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Thread: Fuck me. (No, seriously.)

  1. #31
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    2 months. doh

  2. #32
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    I'm not getting any and honestly, I just don't care. I've had time this year to measure the risk/reward factors of my relationships with women, and just realizing how much I was doing the first part and not getting enough of the second. I'm just planning on using 2012 to get a job and get in better shape. My hope is that seeing those things through will lead me to have enough confidence to get back in the game.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by think i'm a fire engine View Post
    Just had my third anniversary with my girlfriend, and I don't think I've gotten laid since before our second anniversary. Pretty sure I'm breaking up with her after the holidays.
    I've always found that cheating on a girl makes her want to screw you more. Might be worth a shot.

  4. #34
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    The boyfriend is out of town, so it's another night of streaming porn on my phone (because one of the roommates are home and my computer is too out in the open). Ugh.

  5. #35
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    I need sex. Soon. That is all.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by onthewall2983 View Post
    I'm not getting any and honestly, I just don't care. I've had time this year to measure the risk/reward factors of my relationships with women, and just realizing how much I was doing the first part and not getting enough of the second. I'm just planning on using 2012 to get a job and get in better shape. My hope is that seeing those things through will lead me to have enough confidence to get back in the game.
    YES! THIS! ALL OF THIS!
    I just want to try this out. I'm 30 now, and I feel lost and stuck at the same time. I need to move forward, and try not to distract myself with wanting sex when I know now I really want something more real.

  7. #37
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    I'm a fatty and I don't have anywhere near the issues some of you have. If all you're looking for is ass, I have no suggestions for you. However, if you're looking to start a relationship (and make some meaningful love juice):

    Be yourself
    Be confident
    Have a sense of humor

    Find a place where quality people hang out and bring a buddy. If this tub of shit can find love/ass you fuckers can too.

  8. #38
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    Ex-girlfriend is begging me for sex. I haven't had any in months. Do I do it? I don't want to lead her on, and I've told her we're not getting back together, and we don't work as a couple (she has told me she's in love with me, but she's "totally happy" if we're just friends), but I also really want to have sex. And she's real, real good. She is obsessed with sex, in a big way, and she assures me that she understands that we're not dating, and that we won't be. But something still feels wrong about it. Jesus, I just realized how fucked up this is! Probably deserves to go into the Relationships thread, not here...

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Ex-girlfriend is begging me for sex. I haven't had any in months. Do I do it? I don't want to lead her on, and I've told her we're not getting back together, and we don't work as a couple (she has told me she's in love with me, but she's "totally happy" if we're just friends), but I also really want to have sex. And she's real, real good. She is obsessed with sex, in a big way, and she assures me that she understands that we're not dating, and that we won't be. But something still feels wrong about it. Jesus, I just realized how fucked up this is! Probably deserves to go into the Relationships thread, not here...
    This is never a good idea. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Ex-girlfriend is begging me for sex. I haven't had any in months. Do I do it? I don't want to lead her on, and I've told her we're not getting back together, and we don't work as a couple (she has told me she's in love with me, but she's "totally happy" if we're just friends), but I also really want to have sex. And she's real, real good. She is obsessed with sex, in a big way, and she assures me that she understands that we're not dating, and that we won't be. But something still feels wrong about it. Jesus, I just realized how fucked up this is! Probably deserves to go into the Relationships thread, not here...
    Do it.

    Ever heard of fuck buddies?

  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by MAD View Post
    Do it.

    Ever heard of fuck buddies?
    Yeah. But doesn't the fuck buddy thing break down when one person is IN LOVE with the other, and the feelings aren't recriprocated?

  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Yeah. But doesn't the fuck buddy thing break down when one person is IN LOVE with the other, and the feelings aren't recriprocated?
    Yes. but she knows and has agreed to the ground rules. It's her fault if she expects more. Go for the hot sex!

    In my case, I haven't gotten any in 3 months and added to that, I have stopped masturbating. It's been about a week now. My thingies are about to burst.

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by RJK View Post
    This is never a good idea. But you gotta do what you gotta do.
    Agreed. This is only going to end in a mess (no pun intended). I'd say don't do it.

  14. #44
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    UGH. FEELING. SO . FRUSTRATED.

    I'm horny as hell but the only person who i really want to be fucking is so not around...WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF.

  15. #45
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    5 months, nearly. A rejection from someone else, though apparently I'm "cool to hang out with and all" and I'm in a peak life point as far as hormones go. But I am picky. Picky picky picky. I almost wish I could just get all hot n bothered by just anyone. I wonder how many months it takes to get to that point? This is the longest I've gone in 15 years. Uuuuugh.

  16. #46
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    Coming off an 8 year relationship where sex was the one thing we never quite clicked on. We had our good times to be sure but we could never seem to get no the same page about sex and intimacy in general. I've never been one to chase tail, though i probably should have more when i was younger. At 33 I'm really not into the idea, though at the same time I don't really care about getting rejected so maybe that will help ease the transition. Needless to say i don't see me getting my fuck on anytime soon. In fact i feel pretty meh about anything sexual for the most part.

  17. #47
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    I've been rediscovering the joys of masturbating.

  18. #48
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    O hai pathos!

    Quote Originally Posted by halloween View Post
    I've been rediscovering the joys of masturbating.
    THERE CAN BE NO JOY ONLY SADNESS. Have you ever climaxed from someone giving oral while they were crying? Or used a man's tears as lubricant? If so, I may have a proposition for you!

    No, that's a lie, I'm confident in my sexual abilities and there's little chance I'll make a scene afterwards. I just don't want celibacy year to last any longer.

    I did just have a dude hit on me, so that was kinda flattering.

  19. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by botley View Post
    THERE CAN BE NO JOY ONLY SADNESS. Have you ever climaxed from someone giving oral while they were crying? Or used a man's tears as lubricant? If so, I may have a proposition for you!
    That sounds quite erotic and I would love to watch a late night softcore 70s French film with a scene like that in it.

  20. #50
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    I just had kidney stone surgery earlier in the week. To quote a popular sitcom, I feel like Superman without his powers. I have the cape, yet I cannot fly.

  21. #51
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    I already have a libido that's about as active as an ancient sloth, but since I've started to take meds I haven't even had the urge to masturbate. Fuck this. I used it as a perfectly fine way to get myself to relax / sleep when I was stressed out, so now I have to find something else.

  22. #52
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    Wrong thread.
    Last edited by profane; 04-15-2013 at 07:47 AM.

  23. #53
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    22-year-old virgin. Not a single relationship. Had a lot of shitty experiences with girls. I've been rejected many times, and have rejected some girls for various reasons. I'm not looking forward to getting laid. Not anymore, that is. I do have some hope, but I'm not doing much about it. I've gotten over my "emo" phase and now I just care about making my life better. Sex is a secondary objective. I feel somewhat more optimistic than before, but it still feels like a big risk. And I don't want one-night-stands. I care for emotions and intimacy and all that shit. So, it's gonna take a while.

  24. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by wizfan View Post
    22-year-old virgin. Not a single relationship. Had a lot of shitty experiences with girls. I've been rejected many times, and have rejected some girls for various reasons. I'm not looking forward to getting laid. Not anymore, that is. I do have some hope, but I'm not doing much about it. I've gotten over my "emo" phase and now I just care about making my life better. Sex is a secondary objective. I feel somewhat more optimistic than before, but it still feels like a big risk. And I don't want one-night-stands. I care for emotions and intimacy and all that shit. So, it's gonna take a while.

    Correct, it is going to take a while with that attitude. You are actually on your way down a tragic, dark path my friend. 22 year old virgins become 27 year old virgins very quickly, and before you know it you are Steve Carrell at 40. Laugh, but that is how that shit happens. Feel free to use the cliched pussy on a pedestool analogy here. After a certain point, one you are essentially passed now, you are going to have a very hard time passing through any of the self defense walls of women as a virgin. You don't have your card punched, thou shalt not pass. It's not something they even consciously do most of the time but it's written all over your face and body language and their fem radars pick up on that before they even think twice and you are marginalized as a result . So if you want emotions and intimacy and all that good stuff, that's cool. Very respectable. Women will love it, eventually. But you need to do something before any of that can happen. And that is get laid. At least once. Probably a couple times.

    It will actually be near impossible to obtain the comfort and relaxation required to get on a level where you can find the emotionally connected relationship you want until you let go of whatever you are holding on to. You missed out on a phase of your life in high school. Shitty. But it happens. Nothing to be ashamed of. So you just need to go back before you can move forward. And that should be easy, because you should be much more mature and evolved as opposed to if you would've done it at 16, 17, 18, whatever. You will realize that it ain't no fucking thing - it's just sex. And you will gain the confidence to put some past failures behind you. The confidence to act like you don't have this 10,000 pound weight dangling over your head of fear, anxiety, and confusion over something you currently can't fully grasp due to your stunted developmental process.

    Break through the wall, and liberty shall be yours. Find one of those girls you turned down in the past while you were waiting for the right one. Find one at the bar after a few drinks. Fuck, and this is a grey area, potentially leading down another dark path of it's own, but if the situation is dire I might look at a getting a prostitute. Seriously. It will help sever the connection in your head that sex can't be fun (you're not even looking forward to it anymore! What the fuck man who the hell is going to want to sleep with that?) and also make you more comfortable with being naked around women at the same time.

    When all is said and done, you are going to feel sheepish for turning girls down you shouldn't have, and making it seem like this larger than life problem for. You will feel so free when you put that shit behind you. And everything else you are looking for will find it's way to you afterwards.

  25. #55
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    A year this month, not that the last time I did it was any good. Getting fed up of buying sex toys...

  26. #56
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    Two months now, I need some action. NOW!

  27. #57
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    7 months - I do believe this might be the longest I've ever gone without sex. Not a fan.

  28. #58
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    I think any hope I've ever had of having sex with anyone has long flown out the window. If it happens, it happens.

  29. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frozen Beach View Post
    I think any hope I've ever had of having sex with anyone has long flown out the window. If it happens, it happens.
    How young are you?

  30. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by halloween View Post
    How young are you?
    20, but I hang out with the older crowd, and being around people who are in relationships isn't always fun.

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