Quote Originally Posted by onthewall2983 View Post
I don't want to bring it up on the Trans thread because it seems to cover much more important issues than my piddling query, but I am very very curious to know something and I thought some of you might help me out. Is there a "nice" way of putting it that you aren't physically attracted to trans or otherwise fluid gender? I wrote something on my FetLife that I'm not quite sure reads as anything else than being a little too blunt about it. Or does it not matter at all?
how do you know you're not attracted to trans people? is it a genital-related thing? is it purely about general physical appearance? or do you have an issue with people being trans?

for example, i'm trans, but i haven't done anything about transitioning. so despite the fact that i look 100% like a dude with a beard, i am a woman. there are plenty of trans women who have done things about transitioning and you'd never know they're trans unless they tell you. likewise with trans men.

i feel like you're eliminating a vast group of people from your sights for reasons that you don't necessarily understand, and it comes across as being a bit...bigoted. not saying you're an asshole who hates trans people, but if you flat-out state that you have no interest in pursuing anything with anyone who falls under that umbrella, it's hard not to get that read from it.

gender-fluidity is a whole other issue. my friend norine, who is getting married to her partner marc this friday, is gender-fluid. she refers to herself as a lady-dude. but she looks 100% woman. she's got a figure made for burlesque (which she used to do) including boobs that are ridiculously big and she loves to show off, and dresses "feminine" about 95% of the time. you'd never know she isn't just a woman unless you get to know her, and even then, it's really just about how she identifies herself and wants to be treated (with respect, which is all any trans and gender-fluid people want).

so i think you need to re-examine your position and figure out what makes you feel that way.

also, thanks to @Sarah K for sharing your experience and offering some sound advice.