so much today. Fucking subspace.

  23. #83
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    Dear ETS, I had butt sex last night and thought you should know.

  24. #84
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    You went with the paper bag option, or was it someone else?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beef of the Sea View Post
    Dear ETS, I had butt sex last night and thought you should know.
    I think what we should know is if it was good/bad/gross/awesome! You know, so then people can reply and be like "no! it's not good/bad/gross/awesome, it's bad/good/awesome/gross!!"

  26. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by halloween View Post
    I think what we should know is if it was good/bad/gross/awesome! You know, so then people can reply and be like "no! it's not good/bad/gross/awesome, it's bad/good/awesome/gross!!"
    Well it was awkward, and a little bit painful, but I guess you get that on your first encounter. I think all up it was good, but am still undecided.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fixer808 View Post
    You went with the paper bag option, or was it someone else?


    Hah, someone else thankfully.

  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by halloween View Post
    I think what we should know is if it was good/bad/gross/awesome!
    Isn't it usually all of the above, if done correctly?

  28. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beef of the Sea View Post
    Dear ETS, I had butt sex last night and thought you should know.
    I wondered how long it would be before you fucked a guy.

  29. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I wondered how long it would be before you fucked a guy.
    About the duration of a shitty long distance relationship apparently.

  30. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fixer808 View Post
    Isn't it usually all of the above, if done correctly?
    In my experience, it was bad, then good, then awesome, then gross, then in the shower.

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