What makes somebody a good person?

[Halo Infinity]

I've been thinking about this my entire life, and would like to know your beliefs and opinions on what makes somebody a good person. After making so many posts about my flaws and what makes me a bad person in The Mental health thread, and checking out the Things you say that make you realize you're a bad person thread, it really has occurred to me to make this topic. I thought I could just shake it off, but I've always thought about it for as long as I could remember. I suppose any advice on how to be a better person and make amends can be appreciated and be of great use here. I also thought that this thread could be sort of a positive spin from those other threads I've mentioned.

To me, a lot of it seems to be based on self-control. And for me, I still need to work on it as I've had poor control on my emotions and thoughts from time to time, as I also believe that your emotions and thoughts also say a lot about you as a person. This also doesn't seem like a simple matter of common sense sometimes, because anger and spitefulness can get the best of us, and we end up saying things we shouldn't say, or don't even mean. It's also possible that arrogance and pride can have a lot to do with it as well as I've also been guilty of making jokes that were anything but friendly and respectable in the past.

And this is definitely easier said than done, but avoiding to do anything that requires forgiveness also sounds nice, but I could obviously see why it would never be that simple. And speaking of forgiveness, I can see why that would also make you a good person, especially if you're able to sincerely forgive without any discrimination, while having empathy, mercy, and compassion. However, I also have my share of trust and forgiveness issues. At my core, I've always wanted to get even, but I see why you'd have to be above those types of thoughts and feelings in order to be a good person.

Anyway, I just thought I'd like to see what people thought about this question, and it's also about all the big, small, and everything else in between in regards to what could or should make a good person. It seems like this overall topic of conversation can certainly and hopefully go a long way here. It doesn't seem to be that simple to me. And these were only just a few random ideas I had, as there's surely a lot more than can and should be covered, as it really seems to be a very broad subject.

[playwithfire]

I think liking people also ties into this.

Years of working retail has made me capable of some thoughts about my fellow humans that are are pretty spectacularly insensitive + spiteful. When it comes to whether or not I "like" people... I have a hard time with that.

Humans do so many wonderful things, but they're just capable of being so shitty. Even nice people are frequently selfish and crappy towards strangers.

[Ryan]

Don't be a cunt.

Follow that and you can't go wrong.

[Lew]

kris, that is fairly subjective...but personally i believe that following, as best as one can obviously lol, the simple rule: harm none, is what makes somebody a good person.
then there is the theory that loving yourself and being kind to yourself leads you to be loving and kind to others.
don't get me wrong, i have a godzilla sized cunty bitch inside, but i battle her and try and keep her muzzled.
i really believe that people drastically underestimate "kindness" as a desirable trait in society. the societal unconscious seems to view kindness as weakness and cruelty as strength.
also, unless you really do love yourself and are kind to yourself, it is hard to maintain kindness in the face of the harshness that can be thrown at you.
i am currently trying this mental trick when someone triggers my evil side: examine what it is about that person that is a reflection of what i don't like about myself. it really does help explain some of my strong reactions to people and situations. it also sucks, from a personal responsibility aspect. lol.
ultimately, if we can look outside of ourselves and not take things personally (ie: someone cuts you off in traffic then turns and give YOU the finger, instead of wanting to drive my car through their trunk and over their head and screaming at them...i try this: ok, maybe they are rushing home from the hospital and their child is sick and they are distracted and frustrated. it doesn't always work, but it sure beats the fuck out of being enraged or hurt and carrying it with me all day.
hope that made sense.
i really like the threads you start. they are always good for deep thought! thank you.

[Space Suicide]

I don't judge people on being "Good or Bad" as it's too cliche and black and white. Not a clear cut question and not one simply answered.

[aggroculture]

This is a good question. I've recently been told by various people, in various avenues, that being good, being a good person in your own private life, is not enough. That this is a passive position, and by not actively fighting evil/oppression/violence/brutality/meanness in the world, you are letting it happen, you are being a bystander. Politics twists morality, to suit each perspective: same-sex marriage, for instance. To me people who want to ban it (hello Indiana politicians) are evil and oppressive: but maybe to them gay people who want to get married are evil and will drag us all to hell. I think they're deluded, but maybe they'd think the same about me. I'm sure there were plenty of Nazis deeply convinced they were doing the right thing. There were also a bunch of shitty people and psychopaths on top manipulating those people, which brings the mental health angle in and the intersections between morality and in/sanity.

I think I agree that there is a duty to figure out what you believe is right, and then fight for it and that being a nice person in your daily life is not enough to make you good, though you mustn't forget that too. History is full of great figureheads for good who were shitty vile people in their private lives (Lennon beat women, Gandhi killed his wife, etc).

Does eating meat make you a bad person? Non-ethically sourced chocolate picked by slaves? Products from global sweatshops? Using companies that avoid paying tax and use offshore havens (Amazon)? Questions questions.

[themethatyouknow]

I would say, just not making everything about you.

[The_Prowler]

Referring to someone simply as "good" or "bad" is far too general and sweeping a term. I know/have known many people whom I would/do consider "good" who still have some pretty dramatic character flaws/sordid experiences in their past. If you said you didn't have anything in your life like that, I'd probably think you were lying or delusional. Then again, there are plenty of people that most would consider "bad" who have some amazing characteristics. I don't think it's truly possible to be simply "good" or "bad". There's far too much grey area for that.

Imagine this: say you meet the perfect guy or girl. The two of you hit it off, you worship the ground he/she walks on, and every single thing about this person is wonderful. They donate their time to good causes, they're always kind and courteous, they're always there for you when you need someone for absolutely anything, and generally seem to be the most perfect person on the face of the earth. Then one day you find out that this person shoots puppies with a BB gun for kicks. Do you still think they're a good person?
Now imagine that you meet a mass murderer, only to find out later that they also worked four jobs to pay for their terminally ill child's medical bills. Would you still think they're a strictly 100% bad person?

There's far too much ambiguity for it to be a simple matter of "what makes someone good or bad".

[Alexandros]

I don't judge people on being "Good or Bad" as it's too cliche and black and white. Not a clear cut question and not one simply answered.

There's far too much ambiguity for it to be a simple matter of "what makes someone good or bad".

So as not to get stuck in the "being good or bad" argument, I would suggest seeing the question more as "what qualities/behaviour work towards making somebody a better person".

In which case I really bust my head but can't find an answer that doesn't sound like those we've all heard a thousand times. I think most if not all of the answers to this have to do with behaviour that affects our interaction with others and our environment in general. Personal demons and shortcomings that affect only yourself do not subtract from...uuuh..."goodness" for lack of a better term. So my two cents are:

- Be considerate to your fellow men and women at least on a basic level. Of course, if you have the means and/or will to extend this from basic courtesy within your social environment to actual support of people in need then that's a plus. Maybe I'm setting the bar low on this, but it's a start.
- Recognise your flaws and try to minimise them/keep them under check. It is connected to the first point and goes back to what I said about flaws that actually have an effect outside you. And of course it opens a whole other discussion about what constitutes a "flaw".
- You could reverse the second point and try to recognise your strengths and apply them in a way that benefits someone/something other than yourself. As I am listing these points it becomes clear that "altruism" is a fundamental element in all of them.

As for our relation with nature in all its aspects, I think it requires a thread of its own.

[Halo Infinity]

I almost forgot to include this entirely, but perhaps being a responsible and productive member of society can also contribute to being a good person. They don't seem to be mentioned as much, aside from actual good deeds that are done with the right motives. I think it can also be based on both characteristics regarding personal accountability and accomplishments. It's interesting, because there have been some opinions, arguments, and beliefs that even go as far as to say that character is more important than one's accomplishments, but I tend to think that both can actually be equally important when it comes to determining how good or bad somebody is, as it also takes good character to make good decisions. (And yes, this is also including everything else "in between" good and bad.) But then again, a lot of this is also subjective, and can be subjective as mentioned, but it's another thought that occurred to me regarding this topic and question yet again.