Likes: 
Faceplams: I don't wanna be an alarmist or anything, but you might also want to get yourself checked.
Throbbing Member
I don't wanna be an alarmist or anything, but you might also want to get yourself checked.
Active Member
My next door neighbor whom I've only spoken to twice in the last three months just slipped her number under my door along with an invitation to go out dancing. Given my current situation, it's doubtful I'll take her up on it. Either way, I'm beyond flattered. Considering how passive I am with virtually everything, I always appreciate it when girls take the initiative.
Bite me
@Hazekiah , you have had some pretty shitty luck with females but this time it seems like just a case of "shit happens." We can set up all kinds of advance ground rules when it comes to this stuff but we can't control our emotions, like chemistry, attraction, jealousy, whatever. Glad you have a good attitude about it and aren't dwelling too negatively on it, though.
And I was WONDERING wtf you were doing in New Hampshire, LOL.
Trollhunter
My girlfriend asked if we could see Deadpool for our Valentines Day date. How could I say no? I call that a huge win.
Active Member
Sometimes reading this thread is way better than an old TV soap opera.
Active Member
Have posted back my collar with a note explaining I still love him but I can't carry on in this situation and the ball's in his court whether this relationship continues or ends (utter lack of communication is one of the reasons it's not working, hence doing this by post). It's amazing when we're together but I can't force the whole thing to happen by myself.
I feel like I'm naked in an arctic wind. I think my rational side knows it's the right thing to do (I edited the note over a few days to make sure I wasn't an accidental overcunt), but my emotional side could do with a bottle of gin and a bathtub full of puppies.
Stubby Member
What's your current situation, and why does it prevent you from going dancing? Are you already in a relationship?Originally Posted by Bachy
Throbbing Member
Dating. Dates. I've never really....consciously been on a date. It's happening though. I'm freaking out in the best possible way. The "I'm into you, let's get to know each other!" conversation is new to me. I'm tempted to ask for advice but I'm pretty sure being friendly and being myself is already part of what I did last night where I met this guy so...The advice I'm trying to give myself is to not be too hostile because I honestly want to be relaxed and not wonder when I'll have to be ready to push him off me in an unbidden make out attempt. He didn't try anything last night, a party scenario with a terrible Brazilian funk song where the lyrics honestly kept me laughing more than dancing, roughly translated into "I thought I was in love with you, but those feelings were for your dick. You fuck so good!" It was absurd, the whole situation felt surreal. This guy is a musician and I was relieved to find out that Brazilian funk isn't his scene, hahaha!
EDIT. I'm not feeling very excited anymore. He's apparently a "let me text you every day until we see each other again" kind of guy. Today I explained to him I'm not a fan of having conversations over text unless it's quick questions and trying to make plans type things. "We'll talk more Saturday!"
Last edited by halloween; 02-23-2016 at 06:14 PM.
Active Member
How does one go about striking up a conversation with someone at the gym without looking like a complete creep? I usually figure everyone there is like me and just doesn't want to be bothered.
Throbbing Member
correct them on their deadlift form.
Stubby Member
Yeah, don't. Unless the other person is already crazily flirting with you. This type of thing can get uncomfortable pretty fast, especially for women.
Throbbing Member
Reading body language is crucial. I've had someone ask me about my tattoo at the gym, I honestly didn't mind being asked. The guy was getting on the treadmill next to me. I didn't cut my eye contact short, I didn't do the nervous-smiling, looking down or doing a side glance- which indicates "I'm not opening myself up to talk to you". We talked a bit but the conversation naturally died down since we were both running, and I get out of breath easily. Then when I left, I waved bye without much ado. He was polite, he didn't have the "I'm going to talk to you until we're walking out of here together or planning a date" vibe. The moment I notice this intention/desperation in a dude talking to me, I freak out and start planning my escape.
I know a woman who LOVES to go the gym and get guys' attention. I think there are definitely people who are open to socializing at gyms, but again, keep the ice-breaker light and non-committal, so you can get a first reading of the person's reception and making it easy for you to just walk away without being terribly awkward? Reading people's body language can be hard, ESPECIALLY if you're nervous to begin with! It causes you to cloud your "vision" so to speak, haha.
Last edited by halloween; 02-27-2016 at 09:14 PM. Reason: grammah.
Active Member
That would certainly exacerbate things a bit considering my glasses tend to get pretty foggy at the gym.
Throbbing Member
I've got a crush...on a married guy. Haaaaaaa. Well, the crush developed in the course of three weeks which clearly means I can undo it just as quickly, right?
Throbbing Member
yeah you'll be fine! and it depends on how long he's been married. most new school marriages don't last for shit.
i was into a married man somewhat recently. he's old school married though. and it wasn't fair! he doesn't wear a ring! anyhow, i found a man, and pretty much put the crush on the back burner and just enjoy the married fella's company from time to time.
BACKROLLS?!
Put me in the 'inappropriate crush' corner as well - mine is a lecturer of mine. It's very frustrating.
Captain Rustleboots
This is brilliant, or ask them if they need a spot.
Active Member
I wouldn't call my gigantic crush that I've been super preoccupied with lately inappropriate but it is somewhat unattainable, if not unrequited. A friend of mine who saw us interacting in a group hangout recently told me that it did seem mutual, so I have that, but I can't really ask them directly if there's interest for reasons. They'll be in NYC in a few months and I'm hoping maybe we can open up then, but we'll see. I like them a lot.
Add Violins
never works that way for me. it's always like an eight month process to get over them.
Active Member
I know I'm late to the party, but I hope to god the person this was directed to realizes that it's sarcasm. As a gym-goer themselves, I would imagine they do. But just in case: don't be "that guy".
Throbbing Member
Correcting bad deadlift form is civic duty.
Throbbing Member
Heh. I'm not entirely ...crushed... by this fact about my crush because I wasn't holding out for much to begin with. I'll be seeing this person on a regular basis so I doubt it'll ever truly go away. On the other hand, I have multiple crushes so it's all good. Free love for all, man!
Active Member
Anybody have hot tips for sending like one final message to someone who could either be ghosting you *or* could just suck at texting? I really don't want to be like *that* person who can't take a hint but also think this person is pretty cool so would like to not lose out on em as a friend or other. This is just a "how do I human" sort of question, not me trying to like analyze the situation.
Context: We did a date thing and got along super well, exchanged texts sparely (neither of us like texting and both of us are bad at it) during which she didn't reply for a bit (couple of days) to one due to being sick (like, really, not a cover story), made plans again, had lunch, she went "I'd like to see you again." when we parted ways, she emailed me some music at some point. I've sent her like two "How's your week been going?" texts over the past couple of weeks and never heard back. We seemed to get along super well, so her disengaging is surprising but hey, people have their reasons and it happens.
I'm thinking maybe an email with some music she might like and then "Hey, would you want to chill sometime in the next couple of weeks? Either in a date-y context or just as friends. I think you're really cool, but don't want to keep messaging if you'd rather not chat, so I'll leave it here."
Thoughts? Being a person is hard.
Active Member
Maybe being a person is hard for her as well? Stuff like depression make it really hard to human sometimes. I know I tend to love what I call "mes chieurs", my buggers, who will keep on poking me with a stick until I react "properly"... But it's hard to tell apart from someone who simply can't be bothered...
Active Member
Yeah, basically the last thing I want is to be someone who can't take a hint/to bother her by not backing off. I guess I'll try that unless someone has other suggestions?
she/her/hers
no, i think your idea about e-mailing her some music and asking to hang out is a good idea. reciprocation in a way in which she already reached out to you is a good way to open things again.
Active Member
So the friend I liked who went back with her ex and I are going to see Flight of the Conchords in June. Now, I opted to buy the tickets. Since I'm generally the one doing this, I naturally asked her if she knew of any other friends she'd want to invite, just so I knew how many tickets to get. She told me to just get the two. Now, this could simply be because she honestly knows no one else who likes the Conchords (which I find impossible). Also she unexpectedly came home last weekend wanting to hang out. We loosely made plans which I had to bail on due to work. Though something that was out of character for her was that when we were texting that night she made a point of telling me she was "tipsy." I've been there, could have simply been just some drunk nonsense being spouted. Now she texts me today saying she thinks we should do a scary movie marathon together. Now I've never been great at reading signals, but something for me here just makes me feel like she's got a little more than just friendship on her mind.
Quiet Member
Yeah, you should show up with some booze and every horror movie ever made ASAP if you're interested at all. Worst case scenario = you get tipsy in good company, watch some awesome movies, and wind up friendzoned. Could be worse.
And @playwithfire should just send a dickpic and see what happens, lol. j/k
Not that anyone should be taking relationship advice from ME right now, but I'll get back to that later.
Active Member
All of my dicks are detachable and non-realistic.
Hierba Gatera
As I've never owned a cell phone, I'm clueless about texting etiquette so I don't know if this suggestion is a good or bad one. Why don't you just call her?
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