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Thread: The Transgender Thread

  1. #61
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    Well, I went a few weeks there where the feelings seemed to be gone. Which is strange, but it's happened before. And now it's coming back with a vengeance. Ugh.

    I tried finding free counseling in Phoenix (I am sans insurance and money at the moment) but no such luck.

  2. #62
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    Ever since I shaved my head for charity I've been veering more toward genderqueer expression (rather than the mixture of very masculine on days when I'm with people I can be open with and very feminine with everyone else). Oddly, it just makes me want to transition ever more strongly. I've been doing the whole staring-at-pictures-of-male-models-until-I-make-myself-sick thing again...

    It's funny how we can sort of forget about it for a while only for it to come back and practically consume every day of our lives.
    Last edited by Hula; 03-22-2012 at 12:06 PM.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hula View Post
    I've been doing the whole staring-at-pictures-of-male-models-until-I-make-myself-sick thing again...
    THIS. A thousand times this. So unbelievably painful.

  4. #64
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    I shaved for the first time the other day. Partially because I'm only growing a neck beard and mustache, partly because I CAN. It made me squee, and now I have soft stubble from under my chin down my neck.

  5. #65
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    Welcome to the rabbit hole.

  6. #66
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  7. #67
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    Wow, I can't believe I hadn't heard of this yet.

    So...a new televised, um...comedy? Not sure. Anyway, a new show about a transsexual woman who is an assassin. This sounds, um...hmmm. I can't really make heads or tails of this. Here, reading stuff!


    Edit: Why did I feel the need to read the comments under the article? Bad idea.

  8. #68
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    I'm incredibly wary about this. Maybe my opinion's just unfairly coloured because the language in the article was a little problematic :|

    If they write it carefully, then I guess this could be okay. I just don't know if I'm cool with any show that could potentially fetishise somebody's trans status. The fact that she finds out she fathered kids ~when she was a man~ (to use their phrasing) makes me think they'll be playing the comedic angle a little too hard at trans people's detriment.

    I was going to ask why they never get actual transwomen to play these roles but then I realised there probably isn't a trans actor out there who wouldn't have a problem acting in something like this.

  9. #69
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    Yeah, I don't have much faith in it. I think there's a really good chance (read: almost guaranteed) that this will not turn out well.

    I'm glad it's on Showtime, though. That means less people will see it and I won't run into too many ignorant/disparaging comments/conversations (with people who don't know about me; my friends who know are entirely supportive and pretty liberal, anyway). I've been fortunate enough not to run into too many of those awkward conversations in my life (and the few I've had weren't much fun).

  10. #70
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    I don't know, the credentials don't seem too bad: Paul Abbott's approach is generally thoughtful even though the result is often shocking (and intended to be). I thought this seemed a fairly interesting premise.

    Ultimately, and I'm coming at this from a completely different angle, visibility is important. Even if it's portraying stuff badly. Being queer myself, I've seen an increase of bisexual female characters in mainstream media and most of them were evil or slutty or troubled, or a combination of those. But amongst that horrible mess are The L-Word's Alice and Bones' Angela. Increased visibility will conform stereotypes, but it will also allow for better and more truthful characters to emerge. Or at least that's what I personally believe.

    On a completely unrelated note, Ruiner: I always read comments, get pissed off and then have to shut off my computer to keep from posting lengthy pissy rants. Of course, your lengthy pissy rants would be awesome, so maybe you should just try it :P

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elke View Post
    I don't know, the credentials don't seem too bad: Paul Abbott's approach is generally thoughtful even though the result is often shocking (and intended to be). I thought this seemed a fairly interesting premise.
    Well, that does make me feel a bit better. I wasn't familiar with him. I'm glad to hear that he knows what he's doing and is usually thoughtful about these things. I know it seems cynical of me, but I just feel like a lot of people still don't understand trans issues. And not just that they don't understand it, but that they still look at us as freaks and the like. So it wouldn't shock me to have some pretty blatant stereotyping and/or making fun going on.

    Ultimately, and I'm coming at this from a completely different angle, visibility is important. Even if it's portraying stuff badly. Being queer myself, I've seen an increase of bisexual female characters in mainstream media and most of them were evil or slutty or troubled, or a combination of those. But amongst that horrible mess are The L-Word's Alice and Bones' Angela. Increased visibility will conform stereotypes, but it will also allow for better and more truthful characters to emerge. Or at least that's what I personally believe.
    That's a really good point. I still wouldn't be crazy to see some negativity, but if it leads to a more positive, enlightened general view somewhere down the line then that would be great.

    On a side note, speaking of TV shows, Six Feet Under I think did an amazing job at presenting homosexuality and bisexuality in a really positive way. One of the many, many reasons why it's my second favorite show ever.

    On a completely unrelated note, Ruiner: I always read comments, get pissed off and then have to shut off my computer to keep from posting lengthy pissy rants.
    I actually really need to do that, honestly. I feel stupid getting into a debate with some idiot over the internet, but it's really hard to walk away from certain subjects (transphobia and homophobia being two subjects that I have a hard time not calling people out for).

    Of course, your lengthy pissy rants would be awesome, so maybe you should just try it :P
    E.A.R.M.A.S.
    Last edited by theruiner; 04-14-2012 at 06:53 AM.

  12. #72
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    I should probably get into 6 Feet Under, I keep hearing good things about it.
    But yeah, I think it's about allowing things to progress - but it's easy for me to say, because it's not me being misrepresented, I suppose.

  13. #73
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  14. #74
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    Oh, Christ. Bill O'Reilly is apparently upset that a transgender teen was portrayed on Glee.

    I'm about to go to bed, but when I have time later, I'll have to try and track down the video and see everything in context before I can make a final judgment on this. But it's Bill O'Reilly, so I highly, highly doubt he was taken out of context.

    OH MY GOD, SOMEONE BREAKING ARBITRARY GENDER RULES THAT DON'T MEAN A GOD DAMN THING. What's next? Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

  15. #75
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    Tom Gabel from Against Me! came out as a Transgender today and announced plans to change his name to Laura and go through a full transition.

    Good for him! I think it's pretty fucking awesome that he's doing this. He's apparently been confused with it for years, and even references it in some of their songs. It takes guts to do this in the modern punk community where so many of the fans can be such single minded tools.

  16. #76
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    Thanks for sharing that! That is awesome.

    I'm not a big Against Me! fan (though, to be fair, I haven't heard much of their music), but the article I read mentioned the song "The Ocean" as hinting pretty heavily at her gender issues. I can say those lyrics really hit home for me (maybe not so much the marriage and children part, but thinking about what your life would have been like, and that incredible longing...that hits home. A lot.)

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by theruiner View Post
    Thanks for sharing that! That is awesome.

    I'm not a big Against Me! fan (though, to be fair, I haven't heard much of their music), but the article I read mentioned the song "The Ocean" as hinting pretty heavily at her gender issues. I can say those lyrics really hit home for me (maybe not so much the marriage and children part, but thinking about what your life would have been like, and that incredible longing...that hits home. A lot.)
    I just looked up her Wikipedia page and it makes me SO FREAKING HAPPY to see female pronouns all over the place there. Most people who don't come across trans stuff in day-to-day life seem to think there's a point where you stop being your birth-assigned gender and become your real one; I was expecting to go there and see male pronouns up until the part about her being transgender. I've read far too many articles where it's like 'He was the sort of boy who liked Barbie dolls, then he realised he was a she'. I know it's probably not intentionally meant to be offensive, but it's belittling whether it's intentional or not.

    Anyway, I'm happy for her. This is a huge thing to announce and an even huger decision to come to, so I'm really glad she's found her path.

  18. #78
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    The Rolling Stone article did that too. I was really happy to see that!

  19. #79
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    Coincidentally (or not) Kotaku posted an article about a transwoman coming out at EA.

    Don't read the comments. I made the mistake of doing so and witnessed more than a few instances of cissexism, transmisogyny and general assholery. Keep it classy, people.

  20. #80
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    I always try to avoid comments sections in those articles like the plague for that very reason. I actually saw a comment the other day under an article about the Against Me! singer where someone said something along the lines of, "transsexuals need to have the sense BEATEN into them" (the capitalization was theirs). Horrifying.

    That being said, I read the comments under the Rolling Stone article about said person and they were almost universally positive (at least the couple of pages I bothered to read). So that was refreshing.

  21. #81
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    I catch myself wondering sometimes if these people would be so vocal in their bigotry if they weren't hidden by the veil of anonymity that the internet provides. I know that here at least, homophobic comments aren't generally thrown around 'openly'—in my town they'll be said in a small group of friends where nobody is known to be gay, but within the group there's a very clear sense that what they're saying isn't cool and wouldn't be 'allowed' if somebody gay were there. They seem to conveniently forget that if the bigo-tree falls in the woods and no gay people are there to be offended by it, it's still offensive as fuck.

    Well, I catch myself wondering as much and then I realise that I don't really want to know the answer. Any reality where people can be unashamedly open about their prejudice in front of the object of their bigotry is a reality I don't want to be a part of.
    Last edited by Hula; 05-10-2012 at 03:23 AM.

  22. #82
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    To counter some of the negative reactions people have had to this news, check out the bottom of this article, where they mention how many other bands/celebrities have come out in support of Laura.

    My favorite, from the singer of The Gaslight Anthem:

    So Tom's gonna be Laura now... and in 2012 I still find people on the internet commenting on another person's life how they insult and condemn a person for his choices..

    How about the people who go through this and never find peace and end up committing suicide? Would you rather that? Or maybe he could become a raging drug addict and ruin his life and family? Would you rather that? Or maybe we could have rules from a dictator where everyone gets killed for anything they believe against the government, oh wait, that doesn't work ... How about you leave the guy alone. How about you let another human being make a decision about their lives without your snide prejudices and bigotry? This is one of the hardest decisions a person can make ... Whether you agree or don't, it's not your life. It's not your family. It's not your band, it's theirs.
    Awesome.

  23. #83
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    Fuck yeah. I've personally yet to see any negative remarks about it, but I know they're out there. The fact that I haven't seen any, though, shows me that there is far more support than there is backlash. As it should be. Any fan of the band out there who's got anything negative to say, obviously isn't a fan. They're just fucking assholes. Whenever the first Against Me show happens this summer, after the announcement, man I can only imagine how special the crowd support is going to feel to her. It's going to be huge.

  24. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hula View Post
    I know that here at least, homophobic comments aren't generally thrown around 'openly'
    I was thinking about that earlier in light of the Obama story. How many homophobic people are on ETS and (presumably) don't pipe up because the majority voice goes the other way?

  25. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Shinoda via Twitter
    I don't think I've ever done anything that demonstrated the bravery of Tom Gabel.
    Oh, man. Does this mean I have to like Mike Shinoda now?

  26. #86
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    Argentina just passed a law that makes medical transition a legal right—as well as making it possible for people to legally change their name and gender identification on their ID without having to have surgery or go on hormones.

    Can I just say I want to live there?
    Last edited by Hula; 05-10-2012 at 04:58 AM.

  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by theruiner View Post
    Oh, man. Does this mean I have to like Mike Shinoda now?
    Yes, you do. I'm sure you'll be awesome at it, too.

  28. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hula View Post
    I just looked up her Wikipedia page and it makes me SO FREAKING HAPPY to see female pronouns all over the place there. Most people who don't come across trans stuff in day-to-day life seem to think there's a point where you stop being your birth-assigned gender and become your real one; I was expecting to go there and see male pronouns up until the part about her being transgender. I've read far too many articles where it's like 'He was the sort of boy who liked Barbie dolls, then he realised he was a she'. I know it's probably not intentionally meant to be offensive, but it's belittling whether it's intentional or not.

    Anyway, I'm happy for her. This is a huge thing to announce and an even huger decision to come to, so I'm really glad she's found her path.
    Honestly, I don't think people who aren't exposed to "trans stuff" recognize the importance of the pronoun. Reading the comments starting with RichardP - he wrote HE through his whole post, where you went straight to HER. I literally read the fifth word in your post, saw the SHE, and said to myself "hey - look at that, Hula is pronoun conscious, that's interesting" and of course that WAS the context of your sentence. I just think we (I include myself totally) aren't aware of it's importance to the person or community. They say awareness is the first step to tolerance so thank you.

  29. #89
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    You know I wasn't trying to be offensive, right? But you're right. I've got plenty of gay friends but have never known, personally, a transgender. I wasn't fully aware until my girlfriend pointed out that I should have been typing she instead of he in my first post.

  30. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by richardp View Post
    You know I wasn't trying to be offensive, right? But you're right. I've got plenty of gay friends but have never known, personally, a transgender. I wasn't fully aware until my girlfriend pointed out that I should have been typing she instead of he in my first post.
    Yes, of course I know you weren't being offensive which further proves the point right? We don't realize the importance of the pronoun.
    Last edited by Dra508; 05-10-2012 at 06:25 PM. Reason: cause I can't write fer shit

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