How fucked was your day?

[[parasite]]

ok, so i went to my appointment with my care-worker, this afternoon, got to the end of the hour session, and he says "i just have to touch on something before we wrap up for today", then he starts telling me he's moving.......
so now i have a great care-worker who is leaving in mid october time, and meantime i have to kinda decide if i'd like another one or give it a go with minimal support...
it's not really hit me yet, i'm sure it will over the next few days tho... not really looking forward to it......

[miss k bee]

In a very melancholic mood, very fed up and miserable. Coming off Paroxetine is a pain as well

[miss k bee]

Someone has taken in upon themselves to let their dog deliberately foul in front of the house on our driveway, once even putting it in little black bags and in our bin outside!. Wtf!! This just started recently. What the fuck is wrong with people!

[Jinsai]

The first synthesizer I ever bought (Korg Delta) has kicked the bucket.

It now sounds like nothing, but I've managed to pull some awesome stuff out of it in the past. I loved this synth. It died while I was trying to run various external CV mods into the filter, and I think it just blew up. I don't think this is even worth taking into the shop because they'll just tell me it'll cost too much to repair.

Goodnight sweet prince.

I at least have the final recording it made as it went into "OH FUCK I'M DEAD" mode.
WARNING: Drastic volume changes ahead, headphones not recommended.

https://soundcloud.com/jinsai/the-so...my-korg-deltas

[Fixer808]

Does it still turn on, and make noises like near the end of the recording? Because those sounded awesome!

[Jinsai]

Does it still turn on, and make noises like near the end of the recording? Because those sounded awesome!

I wish.... though it does still turn on, that's about it.

[Magtig]

RIP Korg Delta!

Not quite the same, but I once spent a ridiculous amount of time circuit bending what I called "A Priest's Worst Nightmare" (a Texas Instruments Touch and Tell). I added all kinds of switches, knobs and mods and it sounded fucking awesome! As I was making it I sampled the sounds, plenty of which wound up in the soundtrack for Modern Ruin. Sadly, and without explanation, it just stopped working. I can't even get the damn thing to turn on anymore.

[sentient02970]

I have to break my 11 year old daughters heart and tell her that her pet parakeet died while we were away on vacation. I'll wait until the vacation is over but this is going to suck.

[Dra508]

I have to break my 11 year old daughters heart and tell her that her pet parakeet died while we were away on vacation. I'll wait until the vacation is over but this is going to suck.

Geeze dude, I saw you posted in this thread and my heart skipped a beat - not in a good way. Don't do that! The kid will get over the bird. She's got you.

[Amaro]

I am not a doctor, but I am positive I'm having bladder and/or prostate issues...and I'm almost as positive that that's been the core issue for my general down-there malfunctions for a while now, whenever they've been present (frequent enough). If I'm right, well, I will feel pretty damn bitter towards my past doctors. I am already, honestly.

Gonna see about acquiring health insurance, before going to the doctor (pre-existing conditions in this great country).

[Pillfred]

Prep dude's wife had a baby yesterday, apparently no one bothered to come up with a contingency plan for said lack of prep. Mind you we have only 4 cooks atm. One is brand new... I think I'm done here.

[Dra508]

Gonna see about acquiring health insurance, before going to the doctor (pre-existing conditions in this great country).

So much for The Affordable Healthcare Act in your state eh?

[orestes]

Got up to go to work this morning only to discover that my vehicle got booted in the middle of the night because my parking permit wasn't "visible". So not only was I late for work but I had to pay the tow company nearly $100 to remove the boot, otherwise they would tow my vehicle within six hours.

Fucking bullshit. I am so done with this apartment complex and the management that runs it.

[Fixer808]

That's ridiculous. How non-visible did they claim it is and why the hell does the management not have a list on file of tenants' plate numbers so they can quickly check the list and go "Oh right, that's so-and-so in apartment blah-blah, she's allowed to be there, she has a permit."??

[orestes]

Because it happened at three in the fucking thirty morning! It's handled by a third party but management has given them a criteria to look for when inspecting parked vehicles. They're suppose to boot vehicles that have expired tags or a flat tire, too.

[Fixer808]

That's dumb as shit. Especially the flat tire thing. "Oh look, some unfortunate soul got a flat overnight GET THE FUCKIN' BOOT."

[sentient02970]

Holy messed up shit! You should not have to pay that! What the hell?

[Pillfred]

My buddies old landlord was tabs nazi. Told him that if he didn't get new tabs he was gonna tow his truck. This was like two weeks before they expired. Did the same shit about his ladies car as well. I don't know how big your place is but you would think after a while you would recognize the cars if the people who live there. Probably getting kickbacks from the tow company.

[theruiner]

So...my dad just died. Less than an hour ago.

Here's the (long) backstory:

I hadn't mentioned anything on here yet, but the last month has been awful. His left leg and foot had been swollen for months. He went to his primary doctor had looked it over and said, naw, nothing to worry about. Didn't send him for any tests. Didn't have any x-rays done. Didn't, apparently, even consider that it could be a blood clot (which, HELLO, is the fucking first thing you should be concerned about). She told him it was just poor circulation due to age.

Cut to a couple months later (a little over a month ago), his leg is still swollen and then suddenly his right leg swells. So at that point he finally decided to go to the emergency room. I took him in and, sure enough, he had a blood clot in his left leg that was just a ticking time bomb, just sitting there for months. His right leg just had fluid in it. But he had also been complaining that he had been extremely tired lately. He was saying he couldn't even walk more than ten feet without feeling exhausted. Also a bad sign.

Turns out he had anemia. This scared me because this EXACT same scenario happened in 2011. He went in with a swollen leg (it wasn't a blood clot then, though), they found out he was anemic, then they discovered why- stage three colon cancer.

Fortunately, they did surgery and were able to remove the cancer. But when they said anemia I was immediately afraid the cancer was back. Not only was it back, but it was even worse than before- stage four colon cancer which had spread to the liver. Over 60% of his liver was covered in tumor.

They admitted him to the hospital and a few days later he calls me in a panic. Something's wrong. He says he tried walking to the bathroom, five feet from his bed, and almost fainted. He said he felt like he was dying and he thought this could be it. I rushed down to the hospital, walked in and saw a nurse calmly helping him with something or another. "Oh, it turns out it was just dehydration." Except it wasn't. Later that day they did a scan of his chest and it turns out he wasn't exaggerating, and they were wrong about the dehydration- he had had a pulmonary embolism. The doctors were kind of amazed that he even survived that (especially considering how worn down his body was from the cancer).

After two weeks in the hospital he went to a skilled nursing facility, then back to the hospital (long story) then, finally, to a hospice. We were hoping that he would be able to do physical therapy to get stronger and then be able to do treatment (the doctor told him they couldn't do any treatment while he was so weak or it would probably just kill him). The cancer was incurable but treatment might have bought him some time, at least. The whole time his blood was being thickened by the cancer, increasing his chance of blood clots. They, of course, put him on blood thinner, but this only increased his chance of internal bleeding. It was a no-win situation.

Cut to the last few days since he went to the hospice (he got there Friday). It was very clear at this point that he wasn't going to get any better. On Sunday, my mom and I pulled the nurse aside in the other room and asked her, straight out, what kind of time frame we were looking at. I was expecting a month, maybe a couple of weeks. She said, "I think he's got a week left, maybe less." That was Sunday.

Monday was the last day I actually was able to have a normal conversation with him. When I left Monday night he was clear headed and told me he didn't feel like was close to dying. When I came back Tuesday afternoon (unfortunately I had to work, so I couldn't make it back until after I was off) he had done a complete 180. The first thing he said to me was, "They said I've got fluid in my lungs." I could hear it in his voice. He was also mentally not there. He kept repeating nonsensical things. He barely talked. It was an insane transformation LITERALLY overnight.

That was Tuesday. Yesterday morning I got a call from the hospice: "Your dad is unconscious and unresponsive. His breathing is shallow. You should probably get down here."

He never came out of it. My mom, brother and I spent the entire day yesterday by his side. It was horrible. They said he would probably pass yesterday, that it was just a matter of time. 11:00 PM came around and, after spending nearly 12 hours straight there, my mom and I decided we both needed to go home and get some sleep. My brother was going to stay until around 8 then I would come in and take over and he would leave to get some sleep.

That didn't happen. I finally got to bed at 12:30 this morning. My phone woke me up an hour and a half later. It was my brother. My dad's oxygen levels were going down. This was it. They said it would probably be a matter of hours.

I got over there, let my brother sleep for awhile, then he finally had to leave around 6 this morning. He had a bunch of stuff to do that couldn't be put off. I totally understood, told him I would stay there with dad. I held out as long as I could but I was starving. At about 10:15 I finally decided I needed to make a food run. I had to. I didn't want to leave but I also couldn't starve myself, either. I told my dad (even though he was unconscious, but you never know if they can hear you somewhere in there) that I was leaving and would be back soon. He was, for the first time in 24 hours, completely alone.

At 10:45 my phone rang. It was, of course, the hospice. My dad passed about 20 minutes after I left. Of course. The lady at the hospice place made a good point: he was probably waiting until we were all gone. Knowing my dad, he didn't want us to have to watch him pass. They even said, it's incredible that he's still here. He should have been gone yesterday. He should have been gone today. At two this morning they said it would be a matter of hours and eight hours later he was still here. Yet as soon as I left, within 20 minutes, he was gone. I sincerely hope that was his choice and not bad timing on my part, but I'll never know for sure.

Anyway, things are already moving. My brother and I are going to finalize funeral plans in a few minutes. There are things to do and no time to think right now. I haven't even let myself really cry yet. I've done a lot of crying the last month. My best friend has been there for me the whole time and I called and got her voicemail but when she calls back I am going to lose it. Actually, she's calling right now, so I guess this is as good a time as any to wrap it up.

Anyway, there's the last month of my life. He's gone now. At least he's at peace.

[icklekitty]

Fucksticks

[sentient02970]

@theruiner , I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad. My grandfather went the same way, waited until we had all left his side. I personally recovered from stage 3 colon cancer this year but am always fearful of that "coming back worse again" scenario that I hear so many times.

[aggroculture]

Very sorry to hear that theruiner.

[slave2thewage]

@theruiner - I'm so sorry .

[marodi]

First, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I'm very sorry about your loss.

I sincerely hope that was his choice and not bad timing on my part, but I'll never know for sure.

See what I did? You have a million things going through your mind right now but when things calm down, you'll come back to this thought. Now listen to the old lady who has had to watch her grandpa, grandma and dad die: it is their choice how they want things to go. Theirs. This was his choice because he thought that it was the best thing for all of you and for him also. Always remember that.

*hugs and love*

[Dra508]

@theruiner , so sorry for your loss. It's already been said, but I'll say it too: I have several family members who went the same way, after family has left the room.

Hospice nurse, what a vocation.

[[parasite]]

very sorry for your loss

[orestes]

Damn, ruiner, I'm so sorry.

[allegro]

@theruiner Yup, they're right about them often waiting until you leave, this has happened to me and my family several times. Holding vigil for so long is physically and mentally exhausting, maybe they sense that? I'm sad for your loss, but glad your dad's suffering is over and that he is at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[miss k bee]

Ruiner so sorry to hear about your loss. Condolences to you and your family.

[Frozen Beach]

I tried very hard to have a good birthday, but I couldn't. I've never felt more weak and nauseous in my life, and I'm not even intoxicated. I don't know if I caught a bug, or if it's because of my situation recently, but I feel like utter hell. Hopefully I feel better tomorrow.