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Thread: The Return of Random Stupidity

  1. #421
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    NUKEMAP

    Drag the marker to a certain location, choose a bomb from history, click 'detonate', see how far the devastation and fallout would reach. I chose the bomb from Hiroshima and let it drop downtown Vancouver. Barring no winds, I think I'd be aight!

    In retrospect, choosing the biggest bombs, the Pacific Northwest is pretty much fucked. I take it back...
    Last edited by october_midnight; 02-21-2012 at 06:48 PM.

  2. #422
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  3. #423
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  5. #425
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    Quote Originally Posted by october_midnight View Post
    NUKEMAP

    Drag the marker to a certain location, choose a bomb from history, click 'detonate', see how far the devastation and fallout would reach. I chose the bomb from Hiroshima and let it drop downtown Vancouver. Barring no winds, I think I'd be aight!

    In retrospect, choosing the biggest bombs, the Pacific Northwest is pretty much fucked. I take it back...
    It goddamn well better be 3 megatons or over so we take Surrey with us.

  6. #426
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  7. #427
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  8. #428
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  9. #429
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  10. #430
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    You know I kind of knew it? Strange thing was that it was the picture of the tattoo that did it...'no way that's real'.

  11. #431
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    So while watching Black Books...i was mid mouthful of food, and actually spit it out from laughing from the show. That was a gross experience.

  12. #432
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  13. #433
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    Quote Originally Posted by october_midnight View Post
    You know I kind of knew it? Strange thing was that it was the picture of the tattoo that did it...'no way that's real'.
    Aww, when i read that was a hoax i thought it was the girl playing a prank on her real boyfriend, not that the WHOLE situation was made up. Lame.

  14. #434
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    I don't think the fakeness of the boyfriend tattoo thread takes away any from the funny-factor. Well done, I say. Well done.

  15. #435
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  16. #436
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    Quote Originally Posted by sentient02970 View Post
    I don't think the fakeness of the boyfriend tattoo thread takes away any from the funny-factor. Well done, I say. Well done.
    Yeah, real or not, that Adele part was fucking unreal. I lol'd so godamn hard.

  17. #437
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    Quote Originally Posted by october_midnight View Post
    [video of old man singing "hot in heere"]
    this didn't make me feel uncomfortable AT ALL...

  18. #438
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  19. #439
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    Quote Originally Posted by halloween View Post
    this didn't make me feel uncomfortable AT ALL...
    Was the discomfort because you found him incredibly sexy?

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  21. #441
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    i fucking love Adele. I love her

  22. #442
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  23. #443
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    Amazon is selling a 55-gallon drum of lube. I repeat: Amazon is selling a 55-gallon drum of lube. The product description and reviews are a must-read:
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MR3IVO/..._La-spb0RVXP66

  24. #444
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    Quote Originally Posted by leo3375 View Post
    Amazon is selling a 55-gallon drum of lube. I repeat: Amazon is selling a 55-gallon drum of lube. The product description and reviews are a must-read:
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MR3IVO/..._La-spb0RVXP66
    Customers who viewed this item also viewed...

  25. #445
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    That was awesome. I have to post this one in full:
    I knew getting back in the "dating game" would be a challenge after being out of
    it for over 5 years. When I was released from Joliet, I had to learn all the new
    things "the dating crowd" was trying. I knew about scented candles and Luther
    Vandross CDs, and sure was glad to hear people still use them. But I had no idea
    that "lube" was so popular with the "romantics" out there. All it took was one
    stroll through the Walgreens personal hygiene aisle to prove I had to learn a
    new thing.

    "Where to start?", I wondered. I wanted something simple.
    However, all I saw in the stores were lubricants that were flavored with
    cinnamon and paprika, or designed to somehow "heat" your private parts. No way,
    Jose! (I experienced the "heat" thing personally once after an adventurous
    incident with a toaster. I'll stick with "room temperature" from now on, thank
    you very much.)

    Luckily, I found a plain, old-fashioned lubricant that
    would not make me smell like a dessert topping. And it came in this HUGE tub! No
    more awkward late-night Walgreens runs for me, once I could get my hands on this
    lubricant bin. Now, I admit the price tag was kinda hefty. But after selling the
    ol' Pontiac Sunfire and borrowing some cash from Aunt Gladys, I was "ready to
    place my order."

    The product only took a week to arrive, and got to my
    apartment just in time for my first real "date" since the gas station incident.
    You can bet I was nervous for this one. When I got off the bus to meet Carla in
    front of the Chili's, I just about had a heart attack! The only thing keeping me
    calm was knowing that I could not possibly run out of lube that night. I gave
    Carla a reassuring nod and smile, as if to say "Don't worry, Carla, I have
    plenty of lubricant for later."

    The dinner was great, and after knocking
    back a couple Mojo Mango Margaritas, we were ready to head back to my apartment.
    I winked and told Carla, "Let's SLIP on out of here," to see if she understood
    the lubricant lingo. I think she did. Throughout the bus ride back, I grinned
    and hummed Luther Vandross tunes to set the mood.

    When we got to my
    place, I already had a candle burning. It was by "Glade", which I think you
    pronounce like the singer Sade, because it is an exotic candle that smells just
    like real pine. After we got comfortable, I asked Carla if she could help me
    with the lube. She looked at me weird, and I couldn't tell if it was because she
    thought it was "too soon" or because I was pushing a mechanical lift to get the
    drum barrel out of the storage closet.

    So I "took the initiative", as
    women like men to do, and rolled the barrel out into the living room. "Ready to
    tap the keg?" I joked, and by "keg" I meant "55-gallon barrel of personal
    lubricant." She looked at me all shocked, and said "That's it, I'm out of here!"
    I asked why, since she didn't need to run to Walgreens for more lubricant -
    there was plenty right here. But she didn't answer, and got up to leave anyway.
    Then, as Carla was about to pass me and the barrel, she tripped on my dog
    Poochie and fell right into the lube barrel! The force of the impact downed the
    barrel and knocked its lid off, sending 55 gallons of water-based lubricant
    across my faux-hardwood floors.

    Carla was completely drenched, and her
    momentum slid her to the front door - which she somehow managed to pry open with
    a pair of oven mitts. The last thing I knew, "No-Fun Carla" was screaming
    profanities and sliding down three flights of steps. I didn't pay much attention
    because I was too busy trying to salvage the lube. I managed to get about half
    of it back into the barrel - the other half probably seeped into Mrs. Pulaski's
    unit below me. I never bothered to ask if she appreciated the free gift of
    lubricant.

    Anyway, despite my "user error", I was quite pleased with the
    product. These days it's hard to find 55 gallons of scent-free water-based
    lubricant, and you can find it right here at a discount rate! I had to give it
    only "4 Stars" because it didn't come with a lifting apparatus. I had to buy my
    own mechanical lift separately to haul the bin to my future "dates". So if
    you're ready for fun, "slide" on down to a high quality product at a bargain
    price!

  26. #446
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    Someone's been watching Rob Sheridan's Twitterrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    It's no steering wheel tray, but it still brings the lulz.

  27. #447
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    AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  28. #448
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fixer808 View Post



    AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    I wish for you to impregnate me.

  29. #449
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    So that's all it took?

  30. #450
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    Believe me, it would probably take less. BELIEVE ME.

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