The Transgender Thread

[icklekitty]

like i said, it was the "female or shemale" segment that was the issue. i think that, rather than throw gasoline on the fire after that, ru decided to remove "you've got she-mail" as well.
like i also said, the "you've got she-mail" never bothered me, because it was a pun, rather than an insult. but i understand the reasoning behind getting rid of it.

I wasn't referring to how it affected you personally.

[playwithfire]

(i hope this wasn't in reference to anything i said)

Definitely not. No worries.

[screwdriver]

oh, also, just as an aside, i almost exclusively watch trans porn. it's not a fetish, it's simply what i find attractive, and what i want to be, ideally. i hate the language used on a lot of the sites, but there's not much i can do about that except support the ones that are more inclusive and less offensive. but i've mentioned this over in the spice thread

total nonsequitur but as a bi-male married to a beautiful woman, I almost exclusively watch trans porn too (I've gotten her mildly into it just by virtue of osmosis)

the language bothers me, like you said, but what's great about the internet these days is that I feel like I can find amateur avenues that I think are people exploring their own boundaries in more honest, less degrading ways

[theruiner]

I thought this was pretty good. Also, I like that Patton Oswalt tweeted it. As if I needed another reason to love that guy.

http://www.cracked.com/article_20997...a-ignores.html

[theruiner]

Ugh. The trans feelings seem to be going away. Like, a lot. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want them gone. But I'm just seriously doubting that this is what I want now.

The funny thing is, I showed a picture of me to a few friends that I took while dressed with a bit of makeup on and I've gotten really positive feedback. One friend (a fellow ETSer) was saying how happy and comfortable I looked, and how she thinks I could pass really well. I'm not saying all that to brag (and I still am not entirely comfortable with the way I look) but it was really nice, and a month or two ago I would have been over the moon. But it's just cruel irony that it's coming at a time when this feels like it might be winding down. I would have killed to have heard that a couple years ago. I would like to really enjoy that, and part of me does, but I realize that it might be all for naught because it's starting to look like I'm not going to do this.

We'll see. I haven't given up hope yet. I'm still going to therapy every week, I'm still living as a woman part time (pretty much any time I'm not at work or out and about). I'm doing the right things, and I'm glad I'm finally figuring this out and finally living it to see what it feels like but I don't like where this appears to be going.

[theruiner]

Sorry. Triple post. Gah. Sorry.

But I just had to share this.

So, I just came back from my hormone consult with two prescriptions- one for spironolactone (testosterone blocker) and one for estradiol.

Granted, it's just a trial run to see how I feel about all this. And I can't start taking it for probably a month (I can't do it until after my labs get back...I go in for labs in two weeks and then it can take up to two weeks to hear back). And I promised my therapist I would wait until she gives the ok (I am completely fine with this). But...in about a month, I should be on estrogen. And a testosterone blocker. Probably for about six weeks. And after that? Well, we'll see. But this shit is happening. After 31 fucking years of waiting, this is finally happening.

[jessamineny]

Starting Jan. 1, the city I live in (Rochester, NY) will add transgender healthcare benefits for city employees and their family members. Pretty cool. It will even cover reassignment surgery.

[sick among the pure]

Starting Jan. 1, the city I live in (Rochester, NY) will add transgender healthcare benefits for city employees and their family members. Pretty cool. It will even cover reassignment surgery.

I saw that on FB, one of my friends from back home was a part of the group that got that shit going. So there's still some hope of moving back to WNY...

Tiny update (not tiny so much as quick, because I need to make myself get off the interwebs and sleep 15 min ago) I got my state ID renewed (mostly so I could go to Toronto for NIN in July, yay NY special ID!) and not only updated the photo so I have facial hair and whatnot, but I got my gender marker changed. Next step, hopefully I get the job I'm interviewing for tomorrow, so I can have health insurance, so I can save up for eventual top surgery. Unfortunately, $70-$100k in student loans are looming over my head now, so eventual means super eventual.

[jessamineny]

Ugh. A morning radio show went on a disgusting, moronic rant about the transgender healthcare benefits in Rochester. There's a change.org petition to get them removed.

[theruiner]

^^I knew I shouldn't look in the comments section. Why do I always end up looking in the comments section, against my better judgement?

Which reminds me of, and gives me a good excuse to post, this, which I saw floating around a TG FB page and kind of loved.

http://i.imgur.com/UxMIpwp.jpg

Also, one week until I start hormones. Woot! It's been a roller coaster of emotion the last couple of weeks, swinging from being excited and really wanting this to not being sure I want this at all. I have no idea where I'm at at this point but hopefully this will (finally) help to clear things up. Whichever way it goes, at least I'll finally have it figured out. I hope.

[jessamineny]

Update: The vice president and general manager of the radio station issued a statement saying, “Because of Kimberly and Beck’s hateful comments to the transgender community, we have suspended them indefinitely.”

[jessamineny]

Update 2: "This morning Entercom fired Kimberly and Beck effective immediately. Their hateful comments against the transgender community do not represent our station or our company. We deeply apologize to the transgender community, the community of Rochester, and anyone else who was offended by their hateful comments. We are proud of our past work on behalf of the local LGBT community and we remain committed to that partnership." Sue Munn Vice-President/General Manager Entercom Rochester

[Fixer808]

Staggering ignorance, so rarely, but so sweetly punished.

Also, it may have been the panicked reaction of a corporation suddenly finding themselves in an ugly spotlight, but I had to email them to thank them for said reaction. Hell, maybe soon more media companies will realize that they don't need these kinds of idiots on their ships.

[jessamineny]

Those two had been on the air together for about a decade, I believe, so it's a pretty big deal for them to be fired. Thank god.

[Sarah K]

Ugh, I just listened to that.

I mean, I have no radio experience. But I imagine there are some other people around who aren't on the air, and heard that train wreck happening. How was nobody like HEY, STOP?!

Goddamn.

[theruiner]

So...I'm officially on estrogen now. So that happened.

[jessamineny]

wooooooo. I'm really happy for you!

[theruiner]

Thanks!

It's been a roller coaster already. Right before I did it I started to get REALLY apprehensive and really felt like I didn't want to do it. I took it two hours ago and for the first hour and a half or so that feeling persisted. But then I started feeling better about it. My therapist said that's very normal when you make such a huge decision. A friend pointed out that it could be OCD/anxiety causing the apprehension. They absolutely both could be right. *shrug* We'll see.

[sick among the pure]

Happy e-day!

[allegro]

Medicare lifts ban on gender reassignment surgery.

[theruiner]

So, I am now officially on a testosterone blocker. So as of now, I have almost no testosterone in my body and my main sex hormone is estrogen. That is amazing. And awesome. And kind of blows me away.

[aggroculture]

How do you feel? Do you feel different? Curious.
I have friends who have gone the opposite route, and discussed taking T.

[theruiner]

I haven't felt anything yet, honestly. I wasn't expecting a massive change (though some people do have a big change, for other people it's more subtle) but I was kind of hoping for something.

To be fair, I wasn't on T blockers for the last week I've been taking estrogen so maybe now something will feel different. And the T blocker can take up to a week to start really kicking in. But my testosterone was SUPER low before I started the T blocker so I was kind of hoping that the estrogen would have some effect. The doctor told me when I was in a couple days ago that, even though my estrogen level will still be pretty low (it'll probably be in the normal range for a male but in the very high part of the normal range) with very little testosterone I should notice some effects. He said it's not really a matter of having estrogen so high as it is having that balance- low T, high E. Which is something most men don't experience, and is the balance that most women have (albeit in much higher levels). So it's having estrogen as my primary sex hormone and having barely any T that really should make things feel different.

We'll see. Now, if I ever decide to really go for it and have my doses upped so physical changes start happening, then I will really be experiencing something quite amazing. I'm hoping this does affect me mentally but only time will tell. In two weeks if I'm still feeling nothing then I might be a bit more concerned.

[theruiner]

Amazing.

[Dra508]

I don't think this is ground breaking, or the first city to do this, but it's forward progress.

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/b...iscrimination/

[theruiner]

So...small update, I guess. Not much to update. I switched therapists (in need of a second opinion) and had my first session with her today. I was a bit nervous because I'm running low on T blockers and my doctor is waiting for me to give the ok to keep going before he will refill. Luckily, my therapist said she feels ok with me continuing, at least for a bit longer. So I'm hoping to continue the trial run for at least another month.

No mental or emotional changes to report. Well, there have been a few times when I got really anxious and depressed...but I was like that before. It's hard to tell whether that's the hormones affecting me or just my regular depression.

Physically a couple of really small things but nothing even really worth mentioning. So much for "your boobs are going to start growing really quick." ha!

But yeah, Thursday will make a month on hormones. Crazy.

[Dra508]

So...small update, I guess. Not much to update. I switched therapists (in need of a second opinion) and had my first session with her today. I was a bit nervous because I'm running low on T blockers and my doctor is waiting for me to give the ok to keep going before he will refill. Luckily, my therapist said she feels ok with me continuing, at least for a bit longer. So I'm hoping to continue the trial run for at least another month.

No mental or emotional changes to report. Well, there have been a few times when I got really anxious and depressed...but I was like that before. It's hard to tell whether that's the hormones affecting me or just my regular depression.

Physically a couple of really small things but nothing even really worth mentioning. So much for "your boobs are going to start growing really quick." ha!

But yeah, Thursday will make a month on hormones. Crazy.

Why'd you switch therapist?

Anxiety and depression is gender neutral. Raises hand. :/

[theruiner]

Oh, I know. But going on hormones messes with the emotional equilibrium for some people. So it's hard to tell if it's just my normal depression or the hormones taking me on a roller coaster.

I switched therapists because I had kind of hit a road block with my last one. After 6 months I still wasn't any closer to figuring it out, so we both felt that going to someone else- at least for a little while- for a second opinion might be helpful.

[theruiner]

I was out with a friend tonight and she told me that my face looks different than the last time she saw me. She asked if I had lost weight and I said no, actually, I haven't lost any recently. She swore she could see a definite difference. Which makes me wonder...hormones? Because that's the way they say it goes- you don't see the changes in yourself, at least at first, because they're so gradual, but other people who haven't seen you in awhile will notice the difference. And if that is the reason, then I'm very happy to hear it (and I'm just going to assume that's probably it because it makes me feel good, so there).

Also, my appetite seems to be getting smaller. Maybe it's not related to the hormones at all, but it didn't start until after I started taking them. I could just be reaching for straws at this point, since I'm hoping for changes, however small at first, but haven't really seen much. But those two are interesting. I've been on them for over a month now so while it's entirely possible it's too soon for anything to change, it's also very possible that the changes are happening. I've read enough accounts to know it's possible. Anyway, it'll be interesting to see where things are at at the end of my second month.

[allegro]

Anytime I've been on estrogen I've gained weight LOL.