This is the most oppressively chaotic and stupid movie I have ever seen. It is just dense with retardation and spastic over the top nonsense. It basically goes out of its way to be bizarrely cheesey and stupid. I am impressed by the sheer amount of swinging moving flashing transforming explodiness that this thing is.
Impressively, everyone of this movies far too many characters is some kind of cheap empty stereotype. All of them. Michael Bays magnum opus of racial stereotyping is a Samurai Transformer constantly spouting japanese cliches, who really has no place in the movie anyway, since the character never does anything.
About halfway through the movie, an action sequence takes place that is incredibly difficult to grasp. The motion and the flashing and the exploding is so rampant that it totally distracts you from the fact that the entire set up doesn't make sense. The robots are on some spaceship transformer thing.... the humans are trying to rescue a woman on it... she's being licked by some alien thing.... that's not a transformer, is it?... the swords are guns? ... the space ship is attacking chicago for some reason.
The blonde's sole purpose in this movie is to have villains forcefully press her head against the ground from time to time. The movie is carefully constructed so that you could easily understand any isolated 30 seconds of it, this way you don't have to pay attention to most of it, and why would you. Until, of course, one of the robots starts riding a giant, robotic, two headed pterodactyl.
The cast is composed of actors who know better and cheap imitations of actors who did. Every line is delivered as though the actor were reading it on the spot.
This is like the pinnacle of hilariously bad movies. It is at all times hilariously bad and every scene is dense with stupidity, but it is 3 fucking hours long so even if you and your buddies are drunk enough and are into this sort of thing, it is constantly pushing it's luck after the first 90 minutes. It's as though Michael Bay felt challenged to out Michael Bay himself and then he went Super Saiyan and pushed it through the fucking roof.