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Thread: The Relationship Thread

  1. #3091
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    Tonight was incredibly confusing.

    Feel free to share your "I decided to move into being non-platonic with someone I've been friends with for years who I met by going on a date with, and then formed a really deep friendship that was decidedly not-sexual but then that changed and it was good/bad/other/fine" stories. I could use em.
    Last edited by playwithfire; 04-01-2018 at 12:28 AM.

  2. #3092
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    Tonight was incredibly confusing.

    Feel free to share your "I decided to move into being non-platonic with someone I've been friends with for years who I met by going on a date with, and then formed a really deep friendship that was decidedly not-sexual but then that changed and it was good/bad/other/fine" stories. I could use em.
    What’s confusing you?

  3. #3093
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    Drunken flirting escalated further than expected and turned into weird confessions of attraction. She was wearing a really great outfit and we're talking about doing burlesque together and she was like running her nails down my arm and I was going "I don't have any feelings about this. I feel nothing." and she was coming back with sarcastic/same remarks and then we were talking about how we have the MOST platonic friendship (heavy sarcastic hyperbole) and how everything was fine.

    I don't know if I'm actually sexually attracted to her despite having pretty deep and legit romantic feelings (truly not something that means I want anything different than what we currently have as a friendship) and her being textbook my type, because my sexuality is really confusing and mercurial. Or if I want to do anything there because her friendship is actually really, really important to me. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. A week later I'm kinda sitting with the "I'm gonna do nothing about this for now and just see what happens." take, which feels like the right move.

    That night was just realllll weird. So may intersections of my friend life/barely-existing romantic life/kink life at one event.
    Last edited by playwithfire; 04-07-2018 at 08:00 AM.

  4. #3094
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    My buddies wife left him on saturday. I get it as much as i can why she may have. It took him for a complete loop however. He got a text saturday night after being out of town for a couple days, sunday she picked up the kids, had a house etc already... Kind of shitty but at the same time you gotta just make it quick as can be. She's a really cool lady and si being good about everything to do with the kids and what not. She mentioned the whole i need space thing and so far he's latched onto that. If I had to bet I'm pretty sure she's done. In my experience when a woman is done with your/any type of shit, she's done. Like I'm sure they'll both be fine and hopefully neither one does anything stupid, mostly him as he's kind of a fiery type, and they can maintain a copacetic parenting relationship. It's hard listening to him bounce between i can make this right, and why do i care posturing. I haven't really talked to her much as of right now as i don't need any possible backlash from doing so, not that I wouldn't.

    I just know I got pretty wrecked after me and my long term ex of nine years split and the emotional shit storm that was, these two have been together for like 19 years. I kind of just wan't to tell him to strap in for a hell ride, but i gotta just let him sort shit out for himself. Poor fucking bastard, last night after we dropped stuff off at her place on the way back to my place he said to me, "I think the worst of it is over." People process stuff differently but all i could think was, man you haven't even yet begun to process the what's and why's, even if you have a base understanding of the some of the issues. I guess I'll just have to be his wall to throw his shit at for a time and try not to offer any bullshit advice or cut too deep with a bit of my sometimes tactless advice. Luckily i've learned that most people when they talk about there problems just want an ear to vent into, not so much advice or cold does of reality.
    Last edited by Pillfred; 05-01-2018 at 01:29 PM.

  5. #3095
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    Having trouble with my relationship right now, and not sure what to do.

    I'm engaged in a battle with the condo corporation for the townhomes over whether or not I'm allowed an election sign on my front lawn, and it's having an impact on my relationship with my girlfriend. She disagrees with what I'm doing in that fight, and as a result, we had a fight where she keeps advocating for me to just let it go and let them win, and I'm still really upset because they keep stealing my signs over and over again.

    She's much more passive than I am, and that's fine, I don't expect her to engage in battles the same way I do if she doesn't want to, but I'm feeling like she's sabotaging my attempts to right a wrong that was done to me. She's calling my self-defence a maladaptive behaviour.

    Any suggestions on what to do?

  6. #3096
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    Well, I was dating a guy for a month and decided to end it. I was pretty sure we weren't actually compatible but I kind of liked him anyway, even though we were pretty different. Even though it's basically what I expected, I'm still kind of bummed.

  7. #3097
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    A recipe to create my delicious and famous status relationship cake

    100g of Only (Nine inch nails)
    2 cups of Love hate love (Alice in chains)
    3 spoons of Choke (Alice in chains)
    1 Back off bitch (GnR)
    1 teaspoon of Somewhat damaged (Nin)

    Mix everything in a blender , add some pieces of stupid girl (Garbage) with a teaspoon of Hell on High Hells (Mötley Crüe) and voilà
    it tastes well with a glass of rootless tree (Damien Rice)

  8. #3098
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    Oh wow.

  9. #3099
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    Here I've been telling people that I never dated a German guy, but that's actually not true. I dated a German man once, but we never saw each other again. We had nothing in common, other than the fact that we were both German.

  10. #3100
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    10 years later...
    10 fucking years later...
    And I did the same fucking mistake again
    I Should not try this shit in the first place


    I cannot go through this again...
    Fuck

  11. #3101
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    I'm someone who is generally happy with singledom (artist introvert) but I've noticed a rather worrying thing I do whenever anyone starts to like me, now, which is put up a wall until they don't anymore.

  12. #3102
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacabreMagpie View Post
    I'm someone who is generally happy with singledom (artist introvert) but I've noticed a rather worrying thing I do whenever anyone starts to like me, now, which is put up a wall until they don't anymore.
    Do you tend to like the person showing interest or not?

  13. #3103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lt. Randazzo View Post
    Do you tend to like the person showing interest or not?
    I'd say so. I know exactly why I do it, too, because I've had some bad relationship experiences (not that anything major happened, they just didn't work) but I'm someone that people tend to gravitate towards for friendship and so I have it in my head that I'm better off letting people only see that side of me.

  14. #3104
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    Hey guys...specifically @eversonpoe, @playwithfire, and Sarah K (who I can never tag correctly):

    I can’t remember how long ago this was but I remember us having a disagreement about the term “friend zone.” I argued that it did exist at first and then left that discussion believing i defined it differently than you guys did.

    I was incorrect. Why bring this up now, you may wonder? Well today, on Twitter, one of my friends posted a thread about it (https://twitter.com/bakeanddestroy/s...752545797?s=21) and it finally hit me—I always thought the “friend zone” existed because I had been led on a couple times in the past and had been hurt not so much from any expectation but more from a “Oh shit, I thought I was working toward a relationship” only to discover I’d been used.

    Not a good feeling.

    But reading that post today, I realized an important correlation I missed before. I’m terrible with talking to women I meet and like at first until I’m more comfortable and get to know them better. So I didn’t realize I was being used until much later and have been mislabeling this. My own shortcomings with this social interaction kept me from realizing I was being used. It doesn’t matter much that my intentions were good or that I thought I was working toward these becoming relationships. Sadly, it didn’t matter that these two had zero intentions of being my friend much less my girlfriend.

    If I had been more adept, I’d have known I was being used. These two women are shitty for using me, make no mistake, but I was in a bad situation I unknowingly allowed myself to be in.

    Sorry for the long ass post but felt it necessary to mention. I apologize. You guys were right.

  15. #3105
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacabreMagpie View Post
    I'm someone who is generally happy with singledom (artist introvert) but I've noticed a rather worrying thing I do whenever anyone starts to like me, now, which is put up a wall until they don't anymore.
    Honestly, when it's not a mutual feeling I've been super guilty of this before as well. Unless they're really graceful about it, which I have one friend who's amazing at that. Like, she's made it super clear she finds me attractive but it has NEVER impacted any of our other interactions. People should be more like her.

    But, if you like them, that's a lot harder.

  16. #3106
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    I've been dealing with some loneliness stuff, which is super not my usual m.o. and I know will pass, but bleh.

  17. #3107
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    I was at a panties-on/r-rated only play party last night, and accidentally handled something poorly (like, it wasn't consent-related but I definitely fucked up) and created an awkward situation due to me trying to be inclusive of multiple people and over-promising a bit. I checked in with my friend who I made the situation awkward for (I'd ended up playing with someone thinking it was going to be a "I do things to her, friend does things to me" thing after we'd all chatted about stuff, thought she'd just gone to the bathroom, but realized she'd thought she just wasn't participating in that part and that we were going to take turns, and that she wasn't interested in playing simultaneously with the other girl, which is legit and I had overly complicated shit), I apologized, and like we moved past it and had a fun rest of the night.

    It's weird for me, since it's the first time in a couple of years I've accidentally gotten ahead of myself/been a bit insensitive in that kind of context, and the only thing I have other experiences with there would have been with my ex where that would have been a massive, huge problem most likely. So I'm thrown off by someone being like, understanding and forgiving and I'm still feeling guilty and bleh. Three cheers for toxic dynamics and their lasting implications.

    update: okay it's been a week and I'm still fucked up about this. This would have been a huge fight and aaaaaaaah people are just understanding and like we just moved on and whaaaaat
    Last edited by playwithfire; 07-27-2018 at 03:03 PM.

  18. #3108
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    Forced to endure what I could not forgive...

    Once for all I'm far away
    Saw things so much clearer

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