Drugs! Thread!

[TheyCallMeDrug]

low levels of xanax (.25mg) are fine from my experiences. usually made me more tired than anything. theyve helped keep anxiety at bay for me that could have spiraled into panic attacks.

[Rdm]

I wouldn't say that Xanax is "insanely addictive," it's not crack or meth. I took it for a year (Rx) then stopped, no big deal, you have to take a LOT of it to get dependent on it (or any Benzo). It's an anti-anxiety medication and of all the Benzos, it's pretty strong. My Mom is used to Valium and I gave her one of my 10mg Xanax and it was like she was totally drunk. My dog, on the other hand, was prescribed 10mg Xanax and it made her more wired. Xanax was the only drug that turned off the incessant chattering in my head when I had way too much shit going on and a shitload of anxiety. But then I discovered melatonin and that put me to sleep pretty well, too, so bye bye Xanax.

I think its different for everybody. I had a dark period with benzodiazepines, 10 years ago, and I was extremely addicted to them, specially Xanax. When I got off them it took me around 6 extremely bad months to get where I was at before, it really screwed my brain chemistry for a very long time. What started this addiction, for me, was a 5 day benzo-binge, I took a good amount of Xanax, it was 30 1 mg tablets in 5 days. Two days after I started having some rebound symptoms, extreme anxiety attacks,uncontrollable shaking that led me into my xanax addiction that went on forever. I would strongly discourage you not go down that path unless you desperately need them. Some people can get away with it, but I wouldn't even chance it.

Just FYI Xanax comes in .25 tabs, .5ms, 1mg tabs, 2mgs bars. if your dog had 10 mgs he would be a dead dog = (. It sounds like you had a pleasant experience with them. Melatonin works for me too, but whats weird is if i take too many melatonin it stops working. Medication is weird and it scares me, which is kind of strange for me to say that.

[allegro]

I think its different for everybody. I had a dark period with benzodiazepines, 10 years ago, and I was extremely addicted to them, specially Xanax. When I got off them it took me around 6 extremely bad months to get where I was at before, it really screwed my brain chemistry for a very long time. What started this addiction, for me, was a 5 day benzo-binge, I took a good amount of Xanax, it was 30 1 mg tablets in 5 days. Two days after I started having some rebound symptoms, extreme anxiety attacks,uncontrollable shaking that led me into my xanax addiction that went on forever. I would strongly discourage you not go down that path unless you desperately need them. Some people can get away with it, but I wouldn't even chance it.

Just FYI Xanax comes in .25 tabs, .5ms, 1mg tabs, 2mgs bars. if your dog had 10 mgs he would be a dead dog = (. It sounds like you had a pleasant experience with them. Melatonin works for me too, but whats weird is if i take too many melatonin it stops working. Medication is weird and it scares me, which is kind of strange for me to say that.

You know, sorry, you are probably right, I may well be mixing up the 10 mg Valium with the Xanax, I'm not home so I can't look at the dog's Rx but it was the same as mine, a long skinny football-shaped salmon-colored pill. I just googled the peach footballs and they are .50s.

I used to take 2 to 3 mg melatonin per night to sleep but then I started worrying about potential memory problems (and I am on Topamax for migraines so I don't want to make that worse) so I went off the melatonin, too. I used 5 mg melatonin but it made me dizzy. Medication scares me, too. Now, I use meditation and other holistic relaxation methods, including reading, and cyber-free times before bed (no light) etc. to "wind down" and other methods that work with my migraineur brain and it's the best I can do because I'm afraid of fucking up my otherwise fucked-up memory, LOL. Being in a loud room is like being inside of a teapot or a tub full of drunks, noise is times 100, smells are times 100. Migraineurs have hypersensitive brains, sensitive to all senses, sound, smell, touch, etc. Topamax (topiramate) is known as "Dope-a-max" because it makes you forget words you mean to say as you say them, which is really frustrating so I don't want to take or do anything that can make that worse. (Topamax on-label is given to epileptic patients for seizures.)

I think personalities have a lot to do with whether or not they can become dependent on certain drugs; I was never much at risk for "downer" type drugs because sedatives don't interest me much; I had more of a dependency risk with the opposite direction: SPEED. So people should take a good analysis of themselves and their own personalities. Obviously, if they are getting street drugs it's going to be a different story regarding dependency. @Xvostya spends a lot of time in the Drunk Tank thread and booze and Benzos don't mix well unless you wanna be ETS's most popular Vegetable.

[kel]

i had a problem with that stuff, too. specifically meth. good thing i lost my hook ups to a huge round of stings at 23. thank fucking god because i love my teeth. i'm a big guy now (and i fully embrace that), looking back at pictures from that time ... yikes.

on melatonin -- most people take it wrong (not you, allegro). doctors recommend like 3mg's tops, and many think taking more will increase the effects or speed them up (spoiler alert: it usually doesn't). i don't take it anymore because it exacerbated my sleep walking, but it's a fantastic way to get past occasional sleeplessness.

[allegro]

on melatonin -- most people take it wrong. doctors recommend like 3mg's tops. i don't take it anymore because it exacerbated my sleep walking, but it's a fantastic way to get past occasional sleeplessness.

Really? That's good to know. I used to take only about 2 mg but one day I ran out and they only had 5 mg at the store so I figured, "what's the difference?" But I had dizzy spells and it gave me what I thought were terrible side effects so I gave up on it completely.

Speed, back in the '80s we used to get "Christmas Trees" and "Black Beauties" for a buck a hit and, OMG, what a great way to diet, and speeding along with your scalp tingling and just spinning, holy crap, I'd take that over being sleepy on downers any day. But, alas, I'm too square to go further than buying more than 4 hits of speed from the coke dealer in a month, heh. Then I thought, shit, I don't want to turn into the Movie of the Week so I stopped. And I never did coke because I thought I'd like it SO much, I'd end up that person selling all her furniture and losing her job.

Sleep walking, man, I sure am glad I don't do that, that's some scary shit!! My little brother used to do that, too!

[kel]

i've *woken up* in the shower more times than i can count.

on with the dope show: wtf are poppers? i always hear that they're rampant at dance clubs, specifically gay dance clubs, but i've never seen them or been offered any. nowadays if i go out i order diet coke so of course i'd decline, but where are they? how have i avoided them for 15 years (since legal bar/club age)?

[allegro]

Back in the day when this here straight girl was dancing at straight and gay clubs in the late-70s thru early-80s, poppers was butyl nitrate, little bottles of liquid that was sold OTC as "air freshener" but had names like "BOLT" and "CUM." Real poppers was amyl nitrate that is in pill ampule form and you broke the ampule open and inhaled the contents but nobody had that shit (it was for cardio patients). I never did butyl but my friend Julie did once and she immediately puked all over the bar and filled the ashtray, LOL.

Anyway, I remember walking into clubs and the smell of poppers was SO thick, and for some reason it made everything smell like peanut butter to me.





Edit: Here, see this, hilarious

[TheyCallMeDrug]

so anyone know about rosin? well here's how it goes...

you take about 1.5g of nugget and you put it between folded parchment paper. then you get a hair straightener and a squeeze clamp and when the straight iron is up to 230 then you squish the bud in the parchment paper and squish it down with the clamp. the bud oozes out rosin and you can dab that stuff straight up. yield usually sucks but you can get some incredible home made dabs off of it with barely anything needed.

[Baphomette]

Back in the day when this here straight girl was dancing at straight and gay clubs in the late-70s thru early-80s, poppers was butyl nitrate, little bottles of liquid that was sold OTC as "air freshener" but had names like "BOLT" and "CUM." Real poppers was amyl nitrate that is in pill ampule form and you broke the ampule open and inhaled the contents but nobody had that shit (it was for cardio patients). I never did butyl but my friend Julie did once and she immediately puked all over the bar and filled the ashtray, LOL.

Anyway, I remember walking into clubs and the smell of poppers was SO thick, and for some reason it made everything smell like peanut butter to me.





Edit: Here, see this, hilarious

You just made me gag. That stuff was HORRIBLE. Rush, Locker Room... *gags again* And the migraine that followed... *gags third time*

[elevenism]

low levels of xanax (.25mg) are fine from my experiences. usually made me more tired than anything. theyve helped keep anxiety at bay for me that could have spiraled into panic attacks.

i am prescribed 3mg a day for panic disorder and generally take 2.
when i was young dumb and full of cum i took like 180 legally obtained mg in ten days and then stopped abruptly, which gave me an awful, long seizure.

I was pretty sure that i had a handle on my xanax...like no one in my family has to monitor it for me these days like they do the oxy.
But i'm starting to wonder...that seizure i had a couple of weeks ago...i wonder if it was a xanax seizure. i'm pretty sure that i didn't take it for a couple of days before the seizure, because i didn't need it, but as i have been taking it this way for like 4 years now (slightly lower dose for 6 years before that,) i'm thinking that it was the likely culprit-like i have to take them even if i don't need them.

It's DEFINITELY a double edged sword. In addition to being bipolar, i have severe panic disorder, like omg- i'm- gonna- die -type-attacks PRETTY goddamn frequently. Well, good old alprazolam nips that shit in the bud, but i fear i am showing signs of long term addiction.

[elevenism]

Okay so we have some actual barbiturates in the house now.
i took some with a handful of xanax, and i was sitting at the computer and then just pitched forward and smacked my face on the computer table.

it was pretty goddamn funny. i haven't felt that way in awhile, being pretty much kurt cobain maxed out on opiates and pretty well immune to benzos as well.

i'll have to eat these thing sparingly.

[allegro]

You're walking the Elvis line, there, Bud. You'll be lucky to make 40.

[elevenism]

perhaps @allegro .

but it sure doesn't feel like it. Tolerance is a motherfucker.

[elevenism]

like, my mom is 58, and she is on an absurd amount of fentanyl, @allegro , and has been for a long goddamn time, alongside benzos and such, and she's fairly healthy.

opiates aren't really that bad for you. don't quote me on that, but i think it's true.

They just get a bad name (ie literally almost half of the people i love are dead from smack) because they are so addictive and produce respiratory depression.

They aren't like, you know, toxic, and i don't like, get "high" at this point, you feel me?

you know what? it actually kind of sucks now that i think about it.
It's slavery.

[allegro]

like, my mom is 58, and she is on an absurd amount of fentanyl, @allegro , and has been for a long goddamn time, alongside benzos and such, and she's fairly healthy.

opiates aren't really that bad for you. don't quote me on that, but i think it's true.

They just get a bad name (ie literally almost half of the people i love are dead from smack) because they are so addictive and produce respiratory depression.

They aren't like, you know, toxic, and i don't like, get "high" at this point, you feel me?

you know what? it actually kind of sucks now that i think about it.
It's slavery.

And longtime use of painkillers has a whole shitload of side effects that are really bad, not healthy. We already discussed the osteoporosis. You said you took a "handful" of Xanax and then some barbiturates. That sounds like Elvis fun, to me, not for any useful painkilling and anxiety. Not good for your heart, your gastrointestinal system, your bones, your liver, all kinds of things long term. Yes, it's slavery and that's why no good doctor recommends it. See also this.

There just should be a healthy concern and respect about the use of these drugs, especially considering studies re Hyperalgesia.

[elevenism]

@allegro before this i drank like a fish. like to the point of having withdrawal seizures for years.

And i got out of that and i KNOW i have to do something about the pills at some point too.

But it's so fucking hard. I'm just wired this way.

Trust me, i understand that no good will come of it, but i honestly don't know how to operate like the rest of you at this point.

i like have to be on a certain amount of this or that to do anything productive, and i don't know how to change that.

[elevenism]

And also, i LIKE to eat handfuls of xanax. in fact, hells bells, i might eat a handful right now! i'm not trying to hide that.

[elevenism]

@allegro i feel what you are saying, and of course i deeply appreciate it.
I didn't think i'd ever pull out of the alcoholism, but sure enough, i did it.
i sincerely hope that one day i will be able to like function normally without all this bullshit.

I will be straight up here. It's like this: i use fentanyl (which isn't prescribed to me) and at first it was lots of fun. i won't say where i get it but i'm sure you can imagine. there is still fentanyl left in the patch when it gets thrown away/
Then i broke my back and i NEEDED it, along with the 90 mg of oxycodone they prescribed me.
But now i don't just need it for pain. I am only functional when i am on it. I get it every 48 hours. So i am functional for like twelve hours and then go through this cycle of coming down and then withdrawal for the next 36 hours.
The oxy takes the edge of for a few hours.

I don't really know how to get out of it, unless i get hold of some suboxone, cowboy up and throw the AA steps at it. Tis how i quit with the suicidal drinking.

It sounds like you have been through similar circumstances, what with the 8 or 9 shots a day, and emerged unscathed, which is quite encouraging.

I KNOW this is going to have to happen, but naturally, i am fucking terrified of it

That's what's really going on. That's what the score is for me.

[elevenism]

And for anyone casually reading this, fucking steer clear of fentanyl, for real.
It makes even oxy not work anymore.

[allegro]

@elevenism , the first step toward recovery is acknowledging that you really need to do something about it. Any addict will "need" drugs for just about fucking anything; a stubbed toe will require pain meds. And AA isn't the only way, there are medical doctors who can work you through a slow system of weaning you off of the drug along with counseling and you can teach yourself to be strong. Seriously, a hefty dose of perspective along the way is usually all that's needed. You wanna know how I did it? My brother was dying of AIDS. My quitting anything was fucking NOTHING compared to that, and I knew it and it gave me perspective and it changed my life.

Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip being diagnosed with incurable brain cancer at 52 where he KNOWS he's gonna fucking die and he has a wife and four kids at home? Honey, THAT is something to fear. THAT is perspective. But, he decided to GO ON TOUR, to say goodbye to fans and try to do some real lasting good with the time he had left.

What did FDR say? The only thing to fear is fear, itself?

We can easily create this safe bubble of fear where it's cozier for us to stay fucked up on [insert source of addiction here: drugs, gambling, doughnuts, booze) than actually have to FACE the withdrawal and the discomfort. But you want discomfort? Every time you think you have discomfort, think of Gord Downie and his knowing that he has months to live, with 4 kids and a wife at home. Then buck up and be strong and say, Hey, I can face fucking anything, vs. leaving kids and battling brain cancer or all of the other horrible battles that make my battle seem like such a fucking small little battle where I'm lazy and want the status quo, surrounded by enablers. Do you want a life worth living, or do you want to simply "exist" in a cloud of cushy high nothing and then die early? The choice is yours. But in the end, my mom used to sum it all up as our ultimately being faced with a question: Which way will you go? The Devil on your shoulder filling your ear full of your standard excuses. And we often just say "FUCK IT" and take the easiest way out. Or we will do the right thing? The thing that may be more difficult, but it's the right thing.

Look, there is NO REASON why you should have back pain after a fucking YEAR, except that you have done no other treatment other than overdo your pain meds, which causes the above-referenced Hyperalgesia. You didn't do any physical therapy, you have zero additional muscle training to assist your healing, your muscles are probably, in fact, atrophied (the opposite); my 78-yr-old mother in law had three compression fractures in her spine ... SHE WAS SEVENTY-EIGHT .. OLD PEOPLE HAVE A LOWER PAIN THRESHOLD, but she hardly ever took the Oxy because she said it didn't do shit for her pain and her fractures healed in around 4 months. You? It's been a year for you, but you have the body of an 80-yr-old man. You are FAR older than your years, already. You've had TWO SEIZURES of unknown origin in the last year. You are on a very very bad track, here, dude. I hate to be Debbie Downer but I am not an enabler and I am trying to help you. I really do hope you stop making all these excuses and actually do something. It won't be NEARLY as bad as you've made it in your head.

I feel kinda weird discussing this in a public arena and especially in the RECREATIONAL drug thread but I considered that you broached it first and considering that Prince died from Fentanyl (the latest reports is that they found it in an Advil container so evidently it wasn't prescribed), maybe this should be public? Dunno. Your situation certainly is not RARE, that is for sure. I went through it with my own baby brother. My best g/f is going through it right now with her little brother (he is 50 and is hooked on Oxy from a back injury at work 15 years ago and the docs want him off of it but he ain't listening and keeps going to different docs but all are giving him the same answer and he's so fucked up on drugs he can't even drive anymore so my friend is driving him all over the fucking place and her husband is calling her an enabler).

[elevenism]

i appreciate it.
I obviously SEE the corner that i've painted myself into here.
i also realize that we are an insanely adaptable species.

i just have to fucking suck it up, which i will do at some point in the probably fairly near future.
i'm just WAITING to fail a drug test with fentanyl in my system, which will lose my my oxycodone and make me utterly dependent on getting someone to do something she doesn't want to do, on my schedule, and she isn't going to go for that shit.

And i'm not even gonna bullshit you with the back pain excuse, because, although i DO have really seriously bad back pain, that's obviously not the reason that i want to eat these drugs.
I am completely fucking mentally and physically addicted, and no more good is going to come of it. It's just psychic pain and physical discomfort, then relief, in a cycle, over and over.

Getting off of it isn't even the tricky part. I know precisely how to do it. I just need to drive to Lubbock and get a bupronorphine scrip and use that to taper. I did it when i formed a smack habit that my then-girlfriend wasn't too crazy about.
It's the STAYING off part that will be hard, and for that i probably will have to be an AA again. Like i said, it's just flat-assed how i'm wired. If i can't have dope, then i will drink until i feel better, even if i'm drinking fucking hand sanitizer.

So yeah.
The time is coming.

And thank you @allegro , sincerely, for forcing me to confront this shit at least mentally.

[Sarah K]

Writing a song called Adderall and Alcohol.

[TheyCallMeDrug]

finally got decent slabs of shatter in nyc area. getting moxie next weekend *ive got my fingers crossed*

edit: patron silver and dabs til the sun comes up

[elevenism]

i would like to allow that this talk of 10mg xanax pills, @allegro , you mean ONE mg xanax pills. The bars are 2mg, then the footballs are 1mg or .5 or .25 .

I just thought that needed to be pointed out in case someone reads this thread and thinks to herself "well fuck, these bars are only 2mg. I better take at least 5 of them!"

10mg of xanax gets ME fucked up, and that's saying something there

2mg will get the casual/first time user fucked up as a soup sandwich.

Now VALIUM, on the other hand, is available in 10mg tablets and that seems to be a pretty common dose. 20-40 mg of valium will get you pretty goddamn -high for awhile. 100mg will get you fucked-up-out-of-your-mind-memory-erased high.

The most important thing with theses drugs is to only take a little bit at first. This is the sort of drug where if you get hold of a lot of it, you may find yourself in bed with your best friend's wife, or like, just suddenly "come to" with a beard and a new pair of shoes in a different week. Large quantities WILL cause blackouts. Oh, also, it is a good idea to only allow oneself access to what one plans to take, because you WILL keep thinking you "aren't high" and keep taking the fuckers, or forget how many you took, or even that you took them.

So everyone, be goddamned careful with recreational benzo use.

Edit: sorry, i didn't see that this had already been mentioned, but it doesn't hurt to mention it again.

Now. What in the fuck is a "swirl?"

[allegro]

i would like to allow that this talk of 10mg xanax pills, @allegro , you mean ONE mg xanax pills. The bars are 2mg, then the footballs are 1mg or .5 or .25 .

I clarified that already in a later post.

And, docs these days don't automatically give out the 10mg (blue) Valium, either; they give out the yellow 5mg. The good doctors are avoiding the benzos a lot (malpractice).

[elevenism]

I clarified that already in a later post

as i mentioned in my edit, but when i thought about it, it doesn't hurt to mention it twice. Tis why i left it.
There are always like 10 of us here and 90 people watching.
and some of them are kids with access to mommy's purse.

[allegro]

as i mentioned in my edit, but when i thought about it, it doesn't hurt to mention it twice. Tis why i left it.

You said: "i didn't see that this had already been mentioned"

But you didn't say what "this" referenced and you had a whole lot of stuff packed into one post, there.

[elevenism]

You said: "i didn't see that this had already been mentioned"

But you didn't say what "this" referenced and you had a whole lot of stuff packed into one post, there.

my apologies. i will fix it.

[allegro]

my apologies. i will fix it.

No, this thread fixes it.

Look, kids always have access to Mommy's anything; pain killers, anything. So Mommy needs to watch her own medicine cabinet (and booze bottles).

[elevenism]

I clarified that already in a later post.

And, docs these days don't automatically give out the 10mg (blue) Valium, either; they give out the yellow 5mg. The good doctors are avoiding the benzos a lot (malpractice).

in my day, we got the blue ones from mexico, for like 10 cents apiece, all you can fucking eat. Yee-haw! :P