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Thread: The Return of Random Stupidity

  1. #781
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    Never thought I'd hear myself saying this but...Tom Cruise...FTW?


  2. #782
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    You are here: Home / Uncategorized / Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is:
    http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/05/1...ting-there-is/

    Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is

    MAY 15, 2012 BY JOHN SCALZI

    I’ve been thinking of a way to explain to straight white men how life works for them, without invoking the dreaded word “privilege,” to which they react like vampires being fed a garlic tart at high noon. It’s not that the word “privilege” is incorrect, it’s that it’s not theirword. When confronted with “privilege,” they fiddle with the word itself, and haul out the dictionaries and find every possible way to talk about the word but not any of the things the word signifies.
    So, the challenge: how to get across the ideas bound up in the word “privilege,” in a way that your average straight white man will get, without freaking out about it?
    Being a white guy who likes women, here’s how I would do it:
    Dudes. Imagine life here in the US — or indeed, pretty much anywhere in the Western world — is a massive role playing game, like World of Warcraft except appallingly mundane, where most quests involve the acquisition of money, cell phones and donuts, although not always at the same time. Let’s call it The Real World. You have installed The Real World on your computer and are about to start playing, but first you go to the settings tab to bind your keys, fiddle with your defaults, and choose the difficulty setting for the game. Got it?
    Okay: In the role playing game known as The Real World, “Straight White Male” is the lowest difficulty setting there is.
    This means that the default behaviors for almost all the non-player characters in the game are easier on you than they would be otherwise. The default barriers for completions of quests are lower. Your leveling-up thresholds come more quickly. You automatically gain entry to some parts of the map that others have to work for. The game is easier to play, automatically, and when you need help, by default it’s easier to get.
    Now, once you’ve selected the “Straight White Male” difficulty setting, you still have to create a character, and how many points you get to start — and how they are apportioned — will make a difference. Initially the computer will tell you how many points you get and how they are divided up. If you start with 25 points, and your dump stat is wealth, well, then you may be kind of screwed. If you start with 250 points and your dump stat is charisma, well, then you’re probably fine. Be aware the computer makes it difficult to start with more than 30 points; people on higher difficulty settings generally start with even fewer than that.
    As the game progresses, your goal is to gain points, apportion them wisely, and level up. If you start with fewer points and fewer of them in critical stat categories, or choose poorly regarding the skills you decide to level up on, then the game will still be difficult for you. But because you’re playing on the “Straight White Male” setting, gaining points and leveling up will still by default be easier, all other things being equal, than for another player using a higher difficulty setting.
    Likewise, it’s certainly possible someone playing at a higher difficulty setting is progressing more quickly than you are, because they had more points initially given to them by the computer and/or their highest stats are wealth, intelligence and constitution and/or simply because they play the game better than you do. It doesn’t change the fact you are still playing on the lowest difficulty setting.
    You can lose playing on the lowest difficulty setting. The lowest difficulty setting is still the easiest setting to win on. The player who plays on the “Gay Minority Female” setting?Hardcore.
    And maybe at this point you say, hey, I like a challenge, I want to change my difficulty setting! Well, here’s the thing: In The Real World, you don’t unlock any rewards or receive any benefit for playing on higher difficulty settings. The game is just harder, and potentially a lot less fun. And you say, okay, but what if I want to replay the game later on a higher difficulty setting, just to see what it’s like? Well, here’s the other thing about The Real World: You only get to play it once. So why make it more difficult than it has to be? Your goal is to win the game, not make it difficult.
    Oh, and one other thing. Remember when I said that you could choose your difficulty setting in The Real World? Well, I lied. In fact, the computer chooses the difficulty setting for you. You don’t get a choice; you just get what gets given to you at the start of the game, and then you have to deal with it.
    So that’s “Straight White Male” for you in The Real World (and also, in the real world): The lowest difficulty setting there is. All things being equal, and even when they are not, if the computer — or life — assigns you the “Straight White Male” difficulty setting, then brother, you’ve caught a break.


  3. #783
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  4. #784
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  5. #785
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    Awesome parents!


  7. #787
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    Please tell me there's a follow-up news article for this!

  8. #788
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_CDN View Post
    Please tell me there's a follow-up news article for this!
    Just action news, but that will do... http://www.woio.com/story/18577775/n...nd-turns-it-on

  9. #789
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    I felt like such an asshole for laughing that I had to share it with you guys.

  10. #790
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    Quote Originally Posted by october_midnight View Post

    Yeah, you'd think Obi Wan could have at least given him a user's manual first, or at the very least have said "See that big button? Okay, DON'T press that until I tell you to, it makes the laser come out of the... yeah, out of the part you're looking into. Are you a fucking retard? Is there anyone else on this planet I can give this to?"

  11. #791
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    Also, from FB:
    Cousin: "I would love a doctor's office that has no screaming kids in the waiting room."
    Cousin's friend: "Abortion clinic?"

  12. #792
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    One more for the road. McDonalds, three posters next to each other:
    "Quarter Pounder - 100% REAL BEEF!"
    "McChicken - 100% REAL CHICKEN!"
    "Filet-O-Fish - TANGY TARTAR SAUCE!"

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  14. #794
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    oh man, 80's wrestling videos could fill the whole thread!

  15. #795
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    anyone checkout http://www.google.com this morning, pretty nifty!

  16. #796
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    Quote Originally Posted by millionmilesaway View Post
    anyone checkout http://www.google.com this morning, pretty nifty!
    My workday production just got destroyed.

  17. #797
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    I don't see anything randomly stupid about Robert Moog's birthday. Without him, this forum wouldn't even exist if you think about it - but whatever - check out the Documentary thread for a nice little film about the man & his work.

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  19. #799
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    Tragically, not a joke.

  20. #800
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stereo75 View Post
    I don't see anything randomly stupid about Robert Moog's birthday. Without him, this forum wouldn't even exist if you think about it - but whatever - check out the Documentary thread for a nice little film about the man & his work.
    No but playing with a Flash driven moog toy for 3 hours is randomly stupid.

  21. #801
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    I'd play it.


  22. #802
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  23. #803
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    u_u


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  25. #805
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    "Why do you insist on running with two legs? Do not believe the propaganda. Learn to run ferally, on all fours. Never be late again." - NotTildaSwinton

    Poetry.

  26. #806
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    Been following that Twitter account since Sunday...it's gold. The best was when it was replying to Andrew WK and other comedians and celebrities. So fucking hilarious.

  27. #807
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    Dude, yes! I was in nearly in tears earlier going through all of it. Another one that I really enjoyed was ".DEAHDOG". I lol'd so hard when I read that. It's so subtle, and so fucking awesome.

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    Last edited by henryeatscereal; 05-25-2012 at 04:28 PM.

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