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Thread: The Feminist Thread

  1. #61
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    I've never thought twice about telling a woman she's beautiful. I'm a little more reserved about doing so with men unless it's in a setting with a lot of Latinos/Latinas. We tell each other we're gorgeous all the time.
    Last edited by Baphomette; 08-13-2015 at 10:39 PM.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Baphomette View Post
    I've never thought twice about telling a woman she's beautiful. I'm a little moire reserved about doing so with men unless it's in a setting with a lot of Latinos/Latinas. We tell each other we're gorgeous all the time.
    Exactly, women telling other women they look beautiful is different, I do it all the time. The ladies' room full of drunks is like a love party, "girrrrrrl you look gooooooood."
    Last edited by allegro; 08-13-2015 at 10:09 PM.

  3. #63
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    I actually do think about it! I tend to feel kinda awkward around women I'm attracted to and don't want to be creepy.

    Also the compliments thing for people I *don't* want to think I'm hitting them is also a thing. I don't want them to think I have expectations OR create them.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Exactly, women telling other women they look beautiful is different, I do it all the time. The ladies' room full of drunks is like a love party, "girrrrrrl you look gooooooood."
    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    I actually do think about it! I tend to feel kinda awkward around women I'm attracted to and don't want to be creepy.

    Also the compliments thing for people I *don't* want to think I'm hitting them is also a thing. I don't want them to think I have expectations OR create them.
    yeah i think it's definitely different for straight women.

    i used to have a hard time telling dudes that i found them attractive because i knew most of them would think i was hitting on them, even if it was just a friend who i thought looked nice. thankfully, these days, i have a group of friends who know i'm not hitting on them and just being nice, and they're all pretty handsome, so i like being able to tell them they look good!

  5. #65
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    I think complimenting someone's choice of style/artwork/clothing is generally (fuckboys aside) seen as more of a compliment than complimenting the...inevitable genetic result of your parents fucking.

  6. #66
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    perfect example of why the kind of behavior we've been discussing is a problem (and gross)


    "I am an innocent beautiful lesbian and I don’t deserve this"

    source

  7. #67
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    Heh, this does bring up the fact that heterosexuality is most people's default, especially in regard to female sexuality. Like, the very thought that a woman could be queer is unfathomable. Just the other day, I was telling @playwithfire about this guy who just had to let me know I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen-classic fuckboy delivery-and he asked if I had a boyfriend. I told him no and he automatically thought he was in so he asked for my number. I had to clarify that I had a girlfriend and this dumbass still asked for my number.


    I do have a funny if pathetic anecdote to share though: sometime back, this young man, who looked barely legal, tried to ask me out and failed miserably. All these incidents have been at work, as if this needs reminding. I told him no and instead of leaving it at that, he tries to play 20 Questions with me, asking how is he supposed to get to know me if I don't give him a chance, blah blah blah. This went on for a good five minutes, wasting my damn time. Finally, he said he hoped I wasn't gay because it was "going around at the moment" between girls. It broke my heart to have to tell him "yes". As if this incident wasn't bad enough, this fuckboy showed up like a month later to ask me out again in case I changed my mind. Uggggggggghhhhhh. I told him to leave the building, otherwise I would call security.

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by orestes View Post
    Finally, he said he hoped I wasn't gay because it was "going around at the moment" between girls.
    What ? Like the flu ?!

    Although, I won't judge, god fucking knows what I was certain of at (say 21) in my infinite virginal wisdom...

  9. #69
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    Yeah, I came down with a virulent strain of the gay. Had me out for a week!

    -----------------------------------------

    I love this magical lady!

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Exactly, women telling other women they look beautiful is different, I do it all the time. The ladies' room full of drunks is like a love party, "girrrrrrl you look gooooooood."
    My favorite situation in life is hanging with fellow drunk girls in bathrooms ahaah its the most positive environment imaginable. All those one night friendships :')

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I think complimenting someone's choice of style/artwork/clothing is generally (fuckboys aside) seen as more of a compliment than complimenting the...inevitable genetic result of your parents fucking.
    Sometimes, the person you're complementing doesn't have a distinct style or any artwork about or an interesting item of clothing. And a compliment that has to be thought out isn't really a compliment at all. It's a ploy.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by orestes View Post
    I love this magical lady!
    THAT ... and she ... is awesome. Thank you.

  13. #73
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    @orestes I wonder if you know how extremely condescending and arrogant you sound. "Pff all these pathetic little people bellow my level, why do they even talk to me?" Maybe step down from the pedestal you put yourself on a little bit, why don't you?

  14. #74
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    Good thing my self-worth isn't tied to someone else's opinion!

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by telee.kom View Post
    @orestes I wonder if you know how extremely condescending and arrogant you sound. "Pff all these pathetic little people bellow my level, why do they even talk to me?" Maybe step down from the pedestal you put yourself on a little bit, why don't you?
    are you into victim blaming, too? what on earth has she done to ask for the attention of these people who are obviously out to gain something for themselves? nothing. so why should she have to deal with their bullshit?

  16. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by telee.kom View Post
    @orestes I wonder if you know how extremely condescending and arrogant you sound. "Pff all these pathetic little people bellow my level, why do they even talk to me?" Maybe step down from the pedestal you put yourself on a little bit, why don't you?
    Yeah, how dare a woman have self-respect and a sense of worth? TAKE AWAY THEIR VOTES.

    Also, using your own words, "I wonder if you know how much of a fedora-wearing, Reddit-dwelling fat fuck you sound."

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    are you into victim blaming, too? what on earth has she done to ask for the attention of these people who are obviously out to gain something for themselves? nothing. so why should she have to deal with their bullshit?
    What the hell are you talking about? Sure, you are such a poor child who need to withstand all these compliments and attention of other people. Truly horrible. Here, take a kleenex

    Quote Originally Posted by slave2thewage View Post
    Yeah, how dare a woman have self-respect and a sense of worth? TAKE AWAY THEIR VOTES.

    Also, using your own words, "I wonder if you know how much of a fedora-wearing, Reddit-dwelling fat fuck you sound."
    So acting like an arrogant prick equals having a self respect? The new things I learn on this board
    Last edited by telee.kom; 08-15-2015 at 07:48 AM.

  18. #78
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    Have you read any of her posts or just decided to get angry that she wasn't satisfied with that kind of interactions at her workplace ?

  19. #79
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    I'm not angry, I'm just saying that she sounds arrogant because she does.

    this guy who just had to let me know I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen-classic fuckboy delivery-and he asked if I had a boyfriend. I told him no and he automatically thought he was in so he asked for my number. I had to clarify that I had a girlfriend and this dumbass still asked for my number.
    I mean, if you don't think this sounds condescending, than I don't know what does.

    Or you're trying to tell me that if I said "this girl who just had to let me know I was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen-classic stupid cunt delivery-and she asked if I had a girlfriend. I told him no and she automatically thought she was in so she asked for my number. I had to clarify that I had a girlfriend and this dumbass still asked for my number." I wouldn't be for complete asshole?
    Last edited by telee.kom; 08-15-2015 at 08:02 AM.

  20. #80
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    You can't just reverse-gender a statement, due to the vast differences between how each gender handles and experiences daily interactions.

    More often than not when I get a compliment/comment, which is once every blue moon, fucking me isn't the endgame.
    More often than not when women get a compliment/comment, which is every day, the subtext is "let's bone".

    My reaction isn't equivalent to @orestes reaction. You act as if men and women are treated and behaving equally. They are not, and they do not.

    How you wouldn't know that, how you wouldn't have witnessed that, how lady friends of yours wouldn't have mentioned it in passing to you is baffling to me.

    Every woman that I've known, friends and girlfriends alike, have had to deal with flirting, innuendos, unwelcome touching of the hair or clothes, sex jokes, prying, and questions about their intimacy and relationship status (quickly followed in some cases with the dismissal of said relationship) in the workplace, in the streets...
    How often does that happen to you ? In the last ten years ?
    Last edited by Khrz; 08-15-2015 at 08:31 AM.

  21. #81
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    Can we just make him his own thread so he can jerk himself off without being a complete and total asshole to everyone else?

    Fuck.

  22. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by telee.kom View Post
    @orestes I wonder if you know how extremely condescending and arrogant you sound. "Pff all these pathetic little people bellow my level, why do they even talk to me?" Maybe step down from the pedestal you put yourself on a little bit, why don't you?
    I thought you weren't posting in this thread anymore. That was a good move. For all five minutes it lasted.

  23. #83
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    There was a forum where, beside a public forum and a Clique one, there were two private subs dedicated and restricted to each gender, which was hilarious because as thriving as the women's one apparently was, the guys' forum was filled with "soooo.... What's up ? Nuthin. Okay cool, cool" posts.

    That probably wouldn't work here, it's not quite that kind of community, but seriously that thread would totally belong in a Womens Only private sub.

  24. #84
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    I'm a dude as is @eversonpoe , and we have been quite supportive (him more vocally than me). I'm not sure that's the answer.

  25. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swykk View Post
    I'm a dude as is @eversonpoe, and we have been quite supportive (him more vocally than me). I'm not sure that's the answer.
    I wasn't really serious.

    But honestly, I don't think our support is necessary or vital enough to outweigh such disruptions. We merely comment from the sidelines (well, I do). We're apparently welcome, but we're not needed.
    I don't know if that's the answer, but nothing of real value would be lost, in my opinion.

  26. #86
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    I wasn't sure as I don't know you too well. You're coming at it from a "greater good" perspective which makes sense.

  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah K View Post
    Can we just make him his own thread so he can jerk himself off without being a complete and total asshole to everyone else?

    Fuck.

  28. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by telee.kom View Post
    @orestes I wonder if you know how extremely condescending and arrogant you sound. "Pff all these pathetic little people bellow my level, why do they even talk to me?" Maybe step down from the pedestal you put yourself on a little bit, why don't you?
    I'm not sure if you're trolling or not or if it's a cultural thing but I do believe that you don't understand feminism in particular and women in general.

    The anecdote @orestes told us is a perfect example of the "she says no but really means yes" culture, the one that has led and still leads to countless cases of sexual harassment and rape. This is the subtext I read in her post while all you saw was her being "condescending and arrogant". This is why feminism is still important and still has its place in society.

    Meanwhile, in women's rights news: 11-year-old rape victim who was denied abortion (because stupid men think Jesus wants rape victims to suffer, especially little girls) gives birth. Paraguay officials are quick to tell "see? She's fine and the baby is fine. Nothing to see here".

    So much work yet to be done...

  29. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by orestes View Post
    he asked if I had a boyfriend. I told him no
    Quote Originally Posted by orestes View Post
    [another guy] tries to play 20 Questions with me, asking how is he supposed to get to know me if I don't give him a chance
    Is there a way that, instead of answering these people or allowing them any leeway, you can shut that conversation down with a polite (rehearsed) "I'm sorry, employees are not allowed to discuss these kinds of personal matters, it violates company policy" or something like that? Keep everything on a very professional level and continue to remind them that you are a professional, at work?

  30. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khrz View Post
    You can't just reverse-gender a statement, due to the vast differences between how each gender handles and experiences daily interactions.

    More often than not when I get a compliment/comment, which is once every blue moon, fucking me isn't the endgame.
    More often than not when women get a compliment/comment, which is every day, the subtext is "let's bone".

    My reaction isn't equivalent to @orestes reaction. You act as if men and women are treated and behaving equally. They are not, and they do not.

    How you wouldn't know that, how you wouldn't have witnessed that, how lady friends of yours wouldn't have mentioned it in passing to you is baffling to me.

    Every woman that I've known, friends and girlfriends alike, have had to deal with flirting, innuendos, unwelcome touching of the hair or clothes, sex jokes, prying, and questions about their intimacy and relationship status (quickly followed in some cases with the dismissal of said relationship) in the workplace, in the streets...
    How often does that happen to you ? In the last ten years ?
    Aaand this is complete bullshit. You're basically saying that women are allowed to be assholes because they are women. Is this the equality we are all fighting for? I understand that women usually hear more compliments and they have more attention than man, but come on, do you really think it's okay to think of people who compliment you as "fuckboys" and dumbasses? That's all I'm saying. Maybe the guy wants to sleep with you, so fucking what? As long as he's not an asshole about it, why would you act as some kind of untouchable being who is offended that somebody is trying to say that you're pretty? And I'm saying this as someone who never done this in my entire life, since I find it awkward and weird and maybe even stupid. But I find it equally stupid to act as though you're such a superstar you can see people who're trying to compliment you as idiots. I mean don't you see that? I sometimes feel that people are against me just because.. no real argument or anything, I'm just saying my opinion so you gotta think of something that would be against what I'm saying.

    And since this is not really a feminist issue I felt like I could say something.
    Last edited by telee.kom; 08-15-2015 at 04:24 PM.

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