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Thread: The Mental Health thread - depression, bipolar, ADHD, you name it

  1. #841
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    just keep losing and losing almost getting comfortable with being at the bottom no expectations for anything anymore

  2. #842
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steven View Post
    just keep losing and losing almost getting comfortable with being at the bottom no expectations for anything anymore
    isn't that really what you wanted now?
    (Sorry I couldn't help it. And I feel the same brotha. Hang on.)

  3. #843
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    Quote Originally Posted by elevenism View Post
    isn't that really what you wanted now?
    (Sorry I couldn't help it. And I feel the same brotha. Hang on.)

    haha just had a bad day but everything will be fine by tomorrow

  4. #844
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steven View Post
    haha just had a bad day but everything will be fine by tomorrow
    That's awesome.
    As for me, I will still be a rudderless bipolar junkie tomorrow. Good god, how I wish everything would be "fine tomorrow."

  5. #845
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    I read this while on vacation last week and I have to say it was both enlightening and depressing. I also have to say I did not know what it was about because I bought it a few months ago and it was just sitting on my kindle. Anyway. Wow, what a book. It's hard to review it because it's a product of time for me as the last two months or so have had me hitting the deepest parts of my depression ever so reading this was like reading a book someone wrote to me. (I'm not schizophrenic though so that part missed me by so far)

    The part that stood out for me the most is where Caden realizes that while his mental illness hit him, it also hit his family. It's certainly possible to lose yourself in your illness to the point where you forget about what it's doing to the people around you. It's hard to force yourself to see outside of what is happening to you to see what is happening to them.

    Did the book make it easier for me to deal with my depression? No. I don't think I can do that alone - especially for those times when I'm daydreaming about running into a bridge support doing 80 - but it did give me a chance to think about how it affects those around me.

    Also don't read this while you're supposed to be having fun.
    “The fear of not living is a deep, abiding dread of watching your own potential decompose into irredeemable disappointment when 'should be' gets crushed by what is. Sometimes I think it would be easier to die than to face that, because 'what could have been' is much more highly regarded than 'what should have been.' Dead kids are put on pedestals, but mentally ill kids get hidden under the rug.”

    “I used to be afraid of dying. Now I’m afraid of not living. There’s a difference. We go through life planning for a future, but sometimes that future never comes.”

  6. #846
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    I found this and thought it quite fitting






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  7. #847
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    I've got all this shit I need to take care of in the coming week and I'm just mentally overwhelmed and tired before I even start. And, it's petty or stupid but I'm worried I maybe messed things up with someone I have a crush on (not that I even know what to do with that but gosh I don't want to fuck it up preemptively), so that's also silly. And I'm worried about this one social encounter that may come up if I go to a thing on Tuesday, and my sleep schedule is all fucked and I have to do so much adulting. I even have a dentist appointment this week! Bleh.

  8. #848
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    I'm having a pretty grim fucking time.

    i was having these awful symptoms with like terrifying deja vu and phantom smells and, a couple of times, grand mal seizures. Everything points to temporal lobe epilepsy.
    But i was afraid that one of my psych meds was causing it so i stopped first one and then another, trying to find the cause.

    Now i'm all fucked up emotionally AND still having the weird symptoms.

    I go to see my psych lady on tuesday, but she told me i HAD to see a neurologist. in the time i was procrastinating going to the neurologist, i lost my fucking health insurance and there's no WAY i can afford EEGs and shit.
    So i don't know what i'm gonna tell her.

    But the way i feel right now: ugh. i don't wanna kill myself but i don't want to be alive either.

  9. #849
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    Quote Originally Posted by elevenism View Post
    I'm having a pretty grim fucking time.
    .......
    I'm sorry. I'd say go in anyhow, but I get it ...

  10. #850
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    It's been a little over a month since my attempt, and things have been going fairly well. Seeing a therapist and getting help with employment, plus being more open and honest with people, especially when depression begins to rear its ugly head again. Also back on medication, which has definitely been helping as well.

  11. #851
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    How long it took you to order meeting with the specialist? Was that question of years, of some breakdown,...? I mean ones with no-so-good-noticable mental illnesses.

  12. #852
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pillfred View Post
    I'm sorry. I'd say go in anyhow, but I get it ...
    I appreciate the response and, I agree and plan to get a neurological appt.
    Day before yesterday was SO fucking AWFUL with the terrifying phantom smells and hallucinations of like flashing lights: I was just certain I was gonna have another grand mal. The bullshit went on for 2 HOURS this time instead of a few seconds. I can't live this way!!!
    MAYBE the neurologist will just BELIEVE me about the symptoms and not require a battery of expensive tests and will just prescribe the motherfucking antidote (but this seems unlikely.)

    The whole thing causes a bunch of anxiety to go along with the anxiety I already have, and it's also depressing as fuck.I

    And I'm at a point where I'm wondering "why, God, why? I'm bipolar with psychotic features, AND I have God awful panic disorder, and I've recently experienced the emergence of OCD, and I'm like a born addict AND alcoholic...and now I have to have some strange form of epilepsy too? FUCK!!!"

    I'm well aware that it could all be much, much worse in a multitude of ways; I'm just fucking stressed about all of this, and honestly, I am...omg I guess I'm AFRAID. I am! I'm scared and I just realized it. I teared up a little when I realized it just now.

    Thank you guys who read this for taking the time and listening to me.
    I am so grateful for this part of the community and the way we at least TRY to help one another, even if it's just talk and listening, even if is just letting a member know they aren't alone.
    Last edited by elevenism; Yesterday at 07:21 AM.

  13. #853
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    yeah I totally agree with you, it's so awesome to have this support from people we have a mutual connection to, even if we don't personally know each other, and I think that makes it easier to open up just that little bit more than we would do, to family & friends offline




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