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Thread: The Relationship Thread

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by leo3375 View Post
    I've been married for over four years. The Husband and I have been together for about 13 years now.
    15 years, here, and not married but shacking up.

    We're talking about getting married in March 2012 (our 16th anniverary). On SKIS.

    edit: Here's when we met. He was sitting next to me. We started shooting the shit about Led Zeppelin and having seen Page & Plant at the United Center. He said he thought, "I'm gonna marry that girl." The rest is history. His friend Harry, who was there, said "Yeah, you guys never shut up."
    Last edited by allegro; 12-06-2011 at 02:37 AM.

  2. #32
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    I actually blew allegro off to go on that first date, haha! Do you remember me calling you from the bar?
    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    15 years, here, and not married but shacking up.

    We're talking about getting married in March 2012 (our 16th anniverary). On SKIS.
    Whoa, that's wild! What made you change your tune on getting hitched?

  3. #33
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    Health Insurance.

    Welcome to America.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Health Insurance.

    Welcome to America.
    Heheh. Marriage, the oldest and greatest going-out-of-business sale.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by botley View Post
    I actually blew allegro off to go on that first date, haha! Do you remember me calling you from the bar?
    What???? Seriously? Was I in Toronto with VeraLynn?

    Edit: Wait, I seem to remember a phone call at a bar in Montreal! (With VeraLynn)
    Last edited by allegro; 12-06-2011 at 03:05 AM.

  6. #36
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    Yup. At first I'd arranged to go with someone else, and had every intention of meeting up with you two after. Then my other friend cancelled, so I asked her if she wanted to go after our Zoology midterm (which I aced). We had dinner and went down to the Air Canada Centre together on the subway. She got a little roughed up in the pit and did the whole wounded bird routine, it brought out my protective side. One thing led to another, and well...
    Last edited by botley; 12-06-2011 at 03:08 AM.

  7. #37
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    Haha, that was in 2005!

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Haha, that was in 2005!
    So I fucked up and wrote four-and-a-half year relationship in my OP but it's actually closer to six years.

  9. #39
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  10. #40
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    Yeah, that's the one... did you two drive to Montreal the same night? We went straight to Ein•stein on College Street, and that's probably where I called you when it became clear things were happening.
    Last edited by botley; 12-06-2011 at 03:17 AM.

  11. #41
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    Nope, next morning, with Monkey Pharmacy, a very nice gentleman who entertained me with stories the entire trip, and he got out to pump gas. VeraLynn slept because she gets car sick. (She and I still text each other, btw, she's doing great.)

  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Nope, next morning, with Monkey Pharmacy, a very nice gentleman who entertained me with stories the entire trip, and he got out to pump gas. VeraLynn slept because she gets car sick. (She and I still text each other, btw, she's doing great.)
    That's cool. I remember hearing about that guy at the time... NIN tours bring people together, it's a wonderful thing.

  13. #43
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    I met the most AWESOME people at that Toronto show, sitting next to me, including a hippy dude who named his kid after Ron Asheton of the Stooges, so many cool people I almost moved to Canada. :-) Oh, and the Montreal people were so AWESOME, too, SO nice, all over the city.

    Anyway, yeah, sorry that relationship didn't work out, dude, but at least you have some funny memories. :-)

    edit: Lunatica, you should demand that he buy you an iPad. You're worth it.
    Last edited by allegro; 12-06-2011 at 03:30 AM.

  14. #44
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    Indeed. I remember most of it very fondly! If the OP is depressing, that's only because it all came to a very sad ending and I had to explain why, but I'm certainly more inclined to dwell on the great times we had together than anything else... I guess in a way it boils down to me choosing to stay in Canada over being with her. Canada just is that awesome.

  15. #45
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    Things happen for a reason, dude. Not to be too Buddhist about the whole thing, but sometimes people are in our "path" who aren't supposed to be the final destination.

  16. #46
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    I can dig it, Sensei. Not interested much in "destinations"/destiny in general at this point, just waiting for the next fish to bite.

  17. #47
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    I'm giving my spare Rammstein ticket to the guy I was massively into last year. Oops.

  18. #48
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    I'm seeing someone at the moment.

  19. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christo View Post
    I'm seeing someone at the moment.
    Congrats!

    I dated someone for a few weeks but then he suddenly decided that it won't work out. Fucking gays.

  20. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by sick among the pure View Post
    DISHES
    Have you actually sat down and talked about the issue instead of making snarky remarks such as "I should take 20 minutes from doing my homework to do them so you don't have to take 20 minutes from playing a video game to do them? Seems fair..."?
    I really enjoy cooking as well, and so I don't mind doing most of it. But you need to have the other side supportive of that. They don't want to do the dishes when it's fair? Then they don't deserve a fresh meal. Explain to him that even if the amount of house work is unfair at the moment due to your extra studying needs, you want his support, and you know that at some point he'll be in the same position with extra responsibilities. I know the situation, we currently live sans-dishwasher, dishes are The Ultimate Chore Of Doom if you're a from-scratch person.

  21. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    edit: Lunatica, you should demand that he buy you an iPad. You're worth it.
    Oh he would get it for me, that's the problem! He loves spending money on me! but yeah, there's all sorts of priorities right now, I don't think we can afford it just yet. But, yeah, if it was up to him he'd gotten me one already.

    I know that's weird behavior coming from a woman but trust me, it's good to have long term goals, I thrive on it. We are buying house stuff, moving and planing on a cruise ship to Alaska next year! It's gonna be awesome.

    Honestly, right now I'm just bored because I'm not really doing anything. An iPad would only fill the void momentarily.

  22. #52
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    I had been with the same guy for eight years, since my freshman year of high school. He was my best friend and we both helped each other through some really tough times. I am heartbroken to see it end but the relationship had been going downhill for a while and took a complete nosedive over the last year. The worst part is that I feel like it was all my fault that it did fail. I was overly stressed with finishing school and working two jobs, and being very sick at the same time. I had zero energy to put towards him but I still tried my best to try and turn things around, I wanted to make things work and if he had asked me to marry him I would have said yes, but instead he asked me to move out.

    And then his colors changed, he became the most bitter asshole to me he could be. Not once in those past eight years had he ever been mean or fought with me. All of a sudden I owed him money for this and money for that, he wanted back things he had given me and guilt me into feeling like I owed him something for all the past things he had helped me with. The most caring person I had once loved almost overnight turned into a materialistic money driven perfectionist that made it absolutely clear that I was never going to be perfect enough for him.

    Strangely I'm kind of glad that it did end that way though, it helped me to know that the person I loved wasn't there any more and it was ok to leave because he wasn't coming back. it was a clean break and things have been really turning up for me since then. Its been just over three months and I have started looking towards grad school, got a full time position so I could quit my miserable second job and now have health insurance so I can take my medicine and stop being deathly ill. And since I have no clue how to be single, I have started a new relationship with a really awesome guy who has so far made me feel amazing in every way.

    I met up my ex last night and we ended up talking for hours, just like we used to. it seemed like I was talking to the old him and that nothing had changed between us. It made me realize that I still do love him a lot and I just wish that he would let me know if he feels the same. Now I just feel terrible all around, now that things are seemingly becoming better between me and the ex I am starting to not be so ok with the fact that its over. And I don't know if I rushed into things with this new guy just so I could feel loved again, I would hate to have him start having feelings for me in a way that now I'm not yet ready to share back. sorry for my run on post but I needed to vent my feelings to the online world for the off chance that someone will tell me that I'm not wrong in feeling this way.

  23. #53
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    A girl I've had my eye on recently just said that she also is interested in me but she leaves to go overseas for a year in less than a month.

    I have no luck.
    Last edited by Thaned; 12-07-2011 at 06:56 AM.

  24. #54
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    What is this "taking things slow" I've gotten myself into now? I definitely have been out of the dating world one hell of a long time for this gender-role reversal. Since when did a boy ever go slow? Did I miss something these last 14 years of either being married or hooking up with old friends? I'm going slowly because I really think he's very special, but if it were up to me, I'd speed it up just a little. Very strange.

  25. #55
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    My ex broke up with me two months ago like an emotionless prick. We were together for almost two years. What he did was he ignored me for two weeks and then sent a long string texts at 2am and pretty much got rid of me everywhere online right after he sent them. After everything we've been through I still can't believe how he did that. I (and others) pretty much had to make him meet me in person and talk, but that lasted about five minutes before he "had to go". He's been under a lot of stress with college and work. He did this before though in January but did it in person, but came back 10 minutes later begging to forgive him. I have no idea if I should have then, because it wasn't the same after that since he would never want to talk about it or ignore it ever happened. Keep in mind we rarely fought and got along amazingly until I was the only one making effort. Right now he's acting like a completely different person and even our mutual friends agree. It's just so strange and not like him at all. He wants to be friends, but I don't see how that will happen since he's pretty much erased me from his life. I didn't handle it well at first, but I'm starting to move on and I'm a lot better now thanks to my friends.

  26. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by sick among the pure View Post
    Dish shit
    Seriously, dude—you need to nip this in the bud. I've had a lot of friends with boyfriends who seem to think that gaming takes precedence (and I know one couple in particular where I could easily envisage this exact same scenario going down) and as a gamer and someone who's lazy but still manages to get my fair share of the chores done, I have to say it's not cool. I don't know how that conversation should pan out, but maybe next time something like this happens (when you're legitimately busy and he's slacking off playing a game that doesn't take all that much effort to pause) you should calmly inform him that you're busy doing coursework and you're on a bit of a roll. Maybe it was an innocent case of him not actually realising you were busy in which case you'll avoid that problem by letting him know you ARE busy. If not, and if he was being selfish, well... You'll be pointing that fact out to him, too.

    As for my relationship woes... I've had two perfectly good friendships spoiled because the guy thought it'd be a good idea to take things to the next level. There are a number of reasons that's not going to happen (#1 being that I'm not interested) and yet it seems like it just keeps on happening. Is it possible for two people to just be friends any more these days? It's not like I'm putting out DATE ME signals or anything; does the fact that I seem willing to hang out doing the exact sort of things friends do make it seem like I'm looking for something more? Maybe I should just stick to socialising in a group...

  27. #57
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    When I was a teenager I would constantly fall in love with my best friend. Then there'd always be a messy break-up and I'd lose two people. Somehow I've managed to quickly put all my male friends into the category of "big brother" so it doesn't happen anymore.

    I have a first date with someone tonight. We have a few things in common but I'm not really attracted to him. Whatever, beats sitting around at home when there's no Eastenders to look forward to.

  28. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hula View Post
    As for my relationship woes... I've had two perfectly good friendships spoiled because the guy thought it'd be a good idea to take things to the next level. There are a number of reasons that's not going to happen (#1 being that I'm not interested) and yet it seems like it just keeps on happening. Is it possible for two people to just be friends any more these days? It's not like I'm putting out DATE ME signals or anything; does the fact that I seem willing to hang out doing the exact sort of things friends do make it seem like I'm looking for something more? Maybe I should just stick to socialising in a group...
    If it were me, and I were single and a bit attracted, I'd probably mistake hanging out alone as a sign that you were interested in more. It can be a bit ebarrassing to realize it wasn't an invitation to more. It probably would be a safer bet to hang out with a couple people at the same time, if you don't want to go to a romantic relationship. In my opinion.

  29. #59
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    Well, that sucks. Especially since I'm incredibly awkward in group situations! Thanks for your input, though. At least I know it's not as if I'm inadvertently throwing myself at these guys without realising it.

  30. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by millionmilesaway View Post
    I had been with the same guy for eight years, since my freshman year of high school. He was my best friend and we both helped each other through some really tough times. I am heartbroken to see it end but the relationship had been going downhill [...] I have started a new relationship with a really awesome guy who has so far made me feel amazing in every way.

    I met up my ex last night and we ended up talking for hours, just like we used to. it seemed like I was talking to the old him and that nothing had changed between us. It made me realize that I still do love him a lot and I just wish that he would let me know if he feels the same. Now I just feel terrible all around, now that things are seemingly becoming better between me and the ex I am starting to not be so ok with the fact that its over. And I don't know if I rushed into things with this new guy just so I could feel loved again, I would hate to have him start having feelings for me in a way that now I'm not yet ready to share back. sorry for my run on post but I needed to vent my feelings to the online world for the off chance that someone will tell me that I'm not wrong in feeling this way.
    Your feelings aren't wrong. They can be based in faulty assumptions but they can't be right or wrong; they're just how you feel. But until you talk more to both guys about what's going on, there can't be any informed course of action. You seem to feel comfortable enough to talk about all this on an online forum where anyone can see it, so I'd recommend broaching the subject of your ex to this new guy. No need to jump right in with "I still might have feelings for him" as that could be misconstrued — but if you explain some of the background, how you spent those eight years with him etc., that might be a good thing to have out in the open. Then no matter what happens, he'll be informed, and if he's as amazing as you think and understanding about it all, then you can move forward from there.

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