The Transgender Thread

[icklekitty]

YOU'RE NOT A REAL TRANS, MAAN
DRAG QUEENS ARE OUR RACISM MAN
CROSSDRESSERS ARE MOCKING US, MAN

Yeah, I've seen a few of those. Talk about destroying your own cause.

[theruiner]

Ugh. I actually saw someone about a month ago go on a giant rant about how SHE was a "real woman" because the minute she realized she was trans she immediately threw out all of her male clothes and only wore female clothes 24/7 and considered herself a woman and it happened overnight and anyone who doesn't do that is "just not a real woman" like she is. She was seriously, like, furious that anyone would consider themselves a real woman if they eased into their transition, were only living part time, didn't immediately flip their life upside down, etc. You were just a poseur. It was seriously disgusting.

Also, lol at the woman on a different trans board who said that, until you get gender reassignment surgery if you wore female undergarments you were just "crossdressing." Because only women with actual vaginas were women. Women who were pre-op or non-op didn't count and were just crossdressing men. I wish I was making that up.

Anyway, I'm still unsure, which hasn't changed at all. The difference is I'm now getting to a point where changes are starting to become evident and I am going to have to force myself to stop the hormones very soon if I am not more sure. I've struggled with it for months but now I can actually see differences in my body (albeit still relatively subtle because, and maybe this is a good thing, I seem to be changing slower than pretty much every other trans person ever).

[DigitalChaos]

To clarify the story, NOT from a right wing site, this is what happened...

There were a couple of teachers who knew that they would be dealing with trans students this year. Since this was new for them, they asked about getting information on how to properly deal with this, so no students would feel left out. LPS then spoke with an outreach program who got back to LPS with some suggestions. Mostly, yes, addressing the class as "Everyone" or "students". There were also suggestions to not split the class up due to gender, etc. All common sense stuff. The "purple penguin" thing that the right wing news sites latched onto was COMPLETELY taken out of context.

Also, these are just helpful hints and suggestions so some kids don't feel left out. It isn't like there are strict rules about it or anything. It was simply some teachers wanting to get a head start on things.

I think it's great. I'm really, really happy to see my former school district taking the lead on this.

Ah, that makes more sense. I'll have to look up the actual context of the purple penguin thing then. I read it and was like "hoooly fuck that is the 'if I can't then nobody can' template that gets a lot of negative attention". No surprise that a right wing source would try to make everything fit that template though.


Since you seem informed, what age are the kids who are trans? Also, at what age can a group of kids realistically comprehend the difference between physical (what reproductive organs you are born with) and mental gender? And what is the accepted terminology to differentiate physical vs mental gender?

[Sarah K]

Since you seem informed, what age are the kids who are trans? Also, at what age can a group of kids realistically comprehend the difference between physical (what reproductive organs you are born with) and mental gender? And what is the accepted terminology to differentiate physical vs mental gender?

It stemmed from Irving, which is a middle school(6th - 8th grades).

Here are some articles on it from the local paper:

http://journalstar.com/news/local/ed..._medium=direct

http://journalstar.com/news/local/ed...597ce3f0b.html

http://journalstar.com/news/local/ed...5cfb14d65.html

I think those three articles give a solid idea of what went down.

And as far as what age can they "know", fairly young. Most trans people I know have felt like they were living in the incorrect body since they were young. And as far as what I know, physical traits are referred to as sex while gender expression can exist anywhere on a spectrum.

I'm admittedly still learning about this, though. @eversonpoe , @theruiner , and @playwithfire are all much better resources for this topic.

[DigitalChaos]

Thanks. And yeah, same. I never really dug into it because I "got it" to begin with.
From a child mental development, they start off unable to comprehend sex/gender. The first thing they pick up is they physical differences because it is simple and obvious. Then they go for several years before they can possibly understand something that is much more mental like gender. I'd imagine you need certain parts of your brain formed to both understand it and to accurately identify as a gender. Just yesterday, my 4yo was talking about how he could become (or wanted to be) a girl. It was clearly mixed into the same area as when he wants to be a super hero/skeleton/baby/animal/etc. So for his age, he doesn't seem capable of processing it.

[theruiner]

My trans bat signal went off. Heh.

Just yesterday, my 4yo was talking about how he could become (or wanted to be) a girl. It was clearly mixed into the same area as when he wants to be a super hero/skeleton/baby/animal/etc. So for his age, he doesn't seem capable of processing it.

I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I can tell you that I absolutely knew at the age of four. There was no doubt in my mind. So, yes, I would say that you can process it that early. Many (though by no means all) trans people realize it around that age.

Which, of course, doesn't necessarily mean that any child who mentions wanting to be the opposite sex is necessarily transgender, just that it's possible.

[allegro]

It was clearly mixed into the same area as when he wants to be a super hero/skeleton/baby/animal/etc. So for his age, he doesn't seem capable of processing it.

When I was that age, I knew little brother and I had different body parts but I didn't understand "why," except that we peed differently (he stood up, I sat down, although lots of times he sat down, too, when no parental figure was looking to make sure that he was peeing the "boy" way of peeing, but he was sometimes too lazy to stand up). They were always trying to make me wear "girl" clothes and wear my hair in nice "girl" ways but that's just social gender bullshit, I hated dresses, they prevented me from climbing trees, and my hair was always a fucking twisted ratty mess. Does this mean I wanted to be a "boy?" Honestly, if you asked me that at the time, I would have told you that's a silly question, I wanted to be me, haha. But my parents let me have a train set, and "boys" toys, and I could have dolls, too. I knew I didn't like being a "girl" in all the "girly" ways that society forced girls to be girls, so my parents didn't force me to always be a girl, so then I didn't have to be and that problem was kind of solved for me. But I didn't understand at the time that being a girl meant that I would eventually have boobs or periods or all that stuff, I didn't know what my body parts were for, etc., I just thought being a "girl" meant being forced to wear frilly dresses all the time, or cooking and cleaning vs. working at a bank or owning a company like my grandpa and I didn't like that. So my grandparents bought me mini restaurant equipment so I could pretend that I owned a restaurant, and my grandma gave me an old tape adding machine so I could pretend that I owned a bank. But I never wanted to wear nail polish or anything like that. My brother and I would play "dress up" together and most the time we'd dress up like NUNS hahahahaha. We actually have photos in the family album of my brother and I cross-dressing and wearing each other's clothes!

Taking away forced gender roles helps ALL children. Really, it does. Clothing, peeing, boys taking their shirt off one way and girls another, toys, hair, all of this shit is society forcing children to conform to gender roles that society has assigned to us, and IT'S ALL BULLSHIT. I'm sure it's not a big newsflash that not all females like wearing dresses. I STILL don't like wearing dresses. I don't currently own one that fits. I don't like getting my nails done, I don't like putting on makeup, I don't like all that "girly" shit that supposedly makes me a "girl" blah blah blah. The more we get away from these forced gender bullshit roles, the better we'll ALL be. Forcing children into "Boys" and "Girls" categories is stupid and unnecessary. This was what the feminist movement was all about. The movement is where we got the "Ms." designation, which STILL drives a lot of people NUTS (but one that I still use). Why do they need to categorize children at all by gender? Making teachers "aware" of it is a good idea.

Jennifer Finney Boylan, who wrote "She's Not There," said she knew that she wanted to a be a girl instead of a boy when she was very young, and she vividly remembers a comment her mother made while ironing her father's shirt, "someday you'll wear shirts like this." And she didn't want to wear a shirt like that, which of course even as a male wasn't necessarily true. But obviously this is more than just about CLOTHES. It has to go way beyond the clothes we think we should wear as the "other" gender or what clothes we're forced to wear. It's the life we'd lead as the other gender, and identifying more with that life to the point of being miserable, and Boylan says that started, for her, as a child. Not forcing any gender roles on any children would definitely help all children. It would help all adults!!

But, calling children "penguins" is kinda dumb? Just call them "children." Maybe there should be a universal term, like "kid."

[DigitalChaos]

I'm now way more interested in this conversation. I guess I never thought of a boy wanting to do societally female things as "having a female gender" (and vice versa). So, if the societal forces are removed (as a parent has a huge ability to do) what is left for someone to feel they have a gender that is different from the sex they were born with?

The fact that I don't force societal gender norms in my kid might be a reason why I don't see gender identity becoming a thing for quite a while... probably around the time sexual orientation starts to come up. But I'm still wrapping my head around the foundation of this.

[allegro]

The fact that I don't force societal gender norms in my kid

Is a GOOD THING!!!

although, my (late) brother told me, when we were grownups, that there were a few disadvantages to being reared by a female, one of which being that he wasn't taught how to "take his shirt off like a boy" and he was in the old "school locker room" for the first time and another boy took his shirt off "like a girl" and was nearly pummeled for it by the other boys, and my brother quickly learned, by observation, how to do it the "boy" way so he wouldn't get his ass kicked for nonconformance.

Btw, Boylan said sexual orientation had nothing to do with it. Gender is a social construct but also an identity construct, vs "biological sex" (science, chromosomes, male, female, intersex). Sexual preference is completely outside of this construct.

[theruiner]

^^Absolutely, allegro. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with being trans. The two often get confused.

Also, on a side note, I read and enjoyed Boylan's book, though it's been years since I've read it. I've heard she put out a second book so I will probably have to track it down and read it, too.

I'm now way more interested in this conversation. I guess I never thought of a boy wanting to do societally female things as "having a female gender" (and vice versa). So, if the societal forces are removed (as a parent has a huge ability to do) what is left for someone to feel they have a gender that is different from the sex they were born with?

Being in the wrong body. I can tell you that if you still took away all the socially enforced gender rules I would still be miserable. I distinctly remember being in elementary school and wishing my penis would go away. I remember crying myself to sleep at night because I couldn't change my body. I've had friends ask me, even recently, well, why can't you just crossdress? I understand it's hard for people to wrap their head around but this is about SO MUCH more than that.

There are people all over the gender spectrum, from non-conforming to gender queer to bi-gender to agender and the list goes on. So I can't speak for everyone's experience, but what I can tell you is that for people like me, there's no amount of societal change that is going to make this better. Hormones and, possibly, surgery are the only things.*

The thing is, I can't explain, and I suppose it would be difficult for someone who is not trans to understand (which is ok! I can't wrap my head around being cis, either, really) the pain I feel when I see members of the opposite sex. Am I jealous of the clothes? Sure. I love those clothes. But it's SO MUCH more than that. It's the voice. It's the body. No amount of clothes or behavior or anything short of actually physically transitioning is going to cure that pain for some people, and I suspect that goes for me, too. Actually, it's not just jealousy I feel when I see women- it's pain. Deep, excruciating, down to the bone pain. I don't think I can adequately put it into words in a way that fully explains it. At the end of the day I think the only way to truly understand it is to experience it and, you know, most people can't. Again, that's ok. Like I said, I can't understand the way it feels to be cis. Hell, on some level I can't understand what it's like to be FTM (female to male), although of course I think I understand it better than someone who isn't trans, but I don't identify at all with wanting to be male, so it's hard for me to put myself in their shoes, too. At least completely.

Also, to the mods- should we move this discussion into the Trans thread? I don't want to contribute to any more drift, but I think this is an important conversation. Anyone else want to jump over there? If people still want to discuss it further.


*assuming I still go through with it, which I'm still deciding. But even if I don't I don't see my feelings on this ever changing. I'm just going to put that disclaimer here so I can go on with the discussion without feeling like I'm not representing myself accurately.

[allegro]

@theruiner , well, see, you summed it up beautifully, probably better than Boylan describing her childhood and the "shirt" story, in that it goes WAY beyond clothes, it's dysphoria, it's not liking your own body parts and wanting the OTHER body parts, and understanding that wearing dresses does not make you a "girl" because that's just gender bullshit, you can still wear sweatpants and no makeup if you had the girl parts. But you would need to have surgery to go that far.

But, yeah, this is way beyond calling kids "girls" or "boys." Which I think goes beyond if they're trans or not; I think it's important to stop doing that so we stop distinguishing them from a gender standpoint because IT'S FUCKING USELESS.

@theruiner , maybe you should re-read "She's Not There" right now. It may give you a pick-me-up just when you need it.

[DigitalChaos]

^^Absolutely, allegro. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with being trans. The two often get confused.

Also, on a side note, I read and enjoyed Boylan's book, though it's been years since I've read it. I've heard she put out a second book so I will probably have to track it down and read it, too.


Being in the wrong body. I can tell you that if you still took away all the socially enforced gender rules I would still be miserable. I distinctly remember being in elementary school and wishing my penis would go away. I remember crying myself to sleep at night because I couldn't change my body. I've had friends ask me, even recently, well, why can't you just crossdress? I understand it's hard for people to wrap their head around but this is about SO MUCH more than that.

There are people all over the gender spectrum, from non-conforming to gender queer to bi-gender to agender and the list goes on. So I can't speak for everyone's experience, but what I can tell you is that for people like me, there's no amount of societal change that is going to make this better. Hormones and, possibly, surgery are the only things.*

The thing is, I can't explain, and I suppose it would be difficult for someone who is not trans to understand (which is ok! I can't wrap my head around being cis, either, really) the pain I feel when I see members of the opposite sex. Am I jealous of the clothes? Sure. I love those clothes. But it's SO MUCH more than that. It's the voice. It's the body. No amount of clothes or behavior or anything short of actually physically transitioning is going to cure that pain for some people, and I suspect that goes for me, too. Actually, it's not just jealousy I feel when I see women- it's pain. Deep, excruciating, down to the bone pain. I don't think I can adequately put it into words in a way that fully explains it. At the end of the day I think the only way to truly understand it is to experience it and, you know, most people can't. Again, that's ok. Like I said, I can't understand the way it feels to be cis. Hell, on some level I can't understand what it's like to be FTM (female to male), although of course I think I understand it better than someone who isn't trans, but I don't identify at all with wanting to be male, so it's hard for me to put myself in their shoes, too. At least completely.

Also, to the mods- should we move this discussion into the Trans thread? I don't want to contribute to any more drift, but I think this is an important conversation. Anyone else want to jump over there? If people still want to discuss it further.


*assuming I still go through with it, which I'm still deciding. But even if I don't I don't see my feelings on this ever changing. I'm just going to put that disclaimer here so I can go on with the discussion without feeling like I'm not representing myself accurately.

I'll move it over later today when I get to a computer if someone doesn't beat me. I was going to ask where the most appropriate place would be to split this thread to.


So, I think this pinpoints exactly how gender goes beyond societal factors. Thanks for taking the time to explain! Some questions, if you don't mind:

1 - Does this fall into the same realm as body dismorphia or similar topics? I think many people could understand the desire to lose weight or gain muscle mass but with much higher logistical hurdles and a negative (instead of positive) support from most others.

2 - most of the physical traits don't show until puberty. Would it be safe to say that the majority of problems (both introspectively and from peers) start around this time? Kids seem pretty asexual before then. I understand societal forces fuck this up from day one, so let's exclude that. I understand your comment about basic genetilia, but I'm attempting to weigh things on a time based perspective too.

3 - this is super tangential, but it has me thinking about other identity based categories and how society accepts them. I'm curious what anyone's thoughts are there. Race immediately comes to mind and that seems to be a "be proud of who you are" situation. Anyone who try's to act/look outside their race gets heavily ridiculed.

[theruiner]

So, I think this pinpoints exactly how gender goes beyond societal factors. Thanks for taking the time to explain!

No prob!

1 - Does this fall into the same realm as body dismorphia or similar topics? I think many people could understand the desire to lose weight or gain muscle mass but with much higher logistical hurdles and a negative (instead of positive) support from most others.

Admittedly, I don't know much about body dysmorphia. I can tell you that the few times I've seen it brought up in trans circles people seemed to be pretty adamant that the two were not similar. I Googled it just now and kind of glanced through a brief website on it and they don't seem the same (it seems like with body dysmorphia you are never happy with your body, no matter how much you change it, like the alarm in your head that says, "This still isn't good enough" never goes off. I have OCD so I can certainly relate to that feeling somewhat, though not about my body).

2 - most of the physical traits don't show until puberty. Would it be safe to say that the majority of problems (both introspectively and from peers) start around this time? Kids seem pretty asexual before then. I understand societal forces fuck this up from day one, so let's exclude that. I understand your comment about basic genetilia, but I'm attempting to weigh things on a time based perspective too.

It's hard to say. Perhaps before then it was social (not being able to dress and act how I wanted, not being perceived as the correct gender/sex, etc.) and, like you said, the anatomy itself, but the pain was definitely amped up at puberty. Watching girls develop the right way while I developed the wrong way (which is the way it felt to me) was horrible. I was already insanely jealous and in pain about not being female but that definitely ramped it up to another level entirely because my body was wrong in so many more ways.

Actually, I should clarify that I don't really feel like my body is wrong in the sense that I look in the mirror and am disgusted by what I see (like some trans people feel). I don't feel uncomfortable in my body and I don't hate it. But I *do* hate the fact that I'm not female. So when I say my body felt "wrong" it wasn't that I was disgusted by my body or it felt foreign, but there was an overwhelming and unrelenting desire to have a female body, and seeing myself go one direction and girls go the other was what was so painful because I wanted what they had.

This actually has confused some trans people, too. "How can you not hate the body you have?" A lot of us don't. I don't hate it but I don't feel happy in it, either. I would be happy being female (at least, I think I would).

[DigitalChaos]

posts have been moved

[theruiner]

UGH. I've decided to stop hormones. I'm very, very anxious to get off them as soon as possible. I'd like to stop them today, cold turkey, but I don't know if I can. My doctor is only open a few hours today and will be long closed by the time I get off work, so if they need me to come in for a consultation to let me know how to get off these things I'm going to lose my mind (I don't know if I have to ween off them or can just stop taking them). I hope they can just get a message to me over the phone from the doctor but I have the feeling they're going to want me to come in for a visit so the doctor can tell me in person, which means I'll have to wait. Which means I might just stop taking them and hope for the best because I don't know if I can wait that long. I'm sure my anxiety and OCD issues don't help but man, I want off these things today. :/

[jessamineny]

I would urge you to wait until you get directions from your doctor. I'm basing this off what it's like to have female hormones biologically, but hormones don't just affect you physically. They have a significant impact on your emotions. I'd imagine cold-turkey would be something like what new mothers experience when they go through postpartum, maybe even worse.

And you're going through an extremely emotional time right now already, having just a few days ago ended your relationship with your best friend of 14 years. Adding any more emotional upset to the mix, especially something at such a fundamental level as your hormones, might be just plain traumatic.

Also, is it worth considering that this upheaval with your friend is actually the cause of what you're going through right now, and that the hormones are just affecting how you're reacting to that stress/those emotions? Maybe because everything is so new, you just haven't learned yet how to process that kind of stress with your changing body?

[allegro]

I know when I went off HRT cold-turkey, I got a helluva a fucking migraine for over two weeks. I'm still having fucking migraines.

Also, be careful not to attribute too much of your emotions to the hormones. You're going through a rough time right now, and this could just be plain old anxiety.

[theruiner]

^^Thanks, Allegro. Yeah, I don't think this is hormonally related. This is just plain old anxiety and depression.

I would urge you to wait until you get directions from your doctor. I'm basing this off what it's like to have female hormones biologically, but hormones don't just affect you physically. They have a significant impact on your emotions. I'd imagine cold-turkey would be something like what new mothers experience when they go through postpartum, maybe even worse.

And you're going through an extremely emotional time right now already, having just a few days ago ended your relationship with your best friend of 14 years. Adding any more emotional upset to the mix, especially something at such a fundamental level as your hormones, might be just plain traumatic.

That's a good point. I just want off these things ASAP. I don't like the idea that it's going to continue making changes. I'm getting very close to a couple of physical changes that aren't reversible- and if that happens I don't know what I'm going to do. That would be a disaster.

Also, is it worth considering that this upheaval with your friend is actually the cause of what you're going through right now, and that the hormones are just affecting how you're reacting to that stress/those emotions? Maybe because everything is so new, you just haven't learned yet how to process that kind of stress with your changing body?

It could be. But the truth is I've been on the fence about this pretty much the entire time I've been on hormones, almost five months now. And what has concerned me the entire time is, what happens when serious, permanent changes happen that I have to live with for the rest of my life and I'm STILL unsure I'm going to transition? These are not changes I can live with. Some of them can be corrected by surgery, at least one of them can't. And one of those changes I suspect is just on the horizon, if not two of them. So it's just getting too late in the game to continue until I'm much more certain.

[Dra508]

I'd imagine cold-turkey would be something like what new mothers experience when they go through postpartum, maybe even worse.

THIS. @theruiner Wait to talk/see to the doc. Your anxiety is getting the best of you. Have you ever thought about meditating? Dead serious. Best thing I ever got into to calm me the fuck down.

[theruiner]

Thanks, Dra. Yeah, I've had a few people mention meditation. I might have to try it. It can't hurt to try, right?

I am feeling a bit better today. I'm still probably going to stop the hormones but if I do I suspect it will only be temporary. Right now I'm just not sure enough to continue, but I know I'm trans, and my need to transition has not gone away, so ultimately I'm probably going to end up back on them. Probably. Even now I am not entirely happy I have to stop the hormones, but I know it's the right thing. And I know that if some of these permanent changes happen, if I put it off and put it off until it gets to that point, that I am going to be in serious trouble, and I would regret it. But it's hard. Because every time I think I'm going to get off them I let myself get sucked back in again and then I put it off. :/ It's very troubling.

[JessicaSarahS]

Thanks, Dra. Yeah, I've had a few people mention meditation. I might have to try it. It can't hurt to try, right?

I am feeling a bit better today. I'm still probably going to stop the hormones but if I do I suspect it will only be temporary. Right now I'm just not sure enough to continue, but I know I'm trans, and my need to transition has not gone away, so ultimately I'm probably going to end up back on them. Probably. Even now I am not entirely happy I have to stop the hormones, but I know it's the right thing. And I know that if some of these permanent changes happen, if I put it off and put it off until it gets to that point, that I am going to be in serious trouble, and I would regret it. But it's hard. Because every time I think I'm going to get off them I let myself get sucked back in again and then I put it off. :/ It's very troubling.

What is scaring you about these changes? How do you envision yourself physically in the next five years?

[ambergris]

Thanks, Dra. Yeah, I've had a few people mention meditation. I might have to try it. It can't hurt to try, right?

I am feeling a bit better today. I'm still probably going to stop the hormones but if I do I suspect it will only be temporary. Right now I'm just not sure enough to continue, but I know I'm trans, and my need to transition has not gone away, so ultimately I'm probably going to end up back on them. Probably. Even now I am not entirely happy I have to stop the hormones, but I know it's the right thing. And I know that if some of these permanent changes happen, if I put it off and put it off until it gets to that point, that I am going to be in serious trouble, and I would regret it. But it's hard. Because every time I think I'm going to get off them I let myself get sucked back in again and then I put it off. :/ It's very troubling.

Hmm, is it possible to stay as you are right now, basically "half-transitioned". I mean, maybe binary identification isn't right for you. Maybe it's better you just do or are as you feel? Sort of intersexual?

[theruiner]

^^Yeah, people have brought that up to me, but I'm not non-binary, or gender fluid or anything. Though I appreciate the advice. I have no interest in doing this halfway, though. I'm either going to go all the way with this or I'm not. I would never be happy in-between.

And, to be fair, right now I'm really not in-between. I've been on these things almost five months and there have BARELY been any changes. I'm way, way behind where I should be. Which, considering where I'm at with this right now is probably a blessing in disguise. But it still kind of annoys me because I have a doctor who doesn't have a clue what she's doing. She was insisting three months ago that my estrogen levels were "high" even though I knew from doing tons of research that not only were they not high, they weren't even close to where they should be. But she upped my dose slightly and I stuck with it for three more months and then, lo and behold, barely anything has changed and I'm way behind. Just like I thought. But I tried to trust that she knew what she was talking about and I now know she didn't. But that still doesn't mean these changes I'm worried about can't happen soon, because things ARE changing, just slower than they should be.

[icklekitty]

I definitely agree that your "professionals" weren't the wisest. What's the situation like re: being able to get second opinions/choosing your specialists?

[theruiner]

Well, I have been dragging my feet a bit on finding a new therapist. I like my original therapist now but I still need a second opinion and she's so booked up that she can basically fit me in once a month, if even that. So she's not going to work. I did go to another one for a few sessions but she sucked so I stopped seeing her.

What is scaring you about these changes? How do you envision yourself physically in the next five years?

Well, (and this might be TMI, so, be warned, everyone) but there's breast growth (which I already have some of, which may or may not be reversible depending on who you talk to). I'm much more concerned about the nipple changing, which really should have started by now but, thankfully, has not. That's not reversible except through surgery. And then there are changes to the male parts which are absolutely irreversible, even with surgery. And THAT is what scares me the most. If I end up transitioning it won't matter but if I don't (and there's a good chance I won't) that is not something I could live with. Like, I don't even know what I would do if that happened.

As far as where I'll be in five years, I honestly don't know. If I decide to transition I hope I will be physically female long before then. If I don't then I hope I haven't done too much damage to myself. Which is why I have to go off these things asap.

[theruiner]

Sorry for the double post.

So...I called my doctor's office, scheduled an appointment as soon as they could fit me in (a little over a week) so I can get off the hormones. Now I can be alternately depressed and relieved that I'm getting off of them.

[JessicaSarahS]

Sorry for the double post.

So...I called my doctor's office, scheduled an appointment as soon as they could fit me in (a little over a week) so I can get off the hormones. Now I can be alternately depressed and relieved that I'm getting off of them.

Sounds like it's for the best, especially with the uncertainty. Hope all goes well.

[Sarah K]

So, one of my roommates started questioning me about one of my other roommates.

He asked me if she was a "tranny", and if she was, why nobody asked him if it was okay before she moved in.

I said that I wasn't sure what her identity was. I told him that I didn't really feel that it was any of our business unless she chose to share any of that information with us willingly. I encouraged him to RESPECTFULLY ask her questions if he felt some overwhelming need to know more. He kept asking borderline offensive questions to which I just kept responding that he should speak with her.

Is this right? I mean, should I try to answer what general questions that I can? I wouldn't answer anything about her specifically, but I mean just about the topic as a whole. I dunno. It was really weird.

[theruiner]

Just my opinion, but I would just tell him it's none of his business and leave it at that. Honestly, it really, really shouldn't matter to him. At all. Why in he world he thinks anyone should have to ask him if it's "ok" with him that a trans* person moved in is beyond me. Or why he would care.

I just really don't get people. Are you going to date this person? No? Then STFU. (Aimed at him, not you, obviously).

[JessicaSarahS]

He asked me if she was a "tranny", and if she was, why nobody asked him if it was okay before she moved in.

What an asshole. It doesn't matter at all! And I hate when people use the word "tranny."