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Thread: Fuck me. (No, seriously.)

  1. #181
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    Observations: I hate the title of this thread, seriously.

    HEY REMEMBER THIS THREAD EXISTS, THOUGH? So we don't have to whine in the actual Fucking thread about how we're not fucking.

    I'm going to be at a party with two gorgeous people who, as of about the past week, my boyfriend and I can't bang anymore. And they're REALLY ATTRACTIVE, and I haven't seen either of them in ages, so getting with them was already hella overdue, and it's off the table now. And it's going to be super lame.

    Also my boyfriend is more like... emotionally affected by us breaking stuff off with them than me and is also having a shit day and he doesn't want to hear me attempt solidarity at not being able to bang the absurdly attractive people, so I'm venting here.

  2. #182
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    Why is it off the table now?

  3. #183
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    My friend in Omaha was going to pick me up from the airport and we were gonna bang. But I was kinda sick before I left, so I postponed with him and had my brother pick me up. Then, the day that I was back in Omaha on my trip, he was busy.

    My poor vagina.

  4. #184
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charmingly Miserable View Post
    Why is it off the table now?
    See my further complaining in r&r. THEY'RE ALSO REALLY FUN IN BED. And the chick is the most stacked. Just the most. And a redhead and I could go on sighhhhhh
    Last edited by playwithfire; 12-29-2014 at 05:27 PM.

  5. #185
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    Long Distance shit. Skype sessions at least three times a week for almost 8 months are starting to get a bit boring and mixing it up is nearly impossible. No visits in sight. Kill me.

  6. #186
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    So, I was totally right. We all still hung out a lot, because we get along really well, but I really like them. Sigh.

    And of course they were perfectly behaved and wonderful about everything.
    Last edited by playwithfire; 01-02-2015 at 09:03 AM.

  7. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by GlitchyFlame View Post
    Long Distance shit. Skype sessions at least three times a week for almost 8 months are starting to get a bit boring and mixing it up is nearly impossible. No visits in sight. Kill me.
    Similar boat. One visit in sight, but after that, no idea.

  8. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by GlitchyFlame View Post
    Long Distance shit. Skype sessions at least three times a week for almost 8 months are starting to get a bit boring and mixing it up is nearly impossible. No visits in sight. Kill me.
    13 months and counting............

  9. #189
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    I'm horny.

    Seriously.

  10. #190
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    In serious need of a good fucking
    Last edited by aggroculture; 02-13-2015 at 12:38 AM.

  11. #191
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    I haven't been touched by someone other than me in so long...

    At this point I don't care if it's flat, I just want to touch some butt.

  12. #192
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    ups wait wat

  13. #193
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    Tomorrow is 38 weeks.

  14. #194
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    I would just like to want to have sex. I presumably could without much trouble but I'm not feeling it, at all. I think part of it is I don't want to just have a fling but would rather have a good solid go round. The fact that I could feasibly make it happen makes it a bit worse. Sure it's spring time so occasionally my dick turns into a devining rod, but 95% of the time I feel pretty meh...

  15. #195
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    I thought this was going to be a hook up thread. Am disappoint.
    I only get to fuck on the weekends (gf lives a little over an hour away) but it's some damn good sex. She's going to a lame show this weekend and I had to work overtime. No booty for me unless I find a stand in. ;p

  16. #196
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    I have never been able to just fuck anyone. I have been divorced for almost three years from a man that I gave my virginity to...we had been together since I was 14 years old. I don't even know where to begin with getting back into the dating scene. The closest I have come to sex was over the phone but then I met him and couldn't bring myself to any sort of interest. I have had plenty of opportunities but I really do not have the interest at all.... I suppose that I still love my ex-husband and feel wrong about anyone else in that way. I would have to fall in love with someone else and be able to trust them fully before I could go that route again. I just have a real hard time trusting enough to get that close to another. My ex-husband tried to kill me in front of our children. He was on a lot of meds from the VA at the time. He killed some part of me that I have not been able to fully revive since...I have long forgiven him for all of it. He has remarried to a very lovely woman. I am grateful for her presence in our children's lives.
    Last edited by Melancholygrl78; 03-30-2015 at 04:32 AM.

  17. #197
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    I am happy without knowing what I may be missing...whatever.
    Last edited by Melancholygrl78; 03-30-2015 at 04:45 AM.

  18. #198
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    I haven't had penetrative sex (not a fan of digital penetration for the most part) since like... May or some shit. My sex life isn't a TOTAL wasteland but it's been dry-ish and I need to meet a lady who's great with a strap-on or something. None of the cis men I'm fond of who I think would be down are in the state except for one person where I think we may be settling back into a platonic friendship, I dunno.

  19. #199
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    ALSO I always wanna post about how sex workers should be considered valid options. Sex workers are great!

  20. #200
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    I haven't had penetrative sex (not a fan of digital penetration for the most part) since like... May or some shit. My sex life isn't a TOTAL wasteland but it's been dry-ish and I need to meet a lady who's great with a strap-on or something. None of the cis men I'm fond of who I think would be down are in the state except for one person where I think we may be settling back into a platonic friendship, I dunno.
    strap me in.

  21. #201
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    You're not my target audience, bud. Good pun tho.

  22. #202
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    Haven't had "the sex" since, let's see we're in August so...since 2011. At this point i'm just happy if i can talk to a premier phone service lady, doesn't matter about what.

  23. #203
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    haven't had the d since november. but goddamn, my ex sucked at intimacy. i'm a sexual person, adventurous, up for experimenting, all that. i was so in love with this man that i looked past his ridic boundaries:

    1. shower first, no exceptions (him, not me -- if you're thinking of the plane scene in bridesmaids, you get it).
    2. the dog must be in the right mood and preoccupied in another room (guys, i wish this was a joke).
    3. shirt off (his, not mine -- i'm a big guy: 6'3," 230 lbs -- no shame) only with the lights dimmed.
    4. he claimed he was vers, but no.
    5. the whole just lay there thing? oy ...

    we were compatible as oil and water.

    thank god that ship sailed.
    Last edited by kel; 08-23-2017 at 11:01 PM.

  24. #204
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    I mean, I'm not comfortable with someone going down on me unless I clean off down there first, and I'm not good with pets hanging out unless they're REALLY distracted (have you ever had a cat get weird and want to like lie in the bed where y'all were fucking after you fuck someone because it's FUCKING WEIRD, animals are sexual beings but noooope). So I can't hate on that too much. But, it sounds like y'all were really incompatible and I'm sorry that you fell so hard for someone who couldn't give you what you needed.

  25. #205
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    but it killed any spontaneity, which to me is key with sex. we basically scheduled it out.

    as far as the pet thing, put him/her in the living room and shut the door. he couldn't do that.
    Last edited by kel; 08-28-2017 at 04:40 PM.

  26. #206
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    Oh that's weird. I pull a "be back in 5" if anything. Showers don't take long if you're about business. And did... did he have to like... make sure the dog was okay with going in the living room? What?

  27. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    Oh that's weird. I pull a "be back in 5" if anything. Showers don't take long if you're about business. And did... did he have to like... make sure the dog was okay with going in the living room? What?
    yes.

    i'm a dog lover and father to two, but the relationship he had with his frenchie was weird at times. if the dog whined at all from the other side of the door, it was over.

  28. #208
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    I just wanna get married already. I am so fucking tired of being single. People always say God has a plan for me. Yeah right.

  29. #209
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    So frustrated lately, it's been over 3 years since my last fuck. I need it. It'd probably ease my current moods as well.

  30. #210
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boots View Post
    I just wanna get married already. I am so fucking tired of being single. People always say God has a plan for me. Yeah right.
    may i ask you how old you are? or approximate age group?

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