The Relationship Thread

[Space Suicide]

So,

I have been talking to a single mother out of nowhere. I am crushing SO hard. I really want things to happen. Taking it one day at a time.

Her son also seems cool!

[Bachy]

I've heard the term plenty of times that you don't shit where you eat. However there is this coworker that I feel I have great chemistry with. The two of us are both recently single. Would asking her out be a complete mistake?

[Sarah K]

Yes, absolutely.

But you have a history of asking for advice and then doing the complete opposite of what everyone tells you.

So, SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL IDEA GO FOR IT LITTLE BUDDY

[Bachy]

Yes, absolutely.

But you have a history of asking for advice and then doing the complete opposite of what everyone tells you.

So, SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL IDEA GO FOR IT LITTLE BUDDY

This time, I'm actually not gonna do it. Not worth the risk, especially when I'm in line for a promotion to supervisor. Also, I feel like if got involved with someone at work, aside from the obvious problems, I would always get the slight feeling that I'm never out of the office which would slowly drive me mad. Plus if I get rejected, it will never not be awkward, so yeah, I'm not making that move until one of us finds a diffferent job.

[playwithfire]

Generally a really bad idea. If it makes sense for it to happen, it'll become a thing without you having to question or push for it. Like, it'll be really really obvious. Generally best to avoid.

[Space Suicide]

The single mother I mentioned earlier ghosted me for literally no reason whatsoever and the other girl I was talking to recently at least came out and told me tonight she doesn't have time to get to know me more or build a friendship/relationship due to her remaining semesters this year for her masters degree. 2 recent strike outs. I'm done with this frustration inducing stuff. I'll try again next year, if I even care to bother.

I dont even need a girl, I want one. Would be nice to interact and be with someone consistently due to my last relationship being LDR and making me be robbed of things everyone else in love deserves. Ce la Vie.

[Bachy]

I recently reconnected with an ex. I have no idea what to expect. When we split, I figured we'd never talk again. But now about a year and a half after little to no contact, we found ourselves talking like we used to when we started dating. I know part of me wants to give it a second shot. Another part of me is telling me to not get my hopes up because of what happened before. We live hours apart, and I know that can spell trouble for any relationship. All I can do now is take it day by day and see what happens.

[ManBurning]

Would be nice to interact and be with someone consistently due to my last relationship being LDR and making me be robbed of things everyone else in love deserves. Ce la Vie.

That's basically the story of my life right now, being in my first LDR ever. I miss the physical contact, but on the other hand, I've never experienced this level of communication in my life before. I think the LD part of this has helped both of us communicate better. My girlfriend and I keep in contact every day throughout the day. Basically texting nonstop when we have the chance. Maybe have a couple 2-3 hour phone calls a week as well.

I find that I'm actually taking the time to GET TO KNOW someone for once. When you're with someone in person, sometimes communication takes a back seat as you just enjoy the other person's company. But when you're doing this whole long distance thing, the only thing you have is the communication. I think this is exactly what I needed at this point in my life. I got out of a 6 year relationship earlier this year, and this long distance relationship has been my saving grace. I've actually fallen for this girl really hard. I've actually taken the time to get to know her between visits (we've seen each other 3 times now since we first met), and I think the distance is actually making this relationship stronger.

It's my first time ever experiencing a LD relationship, and I always said I would never do one. But, it's been a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.

Plus, she's agreed to move here next summer! So I'm super excited about that! We plan to have at least 2 more visits before she moves here permanently. I'll be going out there in January and then she'll return the favor in April, then I'll be heading back out there at the end of June to help her move out here for July.

We both seem very determined in wanting this. So that's awesome.

And it's so funny how it all came down as well. Earlier this year (February) I bought tickets to the Rammstein show at the Quebec City summer festival for my ex and I. Shortly after, we decided to end our 6 year relationship. So then I was stuck with this extra ticket. Well, I ended up selling it online and decided to just still go fly out to the show myself. I planned this huge travel itinerary around the show, decided to spend a few nights in Montreal before and after (once again, this was all pre-booked this way).
Then I signed up for this paid dating site at the beginning of June (first time I ever paid for a dating site as well) but the alternatives out there were not yielding ANY results *cough* - Plenty of fish *cough* (what a cesspool of trash this website was). So I figured, why not... try paying...

Long story short, it was a HUGE waste of time on this site as well. Most of the users were inactive profiles. I immediately cancelled my subscription after a few days. But I paid for 30 days, and had like 20-something days left still on this site. (also only paid members could send messages). So, as I was closing down the site, planning on NEVER EVER logging back on ever again, I saw in the "New users" section on the side a girl from Quebec... I decided to look at her profile, seemed pretty cool to me. We had alot of mutual interests. I figured, what the heck... I'll shoot her a message and see if she's going to the Rammstein show as well this summer.

Turns out she wasn't because she had already bought tickets to Heavy Montreal and couldn't afford or get the time off for both events. But, we started talking anyway. When she found out I was coming to town (Montreal) to visit, she offered to get together and show me around when I was there. I said sure, what do I have to lose? Free tour guide for my vacation. :P

So, we exchanged numbers, kept in contact, and met up one night when I was there. We hit it off, so she wanted to see me again the next night. So we did. Then I took the train to Quebec City for the Rammstein show, and had plans to return to Montreal one final night before flying home (like I said earlier, this was all PRE-PLANNED before I even started talking to her online. It worked out to be cheaper and more convenient to fly return to Montreal, get a hotel and take a flight home rather than flying back from Quebec City). So, naturally, we got together a 3rd time again. This is when I was starting to really like her.

My whole way home I battled with my emotions back and forth on whether I wanted to get involved with a LDR. I told myself I would never do one, and people always told me they were really tough. So I was afraid of what I was going to get myself into... Well, I'm glad I took the plunge into the deep end. This relationship turned an incredibly shitty year around to one of the best years of my life. First half of 2016 was shit, and then I came bouncing back.

It's so funny thinking how everything kinda just fell into place from day 1 of buying those Rammstein tickets all the way to my ex and I breaking up to me singing up to that dating site that at the time I thought was a HUGE WASTE OF MONEY. Honestly, looking back at all the events leading up to it and just such a funny coincidence.

[Space Suicide]

That's basically the story of my life right now, being in my first LDR ever. I miss the physical contact, but on the other hand, I've never experienced this level of communication in my life before. I think the LD part of this has helped both of us communicate better. My girlfriend and I keep in contact every day throughout the day. Basically texting nonstop when we have the chance. Maybe have a couple 2-3 hour phone calls a week as well.

I find that I'm actually taking the time to GET TO KNOW someone for once. When you're with someone in person, sometimes communication takes a back seat as you just enjoy the other person's company. But when you're doing this whole long distance thing, the only thing you have is the communication. I think this is exactly what I needed at this point in my life. I got out of a 6 year relationship earlier this year, and this long distance relationship has been my saving grace. I've actually fallen for this girl really hard. I've actually taken the time to get to know her between visits (we've seen each other 3 times now since we first met), and I think the distance is actually making this relationship stronger.

It's my first time ever experiencing a LD relationship, and I always said I would never do one. But, it's been a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.

Plus, she's agreed to move here next summer! So I'm super excited about that! We plan to have at least 2 more visits before she moves here permanently. I'll be going out there in January and then she'll return the favor in April, then I'll be heading back out there at the end of June to help her move out here for July.

We both seem very determined in wanting this. So that's awesome.

And it's so funny how it all came down as well. Earlier this year (February) I bought tickets to the Rammstein show at the Quebec City summer festival for my ex and I. Shortly after, we decided to end our 6 year relationship. So then I was stuck with this extra ticket. Well, I ended up selling it online and decided to just still go fly out to the show myself. I planned this huge travel itinerary around the show, decided to spend a few nights in Montreal before and after (once again, this was all pre-booked this way).
Then I signed up for this paid dating site at the beginning of June (first time I ever paid for a dating site as well) but the alternatives out there were not yielding ANY results *cough* - Plenty of fish *cough* (what a cesspool of trash this website was). So I figured, why not... try paying...

Long story short, it was a HUGE waste of time on this site as well. Most of the users were inactive profiles. I immediately cancelled my subscription after a few days. But I paid for 30 days, and had like 20-something days left still on this site. (also only paid members could send messages). So, as I was closing down the site, planning on NEVER EVER logging back on ever again, I saw in the "New users" section on the side a girl from Quebec... I decided to look at her profile, seemed pretty cool to me. We had alot of mutual interests. I figured, what the heck... I'll shoot her a message and see if she's going to the Rammstein show as well this summer.

Turns out she wasn't because she had already bought tickets to Heavy Montreal and couldn't afford or get the time off for both events. But, we started talking anyway. When she found out I was coming to town (Montreal) to visit, she offered to get together and show me around when I was there. I said sure, what do I have to lose? Free tour guide for my vacation. :P

So, we exchanged numbers, kept in contact, and met up one night when I was there. We hit it off, so she wanted to see me again the next night. So we did. Then I took the train to Quebec City for the Rammstein show, and had plans to return to Montreal one final night before flying home (like I said earlier, this was all PRE-PLANNED before I even started talking to her online. It worked out to be cheaper and more convenient to fly return to Montreal, get a hotel and take a flight home rather than flying back from Quebec City). So, naturally, we got together a 3rd time again. This is when I was starting to really like her.

My whole way home I battled with my emotions back and forth on whether I wanted to get involved with a LDR. I told myself I would never do one, and people always told me they were really tough. So I was afraid of what I was going to get myself into... Well, I'm glad I took the plunge into the deep end. This relationship turned an incredibly shitty year around to one of the best years of my life. First half of 2016 was shit, and then I came bouncing back.

It's so funny thinking how everything kinda just fell into place from day 1 of buying those Rammstein tickets all the way to my ex and I breaking up to me singing up to that dating site that at the time I thought was a HUGE WASTE OF MONEY. Honestly, looking back at all the events leading up to it and just such a funny coincidence.

I was in that LDR for 4 years: June 2012 to June 2016. We didn't officially term ourselves exclusive till February 2013. It was single handedly the most rewarding and painful experience in my 26 years of life. When we were on the same page we were on fire but when either one of us was shaken by the distance it was a dull match in desperation. We skyped, texted, etc. It taught me great patience and communication skills. The lack of physical contact is SEVERELY hurtful. Which made it even shittier as both of us were that type of person with cuddles, kisses, hugs, affections, etc. That coupled along with only managing to meet once in April 2014 (mainly due to both of our finances) made for a tough hill to climb. The split was amicable but like a freight truck as it hit me as we were 100% normal then BAM! 3 days later she told me she wasn't happy pursuing our dream anymore. I managed to get a grip after a week and come to terms with what she was saying as we parted ways. The goal was for me to move there but yes, after 2 or so years I never got footing financially or emotionally to make that long move (NC to WA). We're still friends but I find myself trying not to talk to her so often as our schedules and timezones conflict and I don't wanna feel upset. We're friends on Facebook and seeing her hanging out with a guy she had been friends with for more or less the same time frame she met me at (same site of meeting) makes me feel....awkward. I know they're going to date and I'm happy for her but it makes me jaded. I recently joined a bunch of dating sites like you outlined to try and move on. Since the breakup I've bought a new car, a new phone and have a (new) good, well paying job. I am trying to move forward but some days I ache and long for me and her. It's not as strong now roughly 5 months since (I haven't spoken to her since my birthday in October...) but it's still defeating all the same. I truly loved her. Sorry I rambled about my failures, I am trying to lift you up actually.

Long story short,

I never intended to have a LDR but I did. It's always a surprise when both people find themselves willingly to put themselves in that painful and rewarding situation when they're made for each other. It sounds the same way for you as I read that entire post of yours. Sometimes you find what you're looking for in the most non-obvious places. The wonders of the internet don't pigeon hole you to the area you live at for finding your beloved. That's my current issue, I'm not fitting into or clicking with most women in my tri-city area. I've met and talked to loads of girls but they talk for a bit then ghost me or flat out ignore my ass. I'm about to stop caring/trying for the moment and focus on myself again to make my life even better. Like I said above I want a girl I don't need one. Until then I hope I don't end up "Forever Alone" as I'm picky with what I'll consider for dating material. I never had the best luck with women, unfortunately. Whoever that special woman eventually (and hopefully) will be is going to get everything she deserves and more from my repressed state.

Anyways, I digress too much. I wish you and her the best of luck and if you have Skype or want to PM for tips, ideas, help or experiences I've had PLEASE talk to me. I want you two to keep it up and succeed. Love is a beautiful thing in a wretched, broken world. Oh god, that sounds like drunk posting. I'm not I swear.

[ManBurning]

I was in that LDR for 4 years: June 2012 to June 2016. We didn't officially term ourselves exclusive till February 2013. It was single handedly the most rewarding and painful experience in my 26 years of life. When we were on the same page we were on fire but when either one of us was shaken by the distance it was a dull match in desperation. We skyped, texted, etc. It taught me great patience and communication skills. The lack of physical contact is SEVERELY hurtful. Which made it even shittier as both of us were that type of person with cuddles, kisses, hugs, affections, etc. That coupled along with only managing to meet once in April 2014 (mainly due to both of our finances) made for a tough hill to climb. The split was amicable but like a freight truck as it hit me as we were 100% normal then BAM! 3 days later she told me she wasn't happy pursuing our dream anymore. I managed to get a grip after a week and come to terms with what she was saying as we parted ways. The goal was for me to move there but yes, after 2 or so years I never got footing financially or emotionally to make that long move (NC to WA). We're still friends but I find myself trying not to talk to her so often as our schedules and timezones conflict and I don't wanna feel upset. We're friends on Facebook and seeing her hanging out with a guy she had been friends with for more or less the same time frame she met me at (same site of meeting) makes me feel....awkward. I know they're going to date and I'm happy for her but it makes me jaded. I recently joined a bunch of dating sites like you outlined to try and move on. Since the breakup I've bought a new car, a new phone and have a (new) good, well paying job. I am trying to move forward but some days I ache and long for me and her. It's not as strong now roughly 5 months since (I haven't spoken to her since my birthday in October...) but it's still defeating all the same. I truly loved her. Sorry I rambled about my failures, I am trying to lift you up actually.

Long story short,

I never intended to have a LDR but I did. It's always a surprise when both people find themselves willingly to put themselves in that painful and rewarding situation when they're made for each other. It sounds the same way for you as I read that entire post of yours. Sometimes you find what you're looking for in the most non-obvious places. The wonders of the internet don't pigeon hole you to the area you live at for finding your beloved. That's my current issue, I'm not fitting into or clicking with most women in my tri-city area. I've met and talked to loads of girls but they talk for a bit then ghost me or flat out ignore my ass. I'm about to stop caring/trying for the moment and focus on myself again to make my life even better. Like I said above I want a girl I don't need one. Until then I hope I don't end up "Forever Alone" as I'm picky with what I'll consider for dating material. I never had the best luck with women, unfortunately. Whoever that special woman eventually (and hopefully) will be is going to get everything she deserves and more from my repressed state.

Anyways, I digress too much. I wish you and her the best of luck and if you have Skype or want to PM for tips, ideas, help or experiences I've had PLEASE talk to me. I want you two to keep it up and succeed. Love is a beautiful thing in a wretched, broken world. Oh god, that sounds like drunk posting. I'm not I swear.

4 years! Wow, that's crazy! I don't know if I could do a LDR for that long... Especially you guys having only met once during that whole time! That's insane dedication. Well, I guess it would have been having it worked out. But that's still impressive.

For me, I'm sick of the dating scene. It's a huge joke. That's how I justify getting into a LDR (more on this later) The brief month and a half that I did it for on those dating sites, was the worst experience of my life. The dating scene has changed in the last few years. With the rise of apps like Tinder and other networking sites. For the record, I started meeting people on the internet way back in 1998. I was like one of the pioneers of online dating (I know I sound like I'm trying to sound like I invented it here, haha. I know people met before me), But I'm generally a very shy and reserved person. I'm the kind of person that will not talk to someone unless I am spoken to first. If someone comes up to me to talk, I'll usually talk. But I will avoid eye contact and speaking to people like the plague at all costs. I don't even mind. I like being left alone half the time. I'm not one for petty useless jibber-jabber. So, I used to meet people from the internet back in the A/S/L days. The days of meeting people on forums or or chat boards, way way before social networking sites even existed. This was before we even posted photos of ourselves online! It was always a mystery with who you got. It was like one of those "Super Surprise" grab bags you find at the cash register at 7-11, you never know what's going to be in it until you open it.

Those days we're hilarious thinking back to that. For someone that had a fear of going up to strangers and talking to them, I sure had no problem meeting people off the internet. keep in mind, this was also way way way before the days of cell phones! So it was like, you agree to meet at this time and this place and you just hope for the best. You hope they show up. Haha.

Anyway, where the hell was I going with this? Oh yeah... Online dating has changed! It's like it's now the NORM to do online dating. Everyone and their grandma are doing it, where as back then I want to say... even up to pre 2010 it was super taboo. Like people would look at you funny if you told them you did online dating. Between starting my 6 year relationship (back in 2010) and it ending in 2016, the dating scene EVOLVED during those years. Sure, Online dating was starting to take off at the turn of the century, mid 2000's, but it wasn't until the 2010's that apps like Tinder really made EVERYONE jump on the internet dating bandwagon. And this was for the worse. You'd figure that now that there were so many more fish in the online dating pond, it would work to your advantage , where in reality, the absolute opposite occurred - the scene was now over-saturated. There were waaaaay too many "bros" looking for hookups and giving genuine guys who were looking for a serious relationship a bad name. The internet dating world became a cess-pool of people just looking for one night stands and to play games with other peoples emotions. It was NOT how It was back in 2008-2010. I was on sites like POF before getting into my 6 year relationship, and found that I had generally a decent chance. People messaged me, I had conversations, I went on dates. It was easy.

Fast forward to 2016, when I re-joined said dating sites, I had no bloody idea what the hell to do anymore. Sending messages no longer got responses, and even worse... the women were no longer the ones to initiate the conversations, it was up to the men. The problem with this was, for every 1 women, they probably had 100 messages a day for guys and 95 of them were guys looking for 1 night stands, trying to play the field. So from a women's prescriptive, it was hard to decipher between who was generally serious and who was wasting time. I got so fed up with the online dating scene, I took to something I never thought I would do ever.... I sucked up my shyness, and started approaching people on the street!

However, nobody informed me that, this was 2016, and doing that now is just CREEPY. I had to find that out the hard way, lol. So back to online it was. But online seemed hopeless. At least, locally it did. The girls here were a crapshoot. The local dating scene here is awful.

I guess it's not too surprising that I found love outside the box. I mean, the box was beaten up, ripped, soggy, falling apart and damaged beyond repair anymore. No amount of duct tape was going to reconstruct the box here anymore. I just approached the situation not thinking anything was going to happen, and that's when I found love without even trying. The least likely place I thought to look, actually worked out in the end.

This relationship is teaching me a lot of things about myself I never knew existed. LDR's are not for the weak or faint of heart. They test your patience. But, they can be very very rewarding. If this relationship doesn't work, I think I am officially done with women. I don't want to go back to that dating scene. I've learned from this relationship that I can live without someone. This relationship has basically made me a stronger person independently. All my life I've been a "hopeless romantic" type of person. Always searching for love in all the wrong places. I'm done with that. I've always taken the "I need a girl" approach, but this relationship has taught me that I don't need anyone. I will be fine on my own even if I don't have one.

As for your search, it's a tough one. I mean, you've already done the LDR thing, and I wouldn't expect you to put yourself through that torture again. You deserve to have someone there for you in person after going through a 4 year dedicated LDR, which once again I will give props to you for. That's hardcore. I look at the road I have ahead of me over the next 7 months and ask myself "How am I going to do this" but, at least there is light at the end of the tunnel for us. 7 months really isn't that long. We just need to both be strong and I think we'll get through this. The toughest part is not having someone to hug and kiss and cuddle and get that physical contract with. But the communication is there, and that's what gets us through each day at a time. I wish you luck finding someone, and I would say if the tri-city area isn't working for you, expand your horizons. But you already know that. You tried that already. Just keep doing what you do, and I'm sure someone will come alone. It always ends up coming when you least expect it. People always say that, and as cliche as it sounds, it's true. Sometimes these things just happen when you least expect them.

We don't choose who we fall in love with... It just kind of happens. I've never experienced feelings that I have with this girl ever before. I was frightened at first, but not anymore. Looking back at that 6 year relationship of mine, that wasn't love. I never experienced what I am now with that (or any other) relationship of mine. Now, I don't know if it's the distance that has helped in this case, but whatever it is... I like it. Just hope everything ends up working out in the end.

I appreciate your willingness to lend an ear for LDR relationship tips and tricks. So far I don't have any complaints. We trust each other completely. If I ever need someone to reach out to for advice, I'll be sure to shoot you a PM or something though.

[Space Suicide]

4 years! Wow, that's crazy! I don't know if I could do a LDR for that long... Especially you guys having only met once during that whole time! That's insane dedication. Well, I guess it would have been having it worked out. But that's still impressive.

For me, I'm sick of the dating scene. It's a huge joke. That's how I justify getting into a LDR (more on this later) The brief month and a half that I did it for on those dating sites, was the worst experience of my life. The dating scene has changed in the last few years. With the rise of apps like Tinder and other networking sites. For the record, I started meeting people on the internet way back in 1998. I was like one of the pioneers of online dating (I know I sound like I'm trying to sound like I invented it here, haha. I know people met before me), But I'm generally a very shy and reserved person. I'm the kind of person that will not talk to someone unless I am spoken to first. If someone comes up to me to talk, I'll usually talk. But I will avoid eye contact and speaking to people like the plague at all costs. I don't even mind. I like being left alone half the time. I'm not one for petty useless jibber-jabber. So, I used to meet people from the internet back in the A/S/L days. The days of meeting people on forums or or chat boards, way way before social networking sites even existed. This was before we even posted photos of ourselves online! It was always a mystery with who you got. It was like one of those "Super Surprise" grab bags you find at the cash register at 7-11, you never know what's going to be in it until you open it.

Those days we're hilarious thinking back to that. For someone that had a fear of going up to strangers and talking to them, I sure had no problem meeting people off the internet. keep in mind, this was also way way way before the days of cell phones! So it was like, you agree to meet at this time and this place and you just hope for the best. You hope they show up. Haha.

Anyway, where the hell was I going with this? Oh yeah... Online dating has changed! It's like it's now the NORM to do online dating. Everyone and their grandma are doing it, where as back then I want to say... even up to pre 2010 it was super taboo. Like people would look at you funny if you told them you did online dating. Between starting my 6 year relationship (back in 2010) and it ending in 2016, the dating scene EVOLVED during those years. Sure, Online dating was starting to take off at the turn of the century, mid 2000's, but it wasn't until the 2010's that apps like Tinder really made EVERYONE jump on the internet dating bandwagon. And this was for the worse. You'd figure that now that there were so many more fish in the online dating pond, it would work to your advanced, where in reality, the absolute opposite occurred - the scene was now over-saturated. There were waaaaay too many "bros" looking for hookups and giving genuine guys who were looking for a serious relationship a bad name. The internet dating world became a cess-pool of people just looking for one night stands and to play games with other peoples emotions. It was NOT how It was back in 2008-2010. I was on sites like POF before getting into my 6 year relationship, and found that I had generally a decent chance. People messages me, I had conversations, I went on dates. It was easy.

Fast forward to 2016, when I re-joined said dating sites, I had no bloody idea what the hell to do anymore. Sending messages no longer got responses, and even worse... the women were no longer the ones to initiate the conversations, it was up to the men. The problem with this was, for every 1 women, they probably had 100 messages a day for guys and 95 of them were guys looking for 1 night stands, trying to play the field. So from a women's prescriptive, it was hard to decipher between who was generally serious and who was wasting time. I got so fed up with the online dating scene, I took to something I never thought I would do ever.... I sucked up my shyness, and started approaching people on the street!

However, nobody informed me that, this was 2016, and doing that now is just CREEPY. I had to find that out the hard way, lol. So back to online it was. But online seemed hopeless. At least, locally it did. The girls here were a crapshoot. The local dating scene here is awful.

I guess it's not too surprising that I found love outside the box. I mean, the box was beaten up, ripped, soggy, falling apart and damaged beyond repair anymore. No amount of duct tape was going to reconstruct the box here anymore. I just approached the situation not thinking anything was going to happen, and that's when I found love without even trying. The least likely place I thought to look, actually worked out in the end.

This relationship is teaching me a lot of things about myself I never knew existed. LDR's are not for the weak or faint of heart. They test your patience. But, they can be very very rewarding. If this relationship doesn't work, I think I am officially done with women. I don't want to go back to that dating scene. I've learned from this relationship that I can live without someone. This relationship has basically made me a stronger person independently. All my life I've been a "hopeless romantic" type of person. Always searching for love in all the wrong places. I'm done with that. I've always taken the "I need a girl" approach, but this relationship has taught me that I don't need anyone. I will be fine on my own even if I don't have one.

As for your search, it's a tough one. I mean, you've already done the LDR thing, and I wouldn't expect you to put yourself through that torture again. You deserve to have someone there for you in person after going through a 4 year dedicated LDR, which once again I will give props to you for. That's hardcore. I look at the road I have ahead of me over the next 7 months and ask myself "How am I going to do this" but, at least there is light at the end of the tunnel for us. 7 months really isn't that long. We just need to both be strong and I think we'll get through this. The toughest part is not having someone to hug and kiss and cuddle and get that physical contract with. But the communication is there, and that's what gets us through each day at a time. I wish you luck finding someone, and I would say if the tri-city area isn't working for you, expand your horizons. But you already know that. You tried that already. Just keep doing what you do, and I'm sure someone will come alone. It always ends up coming when you least expect it. People always say that, and as cliche as it sounds, it's true. Sometimes these things just happen when you least expect them.

We don't choose who we fall in love with... It just kind of happens. I've never experienced feelings that I have with this girl ever before. I was frightened at first, but not anymore. Looking back at that 6 year relationship of mine, that wasn't love. I never experienced what I am now with that (or any other) relationship of mine. Now, I don't know if it's the distance that has helped in this case, but whatever it is... I like it. Just hope everything ends up working out in the end.

I appreciate your willingness to lend an ear for LDR relationship tips and tricks. So far I don't have any complaints. We trust each other completely. If I ever need someone to reach out to for advice, I'll be sure to shoot you a PM or something though.

Kind words and an insightful post. I'd love to reply to everything you mentioned with bullet points but I don't think I could string together an amazing response worth the effort.

You're right about online dating. What I love and laugh at is the women I see say "no hookups and no games, I want something serious" and I take the time to read their profile and comment in a message about stuff I read that we can get talking about. I get ignored or a get a measly 2 word reply that they continue for 5 or 6 messages till they don't reply anymore. I'm like what the fuck? It's like the effort is 80/20 and the men get the shaft in the end. Just about every girl I talked to or still talk to here and there I do the initial message. It's not really fair. Relationships, friendships and flirting are supposed to be 50/50 and fun for both parties involved. I don't mind chasing a girl (since it's basically taboo for the opposite of that sentence to occur) but I want some effort on their end sometimes. These sites have not done that except for one girl and she dropped me like a bad habit for literally no reason and ghosted my ass. She's with a guy now and all but she could've said something haha.

Thanks for the well wishes. I'm always an open ear for you too.

[cashpiles (closed)]

Tomorrow, my live-in gf is heading back to her home country of Japan for 5-6 months. We met each other in January and officially began out relationship in April. We've been living together since the beginning of September. We plan on continuing te relationship while she's gone, and we plan to move back in together when she returns to Canada next year.

Part of me is sad that I won't have her close to me. The other part of me is excited to have the apartment to myself and to possibly have sex with some different people.

[cashpiles (closed)]

I just said goodbye to my gf at the security checkpoint. I was crying as I walked out of the airport. Trying not to crack up right now on the Skytrain. I didn't know I would feel so strongly. I guess I better keep her for the long run.

[Space Suicide]

I just said goodbye to my gf at the security checkpoint. I was crying as I walked out of the airport. Trying not to crack up right now on the Skytrain. I didn't know I would feel so strongly. I guess I better keep her for the long run.

Saying goodbyes are always a sad and painful thing. I hated dealing with them.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

[Sallos]

Kind words and an insightful post. I'd love to reply to everything you mentioned with bullet points but I don't think I could string together an amazing response worth the effort.

You're right about online dating. What I love and laugh at is the women I see say "no hookups and no games, I want something serious" and I take the time to read their profile and comment in a message about stuff I read that we can get talking about. I get ignored or a get a measly 2 word reply that they continue for 5 or 6 messages till they don't reply anymore. I'm like what the fuck? It's like the effort is 80/20 and the men get the shaft in the end. Just about every girl I talked to or still talk to here and there I do the initial message. It's not really fair. Relationships, friendships and flirting are supposed to be 50/50 and fun for both parties involved. I don't mind chasing a girl (since it's basically taboo for the opposite of that sentence to occur) but I want some effort on their end sometimes. These sites have not done that except for one girl and she dropped me like a bad habit for literally no reason and ghosted my ass. She's with a guy now and all but she could've said something haha.

Thanks for the well wishes. I'm always an open ear for you too.

Dude, create a fake profile as a woman, then get back to me.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Space Suicide]

Dude, create a fake profile as a woman, then get back to me.

I can imagine. I won't doubt there's retarded people and hundreds of messages from every fuckwit dude imaginable but I'm sure you'd be able to weed out complete failures within minutes. I'm good at reading people, even online so if I know they're a waste of time with brain power of a bag of rocks I'll know it. That's why I don't reply to few messages from women I do get. There's been about 5 I replied to ever. Eventually they all ghosted me anyways so...

Doesn't matter though for the sites at the moment. Met a high school english teacher who is super witty and quick with her words and I dig her a lot. We Facetimed earlier and it felt so nice. She had a busy night grading stuff but actually took the downtime to honor her word of me asking for her time to call. I asked her up front during the call if she would want to meet up to do something and she gave me a no bullshit answer of yes. So far so good but won't get my hopes up.

Edit: Asked her out to coffee and she said yes. Sunday shall be fun for once.

[playwithfire]

That's why I don't reply to few messages from women I do get. There's been about 5 I replied to ever. Eventually they all ghosted me anyways so...

Just wanna point out here that it seems you’re kinda doing the same thing you’re complaining about women doing, when you likely are getting far fewer messages.

[Space Suicide]

Just wanna point out here that it seems you’re kinda doing the same thing you’re complaining about women doing, when you likely are getting far fewer messages.

When someone says a basic generic hello and I reply and they offer no conversation after then yeah you're right. I spoke with one girl who started with a hello message on a few exchanges about music and we got to a point where she said lol. How do you respond to that? Clearly she drew a blank. We spoke after and it led no where with her saying the same thing.

Yeah, me and both sexes are guilty of the message ignoring. Not denying it.

[eversonpoe]

dropped off my wife at work this morning, after which she's going on a work retreat for the next few days. she'll return friday afternoon, which leaves me sleeping at home alone for three nights. this is the most time we'll have spent apart since we moved in together four and a half years ago. not sure if my anxiety about this is what induced the terrible panic attack i had on sunday, but i'm dreading this week. i've tried to make sure the majority of my time will be spent with other people as i never do well alone, but this situation is particularly worrisome.

[SM Rollinger]

I havent been in a relationship since my last one ended in 2013. My on again off again girlfriend since 1999 and I finally parted ways, and its for the better. It was a toxic relationship that brought us both down. We had both done terrible things to each other over the years, and she (and me to a certian extent) was they type of person that was constantally stuck in the past, unable to move forward in life. She devolved thyroid cancer in 2012, and it changed her personality (as would be expected) to the point where I dint know who she was at all any more. I feel like she kept me around because she knew I would stick by her through out that experience, and afterwards I got pushed away for the last time. I do miss her, but thankfully she moved and I havent spoken to her in almost a year. I know ill move on eventually, but I still feel broken from this experience. Its hard when you have know somebody for over half your life.

Thats probably all im going to say about this, and I feel marginally better getting it out there.

[Space Suicide]

Sooooooooooooo

Had my first date with my lady today. The high school english teacher I mentioned prior. Went to a coffee shop to meet and somehow ended up parting ways 4 hours later....like damn.

Another date next Saturday. Burgers and bowling? I think yes. She even called today and next week dates so she knows my intentions. I'm so stoked and in such a great mood. This shit made my day and will make my week go by slow till I get to see her again. I cannot fucking wait.

[Space Suicide]

WORK STRIKES AGAIN! Stuck working a surprise (but not really) mandatory shift this Saturday when my date was scheduled.

I told her and she swiftly came up with the idea that I go to her place when I get off my shift. We get food and stay in and watch a movie or some shows. Works for me.

[Space Suicide]

WORK STRIKES AGAIN! Stuck working a surprise (but not really) mandatory shift this Saturday when my date was scheduled.

I told her and she swiftly came up with the idea that I go to her place when I get off my shift. We get food and stay in and watch a movie or some shows. Works for me.

And it turned out to be a super awesome and excellent night after a shit day at work. I bought dinner and we went back to her place and "watched" two movies and a Doctor Who Christmas special. I say "watched" as we talked through our first choice almost non stop. The 2nd film choice was later and we cuddled...felt great. I haven't in years. Had we stayed like that much longer I bet I would've fallen asleep haha >.<

Her cat also likes me and that's awesome too.

Planning a potential time frame and idea for a third date. This is going well. I gots feelings everybody.

[eversonpoe]

And it turned out to be a super awesome and excellent night after a shit day at work. I bought dinner and we went back to her place and "watched" two movies and a Doctor Who Christmas special. I say "watched" as we talked through our first choice almost non stop. The 2nd film choice was later and we cuddled...felt great. I haven't in years. Had we stayed like that much longer I bet I would've fallen asleep haha >.<

Her cat also likes me and that's awesome too.

Planning a potential time frame and idea for a third date. This is going well. I gots feelings everybody.

i am SO EXCITED for you. like i just got all giddy reading that. there's something about the beginning of a dating process that is both nerve-wracking but so exciting and i love seeing people in those stages. good luck! <3

[Space Suicide]

i am SO EXCITED for you. like i just got all giddy reading that. there's something about the beginning of a dating process that is both nerve-wracking but so exciting and i love seeing people in those stages. good luck! <3

Well thanks!

It is nerve wracking but totally worth the efforts when things click. Last night was so simple but extremely fun.

I am hopefully doing something on her side of things in this (she says she enjoys talking and we flirt subtly) but I definitely can feel something starting to spark here on my end. I respect boundaries with women so when it comes to physical things I am subtle but less hands on unless I know its super obvious. However last night she was starting to slouch in her place on the couch a bit more and more as time progressed till eventually her head touched my chest. I did the only natural thing and wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her closer as it became a hold/hug. I could've and would've been more bold in my affections but laid off and enjoyed what we had. I played with her fingers and palm a bit when we held hands during it, she reciprocated surprisingly ahah...ahhhh. I will be more bold and up front next time, that's for sure. I left her apartment at midnight and man I could tell you how much that fucking sucked haha.

She must be willing and interested to continue as she said yes for a third date. She also said her students are interested in her life and always ask her how her weekends are. They prodded her last week with the coffee date, I could only imagine this week. It makes me smile, honestly.

Things are turning in my favor.

Ahhhh crush post flooded up there. I'm typically a kiss and no tell kind of guy. I didn't kiss her, this time.

[playwithfire]

nevermind

[Bachy]

I met a new girl recently. Immediately she tells me how much she loves my teeth. I have very prominent incisors so it does kinda make me look vampiric. She is certainly not the first girl to comment on this. I'd like to reach out to the women on this board. What is it about this that some women like so much. Is it all because of Twilight?

[Kyle]

She likes you a-with-a teeth-a