The Childfree and/or Unmarried Thread

[Alexandros]

No one answered me so I'm reposting my question (sorry about that, I won't re-repost it however, I promise), because I'd really like to know what you guys think about a situation like this:

What would any of you do in case their partner did find marriage essential? The relationship is great and all, yet the other person needs to have that ceremony. What then? That's a legitimate question by the way, I'm not berating you.

[Halo Infinity]

No one answered me so I'm reposting my question (sorry about that, I won't re-repost it however, I promise), because I'd really like to know what you guys think about a situation like this:

I think botley answered you, and I suppose I'll try to answer your question as well. Oh, and that's no problem at all. If I was curious, asked a question, and didn't receive any responses, I'd try to bring it up more than once too.

Define "essential". Marriage is supposed to be a union of two people, after all... if they find having another person united to them is essential to what defines who they are, then I'm not going to be terribly interested in them. This is a discussion you should have relatively early in a long-term relationship (within the first year or so) and if they aren't going to budge on their opinion then it's a pretty clear sign there'll be trouble down the road.

As for me, I would try not to bring it up. This also has a lot more to do with the fact that I'm very uncertain about marriage altogether. Even if I had the means to provide for a relationship financially, I wouldn't be prepared for marriage mentally or emotionally even though I have a tendency to be romantic. (Then again, marriage obviously isn't all fun, games and romance.) If people want to get married, I'm okay with that, but not if they wanted to prod other people into marriage.

So in several ways, I'm definitely with botley on this one. The same can also be said about a childfree person dating somebody that wants to eventually become a mother or a father.

[Alexandros]

^^I completely missed botley's answer, don't know how I managed to do that! Sorry, botley.

How about the situation which I'm describing in my other post (#33, I am not requoting!), where it may be a bit more complicated than one person's opinion?

[Tea]

No one answered me so I'm reposting my question (sorry about that, I won't re-repost it however, I promise), because I'd really like to know what you guys think about a situation like this:

I think there's always the chance of compromise, and by that I don't mean totally giving in. If it's the cold and hard legal part that you find gross about marriage, you could do a purely symbolic wedding, involving your loved ones and possibly your religion. That way you both are mentally, ceremonially tied for life- it's really not the state's business anyway, so their thoughts on your relationship shouldn't matter, and why should your partner care about it?

My husband didn't find it essential, but I could tell how much he wanted to go through with it (he even flew out to speak with my parents, since he knew of their disapproval when we started dating), so I wasn't going to tell him no when I wasn't completely negative about marriage, mostly passive.

[theruiner]

Well, I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posses inside! Give them a sense of pride!

[allegro]

Well, I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posses inside! Give them a sense of pride!

I decided, long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow.