Originally Posted by
pretty.hate.machine
Sounds like the headcase got what she deserved. Even though it was at times a hellish circumstance, I am sure watching the unraveling was somewhat chuckleworthy. And yes, I know exactly what it's like to have a boss like that. Anyway, thank you for your kind words and I'm glad your situation is looking up.
As for me, I'm just feel stuck in a hole. I'm one of those late blossoming adults and I spent my 20s partying, being a DJ, in and out of college, moving all over, experimenting with various relationships; you know, just living life. I work retail and I am an assistant manager at a cosmetics store. I stuck around because I kept getting promoted and I wasn't entirely sure what type of degree I wanted to invest in. I should have been a lot more forward-thinking and proactive, but I wasn't. But 7 years in retail, working with nothing but catty women 100% of the time, and equally shitty/dense customers is a soul sucking hell. I come home crying most nights because I hate the person who I've become. I am incredibly depressed and more negative than I've ever been, sometimes I feel like I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I have a prescription for an antidepressant medication that I need to get filled, but I am afraid to get back on that if I'm going to try to quit this job soon and be stuck with no health insurance... you can't just quit taking antidepressants abruptly. The worst part is I have to pretend to be someone I'm not, 'happy' to set the example since I'm a manager, when in reality I'd rather throw myself off a bridge. With all that I've said, it should be easy to walk away, but I make more than what some people with bachelors degrees make. I have full benefits, great PTO. The thing is, I never want a customer service job again, and there are not a lot of jobs out there for introverts who don't have a degree. So back to college really seems like the only option. Another issue is my widowed mom is financially unstable, so for the past year I've had to give her $400ish a month to help her out. So even if I wanted to go back to school full-time, I fear that my mom would end up homeless because she is super low income and disabled. We have exasperated every resource that could help her and they're just seems to be nothing out there for assistance, all of the low income housing waitlists are either full or closed in the city that I live in. Anyway, I might have to help her move back home where it's much cheaper to live, so at that point and gives me the perfect out and I can start trying to get something else going because you're right, nothing this agonizing is worth my sanity or health.
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