the confessional

[kel]

nothing that scares or depresses you. nothing that makes you feel like a bad person. nothing randomly stupid.

what quirks or kinks or habits or interests or preferences or whatever that you want to get off your chest. or just want to share.

i realize that not all of us are anonymous, but it's a fairly open-minded and understanding community (and i have no shame).

i'll start.

i think stan from american dad and joe from family guy would be hot in real life.

also i'm terrified of even numbers when it comes to volume.

let your freak flag fly.

[ldopa]

OH GOD!

i have pet peeves, eccentricities, and proclivities! (i sound like don king!)

semantics (hello! forum survival rule no.1)
when people disregard the percussion portion of a band
stay away from my feet
i haven't owned a cell phone for over five years
if you're doing black monochromatic outfits, they MUST be the same shade; other colors, not a problem
i refuse to acknowledge brian johnson (bon scott forever)

[theimage13]

If I'm in a room reading and someone else comes in and sits down with any sort of remotely crunchy snack (nuts, crackers, chips, raw vegetables, etc) and starts eating, I have to leave. I go from calm and relaxed to downright angry when that's the only sound in a room.

[Ryan]

First names that start with E.

[allegro]

If you use bad grammar, I wonder about you, about your family background, if your mother loved you enough to teach you anything, if anybody ever cared enough about you to tell you, "NO! 'It's' is a CONTRACTION."

I want to stab the people who put their seats back on planes. This ain't 1985 where we all have ample leg room and free meals and a smoking section in the back rows; put your seat back up, you hillbilly.

Males who don't remove their hats in buildings. Even worse while dining in restaurants. Etiquette Rule Number One: Males remove your hat at the table, for the love of all that has left the farm. E-I-E-I-O.

I totally hate when my socks get wet (like, step on even a drop of water), even slightly; must immediately remove and replace; ditto for shirt sleeves.

I clean my kitchen about 5 times per day, minimum. I hate it when my quartz countertops have smudges. I also spot-clean my bathroom granite countertops a few times daily. I treat my stainless Wolf oven and my Subzero fridge better than my car; I clean and polish my oven and fridge using special cleaners until they sparkle and shine, yet I drive around in my salt-laden white Acura RDX for weeks until my husband finally takes it to the car wash for me.

[tony.parente]

Males who don't remove their hats in buildings. Even worse while dining in restaurants. Etiquette Rule Number One: Males remove your hat at the table, for the love of all that has left the farm. E-I-E-I-O.

This one piqued my interest as I haven't heard about etiquette violation in forever. Does it matter what restaurant I wear my hat in? Like would you go "wtf tony take your goddamned hat off you neanderthal" in an applebees or is that limited to nicer restaurants?

[elevenism]

I get REALLY excited about soaps, and am obsessive about having all my personal care products match that i possibly can (for example, i currently have Old Spice's body wash, body spray, shampoo and deodorant in 3 matching scents: Timber, Fiji, and Swagger.)

I love being under or near running water to the point where, once, i lived in an all bills paid apartment where the hot water never ran out, so i spent 2 to 4 hours sitting in the shower pretty much every day, reading, texting a long distance gf and meditating.


I make up goofy songs and speak and sing in bizarre, childish voices often enough to where it would drive most people insane. My girlfriends and wives have all thought it was cute and get a laugh out of it. If they don't like it, it's a deal breaker, because i don't have much control over it. Whether or not i vocalize it, it's still constantly going on in my head.
Strangely enough, i've realized that this is the same part of my brain responsible for writing music.

[wizfan]

also i'm terrified of even numbers when it comes to volume.

I'm the exact opposite of that. I don't want odd numbers when I adjust the volume.

[the duder]

I can only have the audio in factors of 5 on the TV/surround system. 10, 15, 5 = fine. 12, 28, 47 = get the fuck out of my house.

[allegro]

This one piqued my interest as I haven't heard about etiquette violation in forever. Does it matter what restaurant I wear my hat in? Like would you go "wtf tony take your goddamned hat off you neanderthal" in an applebees or is that limited to nicer restaurants?
All restaurants, or anyplace indoors in public (I can't believe the dingdongs who wear baseball hats at funerals; baseball hats have become the male hijab) . Etiquette never went away; many were never taught it. Although the exceptions now could probably be the line at Starbucks, etc.

[botley]

The leaving-your-silly-hat-on thing is the worst. It's like Jeff Daniels says in Looper, male fashion is now just copying movies that were themselves copying older movies. Humphrey Bogart at least knew that hats were outerwear, and you don't fucking wear a fedora with a T-shirt. Ever. Stop it.

[ldopa]

i love fried and poached eggs, but i trim as much of the white off as possible before eating (leaving a pile of whites on my plate at the end.) though i don't separate the yolk before cooking because it changes the texture and flavor of the yolk, making the whites a necessary evil.

[icklekitty]

When someone wears a backpack with a suit I can hear the fabric screaming at me from the other end of the train carriage.

[halloween]

I tell people I have no plans to come back to this part of the U.S. in at least 5 years. No one believes me, except of course my sister who totally understands my phobia. "It's the past!" she tells me, "Time to live your life and come back on your own terms!"

One friend told me "OOh, you're always back! I'll see you in the summer!!" No. No you won't. I just shrugged my shoulders when I got these skeptic responses, not trying to make them understand why I say this. It's just funny to see how so many people see me as this woman who constantly travels and there's nothing I can say to ever change the fact that I'll be back "soon". I have control of my life now, I do not plan on being back "soon". For one thing, it's expensive. Second, it's a stressful and long airplane ride. Third, I really really am going to be focusing on getting my life together in Brasil and any trips and vacations I make will be within the country or within South America (I've always wanted to visit Argentina and Chile!). It's not like I'm moving a few states over, people.

[Baphomette]

I'm doing this (https://33.media.tumblr.com/0782681cb4c352cc8922890ae0bf8224/tumblr_inline_mr8rkcWwp21qz4rgp.gif) at all times.

I'd never owned a cellphone until this Xmas when my BFF bought me one. It is still in the box. I refuse to open it.

The thought of ever setting foot inside a Levitz Furniture store fills me with dread. Were I ever to do so, something cataclysmic would happen. I believe this quirk to be hereditary as my father feels the same about Sears.

A Melanie Griffith movie is the origin of a certain fetish that I will not expand upon.


Males who don't remove their hats in buildings. Even worse while dining in restaurants. Etiquette Rule Number One: Males remove your hat at the table, for the love of all that has left the farm. E-I-E-I-O.This is a bad habit my dad has developed that drives my mother and I insane. Part of it, I think, is that he just forgets he's wearing one and no one reminds him (my mom will only do it if I'm there b/c safety in numbers). My dad is a sweet, funny guy so it's actually somewhat endearing but I still wish he'd take it off indoors.

[allegro]

I'm doing this (https://33.media.tumblr.com/0782681cb4c352cc8922890ae0bf8224/tumblr_inline_mr8rkcWwp21qz4rgp.gif) at all times.
HAAAA ha ha ha ha!!


This is a bad habit my dad has developed that drives my mother and I insane. Part of it, I think, is that he just forgets he's wearing one and no one reminds him (my mom will only do it if I'm there b/c safety in numbers). My dad is a sweet, funny guy so it's actually somewhat endearing but I still wish he'd take it off indoors.
G used to wear baseball caps all the time when we were first dating, and he'd forget to take them off indoors. He not only STOPPED DOING THAT (I spent months reminding him to put his napkin on his lap, too), but he eventually just stopped wearing those stupid baseball caps altogether. The former due to some gentle prodding from me, the latter due to his own decision (I think because he looked around at the Four Seasons one day and realized that nobody was wearing a baseball cap or a t-shirt with a Union slogan emblazoned on it.)

Yeah, maybe David Bowie wore sunglasses and baseball caps in public but he was trying to HIDE FROM THE PAPARAZZI. None of us are David Fucking Bowie.

Here are my pet peeves of etiquette that I cannot overlook, EVER (https://33.media.tumblr.com/0782681cb4c352cc8922890ae0bf8224/tumblr_inline_mr8rkcWwp21qz4rgp.gif):

* NO, you can't blow your nose in a restaurant; go to the restroom to do that
* Put your napkin on your lap, always, even at MCDONALD'S
* Get those elbows OFF the table; you aren't here for a nap (the mantra of my maternal grandparents)
* If your child is acting up, remove the child temporarily to the restroom or car until the child calms down, or pay your tab and exit
* NO, it's not cute to let your child run around in the restaurant; it's dangerous and a liability to the employees; make the child SIT DOWN and learn to behave

[Baphomette]

baseball capsI'd probably rip them off his head if he wore baseball caps. His selection is limited to Trilbys and fishing hats (with the brims rolled up). Hold on... (Yes, it's still bad etiquette.)

[allegro]

I'd probably rip them off his head if he wore baseball caps. His selection is limited to Trilbys and fishing hats (with the brims rolled up). Hold on... (Yes, it's still bad etiquette.)
Aw, so it's kinda "On Golden Pond" heh. So say:

"HEY! HENRY FONDA! WE'RE INSIDE A BUILDING. LOSE THE HAT!" :p

http://media.hamptonroads.com/cache/files/images/blogs/214751.jpg

Or just keep pointing to your head and going "PSSSST. PSSSST" hahahaha

G has a COLLECTION of baseball caps. Like, a huge friggin' box of them. Which will someday go to Goodwill or something, I dunno. Wherever unused baseball caps go to die. I'm thinking a BONFIRE.

[allegro]

In this this AWESOME version of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" with Patrick Stewart as Scrooge, at 0:40 Scrooge walks into church on Christmas day unwittingly still wearing his top hat and is reminded, HEY, TAKE OFF YOUR HAT!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMvl0UTY3ho

[marodi]

Mirrors are creepy. I look into one only when I absolutely have to.

Even if I am alone, I cannot sleep with my bedroom door opened.

I live in silence. There's never music playing, no radio and the tv is on only if I'm watching it. No background or white noise.

[Swykk]

I can't sleep with my closet door open.

Anytime I have fruit snacks, gummi bears, M&Ms, Skittles, etc I separate them by color and eat them in order from least favorite to best.

I like dogs better than most people, especially children.

[kel]

edit .....

[allegro]

I can't sleep with my closet door open.
I was that way for a LONG time when I was a kid after seeing this movie:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC-7t5VLLN4

[Swykk]

When I was a little kid, likely due to cancer treatments, I'd have these vivid nightmares about people and things emerging from my closet and hurting/sometimes killing me.

Fun follow up...about 8 years ago I lived in a town home and we had a walk in closet. One day, we left the door open to it and my dog just sat in the doorway for a bit and started getting very angry/scared (which never happens. He's super sweet). His hair was up, he was snarling, and showing his teeth.

I looked at my wife at the time and said, "That's why we close that when we sleep."

[Baphomette]

I live in silence. There's never music playing, no radio and the tv is on only if I'm watching it. No background or white noise.Words are very unnecessary, eh?

[thelastdisciple]

Males who don't remove their hats in buildings. Even worse while dining in restaurants. Etiquette Rule Number One: Males remove your hat at the table, for the love of all that has left the farm. E-I-E-I-O.
I only take my hat off around people i know REALLY well, it's a security blanket type of thing i guess that helps me cope with my anxiety issues in the smallest way and i just get self conscious as hell when it comes to the hair on my head, shape of my head, hairline etc... Hats are my "makeup".. yeah it's silly but that's how I've been wired unfortunately. I just don't see why it should bother anyone, i wear a hat almost as much as a pair of socks. Yeah i may not wear it at home but that's usually because I'm around people i feel comfortable with either that or no one's around, that's basically me letting my guard down, if someone was coming over that wasn't around much I'd throw a hat right back on.. and as soon as I'm out the door my hat isn't coming off for hardly ANYONE unless of course I'm at a funeral or a workplace where i have no choice those are probably the only exceptions. If I'm eating out at a restaurant I'm there to eat and GTFO lol I'm not checking in and staying the night or anything.

[Dra508]

* NO, you can't blow your nose in a restaurant; go to the restroom to do that
* Put your napkin on your lap, always, even at MCDONALD'S
* Get those elbows OFF the table; you aren't here for a nap (the mantra of my maternal grandparents)
*
** you did go to my Grandmother's table manner school**

All this and chewing with your mouth open. I do not want to hear or see what's going on in your mouth. Can't you hear it too? Gah-ross



Fingers near door jams. Massive fear of getting one or someone else's finger crushed.

[allegro]

If I'm eating out at a restaurant I'm there to eat and GTFO
Well, I also assume you are not eating at a nicer establishment, otherwise you draw MORE attention to yourself (not less) with the hat on instead of off. It's the equivalent of wearing a ski mask everywhere (equally outerwear), except at some point people stopped taking baseball caps off because they became security blankets for everybody (not just you). Baseball caps were something of a "uniform" for my husband for decades, except he plays hockey, not baseball, and he has about 60 baseball caps; but when he started wearing them in nicer dining establishments and I whispered, "Look around at the people staring at you for keeping your baseball hat on in this restaurant;" he did and realized he had been oblivious to the unwanted attention he was bringing to himself. He likes being a nonconformist, but not in that "trucker accidentally walked into a 4-star restaurant" kind of way. If you're in Denny's or McDonald's, I don't think anybody is going to care if you're wearing a baseball cap. But if you're at a nicer restaurant and people are dressed nicer, they're going to notice you MORE (and not in a good way) than maybe you realize because you stand out incongruously. So if you MUST wear your hat, I'm assuming you are sticking to the Denny's type establishments so that you aren't drawing stares from people pointing at the trucker guy in the fine dining establishment.


** you did go to my Grandmother's table manner school**
Martha Stewart's, too. Manners never died. I read "Miss Manners" in the paper all the time. I wish everybody would read these (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robasghar/2014/04/22/27-etiquette-rules-for-our-times/#2715e4857a0b7bec8c7a61dc).

See also this! (http://www.forbes.com/sites/robasghar/2014/04/22/put-down-that-knife-how-good-manners-saved-the-world/#2715e4857a0b6d969cc9b22b)


All this and chewing with your mouth open.
Ew, ditto. And talking with your mouth full! Just stop it! If you MUST speak, put your hand in front of your mouth.

And I really hate it when people bite their fork when they take a bite. Ugh.

[thelastdisciple]

I definitely try to avoid formal dining establishments as much as i can haha

[marodi]

Words are very unnecessary, eh?

Indeed they are.

Also: best food to eat while watching a movie: peas or dill pickles. They really should sell those in theaters.

[ldopa]

i have a tendency to blame everything on monsanto. it's become a joke among my family and friends, so if my mom misses a green light or whatever: "IT'S MONSANTO, STUPID!"

@marodi (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=125) , there is a resort in napa valley (i believe) where it's all silent and you can't talk. i would love to spend a couple weeks there.

[kel]

i wear subtle concealer/foundation under my eyes every day and no one has ever claimed to notice.

blending, y'all.

edit: not much of a confession, more about how no one has ever noticed.

[ldopa]

i steal the air freshener from restaurant bathrooms constantly. i have like, fifteen half size lysol cans. and i give them to my friends and stock the bathroom at work with them. i swear i can afford sundries, but it makes me feel alive.

[Amaro]

Males who don't remove their hats in buildings. Even worse while dining in restaurants. Etiquette Rule Number One: Males remove your hat at the table, for the love of all that has left the farm. E-I-E-I-O.

If I'm not sitting down in a building, the hat stays on. I don't like holding shit.

[aggroculture]

That public restrooms don't have soap anymore, but instead a chemical foam gunk masquerading as soap which clearly is NOT soap.

EDIT: Ooops I thought this was the little things that piss you off thread.

[Swykk]

I daydream about revenge way too much. They're just thoughts and I would likely never act on them, but it makes me feel good. Justice and karma don't really exist so I guess I just go there when I zone out.

[kel]

you want public restrooms to have bar soap? that can't be right.

i'm obsessed with men's forearms. and wrists. the bigger, the better.

also stocky, shorter-than-me (i'm 6'2") men with dark-rimmed glasses and beards/goatees totally turn me on.

bonus: i sleepwalk a lot and wake up in the shower a few times a year. when i was a kid i would pee in the worst places whilst asleep -- my drawers, the fridge (seriously), the closet.

[the duder]

I've come to loathe teenagers. Teaching and coaching has got me in a funk today.

[kel]

edit. nevermind.

[botley]

If I'm not sitting down in a building, the hat stays on. I don't like holding shit.

That can be pretty annoying and yes, most buildings stopped offering hat racks in 1973, but the potential disadvantage of walking around looking like I don't care about where I am or who is around, for me, outweighs my laziness and gives pause when I choose a hat to wear before I leave the house.

[theimage13]

Males who don't remove their hats in buildings. Even worse while dining in restaurants. Etiquette Rule Number One: Males remove your hat at the table, for the love of all that has left the farm. E-I-E-I-O.


Honest question, even though this may sound sarcastic: are you okay with women who leave their hats on in buildings?

[allegro]

Honest question, even though this may sound sarcastic: are you okay with women who leave their hats on in buildings?
It's always been okay per etiquette for dressy hats, yes, as millinery for females has always been designed as fashion and not outerwear.

But baseball caps? Unless you're getting chemotherapy, not acceptable indoors.

Yes (http://i0.wp.com/royal-fans.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Catherine-Duchess-of-Cambridge-especially-fond-of-hats-and-fascinators-%E2%80%94-she-has-at-least-40-of-them-Photo-C-Getty-Images.jpg).

No (http://buyhathats20151125.jetting.netdna-cdn.com/sites/default/files/hat-cap-images/15-09/fashion-rabbit-fur-knit-hat-women-cute-hairball-winter-hats12314.jpg).

Until Vatican II, women were required to wear hats (or, at least something on their heads, even a mantilla (http://www.headcoverings-by-devorah.com/images3/XSmGoldLaceMantillaBlkVeniseTrim.jpg)) in Catholic church for Mass.

Emily Post (the arbiter of all things etiquette) weighs in (http://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone/).

Women should always remove fashion gloves at the table when eating; which young women don't seem to know, as evidenced at prom time when seeing young girls eating dinner with their gloves still on. You should not even eat an appetizer with your gloves still on (http://www.etiquette-and-manners-for-the-contemporary-woman.com/glove-etiquette.html).

Also, women, for the love of God please don't ALWAYS blatantly apply lipstick in public (http://emilypost.com/advice/lipstick-at-the-table/).

[Bluegirl]

I never reapply lipstick. Ever. If it comes off it comes off.

I have this weird thing about makeup. Maybe it is because I never really learned how to use it properly but if I put on eye makeup and lipstick I have flash backs to going to church as a kid. If I wear one or the other I am fine but if I wear both I look in the mirror and get visions of my mom putting on makeup before church. It makes me feel fake and old and gross. Like I am trying too hard to be pretty when I am not. A good way to ruin a night is for me to put full makeup on. I will feel insecure and horrible all night.

[ldopa]

^ i'm sorta the same. i always like to emphasize my eyes (for going out, not for work) then i wear burt's bees tinted chapstick. it's a kick ass duo.

[aggroculture]

I write a lot of ETS posts that I cut/copy/save in a word file instead of posting.

[Shadaloo]

I do not like being barefoot due to a pin lodging itself a half-inch into my heel as a kid. This has resulted in a useless complex:

I don't take my socks off in public for any reason apart from them being soaking wet. I'll even keep them on at a beach until I absolutely must go into the water. I will often change socks right before I go to bed and leave them on.

I have worn nothing but army surplus combat boots going on nearly fifteen years. I recently started running and so sneakers are like a childhood friend who I no longer recognize that make me vaguely weird and uncomfortable.

[Pillfred]

I take mildly perverse enjoyment out of not washing my hands after work when done using the bathroom. Being as I probably wash them 20-30 times during a shift.

[allegro]

When I'm leaving the Jewel supermarket and pass all of the pastries on a table placed at the entry / exit, I have this repeated compulsive desire to rip off a box of doughnuts or a cake or something.

[elevenism]

I've probably shoplifted more wine than most people have drank in their lives.
I cut a slit in the lining of this wool and cashmere trench coat, so i could rapidly stick a bottle of wine in it and have it wind up down by my ankles, inside the lining of the coat.
Extreme alcoholism in my twenties pushed me to this, but i still open one of the little bitty boxes of wine in the grocery store and drink it while i shop. it's pretty much the only time i drink. :p:p:p

[Ryan]

I've probably shoplifted more wine than most people have drank in their lives.
I cut a slit in the lining of this wool and cashmere trench coat, so i could rapidly stick a bottle of wine in it and have it wind up down by my ankles, inside the lining of the coat.
Extreme alcoholism in my twenties pushed me to this, but i still open one of the little bitty boxes of wine in the grocery store and drink it while i shop. it's pretty much the only time i drink. :p:p:p

You naughty naughty boy!

[allegro]

i still open one of the little bitty boxes of wine in the grocery store and drink it while i shop. it's pretty much the only time i drink. :p:p:p

I do this with sushi, except I pay for it at the checkout. When the cashier eyes me funny, I smile and say "rats! big big rats!"

[the duder]

Sometimes, when I clip my toenails or fingernails, I pile them up. Then I sift through the clippings to find the right one or two to eat.

[eversonpoe]

Sometimes, when I clip my toenails or fingernails, I pile them up. Then I sift through the clippings to find the right one or two to eat.

...what? you EAT them? one of my biggest pet peeves is when people bite their nails (the noise drives me insane and i also think it's gross) so i think if i ever saw someone do this i would immediately vomit.

no offense intended, just being honest.

[Swykk]

I chew my nails and skin around them but do not actually eat any of it. Just a nervous habit I've always had.

[the duder]

...what? you EAT them? one of my biggest pet peeves is when people bite their nails (the noise drives me insane and i also think it's gross) so i think if i ever saw someone do this i would immediately vomit.

no offense intended, just being honest.

No offense taken; and my wife hates it. Just something that I've done as long as I can remember. I think it's the texture that I like?

[somewhat_]

I play with my socks

[allegro]

I chew my nails and skin around them but do not actually eat any of it. Just a nervous habit I've always had.

See also Dermatophagia (http://motherboard.vice.com/read/dermatophagia-the-psychological-disorder-that-makes-people-bite-their-own-skin). A lot more common than people realize.

[Swykk]

See also Dermatophagia (http://motherboard.vice.com/read/dermatophagia-the-psychological-disorder-that-makes-people-bite-their-own-skin). A lot more common than people realize.

Interesting. I don't really chew anywhere but around the nail. Whatever I get off of the nail or finger goes in the trash or toilet. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it especially these days.

[elevenism]

Sometimes, when I clip my toenails or fingernails, I pile them up. Then I sift through the clippings to find the right one or two to eat.
dude that's fucking hilarious, and it sounds like one of the goofy things i would say, except it's true ;P

[eversonpoe]

i miss having people i can talk to in real life, about anything. i tell my wife pretty much everything but there are certain discussions i just don't want to have with her. i'm glad we get to spend most of our time together but, as someone who actually LIKES people, i can't get EVERYTHING i need from one person.

it's been so long since i've written (fiction, non-fiction, lyrics) that i have trouble even stringing together words in my head. i miss being a good writer.

i spend more time on ETS than any other website. sometimes, when i'm feeling particularly lonely, i check back over and over and over, hoping someone has posted something new. even if i don't reply, even when no one is talking directly to me, it makes me feel like i have a group of friends again.

i can't stop buying vinyl even though i should be saving money to put toward more important things.

i have felt vaguely but completely hopeless so many times in the last week that i have lost count. the only comfort i find is in the fact that i am frightened by that, so i know that i have not completely lost touch with rational thought.

i'm using this thread as a therapist.

i don't want to go back to therapy. i'm "fixed" now. i made it through my nearly two decade clinical depression. i'm supposed to be ok. but i know that's not how it works.

when i'm bored i look at the casual encounters section of craigslist. it doesn't make me horny, and i never even think about responding to any of the ads. i get really frustrated when people make spelling and/or grammar errors.

i used to post in the casual encounters section of craigslist (but wouldn't respond to people who wrote to me) back when i was in an abusive relationship, simply because i wanted to feel desired by someone.

i should stop talking now.

[ldopa]

i can't remember almost half of what i post here or what i talk about with people because i have alcohol in my system 90% of my waking life. not a confession because i make no secret of it. i wish i wasn't such at times, but it's part of my personality or facade, if you will. i'm the "tough pretty chick who can handle her liquor." i get my shit done, but barely. i don't have much motivation at the moment, but i try. it's just like my report cards as a child: "she is bright and has potential, but is easily distracted and talks too much..." such is life.

[kel]

eversonpoe, you're not alone. i'm estranged from most of my best friends thanks to anxiety.

you're a goddamn genius and a real treasure around here.

chin up.

[Halo Infinity]

I'm not sure if this applies, but it probably does. It sort of seems like my Note to Self thread. Anyway, I'm just glad that I finally learned this as I confess to have been very oblivious to how friendships change in one's 20s. And now that they're gone, I finally see the big picture of friendship and making and keeping friends as an adult.

I didn't realize just how hanging out changes even in ages as young as 18-24. I kept struggling to realize this, but yeah. Changes often happen sooner than I expect anyway and there always seems to be an enormous change for my life every single decade. There was a quote that said that friendship becomes more than just play dates (And in my case, it was gaming.) and sleepovers, and now I finally get it, and have now realized to socialize and make plans a lot differently, and it has helped me know what to expect and ask for when it comes to getting to know people. I think it only lasted so long with me because one of my best friends was like a younger brother to me, but as soon as he entered that age group, he also stopped hanging out that way, especially for weekends and vacations.

This point is also best summed up in this lovely quote I've seen on Tumblr. I found a picture of it, but I can't find it right now.

http://cosimahellaniehaus.tumblr.com/post/135051003076/i-used-to-think-friendship-was-sleepovers-and-play

-I also thought of copying and pasting it, should it get deleted.-

I used to think friendship was sleepovers and play dates. Now I know it’s not.
Friendship is three in the morning talks about what happened the day before and why the hell you’re still awake.
Friendship is three in the afternoon laughing so hard you’re on the floor at a corny joke for the third time that day.
Friendship is sitting there eating in silence because you would rather eat than talk (and they would too).
Friendship is love in the strangest ways when all else is lost.

I'll admit that I wouldn't be into that as much as I used to either, but I still wouldn't be above it, should I get the desire and chance to do so. However, it now also helps me understand why traveling, parties, eating out and even road trips are more of a thing to do as an adult. And well, at least it's also good to not see too much of each other anyway. It would have saved me a lot of trouble/questioning had I realized this a lot sooner. It also ultimately made me realize why I couldn't just always invite people to my house, or request visitations to their homes either.

I also always used to think that compromise and negotiation were often positive, welcome and accommodated aspect of friendships and relationships. Sometimes, it just never is. It truly taught me a lot more about the importance behind just going with the flow whenever it came to spending time with others.

And due to also realizing just how accustomed I was to the convenience of relying on the Internet for socializing since the early 2000s, I also finally learned not to always use writing as a shortcut/crutch in order to get to know people. Even having most, if not all of the same interests isn't always enough to keep people remaining.

[Lew]

i have serious problems reconciling with my sexual self.
in a lot of ways my sexual self doesn't FIT me.
and i don't really want that self to fit me.
but it causes issues and a whole lot of dissonance.
:(

[Lew]

I daydream about revenge way too much. They're just thoughts and I would likely never act on them, but it makes me feel good. Justice and karma don't really exist so I guess I just go there when I zone out.

i daydream about bar room brawling way too much. lol. like i am half rambo in my head and am pretty much constantly ready to throw down. same, i'd likely not act on it, but man is it ever locked down on speed dial in the brain.

[Lew]

it's been so long since i've written (fiction, non-fiction, lyrics) that i have trouble even stringing together words in my head. i miss being a good writer.



i should stop talking now.

you are still a good writer, just currently not writing. :)
and please do not stop talking now. or ever.
<3

[Timinator]

I am fucking awesome at doing, and promoting myself at, my job. Honestly, if you want tips in how to succeed at work I'm the goddamn man. I'm an unstoppable workplace success machine.

[Swykk]

@eversonpoe (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=588) I understand much of what you wrote all too well.

That might not help and lately, I am not sure what this is worth but I think you're a good person. I like you.

[Halo Infinity]

i miss having people i can talk to in real life, about anything. i tell my wife pretty much everything but there are certain discussions i just don't want to have with her. i'm glad we get to spend most of our time together but, as someone who actually LIKES people, i can't get EVERYTHING i need from one person.
I feel the same exact way. It's been a while, but those real life experiences of having a good face to face conversation really were awesome. They really felt me leaving uplifted and happy too.


i spend more time on ETS than any other website. sometimes, when i'm feeling particularly lonely, i check back over and over and over, hoping someone has posted something new. even if i don't reply, even when no one is talking directly to me, it makes me feel like i have a group of friends again.


i'm using this thread as a therapist.

This is also so me. Typing ETS on address bars has been like a reflex for me since 2004. It also helped me not feel so alone even if I still had troubles fitting in due to my own ignorance and blunders. In a way, I might as well confess that aside from being a fan of Nine Inch Nails, I also went in here wanting a place to fit in and belong to. It's a part of what made me so addicted to this place, while taking it a lot more seriously than I should've. But that's not really the burden of the forum, but the user, especially on a forum like ETS. There's also still no doubt that ETS was, and still is indeed, one of the most awesome Internet forums ever.


i have felt vaguely but completely hopeless so many times in the last week that i have lost count. the only comfort i find is in the fact that i am frightened by that, so i know that i have not completely lost touch with rational thought.
This pretty much sums up my occasional feelings and thoughts of hopelessness, loss, confusion and being jaded/discouraged as well.


i should stop talking now.

I probably should too, but it also sometimes still helps to know that I'm not alone. While we might be experiencing very different lives, it seems like I still related to you a lot more than I thought I did. I wish you well.

[Substance242]

Sometimes, before watching a movie with editable subtitles, I insert very bad words at some random places, with no idea about the context, and then I laugh my ass off when these edits happen during watching. Completely juvenile. I love it. ;-)

[Bluegirl]

Today I realized that I have slowly become that women who brings her dog with her everywhere because she has no one else to go places with. It is incredibly depressing. Most of my friends live spread out over a large area in every direction. Add that to the fact that they are all married or in serious relationships. So getting together is usually left to birthdays and special events and they are getting fewer and farther between. Last year I celebrate my birthday three weeks late because that is how much rescheduling it took to get everyone together and even then some of them had to rearrange other things to do it.

I thought things would get better because I just started a job 2 months ago but I live in the suburbs of DC which means the majority of people live 30 mins to 1 hr away in every direction and I swear I am the only single person over the age of 25 in the entire company. I have no desire to be the weirdo that is trying to hang out with people 10 years younger then me. I have never been very good at making friends and at my prime I would get asked out on a date maybe 2 to 3 times a year. People have always seemed perfectly fine with being causally friendly with me but actual friendship not so much. In general I find all human interaction to be at best slightly stressful and having all the effort to be one sided just saps so much of my energy.

Dating is nonexistent. I have not had a date in about 3 years. I thought as I got older and the guys have gotten more mature it would get better but it seems like there was a window were all the guys that finally matured got someone and everyone that is left is single for a reason or because they only want twenty years-old. I did Match for a few months and there are way to many guys in their thirty's who want women between the ages of 18 to 29. I try to put myself out there but the truth is I refuse to compromise so when the odd off guy comes around and I am not at all attracted to him, thats it. I am not going to cling to some one just because I can't find anyone else. That seems like it would be twice as stressful as a normal relationship (not that I would know). And most of the guys who are interested tend to be uber nerds who think that my being in the sciences means that I would be all into that or guys who seem to think I will put up with obsessive and controlling behavior (there must be something about my face that makes people think I am a push over, I am not). I will wait. I would rather wait forever then put up with that but it would be a whole lot easier if I could hang out with friends on the weekend instead of just my dog.

[blake]

Anytime I have fruit snacks, gummi bears, M&Ms, Skittles, etc I separate them by color and eat them in order from least favorite to best.
I totally do this, too. I always thought I must be a weirdo for doing it. Come to think of it, I suppose I am. But now I know I'm not the only one.


** you did go to my Grandmother's table manner school**

All this and chewing with your mouth open. I do not want to hear or see what's going on in your mouth. Can't you hear it too? Gah-ross
I cannot stand to hear someone chewing with open mouth or trying to talk with their mouth full of food. Makes me want to hurl. My roommate at school had a bad habit of doing both.

One other bit of weirdness on my part is wanting to rearrange the letters in OCD to CDO, so they're in alphabetical order. Perhaps I need meds.

[elevenism]

i miss having people i can talk to in real life, about anything. i tell my wife pretty much everything but there are certain discussions i just don't want to have with her. i'm glad we get to spend most of our time together but, as someone who actually LIKES people, i can't get EVERYTHING i need from one person.
i spend more time on ETS than any other website. sometimes, when i'm feeling particularly lonely, i check back over and over and over, hoping someone has posted something new. even if i don't reply, even when no one is talking directly to me, it makes me feel like i have a group of friends again.

I FEEL you.
You and i have been married almost the same amount of time i think.
I know what you mean. We moved and i left all my real life friends in dallas.
and i do the same fucking thing with ets, looking back over and over.

BTW, you are still a good writer. Your post was good writing.

[Halo Infinity]

I have been and will always be a slow learner. I suppose it's just a matter of accepting it now as things often have to be explained to me in great detail right down to how and why, especially when learning and realizing something for the very first time. This obviously isn't anything new though, but I sometimes seemed to deny it habitually. A perfect example would actually be the following.

I used to think that leaving my comfort zone was simply stepping out of my front door. However, once I learned how it's so much more than that, it began to put a lot of things into perspective.

I also didn't realize that adventurous travels didn't always have to be explicitly described and labeled as camping trips or expeditions. They were just already understood, and it helped me also understand why walking/driving on flat dry land at all times wasn't enough for some travelers.

And it would have saved me a great deal of trouble if I knew to simply not discuss personal lives and personalities, including my own when socializing anywhere in public, as well as to dodge topics on things you disagree with, disbelieve in or dislike/hate and only focus on the things you have in common, agree with and like/love. (As disagreements can either make or break all sorts of relationships.)

I'm still working on it though, as I did it again, but some topics like this one will always inevitably lead to personal lives and personalities and negative/personal topics. Once I learned that, thanks to my father teaching me that, it also helped put what over-sharing and nosiness really was into perspective for me and how to just come across as diplomatic, safe and friendly altogether. I somehow also overlooked that personal is often synonymous with the word private and that it always means private no matter how typical or trivial the topic might be.

I also used to think there's a way to always tactfully and respectfully disagree, but I was also wrong. Anything leading into the chance of proving people wrong will eventually aggravate them and start a fight. In more cases than I thought, tactfully/respectfully disagreeing is an oxymoron.

And well, I'm just thankful I learned late than never anyway, even if it still left me feeling stupid.

Oh yes, and forgetting things and letting go was always tremendous challenge for me. It still is. Lots of things just stick to me, and I was always the glue and never the rubber. (As that expression went. I often lose out the being the glue.) It's also bad enough that I'm sometimes prone to take things extremely literally, seriously and personal to the extent of getting trapped in an "Eye for an eye." mentality. I've just always been that way.

[kel]

i met a guy on myspace when i was 26. ten years later, we're finally meeting. he's a bear-lebrity, tons of followers, all that nonsense.

i'm willing to drop everything for this and it horrifies me.