Page 26 of 27 FirstFirst ... 16 24 25 26 27 LastLast
Results 751 to 780 of 793

Thread: The Mental Health thread - depression, bipolar, ADHD, you name it

  1. #751
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    851
    Mentioned
    20 Post(s)
    Let me first start off by saying I'm loving life right now, I'm living my dream job, have a girlfriend who really loves me and I her, my family is in good health, and I'm taking my medication for my depression and ADD with no changes in medication, however, at night time I think to myself how happy I am, and what dreams I want to accomplish, yet I always end up thinking: "But I'm probably going to kill myself." I have no clue why,.. I don't like it.

  2. #752
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Hungary
    Posts
    876
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    My cousin took up Brian Tracy and his Hungarian version a month ago, because his girlfriend showed him. He went bonkers. We haven't talked in 3,5 months, so it was with great surprise to see how shallow, utterly dumb and incoherent he became. I was waiting for the "BAZINGA!", but it never came. He lives abroad, so the only 3 major influence in his life are:
    - his girlfriend, who showed him Mr. Tracy
    - his mother, who's suffering from midlife crysis, took up Buddhism, divorced and started tattooing herself
    - his simpleton father, who just nods to everything

    He made no sense. He could not put three sentences together, which followed any line of logic or pattern. He low-key mentioned thinking about suicide, but said that positive thoughts saved him. He continually contradicts himself. He has no vocabulary of his own. Now, he was never the smartest guy, but damn, half of his speech were just words from Brian Tracy put together terribly. Like, he kept talking to me about REAPING, but never explained to me what does it exactly mean. He took motivational quotes as his own. He told me a brave man expresses his feelings, to which I reminded him that I saw him liking the exact same motivational quote 2 days ago on Facebook.
    He never explained anything. I tried the calm approach, asking genuine questions about this shit, but he never answered. He just kept running and running and running. At first I was fascinated, I mean, how often can you say you are literally witnessing someone's mental breakdown, but it just never stopped. It was like he had a manic episode, which he deliberately kept up for a month now.

    He also had an extremely arrogant and condescending tone, which I don't even think he realized. He had many remarks that I can't understand this, but he is here to help, and it's okay to not get it at first; hell, he kept insisting me being skeptical is actually a great first step into this brave new world!

    He said he doesn't want to be a chef anymore. Something he was so adamant a year ago and practiced so much. No, he decided that he is a musician and he will make money from being a producer/dj, because being a chef is giving in to the system, and he is not giving into the system, because he reconfigured himself and now he understands everything...

    His father has a bad case of mental vulnerability, he is extremely fragile, and it was obvious even at a young age that my cousin is suffering from the same. Last year, when he was still sane, he told me that sometimes he feels like going mental under the pressure and he doesn't want to end up like his father. I told him to go to a therapist, but I don't know if he ever did. (edit: found the discussion on facebook from 2016. June: "This is how it's been for a while now, I'm fallen apart mentally. You get it? Any little incident and bam, I'm having a nervous-breakdown. I can't do anything with it Sometimes it scares me out a lot, and I am surprised by myself.")

    Words can not penetrate his bubble. I tried to play the nice guy, then I tried to be confrontational, but I had to realize that I can not speak with someone, who barely exists anymore. His vocabulary is nearly non-existent, and he even kept misusing those few words. Like, he talked a lot about logic and intelligence, but he had no fucking idea what logic and intelligence is, because none of those sentences made sense!!! In his barrage of re- and misused words - which is extremely uncharacteristic by him to begin with, and I know him for 21 years now, since that's how old he is -, there were remains of his old self, but if not for those little jokes here and there, I wouldn't have any idea who am I talking to.

    I'm not sure what to do. It's clear he can not be convinced, but I can't just say fuck off now, can I? In a year or two he will going to collapse, so I'd like him to know he can reach out to me then, before he actually kills himself, but I absolutely can't get myself to communicate with "him". Not only I feel like I'm enabling this idiocity, he lacks anything resembling of a personality, bar the few instances I mentioned. He is fucking happy for everything, he just keeps saying yes plus the accompanying empty words. I have deeper discussions with cats, to be honest.

    Anyway, I don't really have a question or a problem of my own, but maybe someone can relate. I don't know, just wanted this off from my shoulders.
    Last edited by Volband; 03-07-2017 at 02:41 PM.

  3. #753
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    North Herts, United Kingdom
    Posts
    675
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)

    The Mental Health thread - depression, bipolar, ADHD, you name it

    ok, just had my Lamotrigne upped, another 50mg, so now on 350mg of that and still taking 45mg of Mirtazapine (highest it goes)


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

  4. #754
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    212
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    I have an adverse childhood event (ACE) score of 4 or 5 depending on how I answer one particular question. Either way, it's high. All the events occurred in my home. In more layman's terms, it was an emotionally abusive home with occasional violence mostly not directed at me. It started young. I was reasonably smart and escaped into music and got to go to school for a long time, but my chronic depression and the financial necessity of moving back home made me become reliant on (addicted to) anti-anxiety medication, which I am slowly getting off of. It's been a rough life. I had a Dx of pure OCD but I think a lot of those harm OCD thoughts were just kind of due to repressed anger from my circumstances, and the symptoms have mostly faded.

  5. #755
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    North Herts, United Kingdom
    Posts
    675
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    OK yesterday I had an informal interview for a decide group, which I've been waiting months for. and today I was told I've been chosen as 1 of 12, who will take part in the group and learn new coping skills and and healthier wellbeing. it's a 16 week course, and I'm quite looking forward to it. even though the 2 women explained how the course runs, I'm still really not sure what to expect if that make sense.

    if anyone is interested in what a decider group is http://www.thedecider.org.uk/



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

  6. #756
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    North Herts, United Kingdom
    Posts
    675
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    started the decider group, only 10 of us showed up, but really not too sure what to make of it? yeah it's only the first session, i know, but i usually get a feel for thing first time off, also i went to school with one of the girls who attended too, this makes me feel very unsure too


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

  7. #757
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    hopefully grave soon
    Posts
    317
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Today I genuinelly wanted to swallow entire pack of sleeping pills. But then upon research I found out from at it isn't 100% reliable, got pissed about the fact. I dunno why, before suicide was like "Fuck, I will kil myself one day", I used to be terrified of the fact I had such thoughts, now it seems to be more like "I wish I had the guts to kill myself". I dunno, maybe stuff is pilling up and my mental state got worse and it is showing. I am still unsure right now about it, but I had my first moment today where I really just wanted to die.

  8. #758
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    6,425
    Mentioned
    320 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by HWB View Post
    Today I genuinelly wanted to swallow entire pack of sleeping pills. But then upon research I found out from at it isn't 100% reliable, got pissed about the fact. I dunno why, before suicide was like "Fuck, I will kil myself one day", I used to be terrified of the fact I had such thoughts, now it seems to be more like "I wish I had the guts to kill myself". I dunno, maybe stuff is pilling up and my mental state got worse and it is showing. I am still unsure right now about it, but I had my first moment today where I really just wanted to die.
    are you currently seeing a therapist? because you need to be. i'm not being rude, i want you to get the help you need. 1-800-273-8255 in the meantime, please call the national suicide prevention lifeline and talk to someone. i hope you're going to be ok <3

  9. #759
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    hopefully grave soon
    Posts
    317
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    are you currently seeing a therapist? because you need to be. i'm not being rude, i want you to get the help you need. 1-800-273-8255 in the meantime, please call the national suicide prevention lifeline and talk to someone. i hope you're going to be ok <3
    Not currently, but I definetelly plan on doing so, I have done so in the past though, I believe that with enough effort I can probably get better. Thank you for replying-

  10. #760
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    san fransisco
    Posts
    901
    Mentioned
    30 Post(s)
    i can only speak for me but after my stroke i went through some pretty sever depression which i guess is common as well as anger and other personality changes i found going to a stroke support group helped a lot i think being able to talk with others who are or have gone through helps, just having someone let you know they understand, i wish you all the best and if you need someone to talk or even vent to fell free to PM me
    -Louie

  11. #761
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    North Herts, United Kingdom
    Posts
    675
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)

    The Mental Health thread - depression, bipolar, ADHD, you name it

    Quote Originally Posted by HWB View Post
    Today I genuinelly wanted to swallow entire pack of sleeping pills. But then upon research I found out from at it isn't 100% reliable, got pissed about the fact. I dunno why, before suicide was like "Fuck, I will kil myself one day", I used to be terrified of the fact I had such thoughts, now it seems to be more like "I wish I had the guts to kill myself". I dunno, maybe stuff is pilling up and my mental state got worse and it is showing. I am still unsure right now about it, but I had my first moment today where I really just wanted to die.
    with my Borderline Personally Disorder, I've tried that way twice, and obviously it didn't work.
    it can fuck up yer liver quite good. most of the time you vom up if you down a large dose of meds. the first time I had to drink activated charcoal shake which had the consistency of a thick paint. which
    but I'm quite sure I'll try it again before my time is up!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    Last edited by InsecureSpike; 09-29-2017 at 09:42 AM.

  12. #762
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    16
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I think I've been either having some sort of mental break for the past week. Either that or I'm getting my feelings back after years of pushing them down. Either way, in the words or Rent & Stimpy's Mister Horse: "Nosir, I don't like it."

  13. #763
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    125
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    I have hypervigilance as a side effect of ptsd. I've been trying for 3 years to find a cure for it. I went through cognitive behavior for a while with limited success. It's exhausting because I am always on alert and am sensitive to every sound and sight. My heart used to beat all day long and I had shallow breathing. It also gave me a lot of bowel issues as I had intense stress. I am thinking of going back to counseling again since I am depressed about it.

  14. #764
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    hopefully grave soon
    Posts
    317
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    I genuinelly hate being autistic, I believe it is damaging my relationships.

  15. #765
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    2,631
    Mentioned
    88 Post(s)
    last week was pretty tough, the weekend too, and now this week is getting off to a grim start
    hope I can breathe a bit tomorrow!

  16. #766
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    6,425
    Mentioned
    320 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by aggroculture View Post
    last week was pretty tough, the weekend too, and now this week is getting off to a grim start
    hope I can breathe a bit tomorrow!
    :: big hug ::

  17. #767
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Posts
    2,022
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Finally bit the bullet and set up my first therapy session in a couple of weeks. My depression has lingered for years and years but I learned early on how to manage it independently. But over the last year and a half, I have finally truly spiraled out of control. I've been slowly losing hope in the world, and the way our current Government seems to be actively punishing us for simply existing, it's just really fucking destroyed my psyche. Yesterday I found myself literally wishing someone would smash in to me while I was driving. My lack of empathy and lack of motivation in general I think has finally hit a boiling point. I'm really scared of therapy for some reason, but I'm hoping this is the right call. I'm just tired of being numb to everything and sitting around waiting to die.

  18. #768
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,596
    Mentioned
    199 Post(s)
    I should have health insurance for the first time since 2012 starting in November, and I am so goddamn excited. I cannot wait to get back on Wellbutrin, dear god.

    Right now I am:
    - Working
    - Taking four classes (two of which you are not supposed to take together - Statistics and Advanced Research Methods, but in order to do my Capstone project next semester, they both have to be done)
    - Serving on the Governing Council for my school
    - Involved in a Leadership Academy that has weekly meetings and I have to do 200 volunteer hours by the end of the school year
    - This coming Thursday, I will be nominated and elected to the Student Association at my school, as they have a member who has not shown up
    - Looking at different grad school options and starting to narrow down my choices

    And all I want to fucking do is sleep. I have never had my schedule so packed. There is something basically every weeknight for the foreseeable future, and none of it is fun. I thought the show in Vegas would pump me up and get me motivated for the rest of the semester, but no. All this shit better pay off and get me into grad school, because I have never been this tired in my entire life. I've been putting off doing laundry for a solid week now. All I want to do when I get home is lay down. I am only home for about 7 hours each day during the week.

    Kill me.

  19. #769
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    3,596
    Mentioned
    199 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by aggroculture View Post
    last week was pretty tough, the weekend too, and now this week is getting off to a grim start
    hope I can breathe a bit tomorrow!
    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    :: big hug ::
    Same. You are so smart and funny, and I hope things start going better for you!

  20. #770
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    6,425
    Mentioned
    320 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by richardp View Post
    Finally bit the bullet and set up my first therapy session in a couple of weeks. My depression has lingered for years and years but I learned early on how to manage it independently. But over the last year and a half, I have finally truly spiraled out of control. I've been slowly losing hope in the world, and the way our current Government seems to be actively punishing us for simply existing, it's just really fucking destroyed my psyche. Yesterday I found myself literally wishing someone would smash in to me while I was driving. My lack of empathy and lack of motivation in general I think has finally hit a boiling point. I'm really scared of therapy for some reason, but I'm hoping this is the right call. I'm just tired of being numb to everything and sitting around waiting to die.
    it took me a long time to convince my wife to go to therapy. it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it just means that you need help figuring out how to navigate the world and yourself. the trick is finding the right therapist. if you find the right person, it will be extremely beneficial for you.

    i started therapy earlier this year for the first time in over a decade, and while i haven't reached my goal yet (being able to transition), it has opened up all these avenues about things i didn't even realize i needed to work through, and has been very helpful thus far.

    hope things get better, dude. i like you a lot and i don't want to see you so unhappy. <3

  21. #771
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    215
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    I’ve been blessed with social anxiety. I’ve had it for a few years now but only finally got help 4 months ago. I’m on Paxil now - 20mg and even that hits me hard sometimes. My stamina is shot and I get tired so easily but it’s better then been afraid to leave the house. It’s better than throwing up thinking about something that makes me uncomfortable. It’s better then breaking into cold sweats whenever I get a phone call from anyone. It’s better than shutting myself at home almost every day of the year when I wasn’t at work.. It’s better then having sleepless nights endlessly worrying about stuff that I shouldn’t be worried about. The catalyst for me to get help was at my uncles birthday where I got absolutely wasted. Prior to that I had been drinking to cope with social situations and family gatherings but I sort of had a moment of clarity the next morning - if I can’t be comfortable around my own family, what else is left? So yeah on meds now it’s helped a lot. I’ve been doing stuff a year ago I wouldn’t dream of doing. My family and friends have been incredibly supportive and every now and then I still have bad days but I’m not afraid of everything anymore.

  22. #772
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Northwest Indiana
    Posts
    1,768
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    My dog Jack has been sick this past week. He’s 12 now, almost 13, so I think every time he gets sick it could be the end (he’s a husky). He is pretty much my kid. I love him so much. And then my mind starts going, “Once he’s gone, there’s nothing keeping us here.” My friends and family all would be okay quickly if I went.
    Its been real frustrating knowing I’m doing the best I can, trying to be the best I can in all things, and still not getting where I want to be.

    And it’s not like I haven’t tried therapy (I end up being told I’m right to feel the way I do about various things in life but I’m not reacting in the most positive ways. Okay. Great. Tell me how I should react! I’ll try. But of course, I don’t get those answers). I’ve tried multiple meds that either don’t work or throw my stomach into hell.

    Sarah knows a little bit about this and we haven’t talked really in a few years. That’s how long I’ve been fighting this.

    I am exhausted. I am tired of this. Tired of life. This year has been horrific. Trump and his daily horrors. Daily pain due to neuropathy. Relationships I lost out on due to my body not working right and now that it’s working slightly better, it’s too late to rekindle. Then my grandfather and good friend died within two days of each other. Work is a political nightmare. I don’t feel safe or calm anywhere these days and what really sucks is that I don’t think anyone really cares.

    I know I’m just going through the motions. And again, when Jack goes, that might be it for me too.
    Last edited by Swykk; 10-24-2017 at 11:03 AM.

  23. #773
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    2,631
    Mentioned
    88 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    :: big hug ::
    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah K View Post
    Same. You are so smart and funny, and I hope things start going better for you!
    Thanks both. Sarah I hope you get some sleep: you're going places!

  24. #774
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Right here
    Posts
    1,674
    Mentioned
    115 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Swykk View Post
    My dog Jack has been sick this past week. He’s 12 now, almost 13, so I think every time he gets sick it could be the end (he’s a husky). He is pretty much my kid. I love him so much. And then my mind starts going, “Once he’s gone, there’s nothing keeping us here.” My friends and family all would be okay quickly if I went.
    Its been real frustrating knowing I’m doing the best I can, trying to be the best I can in all things, and still not getting where I want to be.

    And it’s not like I haven’t tried therapy (I end up being told I’m right to feel the way I do about various things in life but I’m not reacting in the most positive ways. Okay. Great. Tell me how I should react! I’ll try. But of course, I don’t get those answers). I’ve tried multiple meds that either don’t work or throw my stomach into hell.

    Sarah knows a little bit about this and we haven’t talked really in a few years. That’s how long I’ve been fighting this.

    I am exhausted. I am tired of this. Tired of life. This year has been horrific. Trump and his daily horrors. Daily pain due to neuropathy. Relationships I lost out on due to my body not working right and now that it’s working slightly better, it’s too late to rekindle. Then my grandfather and good friend died within two days of each other. Work is a political nightmare. I don’t feel safe or calm anywhere these days and what really sucks is that I don’t think anyone really cares.
    I care.

    You're in a bad place right now and the only thing you should concentrate on is yourself. One thing I've learned in this life is that if I don't take care of myself, nobody will do it for me. Same as you. I really believe you should reconsider therapy but first. I believe you need the right diagnosis about what is wrong with you. Then you can see how to deal with it. It's an unbelievably hard thing to do but it's so worth it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Swykk View Post
    I know I’m just going through the motions. And again, when Jack goes, that might be it for me too.
    No it is not. I absolutely believe you love your furry baby with all your heart and should it be his time to go, you would be devastated. I believe there are people around you who care about you but the place you are in right now prevents you from seeing it. Jack loves you and is devoted to you because he senses all that is good within you. That's what pets do. So the best thing you can do right now is to take care of him and to take care of yourself. Because you are worthy.

    *hugs everyone in this thread*

  25. #775
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    125
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Does anyone have experience with cognitive therapy and treatment (like being forced to face head on your triggers and stresses)? I am so bad now that I literally feel stomach cramps, sweat, get muscle pain, shallow breathing, etc when I go outside. It seems like even going to the treatment sessions will mess me up because I am going out. I was wondering if they could come to my place at first and slowly get me outside so I get used to it. I am so desperate for a better life.

  26. #776
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Slovakia
    Posts
    619
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    I know it's not easy sometimes, and there's no instant cure, but remember this?

    "Everything is awful and I'm not OK" (PDF link, or google for other formats) At least little help maybe.

  27. #777
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Northwest Indiana
    Posts
    1,768
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    @marodi —I appreciate your kind words.

    I took a break from ETS this past week. Jack is still not better yet but he seems to be on the mend.

  28. #778
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    125
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Today I made a little progress by finally going outside the house. I saw people, buildings, traffic for the first time in forever. It felt weird, like a world I knew was real but only became a dream inside my head since I refused to leave anywhere. I am glad I can face my problem head on. I still feel like a coward and failure for having this problem though.

  29. #779
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    pacific northwest
    Posts
    1,372
    Mentioned
    41 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ton View Post
    I still feel like a coward and failure for having this problem though.
    please don't. easier said than done, i know. sounds like you recognize how brave you are for making big steps. be proud and make a goal to give it another go for tomorrow or later in the week.

  30. #780
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    9,369
    Mentioned
    734 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ton View Post
    Today I made a little progress by finally going outside the house. I saw people, buildings, traffic for the first time in forever. It felt weird, like a world I knew was real but only became a dream inside my head since I refused to leave anywhere. I am glad I can face my problem head on. I still feel like a coward and failure for having this problem though.
    Don’t seek ways to beat yourself up; seek ways to build yourself up and self-advocate; what you did today is amazing progress. Pat yourself on the back. The world is FULL of people with issues. You aren’t alone in that. Keep your eye on your goals.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions