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Thread: The Alternative Sexuality thread

  1. #331
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    omg that's awesome

  2. #332
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    We are heading to a play party this weekend to talk more and do some lighter play to ensure that we are compatible. I have known him casually for a few years, but we aren't super close, and we have never played before.

    I haven't played with a new person in over two years, so I am sure it will be quite an adventure!

  3. #333
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    Man, I'm going to a play party next weekend where I had this tiny, small, weird fucking little experience last time and I've realized I still feel uncomfortable about it.

    Basically, I was wearing shorts with visible, pretty stockings and a garter belt over it. Earlier in the night, the guy who works security, who had been at prior events, had watched/verbally given a heads up about my seams while my friend helped me straighten my stockings.

    Cue later in the night, I've had a couple of drinks, he and I are on friendly-banter terms, and I'm coming back from the bathroom and dude lets me know my stockings aren't straight. I go "Oh?" and turn around so he can assist and he starts to adjust them and then stops and goes "I'm just kidding." and the experience made me uncomfortable?

    I recounted this on Facebook back when it had initially happened and got SOME REAL FUCKING UNHELPFUL advice about consent being like tea and you know what, no. I don't think the guy was wildly inappropriate, but he was over my lines. Grey sexual experiences, grey consent, is ABSOLUTELY a thing, and erasing that is damaging. I would have been perfectly fine with the dude doing what he did if he'd actually fixed my damn stockings. I'd turned around so he could!

    And then like, here's another thing, this is a small members-only event run by people who are ON THEIR SHIT with consent stuff. So I think that happening in that space, by someone ON STAFF, just fucked with me. So I'm feeling a little weird and uncomfortable about being back there again next weekend. It's a *really fun event* otherwise. Formal attire, small group, fancy cocktails, it's lovely.

    I *think* what I should do here is that basically if it comes up again in any context, address it, and for now just assume positive intent and poor execution. But ugh, ugh.

  4. #334
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    Sorry to hear about you going through that. I can imagine it's especially disappointing, having somewhat let your guard down a bit, with the expectation or hopes to have some protection from a welcoming kink-friendly environment.

  5. #335
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    I'm going in much less femme-y garb this time/in less of a passive headspace, and I think that's going to up my comfort levels a bit. Full suit, etc. But yeah, bleh. Thank you.

  6. #336
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    @ophelia_ and I are gonna go to Paddles on 10/06 if you wanna come and have sandwiches or whatever.

    I've somehow never been to Paddles.

  7. #337
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    Womp. I'm doing some dominance intensive thing all that weekend -- I might make it out after if you two stay out late? I have also never been to Paddles but that's way less surprising coming from me.

  8. #338
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    Is it with Midori?!

    Edit - I just creeped, and it is. She is awesome. That will be a great experience.

    Double Edit - Paddles is like 10pm - 3am, so if you are up for it, definitely come. But I bet you'll be tired!
    Last edited by Sarah K; 09-17-2017 at 08:13 PM.

  9. #339
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    YEP. (aaaaah)

  10. #340
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    I am just having A Weekend

  11. #341
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    happy coming out day, everyone! though i am married to a woman and look like a man, i am both queer and trans. i came out as bisexual in 8th grade and everything else from there just felt like a natural progression.

    for those of us who feel safe being out, let's set good examples for those who don't feel safe. let's help change things so that people can be themselves without fear of repercussions.

  12. #342
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    This looks interesting.

  13. #343
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    I came out as gay to my family and friends yesterday. Some of them knew already, but most didn't. I've had positive support all around, including from people I didn't expect to be supportive.

  14. #344
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRoswell View Post
    I came out as gay to my family and friends yesterday. Some of them knew already, but most didn't. I've had positive support all around, including from people I didn't expect to be supportive.
    congratulations and welcome to the family!

  15. #345
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    I came out to my mom and four of my closest friends at the beginning of this year. Two of my friends were 100% clued in for quite some time, LOL. Pretty sure my mom had to have known as well. They all accepted it beautifully, and one of my friends came out to me as bisexual when I came out to him.

  16. #346
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    last week, brooklyn nine nine aired two episodes for their fall finale. the first dealt with one of the main characters coming out as bi not only to the squad but to their family, and it was handled realistically and beautifully. i love that show's ability to handle delicate social subjects with grace and poignancy while still being a comedy, at heart. needless to say, my wife (who is bi) and i were both crying a lot.
    Last edited by eversonpoe; 12-18-2017 at 10:26 AM.

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