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Thread: The Alternative Sexuality thread

  1. #1
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    The Alternative Sexuality thread

    Probably a good idea to resurrect this one. Mods, you can decide whether or not it should be folded into the Fucking Thread, here on this new ETS!

    If not, y'all know what to do in here! It's like the Fucking Thread, but aimed more at the kinkier side of things. For example, I've been frequenting a club night called Sin City at almost all of its twice-a-month parties since July, and I've been having a fucking blast! The people are almost all so friendly, and dungeon time has been quite sexy. I've built my own tools, including a pair of whips made from patch cables and black tape, and a sort of a crop made from a straight-ish, dried vine cane, wrapped in tape and painted reddy-pink. It's name is Mr. Justice.

    I need the money to expand my collection of costumes and bits of gear to go with the cuffs, nipple clamps and ball gag. I'm a dom, but do also enjoy going under the lash a bit!

    Have at 'er, gang!

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    I definitely feel as though this should be separate from a general Fucking thread...

    We have a great club here called The Inferno that does some BDSM nights and I have had the pleasure of attending a couple, so far. I never really got into anything too kinky until I found so many awesome like-minded folks. Plus, my friend, who is also my piercer, is in charge of certain nights (the real kinky ones!), which is a lot of fun. Nothing like getting tied up and slapped around on a stage in front of a bunch of friends and strangers...

    My boyfriend is pretty vanilla, so I don't really bring my interests into the bedroom, but he's keen on pulling my hair and doing some light choking and slapping, so I can dig that. (:

    I don't think I will ever get into buying/making gear. Seems like a very expensive hobby!

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    I want to post here but this thread has a stupid title. *strop*

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    Is this a sort of resurrection of the New Spice?

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    I assumed the BDSM thread. Spice thread=porn yeah?

    Here are some ideas:
    The Playpen
    The Alternative Sexuality thread (if you want to widen the net)

    I can't actually think of any more ideas. But I don't like using the word "freaky". There's nothing weird about this.

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    Limits are limiting.

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    The net has been widened. Er...

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    The bit in brackets wasn't a part of the title! But I'll stop being a princess...for now.On-topic conversation and more overposting in threads when I get home.

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    Quote Originally Posted by iamanexit View Post
    I don't think I will ever get into buying/making gear. Seems like a very expensive hobby!
    Buying gear can certainly get expensive, especially if you're going to start buying higher-end, but so far, making stuff has cost me almost nothing. Granted, I'm an amateur at it, so I'm not using top-shelf materials. I'm using my poor-art-student learnings to scrounge. I probably would have been the guy in a Nazi POW camp who made a secret radio out of a tin of coffee and the camp kommandant's lapel pins.

    Also, alternate title welcome. I for one like the word "freaky", but I get where you're coming from icklekitty!

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    "Alternative Sexuality" makes me think non-binary. Non-binary makes me think of Jiz Lee. Jiz Lee makes me think of naughty, wondrous things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aurelius View Post
    "Alternative Sexuality" makes me think non-binary. Non-binary makes me think of Jiz Lee. Jiz Lee makes me think of naughty, wondrous things.
    I love you.

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    I don't know what that is, but it sounds messy. I'm in.

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    I've been questioning my level of kink lately. I sometimes feel like i've become slightly more standard with my sexual fantasies. Which is bullshit to be honest, because i haven't actually even been fantasizing or masturbating or watching porn. It happens maybe once a month at this rate...
    But sometimes i do question how much i really "need" to be involved in all the heavy duty bdsm stuff that i used to so readily fantasize about, to be able to have a satisfying sex life. I guess only time and experience will tell!
    For now...i'm outta here!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fixer808 View Post
    I don't know what that is, but it sounds messy. I'm in.
    *Who* they are.


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    I'm VERY in now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    I love you.
    I love you too! I was just coming back to post a pic but you beat me to it.

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    My classmate told me about when she was a kid and her brother would tie her up to a chair with rope. I got such a kick out of that. My God. My warped mind started wondering whether this childhood experience planted the seeds of some unreleased desires within her. I would very gladly tie her up now that she's all grown up. Then a couple weeks ago, we somehow got on the topic of how she used to make videos with her brothers and how once she had played a damsel in distress and her brother tied her to bedpost with rope. My mind was imagining her in her current form tied to a bed post and ya... she's the subject of my full perversion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by halloween View Post
    I've been questioning my level of kink lately. I sometimes feel like i've become slightly more standard with my sexual fantasies. Which is bullshit to be honest, because i haven't actually even been fantasizing or masturbating or watching porn. It happens maybe once a month at this rate...
    But sometimes i do question how much i really "need" to be involved in all the heavy duty bdsm stuff that i used to so readily fantasize about, to be able to have a satisfying sex life. I guess only time and experience will tell!
    For now...i'm outta here!
    I'm sort of in an similar situation. Except that I want to get a little kinkier with my spouse, and he is like "hell no!", so I find that to be more in tune with him, I have to shut off some of my kinky tendencies. Which is upsetting me. He's not into me being the dom in a BDSM situation, (although he doesn't mind me spanking him a bit). So I guess I'll either ease him into it slowly, or forget about it at all.

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    I have a coffee date on Thursday with a lovely girl I met at fetish night on Saturday. She's also into the possibility of introducing friend into the mix, as both are interested in exploring kink and friend is shy. We'll see where this goes.

    Also, Noir Fetish Ball this upcoming Saturday. I'm turning into a bit of a partier this last 6 months, ever since I got back from SDCC!

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    WARNING: Any links here will be NSFW

    For me, my fetishes are more about the psychological aspect than any fancy toys. At the last London Fetish Fair, there was an incredible workshop by a dom who demonstrated how he could make his clients cum just by tapping the air in a certain way or saying a certain word. The leader of the London munch wrote this really interesting essay about psychological domination. I love the idea of having that amount of trust in someone that you're able to let go completely. Because of this, my sexual preferences are an extension of a connection with someone, rather than a thing that needs to happen for me to get off. And it fits so perfectly with the rest of my beliefs and lifestyle.

    While ETS has been down, a lot of one on one chat with members has revealed that I'm not the only one that's into this, and it's refreshing to talk to someone outside of a designated environment that doesn't titter or isn't all "omg teh kinky secks" while being unable to assume the role. Other people are plain surprised and assume I would be the dominant person in a relationship.

    There are a few websites that pretty accurately illustrate what I'm into. I'm a huge fan of kink.com and channels like The Upper Floor (even aesthetically) and Public Disgrace are definitely my sort of thing. This probably describes my ideal relationship - before I came across the video, I had already planned things like this, and came very close to doing it for a boyfriend's birthday once. I'm not really into tumblr, but I've found their D/s oriented feeds really interesting. This is probably my favourite (one time she posted a Kylie photo and I pretty much lost it).

    And fetish clubs (which in many ways couldn't be more different to "sex clubs" - I've had lots of those conversations with laddish types too). Well, I live in Vauxhall, and you've all seen my wardrobe. Music being such a huge tie to my life, my favourite one is Antichrist because, unlike places like Torture Garden (don't go, it's just a fashion show) the music is more interesting than that "doof doof" stuff that is the least sexy thing in my mind. I'll be getting round to visiting Club Rub next month - I'm quite interested to try their grope corridor. I've heard that fetish clubs in the US are much tamer. For one, you're not allowed to take photos of punters at ours.


    Anyway, I'm off to google Jiz Lee.

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    You might like this book. The author, who unfortunately died recently, was an expert in psychological dominance.

    http://www.amazon.com/Forked-Tongue-...3875359&sr=1-1

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    For me, my fetishes are more about the psychological aspect than any fancy toys. At the last London Fetish Fair, there was an incredible workshop by a dom who demonstrated how he could make his clients cum just by tapping the air in a certain way or saying a certain word. The leader of the London munch wrote this really interesting essay about psychological domination. I love the idea of having that amount of trust in someone that you're able to let go completely. Because of this, my sexual preferences are an extension of a connection with someone, rather than a thing that needs to happen for me to get off. And it fits so perfectly with the rest of my beliefs and lifestyle.
    I agree with this so much. Chemistry is the key ingredient that makes any kind of kinky activity really special. It doesn't really even have to be love, but an innate understanding of each other. I know of people who have play partners who are really just FWB, who would probably tell you the same thing. My ideal arrangement would be to have one person at the center, but with room for both of us to explore with others, outside of what we do with each other. I could never bear the idea of cheating on a woman I love, but I equally can't bear the idea of total and utter monogamy because my pervy brain just cannot allow it. I almost fell in with someone who was exactly as kinky as I was, but couldn't comprehend what my goals were and it all went downhill from there.

    But right now, for personal reasons, I'm just going to put it all aside for awhile and be a bystander. I've engaged in so much kink that didn't have those qualities and felt like I was feeding an addiction rather than finding what I was really looking for, that I'm afraid if I do more of it it will all feel just like a waste of my time, and I end up doing what my mother wishes and find a nice Christian girl to marry and find Jesus.

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    Went to Fetish Valentines party on Saturday, but didn't really stroll through the dungeon for whatever reason. It was a good time, though! Met a girl who might want to hire me to do a photoshoot for her, dressed up as the Devil (pics to come) and badly bruised my shins in a go-go cage dancing to INXS. AWESOME!

    Also, last time I went, I got put in a straightjacket. Those things are no joke!! I'm not all that into being restrained, so we took some photos at the picture booth and then I used my safe word! XD

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    Has anyone here heard or read of the 50 Shades books? I read this article and found it fascinating that it had quite the vanilla audience, reaching an almost Twilight-esque popularity with housewives and young women. Maybe it's just being selfish, but I kinda yearn for the days when BDSM seemed to be hidden away from the culture with only a select few people in the population who have a real understanding of it. That said, this kind of fictional treatment of it seems to be making it more mainstream, and worse yet more hetero.

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    Quote Originally Posted by onthewall2983 View Post
    Has anyone here heard or read of the 50 Shades books? I read this article and found it fascinating that it had quite the vanilla audience, reaching an almost Twilight-esque popularity with housewives and young women. Maybe it's just being selfish, but I kinda yearn for the days when BDSM seemed to be hidden away from the culture with only a select few people in the population who have a real understanding of it. That said, this kind of fictional treatment of it seems to be making it more mainstream, and worse yet more hetero.
    I look at it this way. BDSM is ever-evolving. You probably first connected to the BDSM community through the Internet, like I did. That vastly changed the landscape of the scene. Also, mass-media images have for decades been chipping away at people's perceptions -- how many kids who grew up watching TR's videos are to some degree desensitized to BDSM and more accepting of it as a legitimate expression of sexuality? The "old days" you're yearning for are probably days that someone else is lamenting.

    What's wrong with more people knowing about, accepting and even participating in BDSM? We still live in a time when an employer can fire you if they find out you practice S&M. Where children can be taken from their parents. I welcome greater acceptance and understanding. I welcome a time when people don't have to bury their sexuality to keep or feed their family.

    I never practiced S&M because it was dirty or made me an outlaw. I practiced S&M because it felt like it brought me closer to my authentic self, and connected me to people who I felt a strong, spiritual kinship with. An old friend said going to events felt like "going to church." There have always been people who treat BDSM like a swingset -- they're climbing on for a little adrenaline and a fun time. It's nowhere like church for them. It's like recess. You don't have to be too smart to suss them out. And you don't have to pay them any mind. If tourists ruin someone's kink, they probably didn't have a very good footing to begin with.

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    My preferences confuse a lot of people in the scene. They find it hard to wrap their heads around a sub that looks like a Domme and isn't into pain.

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    You're an enigma!

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    Pah, not really. Be tattooed evil in a suit, call me names, tie me up, slap me about a bit, degrade me, make me serve/worship you, then force me to do things in public.

    *sigh* true love.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessamineny View Post
    What's wrong with more people knowing about, accepting and even participating in BDSM? We still live in a time when an employer can fire you if they find out you practice S&M. Where children can be taken from their parents. I welcome greater acceptance and understanding. I welcome a time when people don't have to bury their sexuality to keep or feed their family.
    Absolutely nothing. And I'll admit the original post I made wasn't as well-thought out as I'd hoped, but I'm always weary when it enters the public conscience through what's possibly a very dull series of books that make us all out to be broken people. And I get very self-defensive and righteous when people who clearly have no understanding of it plainly use words like abuse and misogyny when describing something so near and dear to my soul. Like this discussion about the book's popularity, especially the comments from Dr. Drew.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by onthewall2983 View Post
    Absolutely nothing. And I'll admit the original post I made wasn't as well-thought out as I'd hoped, but I'm always weary when it enters the public conscience through what's possibly a very dull series of books that make us all out to be broken people. And I get very self-defensive and righteous when people who clearly have no understanding of it plainly use words like abuse and misogyny when describing something so near and dear to my soul. Like this discussion about the book's popularity, especially the comments from Dr. Drew.

    It wasn't THAT long ago that the below-referenced book was on a WHOLE LOT of bookshelves. It was seemingly *everywhere*. Even us teens read it. We didn't GET it, but we read it. Christ, my MOM read it.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_of_O

    Dr. Drew, well, he's just Dr. Drew, he always says stuff like that. EVERYTHING is somehow linked to being abused as a child. If you're addicted to sugar, you were probably abused as a child. Listen to what the other two female experts on the show are saying, which is much more positive and "meh, yeah, whatever."
    Last edited by allegro; 04-01-2012 at 02:41 PM.

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