Sexual Abuse/Assault in the News

[joplinpicasso]

‘Mansplaining’ is a necessary word.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining

Isn’t this exactly what Bill Maher does in this segment? Glosses over Minnie Driver’s experience (and other’s experience) despite the fact the a) he’s never experienced it and b) wasn’t there.

If my use of that term offends you, then yes by all means, do not engage. However, i am using the term correctly.

Re: what I said about the court of public opinion. People who have been victimized don’t need their experience questioned and judged by random ass people who have no experience with assault and trauma. It isn’t helpful or supportive to say “at least you didn’t get raped”. Ranking or degree doesn’t make the thing that happened to them any less shitty. Like at all. Degrees only matter for punishment so that the sentence fits the crime.

What purpose could social ranking of assault serve? All that does make shitty people like Louis CK feel better about themselves and think their actions are less shitty than they actually are. “At least I’m not a rapist”.

Thanks for linking the Wiki page on mansplaining and including that very nice and academic definition for posterity (I'm guessing). My disagreement with the term doesn't come from an unfamiliarity with it. It's a silly term which is analytically and philosophically reductive, not to mention conversationally toxic, IMO. You're using the term correctly but I think the term is not correct.

As for your other thoughts, I do think there is a deeper disagreement here on the philosophy of suffering. It's been historically difficult to measure pain, suffering, etc., obviously, and create some kind of taxonomy of it as we could never agree on the parameters, and yes, it may not be psychologically helpful to a victim of harassment to say, "Hey, at least you didn't get raped." But the fact that you already distinguish between "random ass people who have no experience with assault and trauma" and those who have experienced assault and trauma means that there are degrees and it doesn't "only matter for punishment so that the sentence fits the crime." It isn't with the goal of making people like Louis CK feel better but rather not flattening out the wide and varied experiences of pain felt by those who have been sexually wronged.

EDIT: Re: Aggroculture- very unfortunate for your wife to deal with shitty, condescending people, and, if they are condescending to her because she's a female professor, even worse! I think the term and the idea of deconstruction is not accurate because it only goes so far and then retroactively tries to explain social dynamics, and the models which come out of those critique-based schools of thought aren't themselves open to deconstruction and critique. For instance, a male boss can say the same snooty remark to a male employee and a female employee; it may be labeled as toxic masculine competition in the former and mansplaining in the latter, but true intersectionality (which does has many social benefits) would always require you to go deeper into the boss's psyche and social influences (not to mention neurological and genetic), so why stop there? It's reductive and retroactive on large scale and I think counter-productive on a small scale.

I'm sorry for having hijacked this thread in this way.

[sweeterthan]

Thanks for linking the Wiki page on mansplaining and including that very nice and academic definition for posterity (I'm guessing). My disagreement with the term doesn't come from an unfamiliarity with it. It's a silly term which is analytically and philosophically reductive, not to mention conversationally toxic, IMO. You're using the term correctly but I think the term is not correct.

I included it for you. Because you think it’s a "a special, magical-seeming word“, i wanted to make sure we’re on the same page as to what it is. You are welcome. You quoted me and asked a question. I answered you despite how stupid and loaded I thought the question was. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt to make your point. I’m still not sure what that is, other than to say that you think the word mansplain is silly and special and magical. You also say it’s conversationally toxic but add no other information as to why you feel the need to express that in response to me and my post about Bill Maher’s mansplaining.

As for your other thoughts, I do think there is a deeper disagreement here on the philosophy of suffering. It's been historically difficult to measure pain, suffering, etc., obviously, and create some kind of taxonomy of it as we could never agree on the parameters, and yes, it may not be psychologically helpful to a victim of harassment to say, "Hey, at least you didn't get raped.”

What is the disagreement? You’re making my point by saying it difficult to measure someone’s pain. That’s why its wrong for Maher to speak like he did about any woman’s personal experience. It’s disrespectful to assume we know anything about another person’s pain and questioning the severity of their experience possibly adds to their trauma.

But the fact that you already distinguish between "random ass people who have no experience with assault and trauma" and those who have experienced assault and trauma means that there are degrees and it doesn't "only matter for punishment so that the sentence fits the crime." It isn't with the goal of making people like Louis CK feel better but rather not flattening out the wide and varied experiences of pain felt by those who have been sexually wronged.

You’re almost making a point here. “not flattening out the wide and varied experiences of pain felt by those who have been sexually wronged” No one is doing that tho. If you have examples of that, please share them.

I'm sorry for having hijacked this thread in this way.

Have you even watched the Bill Maher video? Have you read the interview with Minnie Driver? The reason it has gone this way is because you posted a snarky question without contributing to the discussion in even a slightly meaningful way. You don’t like my word choice. You don’t agree. Ok. Thanks for posting.