Transformers: Age of Extinction

[kel]

Man I had no idea this thread existed and I've never seen anything related to transformers ever. I think I have some catching up to do.

you aren't missing a thing, tony. they're terrible movies.

[Wretchedest]

A few pages down, Videodrome has zero replies. And while were comparing to Chinatown, it doesnt even have a thread. Chinatown. Everyone loves Chinatown, its fucking perfect.

[Archive_Reports]

Seems strangely relevant given the last @Hazekiah post: http://gizmodo.com/there-are-strange...and-1742207135

[hellospaceboy]

(Oh, and I'm guessing @hellospaceboy might get a kick out of this too, lol.)

You were right, this is brilliant!

[kel]

@tony.parente , they're just noisy, long, insipid messes not worthy of ANY dissection, regardless of your feelings for haz. you'd be better off chewing on tin foil for three hours. promise. pinky swear, even.

[Shadaloo]

@tony.parente, if you're gonna catch up on Transformers and have a hankering for something that pays decent lip service to the old cartoon, doesn't take itself too seriously, and is just plain fun, I'd say to go right to the 2007 Transformers Animated show. It was written with care. Got cut short in the third season but they managed to wrap everything up nicely.

[Hazekiah]

So for those of you who don't know, Michael Bay's interview in "Rolling Stone" last December broke the news that he was returning for TF5 and already working on shots for it with ILM. Earlier this week we also learned that Isabela Moner was cast as a young girl whose only friend is a small Transformer, too.

But, as they've ramped up the production to begin actually filming (mostly in Detroit and London), we also learned today that one of the sites they have their eyes on is Stonehenge!

Sooo excited for this, especially since it plays RIGHT into the knighthood theme examined in my my essay on the previous page!

Well, possibly, at least.

Here's the post I just made about it in my thread on the subject:

Man, I still have a LOT more to say about all this and keep meaning to tweak the OP and add some stuff, but I've been living on the road since I wrote this and tour-chasing and life in general keep getting in the way.

Someday!

In the meantime, there's been a pretty cool development today regarding the knighthood theme found within the Transformers films. And I do mean that in the PLURAL sense, since the whole motif of knight-based design elements for the Transformers themselves began with Sentinel Prime, as revealed within the bonus features for TF:DotM, which is particularly of interest since he himself may have been a Cybertronian knight like his successor was revealed to have been in the following film.

But I digress.

As many of you may have noticed, the news broke today that TF5 has not only been scouting for filming locations in England, but specifically at STONEHENGE.

And so the plot thickens!

Intriguingly, one early, fictional accounting of the building of Stonehenge, by Geoffrey of Monmouth from his 14th century book Historia Regum Brittaniae, was that it was built by none other than Merlin himself and that King Arthur's father was buried inside its ring.

Of course there's no real way of knowing for sure exactly what their plans are for Stonehenge, but the very fact that they plan to film there at all would seem to suggest that the exploration of the knighthood theme from the previous two films is set to continue apace with the fifth!

OMFG I CANNOT WAIT.

Also of interest, and potential relevance to this discussion, is the lingering mystery of how exactly the massive blocks of Stonehenge were moved there and erected by ancient man. In fact, Merlin himself was said to have enlisted the help of "giants" in the task, an illustration of which from the same book by Geoffrey of Monmouth happens to be the earliest known depiction of Stonehenge, as seen below.

So.

Anyone wanna bet those giants who built Stonehenge will soon turn out to have been from Cybertron???

XD

[Hazekiah]

OMFG YES

\m/ -___- \m/

[ManBurning]

Phew, I was starting to think old Haz died when he didn't rush to post this news the second it dropped earlier this week.

[october_midnight]

Phew, I was starting to think old Haz died when he didn't rush to post this news the second it dropped earlier this week.

More importantly though, you said you were done with this steaming turd of a franchise. Will they still sucker you out of your money once more?

[ManBurning]

More importantly though, you said you were done with this steaming turd of a franchise. Will they still sucker you out of your money once more?

No man, I am totally done with this crap this time. They ain't gonna get me this time around. That 4th one was my breaking point.

[Shadaloo]

<Obligatory post mentioning how these films are a blemish on an otherwise thoroughly enjoyable franchise>

[Hazekiah]

Personally, I think the movies are HANDS DOWN the very best part of the franchise. Well, the movies AND some of the better engineered toys, that is. Most of which themselves come from the movies! Nothing else within the franchise even comes CLOSE to measuring up, as far as I'm concerned.

And you might want to rethink skipping Transformers: The Last Knight. They've gotten pretty serious about establishing the Transformers Cinematic Universe of interconnected sequels, prequels, and spin-offs and taking things to the next level with their SUPERBLY curated writer's room.

For instance, this next movie is written by the two guys who wrote Iron Man and the guy who WON AN OSCAR for his screenplay adaptation of Black Hawk Down, ffs!

I mean...GODDAMN.

O_O

[kdrcraig]

I like these movies well enough but they're far from the best thing in this franchise. That's insane. Transformers Prime is way fucking better than any of these movies.

[Shadaloo]

<Obligatory post about how Trasnsformers: MTMTE is not only the best Transformers comic ever written, but is one of the best comics on the shelves today period>



I'm kind of hoping the boxes on boxes of discounted TF4 BluRays and BVS's lukewarm reception will be a good sign of things to come for TF5. And by that, I mean I hope it fails miserably and the movies are put on ice for a good decade and then rebooted with a completely different vision.

It'll probably coast along on Chinese audience numbers though.

But I'm skipping TF5 just as I skipped BvS. Maybe I'll watch it someday, but only when I don't have to pay a damn cent to do so. The days when I gave money to a franchise I love because it's a franchise I love are behind me.

[Hazekiah]

Well, the movies stalling out after TF:TLK obviously won't be happening. Paramount and Hasbro are committed to continuing the continuity till at least as far as 2025 as it stands right now, and with the wealth of awesomeness and talent coming from the writer's room summit orchestrating the sequels, prequels, and spin-offs...well, it doesn't exactly look like things will be slowing down or rebooted anytime soon!

XD

I like these movies well enough but they're far from the best thing in this franchise. That's insane. Transformers Prime is way fucking better than any of these movies.

Glad to hear you enjoy the movies AND TF:Prime! They happen to be two of my favorite iterations of the franchise myself. Which stands to reason considering the obvious aesthetic influence of the movies upon the show and the fact that the writers of the (first two installments of the) former are also the producers of the latter.

I actually got a HUGE kick out of all the fanservice winks & nods in TF:Prime. Not to mention the KICKASS 3D animation and AMAZING voice talent! Plus, the action and lore were both REALLY well-handled and the toys were pretty fucking cool, too. Hell, I was never really a TRUKK NOT MUNKEY kid even though I didn't really get into TF:Beast Wars/Machines back in the day, but even I can admit that the 3rd season switch-up from TF:Prime to TF:Prime Beast Hunters was actually pretty cool, too.

But, for MY money, nothing beats the live action movies.

Call that "insane" if you must, but as I see it, they're pretty much the pinnacle of the franchise to date.

Sure, the IDW comics are great. Sure, TF:Animated and TF:Prime were great, too.

But NOTHING ELSE from the franchise measures up against live-action, 3D, life-sized IMAX Transformers melting your fucking face off with TOP-OF-THE-LINE CGI, a SEVERELY boundary-pushing PG-13 rating, raunchy-ass humor, TONS of fan-service, INSANE character designs, the BEST voice acting ever, more sexual innuendo and symbolism than you can shake a stick at (so to speak, lol), and HOLYFUCKINGCHRIST absolutely balls-to-the-wall BADASSMOTHERFUCKING ACTION that simply CANNOT be beat.

I'd NEVER shittalk TF:Prime...but I'd take the live action movies over it ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

XD

[Shadaloo]

But NOTHING ELSE from the franchise measures up against live-action, 3D, life-sized IMAX Transformers melting your fucking face off with TOP-OF-THE-LINE CGI, a SEVERELY boundary-pushing PG-13 rating, raunchy-ass humor, TONS of fan-service, INSANE character designs, the BEST voice acting ever, more sexual innuendo and symbolism than you can shake a stick at (so to speak, lol), and HOLYFUCKINGCHRIST absolutely balls-to-the-wall BADASSMOTHERFUCKING ACTION that simply CANNOT be beat.

Sorry dude, but I'll take stories that cover time paradoxes, parallel dimensions, examinations of causality, the treatment - rehabilitative, behavioral, cruel and unusual, or otherwise - of war criminals, PTSD, depression, isolation, examination of gender and relationships in a robotic species, political intrigue and corruption, space horror, unethical experimentation, snarky British sitcom-style humor, Orwellian surveillance and punishment any given day over what you've listed.

[Hazekiah]

Hey, that's cool...Transformers is Transformers, right? Like I said, the comics are great, too. I just prefer the movies, but I'm a massive comic geek, too. It's all good and IDW is DEFINITELY kicking ass!

It's worth mentioning however that the movies themselves are stories which cover causality, war criminals, PTSD, depression, isolation, political intrigue and corruption, space horror, unethical experimentation, snark, and Orwellian surveillance and punishment, though.

And speaking of brits and the ongoing development of my essay about the knighthood theme in the movies...

Annnd they've
OFFICIALLY CAST
AN ACTUAL FUCKING KNIGHT
in TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT.
Welcome, SIR Anthony Hopkins!!!

O_O

[Hazekiah]

OMG I JUST FELL IN LOVE
WITH A GIRL ON FOX NEWS.
o_O

http://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/ari...56668277-story

I'm in LOVE with that girl in the news report. Kaylee? Hell, I bet she's the one who told them the cop car was Barricade. She is TOO fucking awesome!

She knows her Transformers factions, she's a superfan, we own the same Optimus Prime piñata, and we even posed for pix with the same standee, lol.

[Shadaloo]

It's worth mentioning however that the movies themselves are stories which cover causality, war criminals, PTSD, depression, isolation, political intrigue and corruption, space horror, unethical experimentation, snark, and Orwellian surveillance and punishment, though.

Quite a few of these scenarios that are actually present in the films are just sort of touched on rather than being central themes, the way I'm talking about in the comics.

I'll absolutely grant unethical experimentation re what was done to Ratchet and Megatron in the last film, but:

-We can't have space horror until we've actually used space as a proper setting and legitimately terrifying and suspenseful shit happens on screen, and these films never spend more than five minutes outside the stratosphere (can't wait for OP to come back from space in TF5 so we can set the whole thing on earth again and and continue to completely ignore the interstellar and space travel aspects of the franchise, by the by); further to this the spookiest thing I've seen in these films was the sight of a flight attendant eating a Hostess ding-dong that rolled on the floor for absolutely no discernible reason.
-When I say Causality, Optimus ruminating on how responsible he is for the war coming to earth is a pretty far cry away from time travel shenanigans, situations like people setting out to stop an event and instead making it happen. Causality just isn't an ongoing theme in these films.
-Political intrigue I'll also grant, the shenanigans with Nixon and the moon landing, but IIRC corruption isn't an aspect of these films at all. Just the usual tinfoil-hat-wearers-are-right-and they're hiding the truth scenarios, people acting shady behind the backs of an unaware populace, etc.
-While I'm here, could you give me your examples of PTSD, depression, or isolation being used as central themes and/or for character exploration because I have seen not one case of any of these in these films, or I don't remember them.
-Orwellian surveillance I could also lightly grant for S7 showing up in the first film, but in general they just make the viewer aware that, yes, men in black are running around and "yeah, we know everything". And that too is a pretty far cry off from actually using unwitting Cybertronian citizens' eyes as cameras to spy on the entire general populace, or replacing their heads with blank screens to deprive them of the ability to speak out against their shadowy overlords.



(Now that, to me, is horrifying)

[Hazekiah]

Yeah, the cheap-ass comics that come out every month or so with paltry-ass print-runs definitely have more time and storytelling real estate within which to develop plot and character elements as opposed to the movies that cost roughly $200 MILLION DOLLARS each and only have TWO HOURS every few years to get their story across. Don't get me wrong, I love comics (Transformers comics ESPECIALLY!)...but it's STILL a bullshit comparison.

And space has been used frequently in the movies. From the AllSpark intro to the arrival of the protoforms to Soundwave as a satellite to the Nemesis on Saturn to the Cybertronian War intro to the Decepticons on the Moon to the Cybertron-through-a-Space-Bridge scene to the Creators arriving to exterminate dinosaurs and Optimus soaring off to engage them. ALWAYS A FACTOR.

Hell, with the adventures of Optimus in space for the sequel it looks to be even MORE of a plot point than ever before!

And the flight attendant ate the Ding-Dong as a FUCK YOU to President G.W. Bush, fwiw.

As for the issue of causality, Optimus is actively engaged in STOPPING the war brought to Earth by Cybertronians. Kind of a central theme, actually.

And how can you legitimately claim that political "corruption isn't a part of these films at all"...? Cemetery Wind, for starters! Not to mention the moon conspiracy stuff, which I'll grant you in return.

Annnnd onward towards the theme of PTSD. Have you even SEEN Transformers: Age of Extinction? Optimus Prime's character arc REEKS of it.

Orwellian surveillance? The same movie literally has GIANT billboards asking you to report alien activity and a whole scene discussing the pros and cons plus the lethal repercussions.

But ANYWAY. Back to the knighthood theme.

Transformers: The Last Knight just hired Sir Lancelot from "Merlin," lol.

>_>

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHSfP9EAIi_/

[Shadaloo]

Yeah, the cheap-ass comics that come out every month or so with paltry-ass print-runs definitely have more time and storytelling real estate within which to develop plot and character elements as opposed to the movies that cost roughly $200 MILLION DOLLARS each and only have TWO HOURS every few years to get their story across. Don't get me wrong, I love comics (Transformers comics ESPECIALLY!)...but it's STILL a bullshit comparison.

Not in the least. Two hours of movie time has been more than enough to develop characters and tell a spellbinding story across basically the whole of cinematic history from beginning to end. In two hours, Capra's It's A Wonderful Life has George Bailey going from despondent and suicidal to having a renewed lease on life. That's just one example out of millions. I cannot for the life of me think of a single character aside from Sam Witwicky or Optimus who gets any character development whatsoever across four films, and what they get is sparse. I've seen single issues of comics pack enough punch to fill a film. And for what it's worth, Watchmen was adapted into a two-odd hour film, it had to cut a lot of shit out, and it still managed to do justice to most of its cast for all of its failings IMO.

And I have no idea where you're coming from with spiteful remarks about cheap-ass comics with limited print runs. Or why you think the budget of a film has any impact on storytelling quality. A talented enough filmmaker can entertain with a camcorder and little else.

And space has been used frequently in the movies. From the AllSpark intro to the arrival of the protoforms to Soundwave as a satellite to the Nemesis on Saturn to the Cybertronian War intro to the Decepticons on the Moon to the Cybertron-through-a-Space-Bridge scene to the Creators arriving to exterminate dinosaurs and Optimus soaring off to engage them. ALWAYS A FACTOR.

I'm going to take this moment to remind you we're talking about "space horror" = wherein gruesome or terrifying things happen with the setting being outer space. Nowhere did I say "space isn't a location" - it absolutely is for some scenes. What I said was that space horror is not present of any of these films because we DO NOT SPEND LARGE PORTIONS OF THE PLOT OUT THERE WITH SCARY SUSPENSEFUL SHIT HAPPENING, dreading the monster around the corner. See Alien for the classic example. None of that is happening here. Horrors that come from space do not equal space horror.

Hell, with the adventures of Optimus in space for the sequel it looks to be even MORE of a plot point than ever before!

Bet you anything he comes back to Earth in the first half an hour talking about shit he found out there and we spend the next two hours dreading the coming of whatever the fuck. We already know they're filming in Cuba. The day a Bayformer film completely takes leave of Earth for the duration, I'll eat my own goddamn head.

And the flight attendant ate the Ding-Dong as a FUCK YOU to President G.W. Bush, fwiw.

A better fuck you would have been to serve it to him. Her eating it made no fucking sense.

As for the issue of causality, Optimus is actively engaged in STOPPING the war brought to Earth by Cybertronians. Kind of a central theme, actually.

Optimus ruminating once in a while on how responsible he is for bringing the war to Earth and his own guilt are insufficient material for causality to be considered a theme in any of these films. That's tantamount to my arguing that Sam's parents are a theme because they show up a few times per film. In order for something to qualify as a theme, it needs to be a central, driving aspect of the plot. The notion OF causality has to be such an aspect and has to be explored in depth; e.g. Back To The Future. By your standards causality would be a theme of every single film in existence; because 'cause and effect'. Optimus does wonder about his responsibilities, but he's not going back in time or anything to try and fix anything, so no, it's nowhere near enough to qualify as a theme, much less a central one. Sorry.

And how can you legitimately claim that political "corruption isn't a part of these films at all"...?

There's not enough focus on the political side of things to matter. You show me Cemetery Wind and I show you another shadowy black ops group come about as a result of shady dealings - which I'd argue would qualify if we got to see those dealings put in practice in the first place. See...black ops agencies and military squads, the efficiency of the US military against aliens...I could give you those as themes frequently explored in these films.

Annnnd onward towards the theme of PTSD. Have you even SEEN Transformers: Age of Extinction? Optimus Prime's character arc REEKS of it.

Referring you again to my earlier comment about it needing to be a central, driving aspect of the plot. Optimus hiding out at the start of TF4 and feeling backed into a wall would be a good start...but the film doesn't explore it. He's back to his usual self an hour later. He's not having any nervous breakdowns or even beginning to show signs of a fractured psyche. Optimus' typical war-weariness isn't anywhere near the same thing; the character needs to be totally fucked up for it to count, to put it bluntly and indelicately, and it has to actually affect the plot. No, sorry. There's no PTSD in these films, much less as a theme.

Orwellian surveillance? The same movie literally has GIANT billboards asking you to report alien activity and a whole scene discussing the pros and cons plus the lethal repercussions

That's...not the government aggressively and invasively spying on its own people, that's homeland security being given carte blanche to go apeshit.

[Archive_Reports]

I like these movies. *shrug*

[Wretchedest]

Not much interested in the movie so much as I am interested in how it will revitalize this thread

[october_midnight]

Damn, was that awful. This Polygon article destroying it made me chuckle. Pretty much spot on.

[kdrcraig]

Not much interested in the movie so much as I am interested in how it will revitalize this thread

Haz is gone so I wouldn't expect much. Trailer looks bad but I'll probably catch it on $5 Tuesday

[Self.Destructive.Pattern]

Haz is gone so I wouldn't expect much. Trailer looks bad but I'll probably catch it on $5 Tuesday

He get banned??

This movie looks like all the rest... I would really, really like a reboot of this franchise at some point down the road (We all know it will happen) with just Autobots and Decpticons. Get the human mumbo jumbo out of the way, and there can be something really special there. I'll see this eventually because despite of how awful these movies are, they're still entertaining.

[thevoid99]

I ain't watching that trailer. Fuck Michael Bay.

[fillow]

http://www.providermodule.com/forum/...he-Last-Knight

Reader's discretion is advised.

[thevoid99]

http://www.providermodule.com/forum/...he-Last-Knight

He has got to be delusional.