there are a lot of folks in the trans community who advocate for buying a gun and learning how to shoot, but i will never do that. guns are disgusting to me and i just have no interest in ever touching one. i don't want to hurt/kill anyone.
i have a garter with a small knife that i wear sometimes, and i also have a self-defense keychain that i carry with me everywhere. i don't ever want to use them. but yeah, with the boiling point that seems to be nearing with anti-trans rhetoric and legislation, i am literally terrified that i'm going to get murdered.
my whole thing is that i've never really cared what people think of me; they can go suck a fuck. but when they ACT on those thoughts/feelings, and they want to hurt me (emotionally and/or physically), THAT'S when i care.
i've been sick the last three days and i can't say i'm not relieved that i haven't had to commute to work. despite how shitty i feel physically, it has been a weight off of me at least a little bit.
but yeah it's just baffling to me that anyone gives a shit about me simply existing as myself, not hurting anyone, just being a kind and caring person that likes to make others feel good about themselves.
i can't wait to get FFS in june and hopefully feel slightly safer out in public, but i fear for my trans siblings out there who don't have the resources to get it themselves, and will always be at risk.