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Thread: The Relationship Thread

  1. #3001
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    Maybe this will end with facepalms, but I realized my three main relationships were with girls not using hormonal contraception. Of course that is hardly enough for some statistical analysis :-), but what if I really can not "smell" women using that, and in return they can not "smell" me...? You know, because with these three, I immediately felt some emotional FEEDBACK, and now I feel... nothing. Anything I broadcast, I receive nothing. (except one coworker and even she left the town, damn it...) Am I invisible, or... what happened? Maybe MY receiver is broken? Halo? Can you hear me? :-)
    (random babbling of sexually and generally frustrated man, forgive me please;-)

  2. #3002
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    I don't understand how that would affect you now though? Assuming you are not using hormonal contraception. Sometimes when it rains it pours re: strong chemistry with folks. Also there's a whole range of hormonal contraception and effects that come out of it.

  3. #3003
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    I have a fun, short, anecdote: There is a guy (!!!!! @ this being rare) I like/would love to ask out but the circumstances around it are waaaaay too creepy for me to be comfortable doing so. Here they are:

    I came across his profile a loooong time ago on okc. We're like a 99% match. I "Liked" him and didn't get any response there and didn't message because I'm lazy, but whatever, shit's chill. Cut to some time later, I'm attending this poly networking thing in NYC with a fwb and we meet this (straight) girl who looks SUPER FAMILIAR. At some point she shows me pictures of her husband, and woah, cue me realizing I recognized her from him linking to her profile on his okc account. (I remembered him because super high match % plus him being a guy) -- I mention this to her outright and ha ha it's funny whee

    Her and fwb date for like a year or so, she invites me recently to a party she's hosting (this has happened before but I've never made it out), at some point she breaks things off with my fwb due to various personal stuff, I attend party, actually meet husband, husband is adorable. We become friends on Facebook, etc. He likes posts I make. I can't lazily flirt with him via Facebook because dude NEVER POSTS. And *I* am not comfortable being like "hey want to go out sometime, person whose wife I recognized from the internet" -- that's where I'm at, I don't know if the girl ever recounted that to him, nah. Also my fwb wouldn't give a shit but I have some sensitivity to "hey guess what asked out the husband of your ex-partner". Anyway, l0lforever.

  4. #3004
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    I have a fun, short, anecdote: There is a guy (!!!!! @ this being rare) I like/would love to ask out but the circumstances around it are waaaaay too creepy for me to be comfortable doing so. Here they are:

    I came across his profile a loooong time ago on okc. We're like a 99% match. I "Liked" him and didn't get any response there and didn't message because I'm lazy, but whatever, shit's chill. Cut to some time later, I'm attending this poly networking thing in NYC with a fwb and we meet this (straight) girl who looks SUPER FAMILIAR. At some point she shows me pictures of her husband, and woah, cue me realizing I recognized her from him linking to her profile on his okc account. (I remembered him because super high match % plus him being a guy) -- I mention this to her outright and ha ha it's funny whee

    Her and fwb date for like a year or so, she invites me recently to a party she's hosting (this has happened before but I've never made it out), at some point she breaks things off with my fwb due to various personal stuff, I attend party, actually meet husband, husband is adorable. We become friends on Facebook, etc. He likes posts I make. I can't lazily flirt with him via Facebook because dude NEVER POSTS. And *I* am not comfortable being like "hey want to go out sometime, person whose wife I recognized from the internet" -- that's where I'm at, I don't know if the girl ever recounted that to him, nah. Also my fwb wouldn't give a shit but I have some sensitivity to "hey guess what asked out the husband of your ex-partner". Anyway, l0lforever.
    Time and distance sounds man, time and distance make all that less relevant. 99% is impressive.

  5. #3005
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    I figure one day it won't matter.

    I actually have a really good streak with 99%s. Ex is 99%, another girl I briiiefly went out with and her husband were both around 99% I think -- this dude, like, okc seems to think he's like the highest match for me. NYC is a weirdly small place.

  6. #3006
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    I've pretty much given up with online dating...and dating in general.

    I found regardless of match rate or interests i was lucky to even get a view, let alone a reply (and i wasn't being "that guy" who just sends "hi how are you" or being a general penis, i actively looked for people with the same interest, music tastes or just stuff in common and tried to start a conversation, but in recent years most of my messages weren't even read...i haven't changed physically from when i used get replies/dates, i just got the feeling attitudes online have changed quite a bit and fewer people are even willing to consider anyone that doesn't match their perfect picture of their partner should look like)

    It's probably better off this way anyway, i always ended up with the wrong kind of people. My new relationship goal is to get a cat...

  7. #3007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haysey View Post
    I've pretty much given up with online dating...and dating in general.

    I found regardless of match rate or interests i was lucky to even get a view, let alone a reply (and i wasn't being "that guy" who just sends "hi how are you" or being a general penis, i actively looked for people with the same interest, music tastes or just stuff in common and tried to start a conversation, but in recent years most of my messages weren't even read...i haven't changed physically from when i used get replies/dates, i just got the feeling attitudes online have changed quite a bit and fewer people are even willing to consider anyone that doesn't match their perfect picture of their partner should look like)

    It's probably better off this way anyway, i always ended up with the wrong kind of people. My new relationship goal is to get a cat...
    get two cats! they do better in pairs so that when you're not home they don't get as lonely. people always think cats don't need them but cats are just as loving and caring as dogs...they just don't always show it in the same way

  8. #3008
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    Well, it's about to happen my friends... My girlfriend and I are about to close our Long Distance gap in 2 days. Well, 2 days unofficially. We each have 1 day left "alone". Tomorrow will be each of our last days apart. I will be flying out to Montreal on Tuesday to help her finalize everything for her move here, and going to the Montobello Rockfest as well (Which was my birthday gift to her), then we will be flying back here on the 28th. Movers will be getting her stuff this Wednesday and we will see them here on the 29th.

    Started this relationship with her last July, so we survived a whole year in a Long Distance relationship. I swore I would never do a LDR in my life, but when I met her last summer when I went to Montreal, I couldn't help but change my mind. Not going to say it's been easy, because it's been hands down the HARDEST thing I have ever went through in my life. The relationship was fine, neither of us ever doubted the other and there was nothing but trust and respect the whole way through. What was hard was the endless stretches in between visits that wet on for months at a time. We saw each other 4 times (5 if you count my original visit when we met) on different occasions through the year (once per season. Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring) and here we are again, full single, going back to Montreal where it all began on Tuesday for my final flight before bringing her back here.

    I am both excited and nervous as hell. Both of us really want this to work. We openly share our thoughts about what a successfully relationship means. We are aware of the challenges that closing the gap is about to create. Living in close quarters with one another and having to change/adapt our communication style. No more texting endlessly, we now have to have face to face discussions about thoughts and feelings and disagreements that may arise from living together. It's going to be different. I've been living alone for the last 7 months for the first time in 10 years recently. Before this I always lived with roommates and ex's, being alone these last 7 months has been a challenge on it's own. it's nice to be able to do what you want, when you want, but it's also very lonely at times. I don't know what's going to happen.... but life is all about taking risks. I think all the pieces fell together quite nicely on how we met. One door closed and another opened and I was crazy if I didn't take the opportunity to walk through the door when I did. Now, here I am almost 1 year later about to move in with this person....

    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    get two cats! they do better in pairs so that when you're not home they don't get as lonely. people always think cats don't need them but cats are just as loving and caring as dogs...they just don't always show it in the same way
    Now, here's the predicament... I have a cat and so does she... so this is about to get a whole lot more interesting. Poor cats, neither of them have any idea how much each of their lives are about to change. I don't know how my cat is going to take it. I always wanted to get him a friend, but that was when he was young and full of energy. You could tell he needed a cat friend. He's older, well 2.5 years old now, not sure old. But he's very jealous and territorial. When i used to play cat videos on youtube, he would come over and be curious and running around the house trying to find the other cat, now he couldn't give 2 shits. He's still a troublemaker, and likes to bite and attack still. He's super loving and affectionate to me, but he doesn't like strangers or company very well. He even hissed at my girlfriend when she was here. He really didn't like her. He warmed up to her during her 2 week stay this last April, but I fear it's back to square one again once she comes... and this time with another cat. Not sure how he'll reach, but hopefully he doesn't kick the new cat's ass too much. I know he is going to be the dominant one, her cat is a bit of a pushover. Super softy. Wouldn't hurt a fly kind of cat. Super gentle. Mine is the opposite. Full of energy and a bit of a dick, lol. I'm sure once he let's the other one know who's boss they'll be fine... but it's the initial reaction/shock that's going to be interesting to see how they handle it.

  9. #3009
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManBurning View Post
    Now, here's the predicament... I have a cat and so does she... so this is about to get a whole lot more interesting. Poor cats, neither of them have any idea how much each of their lives are about to change. I don't know how my cat is going to take it. I always wanted to get him a friend, but that was when he was young and full of energy. You could tell he needed a cat friend. He's older, well 2.5 years old now, not sure old. But he's very jealous and territorial. When i used to play cat videos on youtube, he would come over and be curious and running around the house trying to find the other cat, now he couldn't give 2 shits. He's still a troublemaker, and likes to bite and attack still. He's super loving and affectionate to me, but he doesn't like strangers or company very well. He even hissed at my girlfriend when she was here. He really didn't like her. He warmed up to her during her 2 week stay this last April, but I fear it's back to square one again once she comes... and this time with another cat. Not sure how he'll reach, but hopefully he doesn't kick the new cat's ass too much. I know he is going to be the dominant one, her cat is a bit of a pushover. Super softy. Wouldn't hurt a fly kind of cat. Super gentle. Mine is the opposite. Full of energy and a bit of a dick, lol. I'm sure once he let's the other one know who's boss they'll be fine... but it's the initial reaction/shock that's going to be interesting to see how they handle it.
    Keep them separated. I usually do at least a week. Make sure you put something belonging to the new cat in your cat's space (like a towel from its carrier.) Let them smell each other under the door and get used to the idea of each other. Switch them occasionally so they can check out the others' scent more fully. When you finally get them together, do it over food. Keep a water bottle handy to spray them if they get into a big tussle.


    And congrats!

  10. #3010
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    It's been so long since I've been in a relationship and I have no children. That's why I've actually forgotten how to love people. I finally realized that when I was talking to my friends in England.

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