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Thread: Fuck me. (No, seriously.)

  1. #151
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    Maaan. So I'll hit up my boyfriend for phone sex now and then, and it's not unusual for him to not be in the mood or busy or something.

    So I called him last night to talk and I made one of my (usual and frequent) comments where I was basically like "Hey, you should take off all of your clothes." Y'know, I just say shit like that. And he asked if I was asking for phone sex and was down for it.

    So, since that never happens, I was.

    Except I wasn't in the mood, really, so it didn't work. And we ended up not really going anywhere with it.

    UGGGHHHHHHHH.

  2. #152
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    Watched Masters of Sex and got horny as fuck, damn it! Not easy when your fuck buddy lives in another country

  3. #153
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    I just want to be touched by someone who's not me >.<

  4. #154
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    So, I spent a solid :45 minutes on Victorias Secret website looking for a gift for lady friend. I kept trying to think "what would she like?" Then I felt guilty; I felt like I was objectifying her? So, I asked her straight up, would you like if I bought you underwear for Christmas? The answer was a resounding "YES!" Then it dawned on me - we're both adults and in a serious relationship and it's ok to fantasize about your significant other in frilly underwear; they actually dig that shit!

    Needless to say, I got all sorts of turned on thinking about her opening her present, modeling it for me, then taking it off...

  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by the duder View Post
    Needless to say, I got all sorts of turned on thinking about her opening her present, modeling it for me, then taking it off...
    Wouldn't an empty box save about 10 minutes and a pretty good chunk of money?

  6. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by the duder View Post
    So, I spent a solid :45 minutes on Victorias Secret website looking for a gift for lady friend. I kept trying to think "what would she like?" Then I felt guilty; I felt like I was objectifying her? So, I asked her straight up, would you like if I bought you underwear for Christmas? The answer was a resounding "YES!" Then it dawned on me - we're both adults and in a serious relationship and it's ok to fantasize about your significant other in frilly underwear; they actually dig that shit!

    Needless to say, I got all sorts of turned on thinking about her opening her present, modeling it for me, then taking it off...

    Yeah, but go for a proper lingerie brand rather than that teen cheerleader shit VS sells.

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    Yeah, but go for a proper lingerie brand rather than that teen cheerleader shit VS sells.
    Baby steps...
    (Also...suggestions?)

  8. #158
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    Hmm, American lingerie shops are really disgusting tbh, it's all really tacky and/or wanting people to look like teenagers.

    Try:
    - Secrets in Lace
    - What Katie Did
    - The stuff they sell in department stores (Elle MacPherson, Fantasie etc)
    - Kiss Me Deadly

    If you want to import, take a look at Marks and Spencer, Playful Promises, Ann Summers.

  9. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by the duder View Post
    Baby steps...
    (Also...suggestions?)
    Baby Steps sounds like an horrific brand. ;p

  10. #160
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    ^ Can you just go back to killing people's families?

  11. #161
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    Idk if it's the hormones in my IUD or if I'm on the rag but damn, I've been so horny lately with no luck. Ugh. Spare me.

  12. #162
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    Yeah I don't want a relationship, I just want to feel cheap and violated. Cheap and meaningless sex gets such a bad rap.

  13. #163
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    I'm just thankful that it's generally accepted here. I totally understand that feeling, even if I'd like to actually have an attempt at a monogamous relationship, if given the opportunity. However, a nice fling here and there sounds like it could be sort of meaningful and extremely fun with a really good and close friend, but of course there's still the risk and debate of one person falling in love and the other person not falling in love. But yes, I totally understand that feeling. It's like The Only Time in real life.

  14. #164
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    I don't know why it didn't occur to me any sooner, but if the option for topic subtitles was available, "Need to contaminate, to alleviate this loneliness!", would seem to say it all.

  15. #165
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    Nooooo too much room for std jokes noooooo.

  16. #166
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    Need to take proper precautions prior to alleviating this loneliness.

  17. #167
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    Nooooo too much room for std jokes noooooo.
    It's a good thing that I was mostly kidding then. If I were to have made this thread, I wouldn't have actually done that anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    Need to take proper precautions prior to alleviating this loneliness.
    Exactly, and agreed 100%.

  18. #168
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    I'm quite happy with my title still. I just wish I didn't still belong in this thread after over a year.

    *sigh*

    Fuck me.

  19. #169
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    I still like mine back on the old board: “The Virginity and Not Getting Any Thread" but, I'm biased.

  20. #170
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    Whatever way you spell it, I'm over a year without. :/

  21. #171
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    And for another go at an awkward attempt at humor again since joking around isn't exactly my forte... this topic... plus being single in like forever is probably tantamount to what @Jinsai and @Kid Charlemagne might feel if they were subjected/stuck at a Super Shitty Music Festival/Convention, or a really bad dream about one.

    (I'm also trying to make light of this, since this sometimes drives me fucking crazy. I know this pain all too well. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck me!)
    Last edited by Halo Infinity; 12-27-2013 at 02:01 AM.

  22. #172
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    I once got a free ticket to go to a KROQ festival called "Acoustic Christmas." The lineup turned out to be Coldplay, Linkin Park, Nickelback, Staind, and No Doubt. It sucked.

    On thread topic, I guess lately I'm not into the idea of having a serious relationship. Lately I value my personal space more. It's odd... I think most people as they get older get more serious about having a lasting relationship. All my friends are getting married and having kids. More and more I just want to be left alone, and I'm perfectly ok with that.
    Last edited by Jinsai; 12-27-2013 at 06:21 PM.

  23. #173
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    That sounds just about right to me. At least it's better than nothing, and I'm definitely feeling your stance on that.

  24. #174
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    Seen elsewhere:

    "My name might as well be New Years Resolution, because nobody's going to do me."

  25. #175
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    But they keep hoping that one day they might be able to.

  26. #176
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    A sticker showed up on my truck like 10 years ago that said, "every second of everyday, someone other than me is getting laid." No one I knew fessed up but at the time it was fitting.

  27. #177
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    Hmm, tonight may well prove interesting...

    UPDATE! It wasn't.
    Last edited by Fixer808; 01-19-2014 at 06:43 PM.

  28. #178
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    441 days.

    Not that I'm counting or anything.

  29. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    On thread topic, I guess lately I'm not into the idea of having a serious relationship. Lately I value my personal space more. It's odd... I think most people as they get older get more serious about having a lasting relationship. All my friends are getting married and having kids. More and more I just want to be left alone, and I'm perfectly ok with that.
    I used to be of that mindset (as of a year ago even) - didn't ever see the point in getting married or wanting to, or wanting kids.

    A year later I've found the right person and we're expecting a baby in August, with engagement to come shortly. It's amazing what can happen when you meet the one.

    edit: she was of that same mindset as me, too.
    Last edited by Ryan; 01-19-2014 at 04:50 PM.

  30. #180
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    I stopped counting. I don't have a clue when it will happen again. I'm not that desperate.

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