being a teen as a female stuck in a male's body was far worse than any of that, i guarantee it.Originally Posted by allegro
i was literally the nicest, most understanding, eager to listen to your problems and be your friend type of person, and still:
• i got the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis for being a "fag" (i was out as bisexual but not as trans)
• i actually got stuffed into a locker one time (it doesn't just happen in the movies), and i'm claustrophobic
• i was super prude throughout high school because of my dysphoria, which caused a lot of problems every time i tried to have a relationship, and that was even before:
• i was raped by a girl a week before sophomore year started, but didn't remember it happened for a month, and my brain still regularly tries to convince me it didn't happen because EVERYONE i tried to tell told me it was impossible for a girl to rape a boy (i verified for sure that it did happen the day that i ran into my rapist on the L platform almost 8 years later and had a panic attack and then got a message from her online)
• i was forced into a sexual situation by a close friend who knew i had feelings for her (who i had told about my rape) a couple months later
• i went to prom at the end of sophomore year (didn't wear a tux but didn't get to wear a dress) with my boyfriend jake, but we didn't dance; he kept trying to grope me while we were playing lazer tag after, and then when we got to the house where our group was hanging out after that, he broke his promise to me and got super drunk and basically tried to fuck me on a pool table in a room full of people
• the only real relationship i had was with a girl who legally changed her name from eugenie to jeanz, was a victim of paternal sexual abuse (we spent the first six months of our relationship very, very slowly learning to trust each other and overcome our assaults), and who broke up with me through an e-mail a week after our one-year anniversary, which is what prompted my suicide attempt at the beginning of my senior year
i realize you're essentially telling me that high school sucks no matter what, and i'm not trying to compete with you, i'm just letting you know that, had i been able to experience all the normal high school stuff without ALSO dealing with eating disorders, clinical depression, and self-harm all stemming from my dysphoria, plus all of the horrible other shit that fell upon me, it would have been a lot less terrible, because i would have at least felt like ME.
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