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Thread: The Alternative Sexuality thread

  1. #331
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    omg that's awesome

  2. #332
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    We are heading to a play party this weekend to talk more and do some lighter play to ensure that we are compatible. I have known him casually for a few years, but we aren't super close, and we have never played before.

    I haven't played with a new person in over two years, so I am sure it will be quite an adventure!

  3. #333
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    Man, I'm going to a play party next weekend where I had this tiny, small, weird fucking little experience last time and I've realized I still feel uncomfortable about it.

    Basically, I was wearing shorts with visible, pretty stockings and a garter belt over it. Earlier in the night, the guy who works security, who had been at prior events, had watched/verbally given a heads up about my seams while my friend helped me straighten my stockings.

    Cue later in the night, I've had a couple of drinks, he and I are on friendly-banter terms, and I'm coming back from the bathroom and dude lets me know my stockings aren't straight. I go "Oh?" and turn around so he can assist and he starts to adjust them and then stops and goes "I'm just kidding." and the experience made me uncomfortable?

    I recounted this on Facebook back when it had initially happened and got SOME REAL FUCKING UNHELPFUL advice about consent being like tea and you know what, no. I don't think the guy was wildly inappropriate, but he was over my lines. Grey sexual experiences, grey consent, is ABSOLUTELY a thing, and erasing that is damaging. I would have been perfectly fine with the dude doing what he did if he'd actually fixed my damn stockings. I'd turned around so he could!

    And then like, here's another thing, this is a small members-only event run by people who are ON THEIR SHIT with consent stuff. So I think that happening in that space, by someone ON STAFF, just fucked with me. So I'm feeling a little weird and uncomfortable about being back there again next weekend. It's a *really fun event* otherwise. Formal attire, small group, fancy cocktails, it's lovely.

    I *think* what I should do here is that basically if it comes up again in any context, address it, and for now just assume positive intent and poor execution. But ugh, ugh.

  4. #334
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    Sorry to hear about you going through that. I can imagine it's especially disappointing, having somewhat let your guard down a bit, with the expectation or hopes to have some protection from a welcoming kink-friendly environment.

  5. #335
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    I'm going in much less femme-y garb this time/in less of a passive headspace, and I think that's going to up my comfort levels a bit. Full suit, etc. But yeah, bleh. Thank you.

  6. #336
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    @ophelia_ and I are gonna go to Paddles on 10/06 if you wanna come and have sandwiches or whatever.

    I've somehow never been to Paddles.

  7. #337
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    Womp. I'm doing some dominance intensive thing all that weekend -- I might make it out after if you two stay out late? I have also never been to Paddles but that's way less surprising coming from me.

  8. #338
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    Is it with Midori?!

    Edit - I just creeped, and it is. She is awesome. That will be a great experience.

    Double Edit - Paddles is like 10pm - 3am, so if you are up for it, definitely come. But I bet you'll be tired!
    Last edited by Sarah K; 09-17-2017 at 08:13 PM.

  9. #339
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    YEP. (aaaaah)

  10. #340
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    I am just having A Weekend

  11. #341
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    happy coming out day, everyone! though i am married to a woman and look like a man, i am both queer and trans. i came out as bisexual in 8th grade and everything else from there just felt like a natural progression.

    for those of us who feel safe being out, let's set good examples for those who don't feel safe. let's help change things so that people can be themselves without fear of repercussions.

  12. #342
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    This looks interesting.

  13. #343
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    I came out as gay to my family and friends yesterday. Some of them knew already, but most didn't. I've had positive support all around, including from people I didn't expect to be supportive.

  14. #344
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRoswell View Post
    I came out as gay to my family and friends yesterday. Some of them knew already, but most didn't. I've had positive support all around, including from people I didn't expect to be supportive.
    congratulations and welcome to the family!

  15. #345
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    I came out to my mom and four of my closest friends at the beginning of this year. Two of my friends were 100% clued in for quite some time, LOL. Pretty sure my mom had to have known as well. They all accepted it beautifully, and one of my friends came out to me as bisexual when I came out to him.

  16. #346
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    last week, brooklyn nine nine aired two episodes for their fall finale. the first dealt with one of the main characters coming out as bi not only to the squad but to their family, and it was handled realistically and beautifully. i love that show's ability to handle delicate social subjects with grace and poignancy while still being a comedy, at heart. needless to say, my wife (who is bi) and i were both crying a lot.
    Last edited by eversonpoe; 12-18-2017 at 09:26 AM.

  17. #347
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    Hey everyone on here. I'm gay and weirdly do not have any gay friends. At this point most of my straight friends are married. I did NOT plan well for this inevitable future! So ... hello!

  18. #348
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    I feel you on that, with the exception of my two bi friends. Maybe look into going to some sort of Pride event? I've been thinking of doing that myself at some point.

  19. #349
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pbgut View Post
    Hey everyone on here. I'm gay and weirdly do not have any gay friends. At this point most of my straight friends are married. I did NOT plan well for this inevitable future! So ... hello!
    i feel like 75% of my friends are queer, which is really nice, because i have never really felt like i was truly part of the queer community. i didn't think i was "gay enough" when i was younger, i didn't really come out as trans until a couple years ago, and i just didn't want anyone to think i was some sort of invader. it's a shitty feeling to be part of a marginalized group but to not feel like that group will accept you openly.

  20. #350
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    Not to get nitpicky about this thread and those posting to it recently, but it seems like some of these posts are a little off-topic. I always took this to be the successor to the BDSM thread on the old site, and the recent discussion has tended more towards coming out.

  21. #351
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    Yeah weird, I thought we had one. Could only find a bi thread (that you made, ha): http://www.echoingthesound.org/commu...isexual-Thread

  22. #352
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    WOOF!

    It's been a while since my last post here (even in any ETS thread), so here's my pup self waving a paw and saying hello.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  23. #353
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    I know I'm like a stuck record on this point, and it's been years now... but I am once again unhappy with my sex life with my wife, and I know it's never the right time to ask if she'd be OK with me dating/sleeping with other people. Part of it has to do with the fact that I'm into kink/BDSM and I want to explore that further, and she is pretty vanilla. Whenever I ask her to try stuff I'm into it ends up awkward at best, her disgusted and troubled at worst. This bothers me because there's a whole aspect of my sexuality that I can only explore with masturbation when she's not around. She's had a few health problems over the years and we've been unsuccessfully trying for another baby for a while - which has also made sex into this awkward monthly duty. I don't want another romantic relationship, but I do want the freedom to have sexual contact with other people. I don't want to cheat or do it behind her back; several times it has seemed to me that her vibe has been that she wouldn't want to know if I were doing stuff. But I am very prone to guilt, and don't want to do it without asking first. The problem is that I really have no idea how it would go down and I don't even know if I haven't asked before because I know it would be a shitstorm or because I'm just scared.
    Last edited by aggroculture; 03-19-2018 at 01:48 PM.

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