It's very simple!

We are loathe to exonerate rapists in any way, but nonetheless cannot neglect our duty to prepare young girls for the world.

The way of striking this balance is ;

You commit to educating young girls about drinking responsibly and keeping their wits about them.

If a rape happens, the emphasis shifts entirely to blaming the rapist. It is now too late to lecture the victim. Continue educating young girls about the dangers they face. But culturally, we NEED to start treating rape & rapists for what they are, as a society our disdain is simply not strong enough, culturally or in terms of legislation and punishment (I speak as a resident of the UK, but about the western world generally).

Culturally an awful lot of people don't think it is that big a deal. They know it's a big deal and they can sort of empathise, but in their heart of hearts they don't think it's that bad. These rape apologists reinforce the culture that enables the rapist & denies the victims proper justice.

Whether this sense of priority is correct all depends on whether you think young girls' tendency to cut loose and party is a more grave issue than a tacitly rape-permissive culture